Ricochet gets the microphone before the match and tells the SSB to hold their 16 bit asses up, because he wants to tell CIMA and AR Fox to watch this match and see what a great tag team looks like. Ricochet starts off with Uno and they have a somewhat cautious feeling out process before Ricochet suckers Uno with a sole butt, but then he whips Uno to the ropes and Uno takes him down with a shoulderblock. Ricochet kips right up, but Uno takes him out with a flying headscissors and they...throw Hadokens at each other. I guess that constitutes a stalemate, so Dos and Swann come in and trade headlocks, but Dos gets Swann back into his corner and Uno comes in to drop toehold Swann so Dos can come in with a kneedrop to the back of the neck that gets 2. Dos with a slingshot senton from the apron for 2, then a double double axhandle (quadruple axhandle?) from the SSB before Uno hits a legdrop for 2. Uno goes to the ropes but Swann drills him with a dropkick and makes the tag to Ricochet, who comes in with a slingshot senton for 2 on Uno. Uno is on his knees as Ricochet fires kicks into his chest before cradling Uno for 2. Ricochet gets Uno back to his feet and throws more kicks before coming off the ropes with a double axhandle of his own, followed by a standing shooting star press for 2. Ricochet tries to take Uno's mask off, but the referee stops that from happening, so Ricochet stands on Uno's back and jogs in place in what looks more like a comfortable massage than a painful offensive move. Uno tries some headbutts to Ricochet's abs in vain, and Swann comes in to hit a series of double teams on Uno, who is in deep trouble. Uno reverses a whip and charges Swann in the corner, but Swann gets the boot up and then gets in Dos' face so Ricochet can take a shot at Uno while the referee's back is turned. Ricochet gets Uno up in that sort of horizontal Gory Special that he does and seems to be struggling a bit, so Dos comes in and shoves him over to break it up. Ricochet takes a shot at Dos and delivers a double hiptoss and a double dropkick to Uno for 2. Uno suddenly catches Ricochet coming off the ropes and hits the swinging Flatliner, and makes the tag to Dos, who comes in and cleans house on Swann. Swann comes back with a superkick and several back elbows to Dos, then each simulataneously hits dives to the floor to wipe out each other's partners. Back inside we go as Dos hits a full rotation Dragon suplex for 2, Ricochet comes in and blindsides Dos, but he charges Dos in the corner and runs right into his boot. Uno spears Swann out on the ring apron and they both go down to the floor, but Ricochet sees what happens and wipes Uno out with a dive of his own. Back in we go, as Ricochet comes off the top rope with a crossbody, but Dos rolls through and hits a swinging faceplant for 2. Uno gets Swann in a fireman's carry while giving Ricochet a giant swing, and Dos baseball slides Ricochet as he comes around in the giant swing part. Swann takes them both out with a handspring into a Stunner, then Ricochet hits a double Ace Crusher for 2. Ricochet goes for the backslide driver, Uno blocks and Dos takes Ricochet out with a big boot, Swann dropkicks Dos, Uno flattens Swann with a clothesline, Ricochet nails Uno, and Dos gets a top rope splash on Ricochet for 2. Dos takes on both opponents, but gets overwhelmed and beaten down. Dos gets away and takes both of them out with a double Pelle Kick, then Uno monkey flips Ricochet into Swann, but a double team lungblower on Ricochet only gets 2 when Swann breaks up the cover. Swann pummels Dos in the corner with forearms and then Ricochet comes in with an IED, they put Dos on the top and take him out with a pair of leaping enziguiris, then Ricochet comes off the top with a shooting star press on Uno for 2. Ricochet is irate that he didn't get the fall and argues with the referee, but then Ricochet and Swann go up to the top rope for what is sure to be some devastating double team. Instead, Dos shoves Swann off the top rope and goes for a suplex on Ricochet. Uno comes over and picks Ricochet up on his shoulders to bait Ricochet into trying a crossbody so he can powerslam him off of Uno's shoulders. Dos takes Swann out with a dive to the floor as Uno moonsaults onto Ricochet, then they hit the double team lungblower on Ricochet and get the win.
Winners: Super Smash Brothers
There was a lot going on in that one, so I apologize if my play by play wasn't up to the usual standards. Big win for the SSB that they've worked their asses off to earn, and AR Fox comes out to the entryway to ask "Trevor" what happened. He says it looks like Trevor can't make the Billboard charts anymore, and tells him to watch the main event to see how a real high flyer does it.
Chuck Taylor, Drew Gulak & Orange Cassidy vs The Scene & Cheech
Cheech is the mystery partner for the Scene, while the Gentleman's Club has the swamp monster and also what appears to be a homeless veteran in a wheelchair in their corner. The homeless guy slips some kind of foreign object into Taylor's wristband before the match, as we start off with Scott Reed and Drew Gulak. Reed easily powers Gulak into the corner and breaks clean, then decides to tag Konley in and let him have a go, but Gulak apparently intimidates Konley, so he tags Cheech in instead. Cheech tags out to Konley, Konley tags out to Reed, and finally Reed powers Gulak into the corner and kicks him in the gut on the break. Reed goes for a Boston crab, Gulak rolls Reed through into a sitting cradle for 2, and Reed goes for another Boston crab but Gulak draws his legs in to prevent Reed from turning him and rolls forward into a pinning combination on Reed that gets 2. Reed has had enough and tags Konley back in, and this time he stays in as Gulak tags Cassidy in and he does the same dopey gimmick as last night. Konley kicks him in the midsection and unloads with a series of forearms, but Cassidy avoids all of Konley's offense by holding the ropes until finally catching Konley on a leapfrog attempt by countering to an inverted atomic drop. Konley blocks a vertical suplex and reverses to a delayed vertical suplex of his own, then tags Cheech in as Cassidy looks like he's going to puke in the ring. Cheech tells Cassidy to tag out to the homeless guy and then to the swamp monster, but he tags in Taylor instead. They do a goofy martial arts sequence before Taylor boots Cheech in the face and slowly climbs the corner, pausing for a nip of the ol' bird from the homeless guy, then feels a little unsteady and decides to leap off the bottom rope with a double axhandle instead. Taylor tags in Gulak and they hit a double back elbow before Cassidy staggers in and falls on Cheech for 2. Cassidy picks Cheech up and whips him to the corner, then the Gentlemen's Club take turns charging Cheech in the corner, with the swamp monster coming in last with a Tidal Crush. Taylor backdrops Cheech to the floor and then dumps the Scene and Larry Dallas into the corner to make it look like they're having a big orgy, then the swamp monster dumps Trina's face in the homeless guy's lap as he straddles her from behind. As all these shenanigans are happening, the Scene hits a double team powerbomb on Gulak that gets 2. Konley with a kneedrop to Gulak for 2, then he gets a rear chinlock as Orange Cassidy rallies the troops from the corner. Cheech tags in and goes right for a cover on Gulak, but only gets 2, so he gets Gulak in a Gory Special. Cassidy tries a dropkick but misses by a mile, so Cheech gets him in a Boston Crab while keeping Gulak in the Gory Special. Cheech and the Scene continue wearing Gulak down until Cheech and Konley run into each other because of miscommunication and nearly let Gulak get the tag because they spend too much time arguing. Gulak manages to get by them and make the hot tag to Cassidy...who just stands there in the corner until he realizes he was tagged in, at which point he comes in, takes a double shoulderblock, and rolls out the floor. Taylor comes in and cleans house, then Gulak takes Cheech out with a dive to the floor. Taylor goes for a dive, but Cassidy wanders in front of him and blocks him from doing the dive, then does a twisting springboard dive himself. The swamp monster takes someone else out, and Taylor goes to the top rope to go for a dive, but gets distracted by Trina, allowing Larry Dallas to shove Taylor off the top. Cheech goes up for a moonsault, but Cassidy pops up on the apron and spews...orange juice? I dunno, but it blinds Cheech and allows Taylor to hit the Awful Waffle on Cheech for the win.
Winners: The Gentlemen's Club
I dunno, I'm still not sold on the Gentlemen's Club. There's shenanigans that you can work into the flow of a match, but it seems like the Gentlemen's Club is determined to go so far over the top that it takes away from what they do and makes them look like a bunch of goofs. Larry Dallas starts yelling at Cheech for losing the match, but Marti Belle comes back in the ring and gets in Larry Dallas' face before laying a beating on Trina and flattening her with a Pedigree. It was whatever.
Callihan and Generico go 2 out of 3 falls on Page 3!
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