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Hour two started with the lowering of the Cell. It's time for CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman. This is the 27th Cell match in WWE history.
Punk came out first. Ryback was next. Then Heyman came out on a gimmick that uses hydraulics to elevated you up. I forget what it's called. Anyway, Heyman cut a promo about being Satan and the best in the world as he was lifted to the top of the Cell. Heyman will watching, for now, on the top of the Cell. Punk and Ryback are in it. The fans ripped on Heyman. No one from WWE came out to clarify that Heyman changed the rules and should be in the cage. Maybe I missed a reason why it was OK when I FF'd through it.
As an aside, it's time for WWE to pick either JBL or Lawler. Michael Cole can't reign them both in. They have been painful tonight. Cole is the only one who knows what he is doing. And I typed all of that because thus far Ryback is dominating and destroying Punk.
After what seemed like a lifetime of Ryback in control, Punk got a stick and came back. Gotta be honest, Ryback dominating wasn't overly interesting. Punk hit the Savage elbow for two. ... Punk went to the floor for plunder and brought in a table. Unfortunately Ryback got control and crotched him on the table, which was on it's side. ... But Punk came back with a low blow of his own. With Ryback on the table he went to the top and hit a Savage Elbow and put Ryback through the table. The fans chanted for Punk. Punk got the Kendo stick and hit Ryback and then nailed him with the GTS for the pin. Heyman is still on top of the cage. Heyman doesn't realize he is a sitting duck but Punk does. He said, "Where you gonna go?" Puk grabbed the cane and left the cage. He put the stick in his shorts, like a sword, and climbed the cage. He got to the top and pulled out the cane. Heyman had stayed in the middle of the change, holding a wire, the whole time. The sold his scared of heights so he couldn't move. That made him the aforementioned duck. Punk went to town beating him with the stick. He made the GTS gesture and then picked Heyman up. Punk hit it, on top of the cage. It was a really cool visual. Really cool. ... The match itself was OK until Punk took charge, then it got good. The after match was really cool. Hearing the fans chant Punk's name as he stood on top afterward was very cool. More spectacle than match, but really good spectacle.
In the back, Renee Young interviewed Daniel Bryan. He got the crowd to do a YES chant.
The cell is still down because they are doing "carcass removal" on Paul Heyman.
It is time for Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans. Torito is the star of the team, and they are making that very clear. Trust me. The RA came out next. Zeb did his racist thing. You know, you are in Miami so they are mostly illegal. And he isn't happy that he got gored in the butt by Torito.
I just realized that I hate when WWE puts matches that don't matter on PPVs because, in addition to them not belonging, they make the announcers turn into idiots trying to do humor. They are painful.
Anyway, Cesaro did the Big Swing on one of the Matadores. Swagger wet for the ankle lock but it didn't work. The Matadores got the finish out of pretty much nowhere. This one wasn't a PPV type match either. After the match, Zeb went in the ring and went face down in the ring with his ass in the air to be sad. They teased he would get gored by Torito. It didn't happen but Torito did clean house. This was a Vince McMahon is popping for this in the back match. 100%.
John Cena is up next!
Click to page three for more thoughts from tonight's show.
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