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ADAM CARDOZA REPORTING:
Alex Colon's Planet Death
4/10/21 - 3pm
Tampa, FL - Streaming on FITE.tv
Kevin Gil & Nick gage are on commentary. Emil Jay is announcing but Kit Osbourne is out to say HE will start this show. He deserves it more than anyone, even Nick Gage. Like in No Peace Underground, he’s staging a sit-in until someone comes out to fight him. MARKUS CRANE, back from brain surgery says Nick Gage, is here to deal with this problem.
Match 1: Markus Crane vs Kit Osbourne
Kit breaks the first tubes on the stomach and face of Crane. Markus is laughing. He loves this as the blood starts flowing. Crane with a powerslam into the broken glass and Osbourne is immediately pinned. Crane puts an exclamation point on it with a lawn dart into a door. OW.
Winner: Markus Crane
Match 2: SHLAK vs. Nolan Edward (Lighttube Bundle Deathmatch)
Slugfest right out of the gate. Light tube to the face and SHLAK immediately rolls out. SHLAK take more tubes, gets his own and tortures Nolan in the glass. Carving the kid up. Nolan’s bleeding and swarming with punches. SHLAK to the top and a lighttube leg lariat. SHLAK’s bloody well now too. SHLAK punches a tube bundle into the heart of Edward. Edward escapes and hits a axe kick. SHLAK with a light tube body splash and running elbow. Nick Gage is sounding impressed with the growth of SHLAK’s skills in 2021. Nolan drops SHLAK face first into the second buckle (plus a tube). Nolan carving SHLAK’s forehead with broken glass. Nolan’s got chairs, set up back to back. SHLAK with an olympic slam into the glass. SHLAK stacking up tube bundles across the chairs. Nolan throws a tube through the big man’s head. Nolan gets caught and SHLAK powerbombs Edward through the tubes for the win. Brutal. Gage thought Nolan did a good job and be proud.
Winner: SHLAK
Match 3: Damon Spriggle vs Ricky Noren vs Orin Veidt (Panes of Glass Deathmatch)
YO THERE’S A KNIFE BOARD IN THIS RING. IYKYK. They have a pile of gusset plates and are taking turns slapping them into each other. Everyone’s bleeding bad and trading chops. Ricky is an artist? He rubs a canvas on Spriggle’s chest to make a new masterpiece. Spriggle hits a powerbomb on Veidt through a pane of glass. That knife board is menacing. Noren with a senton through a pane of glass that Gage calls him out for not actually hitting Veidt. Noren with a pair of steak knives and working Veidt’s forehead while Spriggle in with a chair shot. Viedt is a bloody mess but hits an assault driver through a pane of glass to Spriggle on Noren to get the pin. Christ. Gage hated on poor Ricky Noren for looking too much like RSP. But yeah, we understand.
Winner: Orin Veidt
Match 4: Mad Man Pondo vs. Matthew Justice
Justice comes right at Pondo during his entrance, crossbody out of the ring. Justice sets up door on chairs. Pondo blasting Justice with a stop sign. He staples a dollar to Justice’s back and shoulder. Justice throws a barbed wire board. He staples a dollar to Pondo’s cheek. And another. Justice collecting dollars for more staples. Pondo is mad and throws a trash can into Justice’s face. Battling around the outer edge off the venue. Pondo bounced off those NEFT vodka barrels. Justice finds a pile of doors and sets it on the barrels. He lays Pondo out on it. Justice going to the balcony.......splash from the balcony to Pondo through the table! Justice sets up more barrels on a door. NEFT must have paid a bunch for this sponsorship. XD Pondo working his way back to his feet while Justice is in his face. Pondo with a stop sign to the head. Pondo DVD’s Justice out of the ring through the barrels and door. OW. Justice is up fast and throws a cinder block & sledgehammer in. another stop sign shot. Cinder block put over Justice’s head and Pondo smashes it with the sledgehammer. Justice is down for the three count. OH JESUS. O_O
Match 5: Jimmy Lloyd & Jason Gory vs. G-Raver & Brandon Kirk
We got to the gussets early. Kirk blasting with light tubes. Gory fishhooks Kirk WITH AN ACTUAL HOOK. That’s novel! Gory with a subset bomb to Kirk through a chair. Lloyd moonsault. Gory 450. G-Raver hit a senton tot break the pin. G’Raver gets the tattoo needles. Gory biting the needles away....but G-Raver stabs the needles into his skull and kicks them out. Lloyd gets DDT’d. G-Raver sets up Gory on a pane of glass.....Lloyd cuts it off...but eats double knees through the pane. Gory with a destroyer to G-Raver almost gets the pin but Kirk smacks him with a door and sends him through the ropes through a door and light tubes. On the other side, G-Raver dives out at Lloyd, who hits him with a weedwhacker. OW. Kirk and Lloyd face to face, Lloyd powerbombs him through a tube of light tubes. Lloyd hits a tombstone and Kirk is down for the three.
Winners: Jimmy Lloyd & Jason Gory
Match 6: Eric Ryan (w/ Bobby Beverly) vs. MASADA (Cinder Block and Skewers Deathmatch)
MASADA out wrestling Ryan early, looking to avenge his loss to another 44OH member, Atticus Cogar. MASADA with a bulldog to a cinder block. Ryan is bloodied up and they are fighting in the crowd. Back in to the ring, trading forearms and MASADA goes low. Ryan with headbutts and tears at the back. Cinder block shot to the ribs. He sets up a cinder block in the nethers....and dropkicks them. OW. Kick out! Ryan smashes blocked into rubble in the center of the ring, sweeps the leg of MASADA but misses a senton to the rocks. Powerbomb to the rocks. Ryan with a powerbomb of his own to the rubble. MASADA working a submission, Bobby Beverly interfering to distract the ref. Ryan comes in with the skewers, he stabs Beverley. MASADA digs them in. Ryan gets the same treatment and MASADA kicks a chair into his face. Bobby breaks up the pin agains and hits the ref. Greg Iron has arrived as well. And here’s Atticus Cogar....he’s saving MASADA? No, he wants to do the green skewers himself. Effy just showed up...he reminds 44OH that RSP has left them. High and dry....and he’s brought some more of the Second Gear Crew...It’s Mance Warner & Spider Nate Webb! This is now a 6-man street fight!
Winner: No contest?
Match 7: 44OH (Atticus Cogar, Bobby Beverly & Greg Iron) vs Second Gear Crew (Effy, Mance Warner & Spide Nate Webb)
A flurry of light tubes and beatings send 44OH on the retreat. This is going all over the venue. Bobby getting heated with a tack bat. Warner carving with a light tube. Cogar and Effy trading wild punches. Effy eats a snap dragon and rolls up to a big boot. Iron kicks Webb in the smaller spider. Webb chunks him through a door. Bobby and Mancer have a seated bar fight. 44OH takes control. Mancer takes the skewers of Cogar. Effy trying to fight them all. Cogar with an air raid crash to Webb through a door. Effy and his b**** Iron are trading pin attempts. Iron wants a powerbomb but Effy sweeps the legs and stacks the pin for three! Crazy street fight here.
Winners: Second Gear Crew
44OH attacking Effy post match but AJ Gray is here for his match and ready to back up his SGC friends. 44OH doesn’t want any TRUTH in their life. Gray was supposed to face AKIRA (who is out due to Covid)....AJ Gray Open Challenge is now! Hit the Music! Conor Claxton is here!
Match 7: AJ Gray vs. Conor Claxton
Claxton with a running back elbow flattens Gray. Conor gives chase but Gray landing shots around the ring. Claxton uses a staple gun like brass knuckles to deck Gray. Claxton wants some dollars to staple to AJ. Gray with a gut kick and staples a dollar to the head. Fighting and beating Conor on the barricade. Back in the ring, Claxton eats a light tube and AJ carves him up. First with a light tube and then with a barbed wire bat. Claxton decks Gray with a vinyl record. Gray eats a bundle of tubes. CONOR CLAXTON STAPLE GUNS AJ GRAY’S MOUTH TO THE TURNBUCKLE WHAT THE F***. Gray is mad. Falcon arrow to garbage can. AJ Gray unpacks some hypodermic needles...and stabs them through Conor’s hands and sticks him to the mat while he gets beat with a chair. Claxton throwing bombs on the fire up. Gray with a falcon arrow through a barbed wire board and Claxton is down for the three. Some horrific s*** in here. I hate neeeeeeedles so muuuuuuuch. Wow.
Winner: AJ Gray
We are setting up a LOT of hardware around and in the ring for this main event. Light tubes in the ropes, Bundles around the ring, glass panes in the corners. The winner of this match is going to be awarded the new GCW Ultraviolent Championship.
Main Event: Alex Colon vs. Lucky 13 – Danny Havoc Tribute Match - For the Inaugural GCW Ultraviolent Championship
We start going through the light tubes early. Lucky bleeding from the back. Battle to the top, Colon gets thrown through a glass and chains structure to the concrete. Horrific fall. Colon isn’t dead though. Double stomp to 13’s chest and light tubes. Lucky getting blasted with tubes over and over. Double knees into the tubes. Battle on the apron, popping a dozen tubes. Colon with a DVD off, through a door covered in barbed wire. Both guys are a mess at this point. Colon tries a dive but 13 Sabu’s him with a chair into some tubes. Lucky tries a moonsault but COlon blasts a tube in the chest mid air. Colon grabs a tube and complete that suicide dive. Lucky and Colon up to the top. Lucky with a springboard rana and Colon is launched through a pane of glass and tubes. Kick out! Lucky with a package piledriver. Kick out! Snap dragon with tubes! Fisherman’s DVD but Colon is on the ropes. Dueling with the final supply of light tubes. Spanish fly into the glass. Another pane of glass set up on chairs. Lucky to the top. Markus Crane tries to light the glass on fire but he runs out of time as Colon hits a Spanish Fly through the glass pane. Both guys are an utter wreck but Alex Colon is your first GCW UV Champ!
Winner (And New GCW Ultraviolent Champion): Alex Colon
Colon on the mic after. He intends to defend it against everyone, even Nick Gage when he’s done playing with Jon Moxley. Gage is DOWN for that....in time.
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