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Dr. Shelby is in the ring and he introduces himself because everyone has to introduce themselves. He welcomes everyone to the Anger Management Graduation Ceremony for Kane and Daniel Bryan.
Kane and Bryan go to the ring in their gowns.
Dr. Shelby wants to see how far they have come. Kane was a maniacal mask wearing monster who preferred hurting to hugging. Daniel was a tightly wound little man-child who would snap if they said anything about his goat face or that his beard looked like a hotel for rats.
Now they are calm, peaceful, and ready to graduate.
Dr. Shelby gives Kane his diploma and cap and then he does the same for Bryan. The tassel is moved to the other side so they are graduates.
Dr. Shelby says that the top student is usually declared the valedictorian and they get to talk and speak about their feelings. Shelby asks Kane and Daniel who the valedictorian should be. Kane says that Daniel should be the Valedictorian. Bryan says no and says that it should be Kane. Daniel says that Kane wants to talk about his feelings. Kane says that Daniel never had a problem shutting his mouth.
Kane and Daniel tell each other that they are the valedictorian.
Dr. Shelby freaks out and asks if a hug would make him feel better. Daniel says maybe. Kane is asked if a hug will make him feel better and he says I guess. Dr. Shelby wants everyone everywhere to hug at the same.
Daniel and Kane don’t like the idea of people glomming on their hug and they ask about Jerry and Cole. Cole and Lawler hug. Bryan wants Dr. Sampson and Justin Roberts to hug and they hug.
Kane wants three guys at ringside to hug and they appear to like it a bit too much. Daniel wants two people in the front row to hug. We go to a giant hug.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the WWE Rewind: Kaitlyn defeating Eve to become the new WWE Diva’s Champion and Eve quitting WWE.
Match Number Five: Alicia Fox versus Kaitlyn in a Non Title Match
Alicia sends Kaitlyn into the turnbuckles a few times. Kaitlyn with a kick to the knee and Alicia goes down. Kaitlyn sends Alicia to the floor and hits a baseball slide on Alicia. Kaitlyn with a shoulder tackle off the apron.
Kaitlyn returns to the ring but Alicia with a knee. Alicia tosses Kaitlyn by the hair. Alicia misses the scissors kick but she connects with a clothesline for a near fall. Alicia with a reverse chin lock. Kaitlyn with a snap mare.
Alicia misses a kick into the corner and then Kaitlyn hits a spear and gets the three count.
Winner: Kaitlyn
Paul Heyman tells CM Punk that he has a skybox for CM Punk. Paul says that he wants Punk to watch what Paul has to say. He calls it a PaulBomb.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Paul Heyman is in the ring and he tells the champ that this one is for him.
A lot of people might not know this about him. Not only is he the voice of the voice of the voice of the voice of the Voiceless. He is a friend, advocate, and advisor for the WWE Champion. Much of what CM Punk said went over the heads of many of the viewers. That is why he will act CM Punk’s interpreter. He will keep . . . it . . . simple for them.
So many think that it is fait accompli. Paul apologizes and says that many think it is a foregone conclusion that Rock will be winning the WWE Title. Vince McMahon is a tyrant who wants someone to beat CM Punk. January’s flavor of the month is The Rock.
The Rock might be concerned about what he might allegedly not have down there instead of what he has up there. Rock is focusing on Paul, not CM Punk, the longest reigning champion of the last 25 years. Just like the people, the Rock is stupid.
Rock’s music plays and he makes his way into the arena, showing that he does not care about rules. Rock shows a ticket and he makes his way to the ring.
Punk checks his imaginary watch to find out when Dwayne will be done.
Rock thanks the San Jose Police Department for the ticket.
Paul says that the ticket does not entitle him . . .
Rock interrupts Paul and tells him to get out of the ring.
Rock tells CM Punk for 428 days he has been WWE Champion. It is incredible and historic. He knows how badass and dangerous Punk is. It does not change the fact that tonight on Raw, it is the last night on Raw that he is WWE Champion.
Rock says that Punk is obsessed with how the Rock entertains the people and Rock says that he is. When it is all taken away, you have a man who will stand in the ring, outside the ring, outside the arena and he will rip Punk’s face off.
Rock says that he has waited for ten years for this shot. He says that he has earned respect over the last ten years. Rock says that he has a dream to go to the mountaintop and the promised land one more time to become champion. If you looked into the Rock’s soul like Punk says that he did, Rock promises to beat Punk at the Royal Rumble for the WWE Title. When that is done on Sunday, every man, woman, and child will be saying free at last . . . free at last . . . thank God almighty we are free at last.
Rock says that it is time to smell what he is cooking.
The lights go out and The Shield are attacking The Rock but Rock fights back for a moment. The Shield work over Rock and they get Rock up for the Three Man Power Bomb and they hit it.
Punk tells Rock he has some bad news. On top of that mountain, there is room for just one man. Punk says that you have to pay a price for your freedom. Punk says that it is cute that Rock has a dream, but you have to wake up from it. The truth is that the Great One was not great enough to beat the Best in the World.
We go to commercial.
We are back and we see the Shield’s attack on Rock.
Match Number Six: Sheamus versus Wade Barrett in a Beat The Clock Challenge Match
They lock up go around the ring. Sheamus with a side head lock take down and shoulder tackle. Barrett with a double leg take down and he applies a front face lock. Sheamus backs Barrett into the corner and gives a clean break. Barrett with a kick and we see Ziggler, AJ, and Langston watching in the back.
Sheamus with a kick and forearm followed by a punch and shoulders in the corner. Barrett with an Irish whip but Sheamus with a double sledge and he hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam for a near fall. Sheamus puts Barrett on the apron but the referee pulls Sheamus away. Barrett drops Sheamus’ arm on the top rope but Sheamus with a knee. Barrett with a clothesline that sends Sheamus over the top rope to the floor.
Barrett wants the referee to count while we go to commercial.
We are back and Barrett with a knee to the midsection and he gets a near fall. Barrett with a suplex and he gets a near fall. Barrett with a Fujiwara arm bar. Sheamus punches Barrett but Barrett kicks Sheamus in the arm. Sheamus with two running double sledges followed by a shoulder in the corner and a running knee lift.
Sheamus sends Barrett to the apron and connects with the ten forearms across the chest. Sheamus suplexes Barrett from the apron and he gets a near fall. Sheamus gets Barrett up for White Noise but Barrett gets back to his feet. Barrett with knees. Sheamus misses a Brogue Kick and Barrett with a back heel kick and super kick for a near fall.
Barrett goes to the turnbuckles for an elbow drop and he connects. We have less than two minutes to go. Barrett gets Sheamus up for Wasteland but Sheamus escapes and he gets Barrett up for White Noise and he hits it. Sheamus gets ready to pound his chest for the Brogue Kick but AJ Lee, Dolph Ziggler, and Big E Langston come to the ring and distract Sheamus.
Barrett with the Blackpool Slam for a near fall and Ziggler was ready to get in the ring to break up the cover. Barrett sets for the Bull Hammer but Sheamus with the Brogue Kick but time runs out.
No Contest
Dolph Ziggler celebrates his victory in the Beat the Clock Challenge with Langston and AJ.
We are back and Vickie Guerrero is in her office and Dolph Ziggler says that he won the Beat the Clock Challenge so he gets to pick his spot in the Royal Rumble. Dolph kisses AJ and tells her that she looks wonderful.
Dolph says that he might pick 30, but number 27 has won four times. Vickie tells Dolph that he gets to choose either number one or number two.
We take a look back at the attack on The Rock by The Shield.
CM Punk and Paul Heyman are walking in the back and he tells Punk that it is time for Rock to know his role and shut his mouth.
Vince McMahon asks Punk and Paul if they think they are clever. Punk says that they are clever but they had nothing to do with what the Shield did.
Vince says that if the Shield gets involved in Punk’s match, he will take severe consequences. Punk says that he has had nothing to do with it.
Paul suggests that cooler heads could prevail. The Shield has attacked many people. There is no evidence against CM Punk.
Vince says that if he finds evidence of Punk’s involvement, he will strip Punk of the title.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Michael Cole reminds us what Vince McMahon just said before the commercial break.
Match Number Seven: Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez and bucket) versus Tensai
Tensai with a kick and punch followed by a shoulder and forearm. Tensai with head butts in the corner followed by a hard Irish whip. Tensai goes to the turnbuckles for a Vader Bomb and then he goes up for a second one and Tensai gets a near fall. Tensai runs into boots from Del Rio and then Del Rio with a rana.
Del Rio with a German suplex and then he goes for the step up enzuigiri in the corner. Del Rio goes up top for a moonsault and he hits it and gets the three count.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
After the match, Alberto gets on the mic and he tells Big Show there will be a count of ten after their Last Man Standing. It will not be Big Show doing the counting, it will be him and it will be in Spanish.
We have our second inductee into the 2013 Class of the WWE Hall of Fame. It is Bob Backlund.
John Cena is walking in the back and he is going to talk when we get back from commercial.
We are back and John Cena makes his way to the ring.
John says that it looks like everyone had a good weekend and got to rest. The seventh day is to rest and you can do things on Sundays. Kids have a day off of school so you go out and play with your friend . . . kids don’t go outside or use the phone, they play video games.
John turns his attention to a female in the crowd and suggests that her Sunday is reliving her Saturday. John then mentions that the guy that she met is sitting over there.
Everyone does different things on Sunday, except for this Sunday. Everyone knows that this Sunday is the Royal Rumble. Everyone watching this show knows that if you win the match, you get a golden ticket to Wrestlemania.
This Sunday, Superstars can be born and history can be made. It will be an all out war. The video games will be on pause and the hangovers will have to wait until Sunday night because all eyes fall on the Royal Rumble.
On Sunday, the world will find out what he already knows. He will win the Royal Rumble.
Sheamus comes out and says that it was a bizarre and passionate speech from Cena. Sheamus says that the man who won last year will win this year.
Darren Young and Titus O’Neil interrupt Sheamus and Titus wants to know what Sheamus is talking about.
Randy Orton’s music interrupts Darren Young and he says that he is not out here to dance or talk about déjà vu. He is going to win the Royal Rumble.
Miz is the next person to come out and say that he will win the Royal Rumble.
Kane interrupts the Awesome and he comes out with his fellow graduate, Daniel Bryan. Daniel tells Kane that all of these people are arguing over who will win the Royal Rumble. Kane says that he was thinking the same thing because he will win the Royal Rumble. Daniel says that he will win.
Antonio Cesaro says that everyone is wrong because the Greatest United States Champion will win the Royal Rumble Match. He will dedicate his victory to his home away from home, the United States of America.
The 3MB come out to remind us that someone has to be eliminated during the match. Drew calls everyone in the ring delusional. Jinder says that one member of 3MB will record his name in history after winning the Royal Rumble.
More wrestlers come to the ring and we have pandemonium. People are bring thrown out of the ring, just like they will on Sunday night. We go to credits
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