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WWE RAW REPORT: IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES AND THE BEST OF TIMES FOR SANTA; AJ SPENDS A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EVE WITH HER MAN; SANTA'S HELPERS; LUMBERJACK FROSTS; MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET FIGHT; CM PUNK BLAMES RYBACK FOR RUINING CHRISTMAS AND HANUKKAH; AND MORE

By Richard Trionfo on 2012-12-24 23:01:50
Match Number Five: Miz and Kofi Kingston versus Antonio Cesaro and Wade Barrett

Miz and Cesaro start things off and they lock up. Cesaro with a waist lock but Miz with a wrist lock. Cesaro with a waist lock take down and he slaps Miz in the head. Cesaro reminds Miz that he is a champion. Miz with a waist lock and side head lock but Cesaro escapes. Miz with a kick and running knee lift and he slaps Cesaro in the back of the head. Miz with a flapjack and kick to the head for a near fall.

Cesaro with a forearm and side head lock followed by a shoulder tackle. Barrett tags in and he punches and kicks Miz. Miz with a kick to Barrett and he sends Wade into the turnbuckles. Barrett with an Irish whip but Miz avoids Barrett and hits a drop kick and gets a near fall. Kofi tags in and connects with a double sledge. Kofi with a kick and waist lock.

Barrett backs Kofi into the corner but Kofi with kicks. Barrett misses a clothesline but Barrett avoids Trouble in Paradise. Barrett goes to the floor to get into Kofi’s head and slow down the pace. Cesaro tags back in and Kofi with a drop toe hold and front face lock. Cesaro backs Kofi into the corner but Kofi punches Cesaro. Cesaro with a side slam and he kicks Kofi in the head and chokes him in the ropes.

Cesaro with a European uppercut and Barrett tags back in. Barrett with a snap mare and he stretches Kofi. Kofi with a kick and chop followed by a kick to the head. Barrett with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker for a near fall. Cesaro tags in and he kicks Kofi in the abdomen and then Cesaro picks up Kofi and hits a dead lift side salto for a near fall. Cesaro with a chin lock using Kofi’s arm.

Cesaro with an Irish whip but Kofi with a pendulum kick. Cesaro keeps Kofi from making the tag momentarily. Miz and Barrett are in and Miz with a back elbow and punches. Miz with the Awesome Clothesline and then he kicks Cesaro off the apron and hits a chop to the top of the head from the turnbuckles. Miz sets for the Skull Crushing Finale but Cesaro with a forearm to the back. Miz takes care of Cesaro but Barrett gets Miz on his shoulders. Miz sends Barrett to the ropes and Kofi with Trouble in Paradise from the floor and Miz gets the three count after the Skull Crushing Finale.

Winners: Miz and Kofi Kingston

We are back at Dolph and AJ’s Christmas Eve celebration and his briefcase has been gift wrapped. AJ says that she got the last one for him and broke John Cena’s heart by pushing him off a ladder. AJ says that she has one more present for Dolph and she opens her robe for him and he drops his present. She is wearing a Ziggler t-shirt.

Michael Cole reminds us that Santa suffered some injuries as a result of colliding with Alberto Del Rio’s hood.

We go to Matt Striker with an update. He says that there is not a lot to report. There was some damage done to Santa by the car.

Brad Maddox comes out and he sings Brad Maddox is coming to Raw.

Match Number Six: Brad Maddox versus Great Khali (with Hornswoggle)

Brad slaps Khali and he tells Khali he is not an elf. Khali sends Maddox into the turnbuckles and he chops Brad across the chest and Brad goes down. Khali with another chop. Hornswoggle tells Khali to do it again and he chops Brad out of the ring. Hornswoggle with a splash onto Maddox. Maddox drops Khali on the ropes and Brad with elbows drops to the leg.

Khali chops Brad to get out of the hold. Maddox with a drop kick to the head. Maddox poses for the crowd and then he goes for the injured leg but Khali kicks Brad into the corner. Maddox goes to the turnbuckles but he comes off and is chopped by Khali. Khali with clotheslines and then he choke slams Maddox and gets the three count.

Winner: Great Khali

After the match Great Khali and Hornswoggle dance. Hornswoggle tells Santa to get well. Khali wishes everyone a Merry Christmas.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman are in the hallway and we go to commercial.

We are back and we take a look at the crime scene before CM Punk and Paul Heyman make their way to the ring.

Punk tells Heyman that there should be an escalator to help him into the ring.

Punk mocks Great Khali’s Christmas wish and he says that he must have been from Pittsburgh since he couldn’t understand him. Punk says that in all seriousness, Christmas has been ruined.

The crowd starts a Steelers chant and Punk says that he isn’t stupid enough to root for a bunch of losers like the Cubs and he is from Chicago. Punk says that Christmas has been ruined. Punk says that it was not his fault. He is not talking about when Santa got hit by a car.

Punk is talking about how the best in the world is clearly injured to the point where he cannot compete tonight. Punk says that if you want to boo anyone, the person to boo is Ryback. Ryback is the reason why Christmas is ruined. Punk says that he cannot even walk without these crutches.

Punk says that Ryback has ruined Christmas. Ryback has ruined Hanukkah. What do we do to the lowlife who has ruined Christmas and Hanukkah. Do we fire him? No. Do we suspend him? No. Do we fine him an obscene amount of money? No. What is the punishment for Ryback for hurting the champion? Nothing. He is rewarded with a championship match.

If it was proven that CM Punk has worked with Brad Maddox or the Shield, then maybe Ryback should be given a title match. Punk says that he is in obvious pain. He is not cleared by doctors. Ryback is believing his own crap.

Punk says that he is in a bad mood because he has been doing a lot of training to get ready to go back to the ring. Punk insults the people in the crowd.

Paul tells everyone to get one thing perfectly clear. They do not boo CM Punk. CM Punk has been your WWE Champion for 400 consecutive days. For each and every one of those 400 days, CM Punk has been the victim of a documented conspiracy in the WWE to take this championship away from him. Paul mentions the Ryback situation. He has received not one, but two extraordinary opportunities to wrestle the title from CM Punk. On both occasions, Ryback has failed.

Punk tells Ryback that on two legs he was better than him. On one leg he is better than him. He could have his leg amputated and he will be better than him. He says that he is the best in the world.

Ryback’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring.

Paul tells Ryback to listen to him. CM Punk is not medically cleared to wrestle. If Ryback places one finger on Punk, he will sue him for assault.

Ryback says that he does not have to lay a finger on him because he got his Christmas present. In two weeks, if Punk is medically cleared, they will have the match that they were supposed to have at the pay per view. It will be a TLC match.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Seven: Daniel Bryan versus Damien Sandow

Damien demands silence and Bryan says no. They go back and forth until Daniel wins out. Bryan with a drop toe hold and he tries for the No Lock and Sandow gets to the floor. Bryan with a baseball slide to Sandow and then he goes to the apron and hits the running knee off the apron.

Bryan sends Sandow back into the ring and he hits the running drop kick into the corner and gets a near fall. Sandow with a punch and head butt to Bryan. Sandow with shoulders in the corner followed by punches. Sandow with an Irish whip but Bryan flips over Sandow. Bryan with a flying clothesline and he follows with Kicks of No. Bryan misses a round kick and Sandow gets a near fall with a rollup. Sandow sends Bryan to the apron.

Sandow with a shoulder to keep Bryan on the apron. Sandow sends Bryan into the ring post and Bryan falls to the floor. Sandow sends Bryan into the apron and then back into the ring for a near fall. Sandow with an Irish whip and a suplex for a near fall. Sandow with a quarter nelson and chin lock.

Bryan punches Sandow but Sandow with a knee and kick to Bryan. Sandow with kicks to the ribs and then he bows. Sandow with a side Russian leg sweep and he sets for the Elbow of Disdain and hits it. Damien puts Bryan on the turnbuckles and punches Daniel. Sandow sets for a superplex but Bryan knocks Sandow off the turnbuckles. Bryan with a diving head butt but Sandow moves out of the way. Sandow goes for Terminus but Bryan counters with the No Lock. Bryan locks it in and Sandow taps out.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

We go to commercial.

Match Number Eight: Usos, Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, Brodus Clay, and Santino Marella versus Tensai, Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Darren Young, and Titus O’Neil

Darren and Brodus start things off and they lock up. Clay sends Young to the floor and then Clay shimmies. Clay with a shoulder tackle and Irish whip followed by a running back elbow. Kidd tags in and he hits a double sledge from the apron and then applies a hammer lock. Young reverses and then Kidd goes through the ropes to tie up Young in the ropes. Kidd with a hip toss and drop kick.

Kidd tags in Gabriel and they hit a double back elbow and double snap mare followed by a double kick for a near fall. Young with a European uppercut and Tensai tags in. Tensai with an uppercut and a butterfly suplex for a near fall. Tensai misses a short arm clothesline and Gabriel with kicks and an enzuigiri. Santino tags in and he walks into an uppercut.

Mahal tags in and Santino misses a kick. Mahal with a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Mahal with a rear chin lock. Santino with a belly-to-back suplex and he tags in Jey Uso. Drew tags in as well. Drew with an Irish whip and Jey tries to float over but Drew kicks him in the midsection. Titus tags in and he kicks Jey. Titus with a double underhook gutbuster and then he tags Tensai back in.

Tensai mocks Jey and the Uso chant. Tensai with a head butt. Jey with punches but Tensai with a shoulder. Titus tags back in and he kicks and chokes Jey. Titus barks and then he runs into boots from Jey and both men are down. Jimmy and Slater tag in and Jimmy with a flying shoulder and clothesline. Jimmy with a Bubba Bomb and then he sends Slater into the corner for a running butt splash. Jimmy gets a near fall and Drew and Jinder break up the cover. Kidd and Gabriel take care of them and hit dives to the floor.

Slater hits Smash Hit but Brodus breaks up the cover. Clay sends Young and O’Neil to the floor. Tensai punches Clay. Santino with the Cobra to Tensai. Slater with Smash Hit to Santino. Gabriel with a quebrada to Slater followed by a springboard elbow drop from Kidd. Jey with a Superfly splash for the three count.

Winners: Usos, Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, Brodus Clay, and Santino Marella

We go to commercial, but when we come back, we will find out the latest on Santa.

We are back and Daniel Bryan is in a good mood. Both of them won and Christmas is his favorite day of the year. Kane says that he hates Christmas, but he still got Daniel a present. Kane did not get around to wrapping it. Daniel opens it and he sees that it is a Slammy Award. Daniel says that he has a present for Kane and it is a puppy.

Kane thanks Daniel and he says that he is starving. Daniel yells no and says that animals are our friends and not food. Daniel takes the dog back.

We go to AJ reading Twas the Night Before Christmas with her own interpretation. AJ pushes Dolph under the mistletoe and they kiss and their passion knocks over the Christmas tree.

In case you missed it the first four or five times, we see the horrible automobile accident involving Santa Claus and Alberto Del Rio.

We go to Matt Striker for the latest update on Santa. Matt says that Santa has taken a turn for the worst and he is about to be taken to a medical facility but it looks like he is doing much better. It is a Christmas Eve Miracle.

Ricardo comes out and he cannot do the usual Alberto introduction because of what happened earlier to Santa.

Match Number Nine: John Cena versus Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) in a Miracle on 34th . . . Street Fight

Cena yells at Del Rio for running over Santa. Del Rio pushes Cena and says that it was an accident. Cena punches Del Rio and then he climbs the turnbuckles. Cena sends Del Rio to the floor and Del Rio Irish whips Cena into the ring steps and Del Rio kicks Cena in the shoulder as a prelude for the cross arm breaker.

Del Rio gets a near fall and then he stomps on the arm. Del Rio tells Ricardo to get the mic. Del Rio says that it was an accident and then he hits Cena with the mic. He was not trying to hurt Santa. He hits Cena with the mic one more time. Cena blocks another shot with the mic and Cena kicks Del Rio and hits Alberto in the head with the mic. Cena grabs a present and he opens it. Cena pulls out a steel chair.

Cena hits Del Rio in the midsection and back with the chair. Cena gets a near fall. Cena chases Ricardo around the ring and Del Rio with a clotheslines when the get into the ring. Del Rio with kicks and punches to Cena. Ricardo gives Alberto a present and Del Rio opens it.

It is a pie and Del Rio tries to throw it in Cena’s face but he hits Ricardo instead. Cena with a kick followed by an Irish whip and bulldog. Cena sends Del Rio to the floor and Cena sends Del Rio into the barrier on the ramp. The fight onto the stage and Cena gets another present.

Cena picks up a monitor and he hits Del Rio in the head with it. We go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio is in control. We see Ricardo distracting Cena and Del Rio with a superkick to the shoulder. Alberto is given another present and Ricardo says that it is a bazooka, but it is a teddy bear. Del Rio throws the teddy bear at Cena and Cena is fine. Alberto grabs Ricardo and then Cena sends Del Rio into the presents. Cena puts a wreath over Ricardo and then gives him a present to the head.

They fight down the ramp and back to the ring. Cena sends Del Rio into the apron and then into the barrier. Cena goes back for another present and the crowd wants him to use the tree. Cena picks up the tree and takes it to the ringside area and he hits Del Rio with the tree.

Cena opens another present and he has a bowling ball. Cena lines up for the 7-10 split on Del Rio and he hits Del Rio in the head pin. Cena goes for another present and it is a fire extinguisher. Cena stands over Del Rio and he goes into the ring and sprays Alberto with the extinguisher.

Ricardo jumps on Cena’s back and applies a sleeper.

Santa’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring with his bag of presents. Ricardo is jubilant that Santa is okay. Santa hits Ricardo with the bag of presents and he gives Del Rio Mr. Socko. Cena with Attitude Adjustment for the three count.

Winner: John Cena

After the match, Cena and Santa celebrate in the ring. We go to credits.


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