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5/4 WRESTLING OPEN WEEK 70 LIVE REPORT FROM WORCESTER, MA

Wrestling Open Week 70

5/4/23

It’s been 7 days since the Stetson Ranch stole the Wrestling Open Championship and IWTV Tag Team Championship belts from the Miracle Ones. 

Spotlight Match: Lucas Chase vs Prince Ahmed

Quick scuffle and Ahmed hits a slingshot mule kick. Chase with the anger and power. Big double chops but Ahmed trying to fight it off. Huge spine buster for two by Chase. Vertical suplex! Chase whiffs a senton…Ahmed with a straight jacket neckbreaker…slingshot straight jacket blockbuster! Pumphandle famouser?!? Prince Ahmed gets a win at Wrestling Open!!!

Winner: Prince Ahmed

Paul Crockett is on the commentary table as usual…and Sidney Bakabella is back?!? He must be doing his penance for losing his manager license. Rich Palladino is your announcer. Let’s do this!

Match 1: “The Rabid Honey Badger” Ryan Mooney vs Bobby Orlando 

Bobby offers a hand..Mooney gives it a sniff test  before shaking it. Bobby starting strong but Mooney with a couple of cheap shots early on put Mom on the backpedal. Mooney attacks like…well…a wild animal. Bobby stuffs a suplex and gets it back. Mooney keeps coming though, Bobby finally gets a solid shot in with a sitout Bobby bomb…but only a two. Mooney blocks a sick trick cutter..splash to the back..Bobby kicks out! Mooney drops the knee pad but whiffs entirely. Sick trick cutter! Dab into the three count!

Winner: Bobby Orlando

Match 2: Tiara James vs Zayda Steel

Tiara coming in but Zayda grabs that neck and grinds her down. Hard shoulder blocks and clotheslines drop James early. Tiara snatches her up and a gutbuster turns the tide quick. Corner spear and a gutbuster on the shoulder really softens that part of Steel up. Running splash for two. Zayda comes in, gets popped up and just eats mat. Tiara caught in the corner, running kick! High cross body for two! Tiara catches Zayda running with a spine buster for the three!

Winner: Tiara James

Match 3: Flip Gordon vs RJ Rude

This is probably gonna be a blast. I’m gonna watch this back tomorrow. I can’t concentrate right now for reasons.

Update: wow. What a fun experience. Flip gets absolutely REKT for being (as some point in the past) a flat earther. RJ is over with this crowd and really want him to get a good showing ahead of his Thrown down with Brian Milonas. Flip is doing some fun stuff but he is explicitly NOT giving the crowd the fun stuff they are used to. On the other hand, the crowd did not give Flip the reaction he is used to. RJ is having a bad time through a lot of this. Good spot with Flip superkicking him out of the air on a moonsault…but the crowd and his desire to preen get to be too much and RJ catches him sleeping and rolls up for the three! Welcome back to MA, Flip Gordon! He yells that he’ll be back. Maybe we’ll have covid masks and Fauci Ouchie posters next time. XD

Winner: RJ Rude

Match 4: Travis Jacobs vs Gal Barkay

Travis is screwed, I think. Gal looks great but Jacobs is actually pretty powerful too. Barkay getting tossed around early but it’s really just making him mad. Big shotgun out of the corner. He goes for the pendulum but Jacobs reverses to a vertical shoulder breaker. Yeow! Travis comes off the ropes, Gal with a huge sitout bomb for the win!

Winner: Gal Barkay

Match 5: Antonio Christiano Zambrano (w/ Alex Cypher) vs Landon Hale

Welcome back to the Good Doctor! Cypher tries to give him a yellow card but no one likes that band. ACZ trying to scramble but Landon is absolutely on point. A couple of crucifixes. A back cracker out of the corner! ACZ capitalizes on a Cypher distraction to pull the doc off the top rope! Zambrano taking as many liberties as he can, the ref should red card him! Tilt a whirl backbreaker! Lawn dart into the corner! Big German for two! ACZ connects with a knee and hits the soccer kick for the win. Great showing from Hale.

Winner: ACZ

Match 6: Beautiful Brad Baylor vs Love Doug

God, i hate Baylor already. I don’t remember him from the last time he was here…but I remember his stupid hair and gross tan. Doug isn’t doing much in the opening minutes as Baylor is just manhandling him. Doug dodges a kneedrop and this is the moment. Bulldog out of the corner! Slice of Love is dodged but he hits the rebound and this Ken doll’s head is popped off for the three. 

Winner: Love Doug

Match 7: Mortar vs Rex Lawless 

Mortar has bit off a way bigger piece than he can chew tonight. Rex is tossing Mortar around with ease. Mortar tries to escape but…nah. Mortar is just getting destroyed. This is great. Finally Mortar dodges a big boot…dragon screw over the top rope. Mortar slingshots with a cross body! Big senton out of the corner. He starts leg twisting Rex’s neck. The crowd is alllllll over Mortar. Rex catches another cross body. Fallaway slam! Rex going wild! Huge spear for two! Mortar back…lionsault for two! Big corner spear from Mortar! He’s back on that knee of Lawless. He tries the F5 but Rex slips it and hits the chokebomb for three!

Winner: Rex Lawless

Pedro Dones is out here and calls himself the uncrowned king and he calls out Ichiban, who isn’t here. He’s got unfinished business with Miracle Generation though and calls his shot on Kylon King’s back.

Match 8: Pedro Dones vs Kylon King

If Pedro was feeling confident, King just changed that position in a millisecond. He just flies in and unloads. Huge dive into the hard cam! Dones running for cover but Kylon chases him down. Kylon gets run into the post, Dones with a big slam to the apron and he’s, as promised, targeting the back. Dones with big suplexes and yeets King into the corner. Dones whips Kylon sideways through the buckles JEEEEESUS CHRIST! Kylon is in deep trouble, tries a rollup but Dones keeps the pressure on. King pushes off the corner, huge lariats! Exploder! Both guys on fumes but Kylon reverses a whip to a shotgun for two! The back is an issue. Kylon hits a German but can’t bridge it right and Pedro’s out at two. Kylon going for a moonsault but Pedro picks him off and hits a backbreaker over the shoulder for the clean win. The crowd hates this but Pedro worked a smart match tonight.

Winner: Pedro Dones

Match 9: Aaron Rourke vs Fancy Ryan Clancy (w/ TJ Crawford) 

Man, this becomes a fight right away as they battle to the ringside immediately. Clancy with the monkey flip and right to the arm bar. Rourke with hard knees in the corner. Loud chops and foot chokes. He’s grinding the Fancy one down and trying to choke him from behind. Clancy with the reversal…Rourke rolls through to a double stomp! Knee drop and a knee drop moonsault for two! Rourke with a flashy headstand in the corner but Fancy dropkicks him in the gut! A knee and another dropkick! That was fancy! Rourke trying to escape but flipped into a ddt for two! Clancy measuring him…Rourke escapes the side Russian! Spear! Kick out! Rourke trying to kill Clancy on the post…he hesitates! He’s conflicted? Clancy with a quick roll up, Rourke goes for a punt but it’s dodged into a side Russian for the win! What just happened? 

Winner: Fancy Ryan Clancy

Main Event: Big Bacon Brad Hollister vs Marcus Mathers

I’m still curious about this whole “Bacon’s gang” thing. Let’s see where this goes. Bacon is so pumped full of aggression juice. Mathers using that Bane rage against him. He tries to wear the savage baconator down but Brad keeps firing up. Hollister powders and regroups. He offers a spot in his gang to Mathers??? Of course it’s a trap! Mathers ready for the swerve and sweeps Bacon off his feet. Hard kicks…northern lights for two! Brad walks off a dive and runs back with a senton for…one. Brad is getting triggered by that number. Big Germans! Marcus with a comeback but Bacon is just trucking him at this point. Mathers with a high crossbody stuns the bagga bacon bits. Stunner! Big German…bridge for two! Marcus slips the jackhammer…rolling cutter! Swanton bomb! Bacon kicks out! Mathers going for a bomb….Bacon with a lariat. He tries again..Bacon catches him and bombs him back! Brad screaming at Mathers to quit. Trading slaps back and forth! Mathers unloading forearms! Shots to the head, double lariats! Double down! Crowd is fired up as we hit the 15 min mark of this utter war. Bacon rolls out! Marcus with the kip up…Bacon uppercuts Mathers out of the sky. Spinning facebuster for two! Brad is ENRAGED! He goes for the jackhammer..Mathers with a sunset flip Bomb! Plancha over the top! Corkscrew facebuster! Bacon kicks out! Marcus comes running, Brad send him over the top and quickly jumps up to hit the deadlift jackhammer for the win. Fantastic match. This was so f***ing good. 

Winner: Brad Hollister

Bacon says he has unfinished business with Fancy Ryan Clancy. The Fancy Snipers come to the ring. Bacon says they are gonna GANG up on him. TJ drops to the floor and lets Clancy handle business. Clancy says he likes his Bacon crispy and he wants a FIGHT next week. Bacon agrees on one condition….NO DQ. Clancy considers and Bacon headbutts him in the chin. Cheeeeeapshot Bradley! TJ runs Brad off as Clancy clears the cobwebs and accepts the stipulation! 

Meanwhile…

 

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