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We go to the Goldman Box and Antonio Cesaro says that he has elevated the title and the entire United States. He says that he does not need the United States . . . the United States needs Antonio Cesaro.
Match Number Five: Antonio Cesaro versus Justin Gabriel
Gabriel with a waist lock but Cesaro with an elbow. Gabriel lands on his feet on a German suplex attempt but Cesaro with a lariat followed by a leap onto Gabriel’s chest. Cesaro with a forearm to the midsection but Gabriel with a chop. Cesaro with punches in the corner and then he drops Gabriel on the top turnbuckle and then he hits a knee to the midsection and sends Gabriel back to the mat.
Cesaro leaps onto Gabriel’s chest. Cesaro with knees to the chest followed by a punch to the midsection. Cesaro with a gutbuster to Gabriel followed by a waist lock. Gabriel gets to his feet but Cesaro pulls Gabriel back to the mat. Cesaro turns it into a bear hug. Gabriel with forearms to the head to escape the hold. Gabriel with a kick but Cesaro blocks it.
Gabriel with a springboard moonsault into an inverted DDT. Gabriel hits the 450 splash but Gabriel holds his ribs and that delay allows Cesaro to get to the rope to stop the count. Gabriel shows some frustration and he goes to the apron. Gabriel goes for a springboard move and Cesaro with a European uppercut. Cesaro with the Gotch Style Neutralizer for the three count.
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
We go to commercial.
Match Number Six: Kane versus Matt Striker
The bell rings and Matt says that they don’t need to do this. He is not a competitor any more. He is an announcer. He just wants an apology. He tells Kane to think about the therapy and all of the progress he has made. What would Dr. Shelby say right now? No one wants to see mindless carnage. They want to see competition.
The crowd wants some mindless carnage.
Kane wants to hug it out and Matt joins him. Matt thinks he is okay but Kane wants another hug. Kane with a bear hug followed by a choke slam for the three count.
Winner: Kane
Kane lies down next to Matt and he wants to know if he could get a word with him. He says that it was a great effort in a highly competitive match, but it was a tough loss. He wants to know how Matt is feeling.
Kane announces that he am the Tag Team Champions.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for the return of MizTV.
Miz says that if you have been living in a barn, you might have missed his guest having the audacity to challenge Miz for the Intercontinental Title. Miz’ guest this week is his opponent on WWE Main Event on Wednesday night (on Ion TV).
Miz asks Kofi if he enjoys being relevant because of him. Miz says that he will carry Kofi just like every other WWE superstar.
Kofi says that it looked like Miz was the one who needed to be carried.
Miz says that Kofi must be so proud to put in his thin envelope of his memorable achievements. They will remember him being part of forgettable tag teams and for saying ‘Boom Boom Boom’. Has Kofi main evented a Wrestlemania? Kofi will always be a ‘B’ player. He will be the guy who puts smiles on people’s faces while they remember Miz.
Kofi says that Miz is right. Maybe he needs to add some more memorable moments to his career. Like on Wednesday when he beats Miz to become the Intercontinental Champion. That will be memorable. It will be must see. He thanks Miz for the pep talk to step up his game. Maybe he will step it up tonight in a match against Miz.
Miz asks everyone if they want to see a match between him and Kofi tonight. Miz throws out a few reallys. He does not back down from a challenge and he says that Kofi is on. They will have a match tonight and the title match on Wednesday. Kofi will choke because he has maxed out. Miz says that he is the superstar while Kofi is the opening act. Nobody cares about Kofi. All Kofi is to them is a guy who says ‘Boom Boom Boom’.
Kofi with a double leg take down and he turns it into a hockey fight by pulling Miz’ jacket over his head and he punches Miz. Kofi knocks Miz to the floor from the apron.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Seven: Sheamus versus Wade Barrett in a Raw Rematch
They lock up and Sheamus backs Barrett into the corner but Barrett changes positions and gives a clean break. They lock up again and Barrett with a waist lock but Sheamus with a drop toe hold into an arm bar. Sheamus works on the arm but Barrett with punches to Sheamus. Barrett with elbows to the arm and he applies an arm bar.
Sheamus with a reversal and he works on Barrett’s arm. Sheamus uses his weight to work on the arm. Sheamus with a top wrist lock but Barrett with a punch. Sheamus blocks a hip toss and he hits a short arm clothesline. Barrett goes to the apron and Sheamus tries for the crossfaces but Barrett with a punch to stop Sheamus.
Barrett with punches to Sheamus. Barrett with a front face lock and then he sets for a pump handle slam and hits it and gets a near fall. Barrett with a reverse chin lock. Sheamus gets to his feet and he punches Barrett. Barrett with a knee followed by an Irish whip. Sheamus with a running double sledge followed by a back elbow and a fireman’s carry slam.
Barrett rolls to the floor to stop Sheamus’ momentum. Sheamus goes to the apron and he hits a shoulder tackle onto Barrett.
Big Show’s music plays and he comes out onto the stage and he has a chair. We go to commercial.
We are back and Sheamus punches Barrett and we see Show watching from the stage.
Barrett with a knee that sends Sheamus to the apron. Sheamus pulls Barrett onto the apron and then Barrett goes to the floor. Sheamus follows Barrett to the floor. Sheamus with a knee lift when Barrett goes for a shoulder. Barrett with a back heel kick that sends Sheamus to the floor.
Barrett kicks Sheamus in the ribs and then he connects with knees to the abdomen. Barrett puts Sheamus in the ropes and he connects with a crossface. He turns Sheamus around and connects with knees in the ropes. Barrett with a running boot to the head and Sheamus lays on the apron.
Barrett mocks Sheamus by pounding his chest. Barrett punches Sheamus and Sheamus goes to the floor. Barrett slams Sheamus’ head on the announce table. He returns Sheamus to the ring and he gets a near fall. Barrett with a version of a camel clutch but Sheamus is able to get to his knees and to his feet. Sheamus with punches and then he hits the uranage back breaker.
Both men are down. Sheamus with the two running double sledges followed by a running shoulder into the corner and the running knee lift. Sheamus with a running power slam for a near fall. Sheamus sees Barrett on the apron and he connects with the ten crossfaces to Barrett’s chest.
Sheamus suplexes Barrett back into the ring from the apron and he gets a near fall. Show paces on the stage while Barrett Irish whips Sheamus sternum first followed by a clothesline. Barrett with an elbow drop from the turnbuckles for a near fall. Barrett gets Sheamus up for Wasteland but Sheamus escapes. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and Barrett hits the Bossman Slam for a near fall.
Sheamus with a kick to Barrett and then Sheamus is sent to the apron. Sheamus goes up top but Barrett charges towards him. Sheamus with a single leg sweep and he puts Barrett in the Cloverleaf. Sheamus releases the hold and then he gets Barrett on his shoulders but Barrett with elbows. Barrett pushes Sheamus towards the ropes and Show pulls the ropes down and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: Sheamus (by disqualification)
After the match, Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Barrett and he clotheslines Show over the top rope.
It is time to take another look back at CM Punk’s non-announcement of his opponent at Hell in a Cell.
Vince McMahon is on the phone and he says either way he wins.
John Cena is in the office and Vince asks him what the story is on the arm. Cena says that he is not a doctor and he wants to know the last time that Vince listened to a doctor. Vince went out anyway because that is where he belongs.
Cena says that he has felt better, but he has felt worse. Cena says that he belongs out there and the choice is Vince’s.
Vince says that he will take it under consideration.
Match Number Eight: Eve Torres versus Layla El for the Divas Title
They lock up and they roll around the mat while holding on to the collar and elbow. Layla pushes Eve and Eve pushes back. Eve with a kick and side head lock and take down. Layla tries for a head scissors but Eve pushes the leg away. Layla with forearms but Eve with a knee and then she applies an arm bar.
Layla with kicks to Eve and a wrist lock. Eve sends Layla through the ropes to the floor and then Eve follows after Layla. Eve sends Layla back into the ring and gets a near fall. Eve with a snap mare and kick to the upper chest and she gets a near fall.
Eve gets another near fall. Eve with a figure four head scissors as she rolls through. Eve turns over and she drives Layla’s head into the mat. Eve holds on to the ropes and she releases the hold. Eve chokes Layla in the ropes.
Eve with a forearm but Layla with kicks. Layla misses a round kick but hits another kick for a near fall. Layla with a clothesline and then she takes Eve down by the hair. Layla with a triple jump cross body for a near fall. Eve pushes Layla and then Eve runs Layla into the turnbuckles. Layla with a boot to the head but Eve kicks Layla in the knee and gets the three count, but Layla had her foot on the rope.
Winner: Eve Torres
We go to a feature on WWE’s involvement with the Nothing but Nets program.
We go to commercial.
Kane asks Daniel if he saw what he did to Matt Striker. Bryan says that he was busy thinking about Kane laughing at him. Kane says it was funny. Bryan says that it was not. They go back and forth and it is both Duck and Rabbit Season.
Daniel says that he has a grand idea. If Kane thought it was so funny that Daniel got choke slammed by the Big Show, why doesn’t Kane face Big Show next week. Bryan reminds Kane that he am the Tag Team Champions.
Vince McMahon is staring at Ryback and he thanks him for helping him out last week. Vince wants to know if Ryback realizes what people say about him. They are saying that he is heartless, merciless, and cold blooded. He would go through the proverbial brick wall to get what he wants. They are saying that he is unstoppable. Vince asks Ryback what he says.
Ryback tells Vince ‘Feed Me Punk’
Vince says that he will keep that under consideration.
Before our next match, we are told that Rey Mysterio is under the weather so the finals will be next week.
We are back and the Myld Stallyns enter a bar and Slater, Mahal, and McIntyre take the stage. Slater says that they are music. They ar told to leave.
Match Number Nine: Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow versus Epico and Primo (with Rosa Mendes)
Primo and Epico attack Cody and Sandow and they send Cody to the floor. Sandow goes to the floor and he Cody and Sandow complain about the actions of Epico and Primo.
The match officially starts and Primo with a drop kick to Rhodes for a near fall. Primo with a shoulder and Epico tags in and Epico with a drop kick for a near fall. Epico with a suplex and Primo with a slingshot senton for a near fall.
Rhodes with an Irish whip but Primo moves and he gets a rollup. Sandow distracts Primo and Cody attacks Primo from behind and kicks him in the solar plexus. Sandow tags in and he punches Primo. Sandow with shoulders in the corner. Sandow with a snap mare and a reverse chin lock.
Primo with an arm drag but Sandow keeps Primo from making the tag. Cody tags in and he kicks Primo. Cody with a knee and punch to the head. Sandow tags back in and he stomps on the head. Sandow with a side Russian leg sweep and he floats into the Elbow of Disdain and he gets a near fall. Sandow with a chin lock and then he punches Primo.
Sandow with a knee drop for a near fall. Rhodes tags in and Sandow with a snap mare and Rhodes with a running kick to the head for a near fall. Cody with a kick to the ribs and he keeps Primo from making the tag to Epico. Rhodes with a snap mare and punch to the head. Primo blocks a kick and he punches Cody. Rhodes sends Primo into his corner and Sandow tags back in.
Sandow chokes Primo in the ropes and stretches his face. Primo with a kick and punch but Sandow with a drop toe hold to keep Primo from getting to his corner. Rhodes tags back in and Sandow with a front face lock and Cody with a kick. Rhodes with a side head lock and punch to the head. Rhodes with a clothesline for a near fall.
Primo tries to crawl between the legs but Rhodes stops him. Sandow tags back in and he connects with a double sledge to the back and he gets a near fall. Primo makes the tag and Epico with punches to Sandow. Epico with a flying clothesline followed by a drop kick and a belly-to-back suplex that he holds on for a series of three. Rhodes breaks up the cover and Primo gets involved. Cody sends Primo to the floor and Epico sends Rhodes to the floor.
Sandow with a head butt to the midsection. Epico misses a cross body and Sandow with the Terminus for the three count.
Winners: Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
After the match, Damien does the cartwheel of facial hair awesomeness.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Ten: Miz versus Kofi Kingston in a Main Event Preview Match
Kofi with kick to Miz in the corner and the referee pulls him out of the way. Miz with punches and Kofi with a double leg take down and he punches Miz. Miz goes to the floor and Kofi follows. Kofi with a clothesline outside the ring. Kofi punches Miz and misses a springboard move but he does not miss with the flying boot to the head. Kofi with kicks to Miz’ ribs. Kofi chokes Miz in the corner.
Miz hot shots Kofi onto the turnbuckles followed by a clothesline. Miz kicks Kofi in the back. Kofi kicks Miz and follows with forearms. MIz with an Irish whip and then he hits the Awesome clothesline. Miz goes up top and hits a double sledge to the head for a near fall.
Miz with a reverse chin lock. Kofi with punches but Miz with a knee and he tries for a belly-to-back suplex but Kofi counters with a lateral press. Kofi with a forearm and sunset flip for a near fall. Miz with the Reality Check for a near fall.
Kofi with punches and he hits a belly-to-back suplex and both men are down. Kofi with some Steamboat chops followed by the Superman punch. Kofi with a lap around the ring and then he wants to hit the Boom Drop but Miz gets to the apron. Kofi with a kick to the chest and Miz avoids a suplex and he tries for the Skull Crushing Finale. Kofi counters and tries for the SOS. Miz comes off the ropes and Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise for the three count.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
The medical staff checks on Miz after the match.
Vince McMahon walks in the back and we go to commercial.
We are back and the official contract signing table and chairs are in the ring. It is time for the McChoice for Hell in a Cell. Are you on Team Team Ryback or Team Team John Cena?
Vince has the contract in his hand for the WWE Championship match. Vince brings out CM Punk since we definitely know he will be in the match. Punk is accompanied by the official WWE Championship Belt Holder for CM Punk, Paul Heyman.
Vince introduces the man who has an insatiable appetite for aggression. He brings out Ryback.
Vince also brings out John Cena.
Vince says that he has been thinking about this all week because he knew that Punk wouldn’t have the grapefruits to make up his own mind.
Punk interrupts Vince and calls him an egomaniac. Punk says that he beat Vince so bad he knocked a few screws loose. Vince is half a cripple and he is trying to compensate by taking away his chance to pick his opponent.
Punk signs the contract and he says that he knows that Vince will do whatever he wants and then he will break his opponent.
Vince says that if Punk had accepted Cena’s challenge, we wouldn’t be here.
Punk says that he is not surprised that Vince has Cena’s back and he calls them egomaniacs.
John Cena mentions that CM Punk has been champion for 330 days. He respects the achievement but he tells Punk to shut the hell up.
Vince tells everyone to shut up.
Vince says that CM Punk will face. . .
Cena interrupts Punk and he says that he would like nothing more than to face CM Punk at Hell in a Cell. He looks at Ryback and wonders if he cares about the WWE Championship because he just wants to kick someone’s ass. He says that the way that CM Punk has been talking, he should be getting his ass kicked.
Vince has an easy decision because over the next two weeks, CM Punk will be consumed by three words . . . FEED ME MORE.
Cena gets the people to chant for Ryback.
Ryback signs the contract and it is official.
Ryback and Punk stand across the table from each other and Punk says something to Ryback and Ryback slams Punk’s head into the table.
Ryback wants to be fed more and he gets Punk up for the Marching Muscle Buster as we go to credits.
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