JANELA VS. BRODIE LEE JR., SANDMAN RETIREMENT & MORE: 4/17 JOEY JANELA'S SPRING BREAK X REPORT FROM LAS VEGAS

Joey Janela’s Spring Break X

4/17/26 Las Vegas

Part one of Joey Janela’s yearly wacky bulls*** circus is back for its 10th edition and we have some cuckoo bananas nonsense on tap for this evening. I say this lovingly, I swear. Raise a glass. Tip your bartender. The chaos is about to start. 10pm hits. We get a 15 min timer. 10:18pm: the timer is at 9:45 left. Time is weird. I start to consider if this is normal “wrestling never starts ontime” or the parallel universe possibility where an eternal countdown IS the show and this is Janela’s ultimate f*** you to the wrestling biz. Nah, it’s just a hell’s waiting room of a 30 minute delay in 1 minute increments. We open with a retrospective on all the previous Spring Breaks in full VHS motif. Emil Jay is your announcer. Veda Scott & Mose start the night on the call. (Jordan Cassel comes in later)

Match 1: Vipress vs Bear Bronson vs Terry Yaki vs Shotzi Blackheart vs Vengador vs Gringo Loco vs Sidney Akeem vs 1 Called Manders vs Man Like Dereiss vs Charles Mason (Grab the Brass Ring Ladder Match)

The winner of this can trade the ring for any championship match they want. Vipress is out here on a blinged out bicycle. There’s plenty of f***ery at ringside already. Everyone comes down one at a time. Dereiss raps his way to the ring and is immediately blindsided by an impatient Mason. Also, they are calling this a ladder match…it IS…because there’s a ladder there. It’s just a 10-way scramble in practical terms. It immediately goes to the floor and the dive party begins. Vengador with the last big dive and Mason throws a chair in his face. Destroyer to Yaki in the ring and Mason almost ends this quickly. WAIT…there’s ANOTHER PERSON IN THE SCRAMBLE. MASATO TANAKA ENTERS THE MATCH!!! It’s an 11-way scramble! Mason looks shocked!

Match 1: Vipress vs Bear Bronson vs Terry Yaki vs Shotzi Blackheart vs Vengador vs Gringo Loco vs Sidney Akeem vs 1 Called Manders vs Man Like Dereiss vs Charles Mason vs MASATO TANAKA (Grab the Brass Ring Ladder Match)

Basement clothesline connects on Mason. Tanaka is here. Dereiss and Tanaka get into leading some “01” chants with the audience. Dereiss with a cutter avoids the sliding lariat. The chaos calms down a little until Vengador hits the ropes and the top rope breaks! Now people gotta figure out how to NOT have a top rope for a while. Big bomb from Gringo to Shotzi. Tanaka rana’s Gringo off the second rope to a ladder. Shotzi throws a ladder. Mason with a sister Abigail! Bear kills him with a chair. Bear sets up a door, Mason dropkicks him through it…Bronson right up and hits the chokebomb for two! Tanaka face to face with Bear. They grab chairs. It’s time for chair dueling! Bear eats multiple head shots and rages through them! Black hole slam…kick out! Tanaka throws Bear into the first few rows of chairs. Chaos! They brawl through the crowd. Where are the other 9 people in this match? Shotzi appears in the ring with a GIANT ladder while the ring crew works to fix the ring. Charles Mason starts attacking the ring crew?!? “Safety first!” Chants the crowd. Hilarious. Shotzi and Vipress head to the top of the ladder and make out briefly before double diving to the floor! Shotzi back up there with Dereiss. He wants a smooch too. She gives him a superplex instead. Dereiss kicks out! He drops Sidney Akeem. He hits a 450 off the second! Masin sends Dereiss flying off the apron..he doesn’t steal the pin in time! Everyone going for the kill! Vengador builds a door bridge and sets up Terry Yaki on it. He sets up a second ladder as a crash zone. Gringo catches Vengador and hits an electric chair Michanoku driver off the ladder through the door. DISGUSTING landing. Mason whips a chair into his face. Mason tries to kill Vipress…she piledrives him off the apron to the floor. Christian Napier interferes and hits a butterfly neckbreaker on Vipress. Matt Tremont is out here to make the save! Otis Cogar out here to fight Tremont. I thought the Clusterf*** was TOMORROW! Lol. Manders is back in the ring to eat a Vengador cutter…who then runs into a cowboy lariat. Vengador with a poisonrana! He heads up the ladder…he stands on the top rung and splashes down! Manders kicks out! He blasts Vengador with a piece of door and a second cowboy lariat turns Vengador inside out and Manders gets the three! Absolute madness. Manders got the brass ring! 49’ers tight end George Kittle comes in to present the giant brass ring on a gaudy gold chain to Manders.

We have a memorial video for Spring Break participants we’ve lost over the years.

Match 2: Bustah & The Brain (Jordan Oliver & Alec Price) and Marcus Mathers vs The Rascalz (Dezmond Xavier, Zachary Wentz & Myron Reed)

Price jumps off the stairs that damn near killed him a few days ago. I guess he’s feeling better! This is gonna be a fast one. Reed and Mathers open this up and Marcus get caught up in the quick tags and swarming attacks of the Rascalz. Dezmond eats the receipt for this so much that the other Rascalz complain about the rampant triple teaming. Xavier and Reed laid out as Wentz gets into the fight with Bustah & the Brain. He finally gets the tag to Reed who expends all his saved up specials on Mathers. Wentz dives out to B&B but Mathers kicks out of the double team! Oliver and Price save Mathers from the follow up. Everyone flying in from everyone until Oliver is last standing. Dezmond eats a doomsday double stomp! Mathers with a 450! Reed and Wentz make the save! Reed with a matrix drop before he dives over the top to cutter Oliver and wipe out Price! Mathers left in the middle and every member of the Rascalz get a dive in, stack Marcus and get the three! Wild.

Match 3: Atticus Cogar(c) vs Hayabusa (for the GCW world championship)

The original Hayabusa was a scarred warrior. Atticus has a problem with whoever is under the mask of the legendary name now. “Scars carry rank, not masks”. What is Hayabusa getting into? Cogar is gripping his skewers hard and impales the turnbuckle. Hayabusa with a dive to the floor. Atticus keeps coming. Atticus baseball slides to the outside and Hayabusa hits a moonsault. Cogar connects with his hangman’s moonsault for two. The crowd is a little split here. So far, Atticus is keeping this in the realm of wrestling….and the moment Hayabusa gets a rope break…Cogar grabs some chairs and scrap wood from the opening match. Hayabusa tries another dive by Cogar blasts him in the face with the wood. Atticus slams a chair into his knee. Exploder into the buckles! He’s got more skewers and he tears up Hayabusa’s back with them! Cogar dropping venom as he looks to punish this man for wearing the name of a deathmatch legend. All things considered, this is tamer than I figured this would be. Hayabusa with a tribute to Sabu and hits a leg lariat off a chair! Cogar blasts Hayabusa with a chair and goes about setting up a full bed of steel chairs. He superkicks Hayabusa into the chair. He tries a moonsault stomp…Hyabusa moves, Atticus crashes and burns in the chairs. Horrid landing. Hyabusa grabs a door and makes a table. 450 through the door! Kick out! Hayabusa goes to the top but it’s that corner with the skewers in them. Atticus kicks out the legs. Hayabusa eats the skewers! Brain Hemorrhage! Kick out! Cogar has more skewers. Hayabusa turns them around and turns Cogar into a porcupine! Poisonrana! Michanoku driver! Kick out! Crowd fired up on this. Hayabusa misses one more dive and Atticus hits a second brain hemorrhage and that’s the match. Not bloody at all so Atticus may have won but he clearly failed at leaving Hayabusa scarred up. Good solid matchup regardless.

Match 4: KJ Orso & Sam Stackhouse vs Jack Perry & Marko Stunt

Orso and Stackhouse made a point of attacking Stunt when he announced his retirement due to injury. Stunt’s neck is absolutely f***ed up but Jack Perry is here to even the odds and reunite with the other third of Jurassic Express! AEW national champion Jack Perry rolls up in a Jurassic Express bus driven by Luchasaurus!!! Orso has his finest Ric Flair style robe. Stackhouse seems to be wearing a Hefty bag with a denim vest over it. Perry is gonna work the bulk of this match I would assume….but then Stunt blind tags in to fight Stackhouse. Alright kid, time to die. Sam doesn’t want to fight him. He tags out. KJ is happy to talk trash and bowls Stunt over. Stunt with a floss, a pair of birds and a dropkick before getting Perry back in there. Some tandem attacks lay out Orso. stunt wants to follow up but Stackhouse gets a blind tag and the murder begins. Orso with a blatant dropkick to the back of Marko’s Neck. Jaysus. They trap him in the corner and double eye poke him. Perry keeps getting laid out but he’s right in position once Stunt finally escapes. Step up senton! Butterfly powerbomb! Kickout! KN escapes a doomsday scenario. X plex to Perry! Stackhouse with a crossbody to Stunt. Gourd! Perry breaks up the pin! Stackhouse goes for a cannonball. Orso goes coast to coast…KJ wipes out Stackhouse! Orso tries a stomp on Stunt but eats a mule kick! Perry and Marko fly to the floor! German suplex with a jackknife! Orso kicks out! Stackhouse is stirring on the floor. Stunt with a super tornado codebreaker! Sam makes the save! Perry with a destroyer to Stackhouse! Stunt with a 450! Sam launches Marko into the air on the kickout! Sam grabs marko and hits a Fire Thunder driver….Stunt out at one!!!! He slaps the hell out of Stackhouse. Perry throws him to hit a codebreaker! Orso tags in, draws a distraction and hits Perry low. Stomp connects! Perry kicks out! KJ grabs the national championship belt. Emil Jay tries to stop this but Stackhouse goes for the kill. Perry intercepts! Stackhouse sent to the floor and Marko dives on him! Emil Jay with a tornado ddt on KJ! Jurassic Express hit a torture rack flipping neckbreaker for the win!!!

Marko grabs the mic. “I’m f***ing back.” Big pop!

Match 5: The Sandman vs The Invisible Man (Sandman’s Final Match)

I love that this is how Sandman is going out. Utterly mad. First off, we get the entirety of “Enter Sandman”. He smokes and drinks his way to the ring, pouring beer in everyone’s mouths as is tradition. Emil Jay just hanging out in the ring as Sandman milks the hell out of this. He brings out Kendra Lust, who wields his trademark kendo stick and accompanies him to the ring as he finally makes his way there. You can tell the audio guy keep having to scrub the end of the song back a minute or so a couple of times. The crowd boos as the Invisible Man comes out and…he’s being managed by Bill Alfonso?!? Fonzie tweets his whistle all the way to the ring. Fonzie is hyping up IM…who swats the beer out of Sandman’s hand! Sandman throwing hands and chokes him in the corner! He drags IM out, grabs the kendo stick and cracks it into him repeatedly. Sandman with the big pose and Invisible Man hits him low. Fonzie gets into the match. Sandman is about to kill Fonzie but Artemis the Bizarre and the outbreak arrives. Veda Scott suggests this is the revenge of the ECW zombie?? And just like that, here’s Violent J, Too Tough Tony and Vampiro?!? They wipe out the zombies but get noggin knockered together by the Invisible Man. And now RICHARD HOLLIDAY is here?!? He takes a shot on Sandman. He’s about to go for the kill…but EARLY MORNING GUY STEEL IS BACK WTF IS HAPPENING. He tees off on Holliday! Top rope moonsault to Holliday! EmGS checks on Sandman but Invisible Man attacks him! A destroyer! Guy steel crumbles and rolls out. Sandman asks for Kendra to bring in the kendo stick again…she cracks him with the kendo stick! Invisible Man throws him throw a door! Fonzie congratulates her for buying in. Who’s coming out now?!? MISSY HYATT IS HERE?!? She lights up a cig and brings out her own kendo stick! Hyatt cracks Lust with the kendo stick and she swings it RIGHT. Back in the ring, Fonzie chokes Sandman with his foot. Sandman barely makes it to his feet before Invisible Man spears Sandman and the ref through another door! Sandman back up. He’s got his wood. He swings at Fonzie but Invisible Man low blows him again. There’s another ref. Sandman cracks him with the stick. Another ref, Invisible man takes him out. A parade of referees come out and Invisible Man and Sandman take turns destroying them. The ring is covered in dead refs! This rules. The crowd is wild for this ridiculous nonsense. Another ref? Fonzie sabu’s him with a chair! Fonzie holds Sandman for another low blow. Sandman still fighting. he hits a ddt! He makes the cover and a dozen refs tries to make the count. It’s 12 two counts all at once as Invisible Man kicks out! Sandman calls for a ladder but sandman gets it in the face. Wait a minute. INVISIBLE STAN IS BACK?!? Isn’t he dead?!? Fonzie tries to get Stan to join forces with his brother. It’s an invisible handicap match for a moment as Fonzie holds Sandman down to get invisible stomped! Car crash. MICK FOLEY IS HERE! Mick fight off the invisible men! Double arm ddt to invisible Stan! Mr Socko is out and Invisible Man chokes on sock! Sandman looks wary at his old rival. Mick tosses him Mr Socko and they hug in the center of the ring. And at that moment, they are both hit with low blows from invisible men. Invisible Man covers Sandman and gets the three! Nooooooooooo! Fonzie celebrates with the Invisible Men as Sandman sits shocked in the ring.

Foley is back up and has the mic. “Thank you sandman” rips through the crowd. He wasn’t planning to come…but then he thought about how important Sandman was in his early career. He says he doesn’t LIKE sandman but he does LOVE him and it’s an honor to be a part of his final match. Sandman cracks a final beer and leaves it in the ring as he rolls out and walks up the ramp one last time. Absolutely MAD match.

Match 6: Effy vs Allie Katch (Loser leaves GCW forever)

Effy has been in full crash out mode since losing the GCW championship to Atticus Cogar. Allie has been trying to talk sense back into him but this is the extreme she feels she needs to go to in order to help her friend. Effy gets the crowd chanting for BUSSY. Effy is not fine. Allie brings the fight and chases him to the top of the ramp. Effy thrown off the stage. She doesn’t love having to do this but she needs to bring Effy back to earth. Back in the ring, Allie with a quick piledriver! Effy back up with a Tarantula…he grabs a chair?!? He can’t hit her with it. He smacks her instead and boots her in the corner. He climbs the ropes but Allie sabu’s him and sends Effy flying down into the steel! She hits a legdrop, ramming Effy’s face into the chair. She sabu’s him again and Effy is busted open. “I’m fine! I don’t want this, you don’t want this” that doesn’t stop Effy from throwing the chair and hitting a surfboard stomp into it. Allie’s busted open now too. A hip attack, a crotch attack, a seated senton! Allie is mad as Effy goes hunting for more plunder. He grabs some broken wood and puts Katch into it. Allie with a muta lock but Effy gouges at her eyes! She comes running into a hip attack…Effy’s trunks are way down in the back. He’s literally showing his a** right now. Allie hits a sack ryder! Effy with a spear! Effy shatters the door over Allie’s head. Chokeslam into the chair! Kick out! Effy grabs a screwdriver from under the ring. He’s going full on The Shining in his madness coming for Katch with the weapon. Manders runs down to talk sense into Effy. Effy blasts Manders with the screwdriver! Hip attacks in the corner! Effy escorts the cannonball! He grabs the ring bell from amy rose. Parrow comes down to talk Effy down. He holds Effy back…but Effy kicks him low and cracks Parrow with the bell. Allie is bleeding heavy in the corner. Effy attacks Parrow with the screwdriver and the big man bails out of there. Effy right in Katch’s face. Allie still swinging but she is barely able to fight. Effy grabs a ring hook. Here comes Dark Shiek! She takes the hook away and clubs Effy with it when he runs in to take it back. Shiek turns to Allie and gives her the hook. Allie is a mess. Effy begging off and apologizing. She can’t take the shot and hugs Effy instead. Effy grabs the hook, headbutts her and stabs her with the screwdriver. Allie tries a rollup. No. Effy pulls her into a piledriver and spikes Allie down. Effy makes the cover and gets the three. Allie Katch is a bloody mess and is OUT of GCW. Katch cries as the crowd chants “Thank You Allie”. Effy is long gone. Victorious and “FINE”.

Match 7: Mance Warner & Steph De Lander vs Megan Bayne & ???

Who is Bayne bringing to the fight tonight? Mance and SDL don’t wanna waste time finding out and attacks Bayne during her introduction. But her partner IS waiting at the curtain. The Bell Tolls. That’s right. Bayne’s partner tonight is NICK F***ING GAGE. Spine buster to Mance. SDL doesn’t back down but Gage drops her with a ddt! Gage grabs Emil Jay to do his full introduction while he destroys Mance Warner with Bayne. The fight goes around the ring and through the crowd. I wonder if they’ll find Bear Bronson and Masato Tanaka still trading shots. We finally make it back into the ring and order has been restored. We have tags! Bayne getting brutalized by Warner and SDL. Gage finally in there and plows Warner through a door! Double falcon arrow! SDL and Mancer both kick out! Bayne and Gage fill the ring with chairs! Mance just grabs the steel and quickly punishes Gage. Bayne spears Mancer! SDL spears Bayne! Warner setting up a door. Tornado ddt into the wood but it goes full I AM THE TABLE. Owwwww. Bayne starts setting up chairs. Let’s have a bar fight. That doesn’t solve anything so Mancer and Steph sabu their opponents. Double chokeslam on Gage through some chairs. Bayne makes the save! Gage piledrives Warner into a chair. SDL pulls the ref out. Gage grabs the pizza cutter as we hear there’s two minutes left in the time limit. He cuts up Warner! Bayne with a powerbomb! Gage hits a piledriver on Warner and that’s all she wrote. Warner stays down for the three! Chaos. It’s 2:10amEST and we still have the main event to go!

Main Event: Joey Janela vs Brodie Lee Jr

14 year old Brodie begged for this match. Janela has beat him down a couple of times since. Janela forced Brodie’s mom to sign a waiver for this, invoking the spectre of the tragedy of Brodie Lee Sr in the promise. Brodie Jr WANTS this fight to be his first official match. He wants it to be Joey and he WANTS it in the main event of Spring Break. Well kid? Here we are. How many run-in’s do we have left tonight? Brodie Lee Jr’s training partners in the dungeon come out with him. He hugs his mom in the crowd. The crowd is firmly behind Brodie and Janela cannot fathom this. They lock up…Joey brings him right into the buckles. He easily bowls the kid over with a shoulder block. Brodie quickly snags the legs and puts Joey on his butt. Brodie is doing a good job of quickly reversing Janela and rolling him up…but he is literally half of Janela’s size. Everything he does tonight is leverage and speed. Brodie comes running..right into Joey’s boot. Brodie with a jumping elbow and he chases Joey around the ring….and runs right into a right hand when they roll into the ring. Janela soaks in the boos before he starts stretching this literal child. Obviously, Brodie is still learning. So my ONE comment on this is simply: Stop smiling. You hate Joey. This isn’t fun. Get your fight face on. That’s all. Past that, he’s doing an admirable job in what amounts to a David vs Goliath match. Every quick rollup is punished by a hard shot from Janela. But Janela can’t stop showboating and taunting the crowd. Brodie throwing punches and forearms! He chokes Joey in the corner! A trio of clotheslines! He fights out of a fireman’s carry..head scissor toss! Janela is staggering as Brodie cracks him with a knee to the jaw. A running knee flattens Joey for two! High cross body for two! He smacks Joey with some papers, he tries for a sharpshooter but Joey say hell nah. Brodie hits a heatseeker! Joey grabs a chair and whacks the kid. He pillmanizes the ankle! Janela laughing at Brodie Lee Jr as he pulls him up for an ankle lock. Brodie gets to the ropes. Back and forth with quick choked and reversals. Brodie working the knee and goes straight to his own ankle Lock. Joey barely makes the break. Brodie leaning on the ref a little as Joey chop blocks his knee out from under him. Joey with a figure four. Brodie trying to flip it….he reverses the pressure! Brodie and Janela trade forearms in the center….Joey doesn’t waste time and goes low. A jumping kick almost puts the lights out on Janela! Brodie reverses a tombstone and spikes Joey into the mat for another two! The ref checking on Brodie’s legs…the kid can barely walk. Joey with an AA….kick out! Joey goes for the piledriver but here’s our first run in….its CHRIS BEY. No one is allowed to help in this match and the officials send him back through the curtain. Brodie with a roll up in the distraction! Kick out! Argh! They fight to the apron…Brodie with a DDT! It’s wild to realize Brodie’s FIRST match is a near 30 minute main event match. They trade forearms….big boots drop each other. Brodie with the kip up and runs through Janela. Janela tries to Brodie Lee Sr’s discus clothesline….Brodie hits Sister Abigail! He tries the discus Lariat but a palm strike drops the kid. Brodie tries a springboard stunner…Janela catches him into a piledriver….KICK OUT! Janela takes Brodie to the top. Brodie fights off the dragon suplex..he hits a crossrhodes! Kick out! He hits his dad’s discus lariat! And he hits another! Joey is done but Brodie pulls the pin?!?!? He pulls from the well of training and slaps on a sharpshooter and Janela taps out!

Brodie’s mom runs into the ring to celebrate. Brodie’s training mates and family come to the ring to congratulate him on this absolutely crazy match he just had. Brodie’s little brother Nolan takes a look at Janela…and indicates that he’s coming for him next. The party continues in the ring as we go to black. Absolutely madness this show was. I’m wiped. Hope you liked this writeup. If you did, go ahead and watch this bizarro Fever Dream of a show back. The second half, “The Immortal Clusterf***ck” is tomorrow. See you then.

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