WWE NEW YEAR'S REVOLUTION
by Mike Johnson
New Year's Revolution opened with a cool video of the Elimination Chamber and a dragon flying out of it. Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross welcomed everyone to the sold out PPV. They talked about the Chamber with Ross calling it "Satan's Structure."Â They introduced it to the spanish announce team.
WWE World Tag Team champions Eugene & William Regal vs. Christian & Tyson Tomko
Interesting to note that Lillian Garcia did the ring announcements in English, which surprised me. Eugene came out dressed like Hulk Hogan, with a red and yellow T-shirt and headband. Jim Ross said that the Hulkster was one of Eugene's favorites and he was paying homage him.
The match started with Regal and Tyson. The crowd was really hot, chanting, "Christian sucks."Â Christian controlled Regal with several takeovers, but Regal came back with a quick cover. Regal worked him over with a headlock, but Christian rolled it over to a near fall. Regal tagged in Eugene who gave Christian a wedgie. He did Hogan's poses, followed by the Honkytonk Man's dance. Eugene did the Lady of the Lake and when Christian tried to drop an elbow, he moved. Christian hit the mat and Eugene hit several JYD-style headbutts on all fours.
Tyson Tomko tagged in and took over with his power, choking Eugene down. Eugene went outside to slap the fan's hands. The heels followed him and he scampered under the ring. They jumped in the ring to wait for him on the other side but he snuck in from behind and rolled up Christian for a near fall. He hit the airplane spin on Christian, but Tomko hit a chokeslam.
Christian and Tomko began working over Eugene, with tags in and out. Eugene began hulking up, which the crowd got into bigtime. Eugene made the hot tag to Regal, who cleaned house on Tomko, then tossed Christian into the ring. Tomko took Regal down and mounted him, hitting a series of rights. Regal's nose began bleeding. Christian locked a chinlock, but Regal tried to bridge out. Regal fought back but before he could make the tag, Christian took him out of the corner. They continued to work over Regal.
Regal finally made the tag to Eugene, who despite hurting his leg on a legdrop, was able to roll up Tomko for the pin. Your winners and still WWE World Tag Team champions, William Regal and Eugene!
The doctor and trainer were checking on Eugene's knee after the match.
They showed footage from earlier today with Christy Hemme looking hot in a bikini at a pool.
Backstage, Christian and Tyson Tomko were backstage upset when they came across Edge. Edge said that he had an idea, but Christian said the last time they were together, Edge jumped him from behind. He ordered Tomko to take out Edge, but Edge said that if he did that, he'd never hear Edge's idea and know how he could be World champion. They walked off together.
They aired a video feature on WWE Women's champion Lita vs. Trish Stratus.
WWE Women's champion Lita vs. Trish Stratus
The crowd chanted Lita's name at the bell. The crowd, as expected, is really into everything. They tied up, with Trish forcing Lita into the corner, until referee Jack Doan separated the two. Lita took down Trish with a heel trip, but Trish grabbed the ropes. Trish kicked Lita in the gut and tried to manhandle her but Lita tossed her to the floor. Lita came off with a Lou Thesz Press-esque move from the apron the floor, clutching at her knee. With Lita hurt, Lita jumped on her and began peppering her with rights. Trish went for the cover, but Lita kicked up at two. Lita tried to get to her feet, but fell into Stratus. Stratus began working over Lita's knee with kicks. She got to her feet but Stratus kicked right at the knee, and Lita went down again. They showed several replays of the Thesz Press. Stratus evaded a DDT and hit the Chick Kick for the clean pin.
Your winner and new WWE Women's champion Trish Stratus!
After the match, trainers looked over Lita as Trish gloated and rubbed her championship. The referees helped her walked out of the ring.
They showed Chris Jericho preparing for the main event.
They showed Maria at the pool "earlier today."Â
Edge was in Eric Bischoff's office. Bischoff said that he was confused by the fact that Edge didn't want a shot at the World championship. Edge said that he doesn't want to give up a shot at the belt, but with Shawn Michaels as the referee, he will screw Edge the first chance that he has. He says that he doesn't want to put his body on the line in the most dangerous match in WWE when he doesn't have a shot at the belt. He suggests putting Christian in and whoever wins the belt will defend it against him at Raw. Bischoff says that the show has started and he has sponsors and the fans to answer to, so he's not changing the match. Edge said that he doesn't care about them, but himself, but Bischoff won't hear it.
As Edge left the office, he ran into Shawn Michaels. Michaels promised that he only had two things to do in the Chamber “call for submissions and count a three count. He said that he gives Edge his word that he will call it down the middle. He said that he won't get involved unless he gets physically provoked, but should the moment come, it will be his pleasure to count Edge out for a three count.
WWE Intercontinental champion Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven
They showed a clip of Maven pinning Benjamin in a six man a few weeks back on Raw. Maven is out second, after the champion, for some weird reason. They announced that Eugene has a dislocated kneecap.
Maven and Benjamin locked up, with Maven stalling like his last name was Zbyszko. The crowd was really on Maven. Maven played off the fans and grabbed the ring mic. He told the crowd that he didn't know what they were saying. Maven said that he didn't know how many of them spoke English, so he was going to speak really slow. He told the fans that he can't concentrate while they were making so much gibberish. He told the fans to shut their mouths in Spanish then tried to walk out, saying he'll wrestle Shelton in the United States of America. Maven finally charged back to the ring where Benjamin took him down and scored the three count.
Your winner and still WWE Intercontinental champion, Shelton Benjamin!
After the match, Maven got back on the ring mic and told Benjamin to return to the ring as "that didn't count."Â He said that he wanted a rematch right now. He said that it appears that the WWE now has two Women's champions, since he wouldn't return to the ring. The crowd chanted, "Hey hey hey, Goodbye" to Maven. He said that both he and Trish have two things in common- both have a title and neither have any B****s.
Shelton jumped back in the ring and they rang the bell. Shelton hit the T-Bone suplex and scored the pin.
Your winner and still WWE Intercontinental champion (yet again) Shelton Benjamin!
They showed Chris Benoit preparing for the Elimination Chamber.
They showed footage of a topless Christy Hemme, on her stomach, getting rubbed down.
Jim Ross said that Jerry Lawler was getting ready for his match with Muhammed Hussan and they went to video footage of the attack on Lawler and Jim Ross on this past week's Monday Night Raw.
Todd Grisham interviewed Muhammad Hussan and Khosorov Daivari backstage. Hussan said that the footage they just showed was biased and one part of the story. He said that they didn't show the Lawler insulting them and Ross telling them to leave their own country. He said that last week, Ross and Lawler got what they deserved. Grisham asked if he was nervous about his first PPV, but Hussan said that he was excited to be wrestling in Puerto Rico because if anyone could relate to being treated as second class citizens, it's the commonwealth of Puerto Rico. He said that he was very let down to see that they were treated the same way they are treated like everyone else, as they were detained at the airport for three hours when they arrived, their hotel reservations weren't there when they arrived and Daivari's wallet was stolen. Hussan said that his personal Revolution will have just begun tonight. Daivari closed the interview speaking in Farsi.
Jerry Lawler (with Jim Ross) vs. Muhammad Hussan (with Khosorov Daivari)
The crowd chanted for Lawler at the bell. There was no commentary for the match. The crowd chanted "Puerto Rico" in defense of Hassan's comments earlier. They locked up and Hassan tossed Lawler back. They locked up again and Hassan slammed Lawler. He hit several more slams on Lawler, who rolled out of the ring. Lawler came back with a clothesline, but Hassan retreated to the floor. They menaced Jim Ross, who wouldn't back down. Lawler jumped out of the ring behind Hassan and clocked him. Back in the ring, Hassan took down Lawler. Lawler rolled up Hassan but the referee was distracted by Daivari. Hassan dropped a knee on the back of Lawler's head. Hassan locked on a Camel Clutch. Well, the rest of the show seems like its a 1980s throwback, why not this one too? Lawler began fighting back with punches to the stomach, but Hassan overpowered him and locked in on once again. Daivari called Ross an "Oklahoma slob."Â
Lawler broke free but Hassan locked on a Cobra Clutch. Daivari was working really hard at ringside. The crowd started chanting "Boring" as Hassan continued to beat Lawler in the corner. The strap came down and Lawler made his comeback with a few punches and a dropkick. Lawler came off the ropes with a fistdrop, but only got a two count. Lawler covered again but Daivari put Hassan's foot on the ropes. Jim Ross cashed Daivari around the ring. He scampered through, with Lawler going after him. The distraction allowed Hassan to hit a one armed DDT for the pin and the win.
Your winner, Muhammed Hassan!
They aired a commercial for the ECW PPV on Fanatix.
Todd Grisham asked Batista about his chances in the Elimination Chamber. As he was about to answer, Randy Orton jumped in and said he was going to ask the questions and put Batista on the spot he asked if Batista was going to go on his own or help Triple H's cause. He said that Triple H doesn't care about anyone but himself and the World title and that's why he formed Evolution in the first place. He repeated his question to Batista. Batista said that he should stop worrying about what he's going to do to Triple H and more about what's Batista is going to do to Orton. He said that if he gets his chance to win the World title tonight, he's taking it.
They aired a Wrestlemania recall on Shawn Michaels winning the WWF championship at Wrestlemania XII from Bret Hart.
Jim Ross said that tonight they didn't get the job done and he hoped that Jerry Lawler would be back with them shortly. Coach instead joined him at the announcer's table. Coachman congratulated him on his loss.
They aired a video feature on Kane vs. Gene Snitsky.
Kane vs. Gene Snitsky
Snitsky and Kane began brawling at the bell. Kane backed him into a corner, hitting several uppercuts and a slam. Kane choked Snitsky. He tried to ram him into the turnbuckles, but Snitsky fought back. Kane powerslammed Kane. Snitsky removed the mats and tried to slam Kane but was backdropped on them. Kane came off the top but Snitsky kicked him in the gut as he came off the top. Snitsky began battering Kane. Snitsky worked over Kane's arm at the ringpost, then slammed him in the center of the ring. Snitsky locked in a bearhug. Kane finally came back with a series of rights and a chokeslam, but Snitsky threw it off and slammed him. Kane sat up but Snitsky kicked him down. Kane kept sitting up but was kicked down. Snitsky went outside and chased away Lillian Garcia to grab a steel chair. He charged Kane with it, but Kane hit the big boot. Kane tossed Snitsky back in the ring. Snitsky was tossed into the corner and peppered with punches and elbows. He whipped Snitsky into a corner and hit a running clothesline, followed by a sidewalk slam. Kane measured Snitsky and hit a big boot. Kane came off the top rope with a clothesline. Snitsky fought back with elbows and hit the worst Hot Shot in history. I think Eddie Gilbert just rolled his eyes in the heavens. Kane and Snitsky both went for the chokeslam and each tried to overpower the other. Snitsky kicked Kane in the gut then bit him on the ear. I kid you not. Kane finally hit the tombstone for the three count.
Your winner, Kane!
Jerry Lawler returned to the commentary table.
We went back to the pool where the Divas all undressed and jumped in the pool. Simon Dean pushed a chubby guy into a pool. All the divas had a chicken fight, sitting on top of the WWE stars' shoulders like Val Venis and Hurricane, including Rosey who was swimming in his gear and mask. I don’t know why but this reminded me of some demented Muppet Show sketch. Christy and Rosey won the chicken fight.
They aired a video feature on the Elimination chamber match.
The Chamber lowered to the ring.
Backstage, Triple H confronted Batista and asked if he heard Batista right because they had gone over it again and again. Batista said that Ric Flair and Hunter taught him never to let his opponents know what he is thinking, and he wasn't going to give Randy Orton his strategy. He said that he would have Triple H's back, unless Triple H was eliminated before he got into the match. He said if that happens, nothing will keep him from winning the World championship.
Eric Bischoff came to the ring and said that he wanted to introduce one of his greatest inventions, the Elimination Chamber. Yeah, this is right up there with the NWO and Nitro. He said that one of the next six superstars would become the new WWE World champion and welcome everyone to New Year's Revolution. Hey Eric, the show started almost two hours ago!
The Rules of the Match - Two competitors start and at the end of every five minutes, a new competitor is added. You can be eliminated via pinfall or submission at any point until they are down to the new WWE World champion.
Shawn Michaels was introduced first, coming out in his referee's garb.
Everyone made their entrance and we began with Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho. Jericho rode Benoit to the mat, but Benoit reversed it into a hammerlock. Benoit rode Jericho to the mat, but Jericho escaped. They locked up again, with Benoit getting the better of Jericho with chops, running him into the turnbuckles. Jericho fired back with chops of his own. Jericho charged Benoit, who put his boot up. Benoit went for the Sharpshooter, but was rolled up by Jericho. He turned that into a Walls of Jericho attempt. Benoit hit a German suplex and went for the Crippler Crossface. Benoit began nailing Jericho with punches. Benoit came off the ropes for a clothesline but was hit with one instead. Jericho hit a back suplex for a two count. Benoit hit a superplex off the top, with Benoit landing on his head.
The fans counted down...and Triple H joined the match.
Triple H joined the match and cleaned house on both men as they were recovering from the superplex. Triple H tossed Benoit into the steel cage several times. He tossed Jericho into the chains as well. Benoit was busted open bigtime. Triple H tossed a bloodied Benoit into the chamber. Triple H went for the Pedigree, but Jericho attacked him. Triple H went for the Pedigree on Jericho, who backdropped him outside of the ring into the steel. The crowd chanted, “Y2J.†Jericho suplexed Triple H into the ring. Benoit came back and began chopping Jericho. Benoit charged and dropped and elbow on Jericho. Benoit hit a swinging neckbreaker.
The fans chanted down and Edge joined the match.
Edge began hitting spears on everyone, nearly getting the pin on Triple H. Shawn Michaels didn't change his count because Edge was involved. Edge began beating down everyone. Edge backdropped Triple H, but Jericho kicked Edge. Jericho scored a two count on Triple H. Edge was tossed out of the ring to the steel. Jericho turned to Edge, who raked his eyes. Jericho was catapulted into the Chains of the chamber. Triple H hit a running knee on Edge. He went for a Pedigree on Edge, but Edge escaped and catapulted Triple H into a beam on the chamber. Edge came off the top rope with a clothesline on Benoit, getting a two count. Jericho got to his feet, all bloody. Benoit went for the Crippler Crossface, but Edge worked on his cut forehead. Edge hit a baseball slide kick on Benoit. Jericho hit a running enziguiri on Edge for a two count.
Triple H got to his feet and was nailed by Jericho. Triple H hit a spinebuster. Triple H was busted open from the nose. He went for the pin but Jericho kicked up at two. Triple H hit a pedigree on Jericho but everyone was down and out.
The fans chanted down and Randy Orton joined the match.
Orton slammed Edge's head into the chamber and came off the top with a cross bodyblock on Triple H. Orton began kicking and beating down Triple H and Edge, but not Benoit and Jericho, which Jerry Lawler pointed out. Orton tossed Triple H back into the ring. He hit the RKO on Jericho, and went to hit it on Benoit. Benoit countered it and locked in the Crippler Crossface. Triple H stood in front of Orton, taunting him to tap out. Benoit realized it and clubbed Triple H, locking on the Sharpshooter. Orton recovered and hit the RKO on Benoit. Great exchange.
Edge went to spear Orton, who ducked and Shawn Michaels was hit instead. Edge speared Orton, but there was no Michaels to make the cover. Edge slapped Michaels out of anger but he hit Sweet Chin Music on Edge in return. Jericho hit the Lionsault for the pinfall.
Edge has been eliminated.
Benoit hit German suplexes on Jericho, Orton, and Triple H. Benoit went to the top rope, then to the top of one of the chambers, hitting a flying headbutt off the top. Jericho locked on the Walls of Jericho at the same time Benoit locked on the Crippler Crossface.
The fans chanted down and Batista joined the match.
Batista joined the match, after a goof with the chamber door, and rescued Triple H. He ended up face to face with Triple H but before we got to see whether they would get physical or not, Benoit and Jericho attacked them. Batista press slammed Jericho and tossed him out of thje ring, where they destroyed a camera man who was shooting inside the chamber. Batista choked Orton in the air, until Benoit clipped his knee from behind. Benoit and Orton worked over Batista. Jericho tried to roll up Orton for a two count. The referees helped the cameraman out. Triple H nailed a knee to the head of Orton. Jericho bulldogged Triple H into the chamber. Benoit shoved Batista facefirst into the Chamber. Triple H was now bleeding a gusher. Batista began choking down Benoit with his boot. Benoit began firing back with chops. Batista hit a spinebuster on Benoit. Batista powerbombed Jericho on Benoit, then covered Benoit for the pin.
Chris Benoit has been eliminated.
Orton and Triple H battled outside the ring on the steel. Jericho chopped away at Batista. Batista caught Jericho and slammed him down, then went for the powerbomb. He powerbombed Jericho bigtime with a sitdown bomb and scored the pin.
Chris Jericho has been eliminated.
Triple H catapulted Randy Orton into the chamber, busting him open. Triple H gave Batista the thumbs up and clotheslined Orton back into the ring. Batista held Orton for Triple H to slap him. Batista watched as Triple H beat on Orton. Batista hits a powerslam on Orton, who kicked up at two. Triple H hit the spinebuster for a two count. Triple H picked up Orton, then measured and hit a running clothesline for yet another two count.
Batista continued to work over Orton. Orton blocked a shot from each and tried to battle back against both Triple H and Batista. He went for the RKO but Triple H kicked him off into Batista. Batista went for the powerbomb, but Orton hit him low then hit an RKO for the pin.
Batista has been eliminated.
The crowd booed the elimination. Triple H and Orton continued to go back and forth. Orton hit an RKO. Ric Flair tried to hit the ring but was stopped by Shawn Michaels. While Michaels was distracted, Batista clotheslined Orton and left him laying. The crowd chanted Batista's name as he exited the Arena. Triple H picked up Orton and hit the Pedigree.
Triple H scored the pin.
Randy Orton has been eliminated.
Your winner and new WWE World champion Triple H. Batista put Triple H on his shoulders after the match and Evolution celebrated.
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