No Mercy opened with a video package on King Booker, leading into hype for the Fatal Four Way match for the World Title tonight.
Michael Cole and JBL welcomed us to the PPV and we went into the opening contest.
Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy.
Helms' Cruiserweight Title is not on the line. They put over that Hardy and Helms were North Carolina natives as they made their entrances, and that this was a battle in front of their families, friends and hometown fans. They went face to face at the bell, then backed up before locking up. Helms took Hardy down with a fireman's carry, and they exchanged wristlocks. Helms went for a headlock, but Hardy shoved it off and hit a shoulderblock. Matt grabbed Helms in a waistlock, and Helms went for a wrist, but Hardy shoved it off. Helms was frustrated. Helms grabbed an armdrag as Hardy went for a test of strength, then kicked Hardy and started stomping him down in a corner. Hardy came back with a vertical suplex and took him down with a back elbow before dropping one on him. Hardy clotheslined Helms to the floor, then hit him with a pescado.
Hardy threw Helms back in the ring, then stomped him in a corner. Hardy pulled Helms out of the corner into a powerbomb for a two count. Hardy then went for punches in a corner, but Helms grabbed him and dropped him face first on the top turnbuckle. Helms hit a neckbreaker across the knee for a two count. Hardy elbowed a charging Helms and climbed the ropes. Helms stopped him, and gave Hardy a side Russian legsweep off the second rope. Helms covered Hardy for a two count. Helms grabbed Hardy in a double underhook and drove his knee into Hardy's head. Helms stepped on Hardy's throat, then picked him up by the hair. Hardy rallied with punches, but Helms gave Hardy a kneebuster to the head for a two count.
Helms choked Hardy against the middle rope, then armdragged him and applied a trapped arm choke. Helms picked up Hardy in a fireman's carry, but Hardy floated out and hit a reverse DDT. Hardy and Helms traded punches, and Hardy got the better of it. Hardy hit some clotheslines and a bulldog for a two count. Hardy slammed Helms and hit the second rope legdrop for a two count. Hardy measured Helms for the Twist Of Fate, but Helms reversed it into an inverted DDT for a two count. Helms hit a second one for another two count. Helms went for a third, and hit it, but didn't cover. Helms went to the top rope, slowly, and jumped off, but Hardy hit him in the gut as he came off. Hardy gave Helms the Side Effect for a two count. Hardy hit a second Side Effect for another two. Matt delivered a third Side Effect, went to the top rope, and jumped for a moonsault. Helms got his knees up on it. Helms then went for a Shining Wizard, but Matt ducked it and rolled up Helms for a two count. Hardy went for a Twist Of Fate, but Helms backdropped Hardy and hit the Shining Wizard for a two count.
Helms put Matt on the top rope and set up for a superplex, but Hardy hit him and headbutted him to the mat. Matt stood on the top rope, but Helms grabbed him by the arm and yanked him down, crotch first on the top rope. Helms then climbed to the top and hit a variation of the Shining Wizard as Matt was still crotched on the top. Helms covered Matt for a two count, as Hardy got a two count. Helms picked up Hardy and they went to a series of reversals, with Matt grabbing the Twist Of Fate for the win at the 17 minute mark.
Winner: Matt Hardy.
Backstage, King Booker told Sir William Regal that he had to go and convince Finlay to put aside his love of fighting, and be his ally tonight in the Fatal Four Way.
WWE Tag Team Champions Brian Kendrick & Paul London, with Ashley, vs. KC James & Idol Stevens, with Michelle McCool.
Stevens started out with London, pounding him down in a corner. London fought back, leapfrogging him and hitting a rana. Kendrick ran in for a double hiptoss and double kicks, then tagged London back in. London hit a top rope stomp to Stevens' outstretched arm. London tossed Kendrick at Stevens with a rocket launcher for a two count. Stevens hit a kick to the gut on Kendrick and tagged in James. JBL just compared the tag champs to Steve & Shaun Simpson. I wonder how many fans remember them. London tagged in, but James gave a blind tag to Stevens, who came off the top rope to a London dropkick. The champs sent the challengers to the floor, then hit stereo dives to the outside. Back in the ring, Kendrick suplexed Stevens, and London went to the top rope, but James knocked him off and to the floor. Stevens pulled London back into the ring for a two count, then applied a chinlock.
London broke out with some punches and grabbed a sunset flip. He couldn't get Stevens down, but did avoid a legdrop attempt. Stevens managed to pull London to his corner, stretched him on the ropes, and tagged James for a second rope kneedrop to the back. James put London in a chinlock. London battled up, but James hit a side backbreaker for a two count. Stevens tagged in and snapmared London, then drove a knee into his back. Stevens applied a double underhook and stretched London with it on the mat. London battled out, slid under Stevens, but wasn't able to make the tag. James tagged back in, but missed a charge in the corner. Stevens pulled Kendrick off the ring apron to keep London from making the tag. Stevens and James went for a double backdrop, but London kicked it away, avoided Stevens and made the hot tag to Kendrick.
Kendrick cleaned house with forearms and dropkicks, then went for Sliced Bread #2 on James, but Stevens shook the ropes to stop Kendrick from completing it. London nailed Stevens with a tope. James gave Kendrick a superplex, but London broke it up. London and Stevens started fighting on the outside. Stevens ran in, and Kendrick kicked Stevens while at the same time DDTing James. Kendrick covered James, but Michelle put his foot on the ropes. Stevens ran in and hit a high sidewalk slam on Kendrick. James covered Kendrick for a two count. Michelle tried to trip Kendrick, and Ashley attacked Michelle. Ashley pounded Michelle on the floor. In the ring, Stevens & James tried a double suplex, but London pulled Kendrick down.
London tossed Kendrick into the air and he dropkicked both opponents. Stevens fell to the floor, and Kendrick gave James Sliced Bread #2. London jumped off of Kendrick's back into a Shooting Star Press (which the announcers kept calling a Northern Lights for some reason) onto Stevens. Kendrick then covered Stevens for the pin at the ten minute mark.
Winners: Paul London & Brian Kendrick.
They showed a trailer for The Marine.
William Regal was in the back, looking for Finlay. Instead, he found Vito jumping rope in a dress. Regal said he was "sweating like Vince McMahon in a church". Regal told Vito he was going to show him how to jump rope properly. Regal sang "London Bridge" while skipping rope. Grossed out by Vito's thong (as he used his dress to wipe the sweat off his head), Regal turned to leave, and clumsily walked into a tray of condiments, falling down and dumping ketchup and mustard all over himself.
Smackdown General Manager Theodore R. Long came to the ring, where a giant box with a bow was present. Long said it was someone's birthday. Long then revealed that it was The Miz' 26th birthday. Mike Mizanin then came to the ring, in street clothes. There was also a birthday cake and balloons in the ring. Long said Miz had been hitting on one of his Divas. Long said she hadn't been receptive to his advances, but he was going to bring her out for Miz' birthday. Long brought out Layla, who was wearing lingerie and a coat. Miz was drooling over her. Layla asked for a chair, and sat Miz in it. Layla then asked for music, and started to give Miz a lapdance. Miz said it was his best birthday ever. Layla then pulled out a blindfold and put it on Miz. The was then lifted, and Big Dick Johnson, the fat male stripper (and in actuality, WWE writer) was there in a G-String. He gave the blindfolded Miz a lapdance, and Miz was enjoying it, until the truth was revealed to him. A disgusted Miz ran off, while Johnson and Layla danced in the ring together.
MVP vs. ?
MVP had a pyro entrance, and an ugly blue longsleeve bodysuit as his wrestling gear. JBL said he stole the outfit from a Power Ranger, and that he looked like a Bud Light can. MVP got on the mic and started bragging, claiming he was going to dominate tonight. He said he was the "Most Valuable Player" on Smackdown.
His opponent for tonight: Marty Garner (known to indy fans as Cham Pain). MVP slapped him to the mat before the bell rang. MVP took Garner to the mat and rode him a bit, then got up and posed. MVP invited Garner to just leave the ring. MVP snapmared Garner for a two count, getting up on his own. The fans chanted "boring". MVP traded wristlocks with Garner, and Garner fired off some punches, but MVP returned fire. Garner leapfrogged a charging MVP, but MVP nailed him with a clothesline. Annoyed, MVP rammed Garner head first into the mat, then stomped him. MVP hit a leg driver to the mat (ala Elix Skipper's Play Of The Day) for the pin at the three minute mark.
Backstage, William Regal was coming out of the shower, as was Vito. Vito looked at Regal's manhood, and made a "short" comment. Regal noticed Vito's, and he is apparently well endowed, and ran out of the dressing room, dropping his towel, so we all got to see his bare rear end. Regal ran into Theodore R. Long, who put him in match tonight.
They aired a video hyping the Kennedy-Undertaker match.
Ken Kennedy vs. The Undertaker.
Kennedy's United States Title was not announced as being on the line. Kennedy ripped on the crowd for booing him as he did his own ring introduction. Undertaker then did his usual entrance. They stared each other down from across the ring before the bell rang. Taker charged at the bell, but Kennedy avoided a kick. Kennedy fired off some punches and hit a back elbow, but ran into a Taker boot to the face. Undertaker hit a short arm shoulderblock, then rammed Kennedy's shoulder into the corner. Undertaker teased going for the Old School rope walk, but Kennedy broke free and rolled to the floor. Undertaker went after him, and rammed his arm into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Undertaker lifted Kennedy by the arm and dropped him to the mat.
Kennedy rolled to the floor again, but Undertaker followed him and rammed Kennedy shoulder first into the ringpost. Undertaker tossed Kennedy back into the ring, and Kennedy grabbed the ropes and pulled himself to the floor, but not before Taker hit his bad arm again. On the floor, Kennedy hit some elbows and punches, but Taker kicked him in the bad arm and tossed him back into the ring. Undertaker went for the Old School rope walk, but Kennedy stepped onto the bottom rope and armdragged Taker off the top and into the ring. Kennedy hit some punches and choked Taker with his foot by the ropes. Taker kicked Kennedy's bad arm to go back on offense. Taker grabbed his arm and went for the rope walk again, this time finishing it and hitting the top rope forearm. Undertaker hit a facedriver for a two count.
Kennedy slumped in a corner and loosened a top turnbuckle, removing the pad. Taker grabbed Kennedy and hit a clothesline for a two count. Taker rammed Kennedy head first into a corner (not the exposed one) and hit a punch to the head. Taker choked Kennedy in a corner. Taker missed a running kick, and went over the top rope and to the apron. Kennedy then charged into Taker, knocking him off the apron and into the security barrier on the floor. Kennedy went to the outside and stomped Taker, then rammed him chest first into the security barrier. Kennedy jumped off the apron, but Taker caught him and rammed him back first into the ringpost. Taker tossed Kennedy back into the ring for a two count. Kennedy grabbed Taker by the trunks and pulled him through the ropes and to the floor. Kennedy yelled for the referee to count Taker out.
Undertaker got back in, and Kennedy hit him with a kneelift as he got back in. Kennedy covered Taker, but he got his foot on the bottom rope. Kennedy stomped Taker, then hit some forearms and choked him against the middle rope. Kennedy straddled Taker against the ropes, then covered him for a two count. Kennedy choked Undertaker with his boot in a corner. Kennedy hit some shoulderblocks and kicks in a corner, then hit a running kick to the face. Kennedy dragged Taker into the center of the ring and got a two count. Kennedy dropped a pair of elbows, then hit a double axhandle to the chest and got a two count. Kennedy then blatantly choked Undertaker in the ring. Taker started battling back with punches from his knees. Kennedy tried to return fire, but Taker hit more punches, then got to his feet and clotheslined Kennedy to the floor. Taker went out after him, and put Kennedy on the ring apron. Taker elbowed Kennedy, then set up for the legdrop on the ring apron, which he hit.
As Taker got back into the ring, Kennedy got a sudden burst of energy, kicking Taker's leg and hitting a piledriver. Kennedy covered Taker, but he kicked out at two and sat up. Kennedy jumped on Taker again, but only got a two count. Kennedy applied a trapped arm choke, then switched to a chinlock as Undertaker made his way to his feet. Taker got out of it with a back suplex. The two men traded punches, with Taker getting the better of it. Kennedy kicked Taker in the leg and went for a whip, but Taker reversed it and hit a flying clothesline. Taker then hit two clotheslines in a corner, and followed it with Snake Eyes. Undertaker hit a boot to the face, then a legdrop for a two count.
Taker called for the chokeslam, but Kennedy grabbed the referee to avoid it, then started kicked Taker's leg and grabbed a neckbreaker for a two count. Kennedy missed two attempts at high kicks, then Taker grabbed him by the throat and hit a chokeslam. Taker set up for the Last Ride, but Kennedy managed to float over it. Kennedy almost hit the referee as he did, then Taker charged and Kennedy moved and Taker almost hit the referee. Kennedy then charged Taker and rammed him bulldog style into the top turnbuckle, which was the turnbuckle that was exposed earlier. Kennedy hit a clothesline and the Kenton Bomb, but Taker kicked out and sat up. Kennedy went to the floor and grabbed the U.S. Title belt. Kennedy got back in, and the referee tried to stop him from using it. Taker ended up grabbing it, and despite the referee's protests, hit Kennedy with it. The referee disqualified Taker at the 21-minute mark.
Winner via disqualification: Ken Kennedy.
Undertaker choked the referee, then gave Kennedy some elbowdrops and a tombstone piledriver. Taker started to leave, then went back and gave referee Charles Robinson a tombstone as well.
Coverage continued on next page