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I liked the new song and look back at the first 999 episodes. Say what you want about WWE today folks but most, if not all of you, are reading this because of all of the good stuff that has happened over the years on Monday night. I wouldn't be typing this in 2012 if it wasn't for all of the cool stuff that has happened over the years. No matter how much I rip stuff now, one thing needa to be said. Thank you WWE. For more than I can even adequately state in mere words. Michael Cole said it's a night of celebration. He is right on the money.
Vince came out and said Thank You. The crowd responded in kind. He then welcomed us to Monday Night Raw and brought out DX. Again, not for nothing but this already feels really special. I hope it stays that way. ... It is cool to see Shawn and HHH doing their thing again. It really is. ... Shawn said he is feeling this. I get it. He is missing something. It has to be Waltman, Jesse and maybe some others. Right? HHH pointed out the merch they can sell. Shawn asked about H's underwear. No, it's MORE OF US. Bring them out. If Chyna comes, it would stun me. I don't expect to be stunned, nor should I be stunned. ... Here they come. It's the three I figured, Jesse James, Billy Gunn and X Pac. This is a lot of fun for me. My wife, who was big in the Attitude Era, is loving this. She has two words for ya. You know what they are. She is right, this is cool.
Jesse James did his intro, nice pop. H took the mic and asked if we were ready. You know what that means (unless, again, this is the first time you came to the site). H obviously was popping for this being Raw 1000 and he had every right to. ... Gunn has the mic and wow, he didn't color his hair. He and Shawn got into the "HHH never gave us much" bit. H told Billy not to make Shawn lose his smile or he will post for Playgirl. Shawn said he needed the money. These guys are having fun, and that is cool. Executive decision, literally maybe, from H, they do it together. As they went to do it, Damien Sandow stopped the Suck It chant. The fans hated it. He ragged on DX, setting himself up to get his ass kicked. If it happens, against five guys, I will give them a pass tonight. Sandow says that if they do it, he will be a martyr for smart people. Talk about playing the wrong card, he just did it. And they killed him. Five on one, I will give them a pass on killing a new guy. Billy Gunn finally got to do the Suck It. I liked it. Cool opening segment.
They just promo all of the stuff on the show tonight. You all know what that is by now.
CM Punk plugged the new WWE videogame. It looks cool but I am not the target audience.
Here comes JR. Crap, that is a bit early. He is joining the on commentary. I hope that means all night long. ... Out comes Rey Rey. He will be part of a six man, with Sin Cara and Sheamus, vs. Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler and Alberto. It's strange bedfellows time. ... JR already makes the commentary better. Cole even pretty much said so by putting him over. ... My wife just said, "Why are Jericho and Ziggler teaming together". She didn't but the "WWE makes for strange bedfellows" explanation, and either do I. ... The crowd is live and this match. ... Wow, Ziggler made sense of this, nailing Jericho leading to Sheamus winning with the Brogue Kick. The faces win. ... Wow they both look small next to the World Champ. ... Cole just thanked JR, after putting him over, I hope this doesn't make for a bad night for Ross.
Wow, we are back to and JR is gone. He got to call the six man and that was it? Totally wrong. ... And they followed that up with Touts from dopes. Wonderful. One guy made face fart noises. Lawler said if you continue to do that, we will continue to show them. Yay, the first hour of Raw will be great if they do that. Not. ... Charlie Sheen isn't tweeting but he showed up on the net. He showed that at least he was paying attention to the show so far. ... Time to recap what got us to the Bryan-AJ wedding.
AJ is with Layla, she says WWE is unstable. She shows her by pointing out Hacksaw Duggan, Roddy Piper and Little Jimmy. Mae Young is there with her full grown hand. Yeah, all of the stuff on Raw wasn't good. AJ is the sane one but Layla ran away. Maybe that actually makes her sane. The wedding is coming.
Sonic paid for product placement. Jack Swagger is there to get laid out by Brodus. Brodus is making the American Flag look bad as an ring outfit. He brings out Dude Love and as quickly as it took to type that, it's over. Dude is gonna dance with Love. He has a tye dye sock, that Swagger ate. ... Poor Swagger, he is so done.
HHH is the back with brunette Trish. She is showing him some yoga stuff. Hell, I would listen if I were her too. ... The DX boys come in and are laughing at him getting it in the back door and in the rear, get it. ... Pac asks Trish what's up. She seems scared of him. Why? Well, you decide. ... Daniel Bryan's wedding party is apparently filled out by guys that take care of crazy people. That can't be good.
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