DAILY LARIAT: ONE STOP SHOPPING FOR ALL THE DAY'S WWE NEWS
By
Dave Scherer on 2006-10-17 19:05:00
by Richard Trionfo The Raw brand returns to action in Los Angeles and it is time to see what stars come out to see the stars of World Wrestling Entertainment. What is next for Randy Orton and Edge since they have appeared to form an alliance to take on Degeneration X? Will we finally get to see Cryme Tyme in the ring? Will they steal our hearts if they have a match? What is next for John Cena as he gets ready to face the Big Show and King Booker at Cyber Sunday? What fun will Vince McMahon have for us? What will happen next in the Women’s Title tournament?
We are live on tape from Los Angeles , California and your announcers are Jim ‘J-Fed’ Ross and Jerry ‘PoPoZao’ Lawler.
Lillian Garcia is interrupted by Degeneration X, but it is not Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Instead it is Triple Edge and the RKO Kid. The RKO has hurt his back as he dances around on the stage while Triple Edge chokes on the water as he tries for the GameFountain. Triple Edge and the RKO Kid collapse in the ring. Edge takes the mic from Lillian. Edge asks everyone if they are ready. He says that if that is what it takes to get people ready and to hold up their signs and buy the DX merchandise, then they don’t want any piece of that crap. Edge says that they are the two most talented men in this industry. He says that they don’t need to make other people look like asses to further their careers. The only people who get off at this humor are twelve year olds and a the idiots in the crowd. Orton says that because of the fans, DX thinks that they can run around and do whatever they want. They think they can get away with whatever they want. From now on, he and Edge are going to put an end to that. They are going to kill the legend of DX. For all of the people who applaud DX and wear their merchandise, they have two words for them . . . You Suck!
Degeneration X’s music plays again and the real Triple H and Shawn Michaels come out and go to the ring. Shawn and Hunter have mics and Shawn asks Hunter if he really looks like that much of an idiot when he comes out. Hunter says that he is not going to lie to Shawn, but he asks Randy and Edge why they are doing this. He tells Randy and Edge that they are two of the biggest superstars in the WWE. Randy Orton is the Legend Killer and the youngest world champion. Edge is the Rated R Superstar and a two time champion. Hunter asks everyone if they think Edge and Orton are jokes. Hunter says that despite the fans reaction, they do not think they are jokes. Hunter and Shawn mention the ‘Live Sex Show’ and how that segment did high ratings, even if he couldn’t rise to the occasion. Hunter says that he got half aroused, but then Shawn whispers in Hunter’s ear and he comments that the photo was of Edge fully aroused. Hunter says that Randy is one of the biggest superstars in the WWE. He is an icon. Hunter tells everyone that Randy Orton is the number one downloaded superstar on the internet . . . within the gay community. They show a photo of Randy coming out of the shower covered by a towel. Hunter then shows a photo of Shawn Michaels from Playgirl and Shawn freaks out. Orton stops Hunter and says that the jokes are over. Orton says that he wants Hunter tonight, but Hunter makes it sound like a sexual proposition. Shawn says that cooler heads should prevail. Orton says that Hunter is jealous of him and he wants Hunter to show if he has the guts to prove it in the ring. Hunter accepts the challenge. Shawn says that if they think they are going to kill the legend that is DX, they have two words. Before Shawn can say anything else, Edge and Orton punch Hunter and Shawn, but Edge and Orton retreat for higher ground.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: Mitch facing Ric Flair last week and the appearance of some of Flair’s ‘friends’.
Aaron and Nick Carter are shown in the front row before we see the Spirit Squad come to the ring.
Match Number One: Spirit Squad (Johnny and Mikey) versus Cryme Tyme
JTG and Mikey start things off and Johnny with a shoulder tackle. JTG with a hip toss and drop kick. Shad with a shoulder tackle and then JTG tags in and he hits a leap frog splash onto Johnny’s arm. Mikey with a blind tag and he hits a bulldog for a two count. Mikey with crossfaces to JTG. Johnny tags in and they hit a double suplex on JTG for a two count. Johnny with a rear chin lock and then he tags in Mikey as they try for a double suplex, but JTG lands on his feet and he hits a double neck breaker. Shad with punches and clotheslines followed by a back body drop and flap jack. Shad with a big boot to Mikey but Johnny makes the save. Shad with a double clothesline and then JTG knocks a member of the Spirit Squad off the top turnbuckle. Cryme Tyme hit a Samoan Drop and neck breaker combination for the three count. We go to commercial.
Winner: Cryme Tyme
We are back and we see footage during the break of Kenny attacking fellow members of the Spirit Squad. Kenny leaves the ring and he goes to the back.
Todd Grisham is with Melina and Johnny Nitro in the interview area. Todd says that there are rumors that we will see one of Nitro and Melina’s celebrity friends. Melina says that the rumors are true and their guest will shock the world. They will reveal the guest when the time is right. They will let everyone know when they want them to know.
We go to footage from The Marine and fan reaction.
King Booker and Queen Sharmell are in the McOffice with Coach. Coach says that Vince McMahon wanted to make sure that all three champions were present for a major announcement. Coach tells Booker to relax in the office until he is needed. Booker thanks the squire for his hospitality. Cryme Tyme enters and they take some of the food. They shake hands with Coach and they say that Queen Sharmell is the bomb. Cryme Tyme wants to show some love to King Booker. Cryme Tyme leave and Coach wants to know if Booker understood what Cryme Tyme said and Booker says that he does not speak Ebonics. Booker wants to know what type of operation Coach is running. Booker looks for his wallet and he thinks that Cryme Tyme stole his wallet.
Jeff Hardy is walking in the back as we go to commercial.
Match Number Two: Chris Masters versus Super Crazy versus Shelton Benjamin versus Jeff Hardy for the Intercontinental Title in a Fatal Four Way Match
All four men square off in the center and Benjamin goes after Super Crazy while Master punches Hardy. Crazy with a satellite head scissors to Benjamin and Benjamin goes outside the ring. Hardy kicks Masters and then hits a flying clothesline. Benjamin slams Crazy’s head into the ringside barrier and Crazy returns the favor. Masters with a running clothesline into the corner and he chokes Hardy. Masters with a suplex to Hardy for a two count. Benjamin and Crazy still fight outside the ring and Benjamin with a head butt to Crazy. Masters with shoulders to Hardy in the corner. Hardy moves out of the way of a clothesline and Hardy with kicks and punches of ten. Crazy punches Benjamin and Crazy tosses Hardy to the floor. Crazy goes up top but Benjamin jumps to the top rope and he sets for a superplex. Masters grabs Benjamin and he power bombs Benjamin while Benjamin hits a superplex on Crazy. Masters with a series of two counts and we go to commercial.
We are back and Hardy kicks Masters while Benjamin lies in the corner. Hardy tries for a suplex but Masters blocks it. Masters with a delayed vertical suplex but Benjamin punches Masters and throws him out of the ring. Benjamin covers Hardy for a two count. Benjamin tries for a power bomb, but Hardy with a sunset flip counter. Hardy with a drop kick to Benjamin but Masters hits Hardy from behind. Masters misses a clothesline in the corner and he tries for a Twist of Fate but Masters sends Hardy into a super kick from Benjamin. Masters slams Hardy over the top rope to the floor. Benjamin and Masters exchange punches and then Crazy hits a missile drop kick on Benjamin. Crazy with a crucifix driver for a two count on Masters. Crazy with a rollup for a two count on Masters. Crazy tries for a wheelbarrow move but Masters puts Crazy in the MasterLock. Benjamin with a springboard leap frog neck breaker on Masters. Crazy punches Benjamin. Hardy with a jumping leg lariat off Crazy’s back onto Benjamin and Masters in the corner. Hardy then hits a mule kick on Crazy and clotheslines to Benjamin. Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind on Benjamin and Crazy breaks up the cover. Hardy with a baseball slide that knocks Benjamin off the apron. Hardy back body drops Crazy onto Benjamin on the floor and then he hits the Twist of Fate on Masters followed by the Swanton for the three count.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
King Booker is talking to local police about Cryme Tyme stealing his wallet. He says that they all look alike. Big Show arrives and he says that he is here to hear what Vince McMahon says. King Booker says that he will leave Cyber Sunday as Champion of Champions. Coach tells Show and Booker that Vince is there. Vince wants to know where John Cena is since he is here to make his announcement about the three champions. He tells Coach to find Cena. Vince says that they will find the announcement of great interest. We go to commercial.
We are back with a commercial for Cyber Sunday and the Champion of Champions match.
Melina and Johnny Nitro come to the ring and Nitro has a mic. He says that they have a very special guest tonight. He says that this man is an ‘A Lister’. The man is one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. He is an actor and a rapper. He is also a close friend of Johnny Nitro and Melina. Kevin Federline comes to the ring. Kevin says that the people need to stop booing Nitro and Melina and treat them with some respect. He says that the same people booing are the same people buying magazines with his face on it every week. He says that everyone are a bunch of LA superficial poseurs. Melina says that is so profound. She wants Kevin to debut a new song off his album. Kevin says that they can wait until his album is released. Nitro suggests that they leave.
John Cena’s music plays and he comes to the ring and he gets a mic. Cena says that he cannot have someone come out to promise a hip hop performance and then leave without performing. Cena says that he hasn’t done this in a long time and he might be a little bit rusty, not to the quality level of a Kevin Federline. Cena suggests that he might do a rap.
The album’s called Playing with Fire
The World’s Biggest Scumbag
Here he is Kevin Federline
The only reason people know you is because your fame and fortune’s built in.
He has John Cena’s street cred
And less talent than Paris Hilton
You want to knock on these people, you must be dreaming
These people hang with a marine
You are with a dude who likes semen
He says that Nitro doesn’t have the nuts to hit him
If K-Fed wasn’t around, he would be spearing Britney
Nitro has had enough and he takes off his shirt. Cena kicks Nitro and he throws Nitro out of the ring.
Big Show’s music plays and he comes to the ring. King Booker and Queen Sharmell also come to the ring.
Vince McMahon is not going to let the party start without him and he comes to the ring.
Vince McMahon and the three world champions are in the ring together. Vince says that this is pretty special and this is going to happen on Cyber Sunday when they compete in the ring. In the triple threat match, we will find out who will be the Champion of Champions. That will not be the only thing at stake. One of the titles will be on the line that night. Vince says that he could make the decision, but since Cyber Sunday is interactive, everyone should be able to make that decision. Voting begins right now on wwe.com.
King Booker and Big Show leave the ring while John Cena stays in the ring. Cena notices that K-Fed is still at ringside. He tells Mr. Trendsetter to come into the ring to tell everyone who he is going to vote for so we will know who everyone else will vote for. Kevin says that he would like to see Cena’s title defended because he wants to see Cena get his ass kicked up and down the ring. Cena drops his mic and he takes a deep breath. Cena picks up his belt and he shakes Federline’s hand. Cena with an FU to Federline and then he leaves the ring. We go to commercial.
We are back and Steve-O is in the front row.
Match Number Three: Carlito versus Rob Conway
Conway attacks Carlito when Carlito enters the ring and he punches Carlito in the corner. Carlito punches and chops Conway . Carlito with a drop kick to Conway and then he punches Conway and hits a springboard back elbow. Carlito with a knee lift and clothesline to Conway . Carlito misses a charge into the corner and Conway with a rollup for a two count. Carlito with a lungblower for the three count.
Winner: Carlito
After the match, Carlito gets his apple and he spits it in Conway’s face.
Vince McMahon is walking in the back and he sees Edge and Lita. Edge talks about the announcement at Cyber Sunday. Edge has another idea about DX. Vince says that he has an idea for Cyber Sunday. Randy Orton and Edge would face Degeneration X. Edge says that he suggests the guest referee for the match. Edge says that the man needs to wield a lot of power, like Coach, Eric Bischoff, or Vince McMahon since no one commands more respect. Vince says that he will think about it. He tells Edge that he has a future in the business. We go to commercial.
We are back with the WWE 24/7 This Week In History Moment: We take a look back at Jimmy Snuka versus the Magnificent Muraco from 1983 and Snuka’s subsequent splash from the top of the cage after the match.
Todd Grisham is in the ring and he talks about the celebrities in the crowd. Todd says that two of his favorite movie stars are in the front row. He brings Steve-O and Chris Pontius into the ring. Steve-O says that they came here for two things, Kick some ass and whoop some butt. Chris says that someone is going to hell a little early. Todd asks them who their favorite superstars are.
They are interrupted by Armando Alejandro Estrada who comes to the ring. He says that he heard that Steve-O and Chris like to do some crazy things and that it is just an act. He does not think they are that crazy. Steve-O says they will do anything. Estrada asks them if they will do anything, and Steve-O says that they will do anything. Armando says that he has a friend for them to meet. His name is Umaga.
Umaga comes to the ring and Steve-O and Chris stretch. Steve-O does a back flip from the top turnbuckle. Umaga catches Steve-O and hits a spinebuster. Umaga with a clothesline and Samoan drop to Chris. Umaga with a kick to Steve-O’s chest. Umaga sees Steve-O laughing at Chris and then Umaga chops Steve-O and then he goes up top and hits a splash on Steve-O. Umaga chops and punches Steve-O and then he slams Steve-O to the mat.
Maria is in the back and she is bouncing around as she gets ready for her match and she walks into commercial.
We are back with another video package for The Marine talking about the special effects.
We are back and Three 6 Mafia are in the crowd.
Match Number Four: Maria versus Candice Michelle versus Victoria versus Torrie Wilson in a Second Chance All or Nothing Bra and Panties Invitational Challenge
Candice goes after Maria while Victoria goes after Torrie. Candice takes off Maria’s top. Torrie with a satellite head scissors to Victoria but Victoria with a merry go round side slam to Torrie and Torrie loses her top. Candice and Victoria are in the ring and Candice with an arm drag and Torrie takes off Victoria ’s pants. Maria with a rollup and she pulls off Torrie’s pants while Candice spins in the ring.
Winner: Maria
After the match, Maria celebrates in the ring while her opponents leave the ring.
Mickie James will face Melina while Lita will face Maria in the semi-finals.
It is time for the Smackdown Rebound. We go to commercial.
Match Number Five: Triple H (with Shawn Michaels) versus Randy Orton (with Edge)
Orton attacks Hunter when Hunter focuses on Edge outside the ring. Orton with an Irish whip but Hunter with clotheslines. Hunter with an Irish whip but Orton with a back elbow. Hunter throws Orton out of the ring and Orton holds his knee as we go to commercial.
We are back and Hunter punches Orton and Orton goes down as he appears to favor his knee. Hunter with a suplex and then he hits a knee drop across Orton’s forehead for a two count. Hunter punches Orton in the corner and Lita walks to the ring. Orton with a kick to Hunter and then he sends Hunter over the top rope to the floor. While the referee checks on Orton, Edge hits a DDT on Hunter. Michaels checks on Hunter and the referee sends him back to the corner. Orton rolls Hunter back into the ring. Orton with a knee drop to Hunter and a neck vice. Orton with a neck breaker to Hunter for a two count. Hunter punches Orton but Orton punches back. Orton with a power slam for a two count. Orton punches Hunter in the corner followed by kicks and more punches. Hunter punches Orton but Orton punches back. They exchange punches with Hunter getting the advantage and Orton goes down to the mat. Hunter with a high knee to Orton. Hunter kicks Orton in the corner, but Orton with a thumb to the eye. Hunter with a facebuster and then he sets up for the Pedigree but Edge gets on the apron to distract Hunter. Orton with a back breaker and both men are down. Orton waits for the RKO but Hunter pushes him off. Hunter with a spinebuster and Lita gets on the apron. Edge with a low blow while the referee was not looking. Shawn Michaels sends Edge into the ring post. Orton with a chair but Michaels with a low blow. Hunter hits Orton with the chair while Lita distracts the referee. Hunter gets the three count.
Winner: Triple H
After the match, Edge helps Orton to the back and we go to credits.
Raw Thoughts:
How funny was it to hear Triple H and Shawn Michaels outraged that someone would parody them and criticize them? I guess that would be the wrestling equivalent of the pot calling the kettle black?
Isn’t it interesting that Degeneration X would be outraged, but they still are able to ‘embarrass’ Orton in the same segment?
With Cryme Tyme defeating the Spirit Squad, does that mean that we will have Cryme Tyme ‘steal’ the tag title belts until they get a title match? I know that has not been done in a while in wrestling.
I guess Kenny has realized that the Spirit Squad angle has run its course and it is time to move on.
It is so nice to see Vince McMahon not try to use the ‘race card’ any more than he needs to. I wonder if he will remember that Shelton Benjamin has invoked it already when we now have the ‘Cryme Tyme stole King Booker’s wallet’ bit and Booker’s comment to the ‘police’ that they all look alike. I did like that Booker lost his ‘royal accent’ when he realized that his wallet was stolen. I think it would be great if he did that more often.
So the WWE gets Kevin Federline, the Carters, Steve-O, and Chris Pontius? Were Nick Lachey and Justin Timberlake unavailable?
The Intercontinental Title match was good, but I would have hoped that it would go a little longer.
I guess we found out the best way to get a face pop for John Cena. Put him in a ring with Kevin Federline. Since he was on last week’s CSI (The Original), I have now seen K-Fed two more times in the last week than any human should. Kevin Federline has the natural acting ability of many of the Diva Search contestants.
Since it was reported that Steve Austin was at the Staples Center , I thought it would have been funny if the cameras had turned to show Steve Austin wondering why he was not an option for guest referee.
It really looked like Kevin Federline was good friends with Johnny Nitro and Melina because they had a chemistry that you cannot find outside of a reality show.
Who forgot that Rob Conway was still in the WWE?
So TNA does tie ins with Jackass Number Two and incorporates it into their angles, but Raw gets two of the ‘actors’ in the movie? When Jerry Lawler said that he saw the movie, I wonder if he would have said that he saw it referenced on Impact.
Did you notice Todd wishing Steve-O luck when he left the ring before Umaga destroyed them?
I guess anyone who is not a ‘trained wrestler’ learned their lesson tonight. If you are getting your ass kicked in a segment, do not laugh. Laughter = bigger ass kicking. It reminded me of Julius Smokes in MLW when he was teaming with Norman Smiley against the SATs. He was laughing in the corner and overselling, so the SATs made a series of quick tags and unloaded with kicks in the corner.
How bad did Lillian sound when she was reading the information about the bra and panties match off the note cards with the pauses?
I guess Candice doing the ‘Go Daddy spin’ is the equivalent of Booker doing the spinaroonie in the middle of the match?
Why aren’t there ECW Rebounds on Raw and Smackdown?
I thought the Orton/Triple H match was OK when you consider that Orton injured his knee at the start of the match. I thought there was too much interference in the match. It makes the referees look bad when they are always out of position for the interference.
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