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3/26 BEYOND WRESTLING 'TEST OF TIME' LIVE REPORT FROM WORCESTER, MA

Beyond Wrestling “Test of Time”
3/26/2023 - Worcester, MA

It’s a rare day I don’t make a Beyond show live in person but it was PAXEast Weekend (and I’ll have some write-ups about content from the floor later this week) and I heard all about the mad show happening a hour west of my position. So let’s see how the IWTV VOD is. Paul Crockett and SIDNEY BAKABELLA are on commentary??? The “cutest couple in Beyond Wrestling Commentary rides again? Rich Palladino is your announcer! Let’s get to it!

Match 1: Rex Lawless & Willow Nightmare vs Teddy Goddz & Little Mean Kathleen

LMK is just straight up MAD that Rex and Willow are such a loving couple and she can’t even get Love Doug to show up. Where is heeeeee?!? She’s calling him in the middle of the ring on her phone? WHERE ARE YOUUUUUU WHO ARE YOU WITH?!? This is already amazing. 

As for the match, Willow takes the master of the toy universe for a little do si do and lets her pectoral Poseidon muscle him over. Willow and Rex are just overjoyed to be working the same match together and LMK is just UPSET. Willow tries to get her to calm down. No luck. LMK is just rabid and jogs those stomps all over Willow. Flavorbomb for two. LMK hits a Samoan drop on Willow?!? Damn,she’s fired up! Teddy tries to slam LMK into Willow but Nightingale rolls away and LMK is down. Rex unloading. LMK wants a shot and she just bounces off Rex’s Pecs. She bites his hand. THAT gets his attention. Tornado ddt!Teddy helps make the cross body worthwhile and Willow makes the save. LMK wants the Dudley dog but Rex catches her….Big lariat power bomb combo. Teddy makes the save. Teddy is firing up on Rex but he wipes out the ref accidentally. Rex hits a spear but there’s no ref! LMK is furious and kicks Rex low! Willow returns the favor to Teddy! Double forearm, everyone’s dead. The Tender Weapon is out here?!?! He’s counting both team’s down….with multiple gyrations. LMK is furious that Doug sent his friend to help. LMK tries to run in on Rex, Willow blasts her with a pounce! Teddy can’t get the backpack stunner, Willow stuns him. Chokebomb from Rex and Teddy is done! What a wierd stupidly fun match to kick this show off!

Winner: Rex Lawless & Willow Nightingale

Match 2: Ray Jay vs Alex Coughlin

Ray Jaz has wanted matches at Beyond and he certainly has a TEST in the exceptionally strong and hard hitting Alex Coughlin. I love the sound mix today because the booing is loud enough that I really can’t hear Ray Jaz’s stupid tip. Ray’s DAD is at ringside?!? I missed getting to boo Ray Jay in front of his DAD?!?! <shakes fist at the heavens> Jaz definitely has a physical match in Coughlin, who just takes it right to the Jersey Legend. Jaz tries to powder and Alex chases him right down. Deadlift slam! Coughlin runs Ray over! Alex is all over Ray but gets picked into a running back suplex. Jay starts going to work, stomping and shoulder blocking the big man. Taking his wind. Coughling tries to fire back, Jaz goes for the eyes. Big German for two. Worcester trying to get under Ray’s skin but he just hits fireman’s carry takeover to a clean DVD for two. Jay guts himself on the post! Coughlin tosses him! Crackin’ chops! Ray is staggering as he gets sent flying across the ring. Coughin hits a scoop reverse slam. Awesome. Jay tossed up….powerbomb! Jay kicks out! Jay tries the flying backslide but Alex catches him. Jay whiffs a high cross body. Coughlin blocks the jazmission…..hard slaps to the face! He picks up Jay into a vertical suplex….and stands up! What power! Jay reverses the suplex, lands on his feet and traps the backslide pin and Coughlin is stuck for the three!

Winner: Ray Jaz

Match 3: Dan Barry vs Ichiban

This is a clash of two fan favorites and it starts exactly as it should, with Dan Barry confidently controlling Ichiban through several holds. Ichiban stuns Dan, lands this ten one punches in the corner. Flying chop to the head! Barry catches a wheelbarrow to a cutter. Great reversal! Ichiban throwing some rights up but Dan just blasts him down with an uppercut. Huge flapjack slam, sick landing. Wowwwwww. Dan wants the burning hammer….Ichiban flips out and head scissors Barry to the floor. Dan ducks a high cross body….Swanton? Ichiban catches him up top….he drives punch after punch into the top of Dan’s head….Dan almost has a power slam set but Ichiban turns it into a dot from the top for the win! This was a lot of fun. Ichiban is super over and growing better with every appearance. Dan Barry has to be frustrated, putting in yet another banger of a performance, showing he can hang with the up and comings….but once again, can’t BEAT them. 

Winner: Ichiban

Match 4: Milk Chocolate (Brandon Watts & Randy Summers) vs Wasted Youth (Marcus Mathers & Dyln McKay)

MC just ambushes Wasted Youth on their introduction. Dyln goes for a bad flight to the floor and Marcus gets unloaded on. Dyln back in as the bell hits and just tears apart Summers in the opening moments. Watts tries to interfere….Dyln with a pele kick and Watts flies off the apron. Crazy sequence of double teams! Marcus might be more well known here but Dyln is showing OUT today. Watts finally catches Dyln with a slam to the apron and McKay starts taking the heat from MC. Dyln creates space but the crafty vets keep Marcus off the apron. Dyln unloads superkicks! Tag to Mathers finally! Young Prodigy taking Milk Chocolate to the fire tiger bomb to Summers for two! Watts intercepts a Moonsault by Dyln with a super kick! Milk Chocolate unloading on McKay. Huge waterfall of big moves. Mathers drops Summers with a poisonrana to bring the crowd right into a frenzy. Summers and Mathers throwing hard forearms…code breaker moonsault tombstone combo to Summers. Awesome sequence! He kicks out?!?! Watts is feigning injury and the ref is distracted….Summers raking eyes and posting Wasted Youth. Watts is unsurprisingly magically better. Dyln eats a double shoulder breakers for the win! Sick tag match.

Winners: Milk Chocolate

Milk Chocolate accuses Miracle Generation of DUCKING THEM….even though they called out sick of their title opportunity. They aren’t waiting for next month….I suspect we’re gonna see them on a Thursday night soon.

Match 5: Big Bacon Brad Hollister vs Big Beef Gnarls Garvin

This is a big power match. Early stalemates, Bacon thinks he’s gonna trick Big Beef but he gets the presses and power slammed. Gnarls is super hype for this fight and Hollister says…BYE. And tries to leave…Garvin drags him out on a chair! He goes round the world but Bacon dodges and Beef wipes out. His foot goes through the chair owwwwwwwwwwwww that looked rough. Hollister swarms and starts dropping hard shots. Beef keeps coming in but Brad is trying to take his arms off. Beef powers out of the tornado jackhammer…..big earthquake splash! Kick out! Beef standing right in front and throwing stiff rights. Brad fighting back! A pair of huge knees make Beef go limp. He pulls him up but the two big men both hit crossbodies and they crash to earth hard. Bacon slips a power bomb attempt…..popup bomb! Kick out! Bakabella is flustered! How do you keep Garvin down?!? Bacon running Beef down…bad move as Gnarls lands shot after shot…spinning back fist! Cross body through the ropes! Splash misses and he blows out his knee…..Bacon posts him….Brad hits the deadlift jackhammer and Gnarls Garvin stays down this time!

Winner: Brad Hollister

Match 6: Best Bros (Mei Seruga & Baliyan Akki) vs Best Hoes (B3CCA & Aaron Rourke)

Bakabella cannot contain his giggling at Rourke/B3CCA’s team name. Rourke thinks twice about wanting to fight Seruga’s energy and gives her to Becca. Test of strength, Mei sweeps her! She grabs the wrist and slingshots off the ropes over and over, finally hitting an arm drag. Akki in there to pop Mei up for a double stomp. Big pose and Rourke just blindsides them while they are distracted. The Hoes are showing off now. Maybe a little too much as Mei and Akki dodge and start tossing Becca around the ring. Becca caught in a double team abdominal stretch. Mei uses her like a chair to make fun of Rourke. The timepiece has had enough. 619 to Akki and Becca germans him for two. Becca and Rourke cutting up Akki with chops and kicks. Baliyan chops the life out of her. Jeeeeesus. Tilt a whirl backbreaker! Mei’s in and she scares Rourke off the apron. Becca can’t handle her speed. Mei rolls her around but Becca kicks free.Mei gets the first snap walks the ropes. She stuns Rourke do the safe…The Dimepiece is furious but Mei wraps him in a rear naked choke….jackknife pin? Kick out! Mei with a muta lock cattle mutilation?!?! Rourke catch into a reverse atomic drop. Owwww. Rourke with a top rope Rana…Akki rolls through! Kick out! Rourke with a spine buster….Best Bros with a gut buster/double stomp combo! Mei ddts him on the apron! Kick out! Awesome. B3cca breaks up the chicken fight chokeslam…She up on Rourke’s shoulders….high angle elbow drop! Akki kicks out! Bros get rana’d into each other. Akki catches Becca with a big boot! Senton to Rourke. Becca saves it! This has been frickin’ wild! They get into a chicken fight! Mei chokeslams Becca down onto Rourke. Best Bros try the dolphin splash but Rourke gets his knees up! Akki sent to the outside, Becca hits the 450 and the win! This ruled!

Winners: Best Hoes

We go to intermission. When we come back, Willow Nightingale has replaced Sidney Bakabella at the commentary table. Before we go to the next match, Clara Carreras blows through the curtain, furious that Megan Wayne used her as a victim in her return last month. She calls Megasus out here to fight her. There’s no ref. This isn’t a match, Not officially anyways. Clara steps right up to Wayne and unloads a huge slap. Megan throws a huge knee and starts pummeling Clara. She gets Clara up for a suplex, Clara knees free. Shannon LaVangie runs out in a ref’s shirt, trying to help Clara. Bayne kicks out of the count. She hits a reverse F5 on Clara and puts a foot on her for Shannon to make the world’s slowest count….and it doesn’t matter because Clara is DONE. Shannon is forced to hold Bayne’s hand up….And Megan crushes her with a clothesline. Megasus is BACK.

Match 7: Hot Sauce Tracy Williams vs Fancy Ryan Clancy

Tracy Williams wants to show Clancy what he was missing last month when he fell to Zack Sabre Jr. This is aggressive right out of the gate, Williams running right in on Clancy. Williams with a hard knee and a doctor bomb. This is hard hitting right away. What lesson is Tracy trying to teach Clancy today? Will Clancy be coherent enough to learn anything after these hard forearms? Clancy finally fighting back! Big dropkick for two! Clancy catches Hot sauce off the ropes….butterfly suplex float over to a pin for two! Williams blocks a monkey flip….ddt to the top buckle! Williams with a deep armbar…launch over to a stomp on that shoulder. Clancy tries a leapfrog but Williams spears him out of the air! Clancy reverses and tries for a single leg crab….Clancy is starting to be more aggressive, just throwing kicks into Tracy. Monkey flip connects! Fancy splash? He slips and Hot Sauce catches him with the arm bar on the way down….Clancy back to his feet…Tracy trying to keep it locked but Clancy hits the side Russian, traps the arm and gets the pin!!! He did it!

Winner: Fancy Ryan Clancy

The Beyond Wrestling Classic Theme “Bro Hymn” kicks this next match off…WAIT, IS BIFF HERE???….and it’s World Class Channing Thomas and Sidney Bakabella who blow through the curtain looking for that cheap pop. Nope….The crowd boos at them along to the song. This is pretty great. 

Match 8: World Class Channing Thomas vs Rickey Shane Page

Beyond Co-FOunder RSP is here to shut the mouth of “Mr. Beyond”….Channing blasts RSP in the face with brass knuckles before the bell. They struggle to get him back into the ring. RSP says he can go….Channing hits the Missouri tollbooth but RSP kicks out. He’s in a rough spot….but he gets a foot up! Crossbody! Swanton bomb for two! Channing trying to get back into it, comes flying, Rickey just walks away from it. RSP wants the choke bomb, Bakabella throws in a chair and they do a Guerrero takeout…..but Scott Robinson catches onto the shenanigans. Thomas starting to hit big shots but RSP hits the big enziguri and a GTF. Christ that is a move. Bakabella tries to pull the feet on a suplex but RSP stomps on his hands lollllll. Page to the top…..frog splash! Kick out! Bakabella throws powder! Channing has his feet high on the ropes…..Kick out! Rip fights out of a Boston crab. RSP fights off the pile driver….roaring elbow! Bakabella pulls the leg again and passes off a plate to Channing. Thomas stuffs the kneepad….Missouri Tollbooth connects! The ref misses it entirely and RSP is KO’d for the three! Paul Crockett is shocked to realize how Channing has been winning matches with that knee all along! World clASS steals another one!

Winner: Channing Thomas

Match 9: Miracle Generation (Dustin Waller & Kylon King) vs Above the Rest (Gabriel Skye & Tristan Thai) (for the IWTV Tag Team Championships)

These teams haven’t clashed since the finals of the Uncharted Territory Season 3 Discovery Gauntlet at the first Wrestival! These teams have grown so much in that time so the crowd is VERY hype for this title clash! The two heavy hitters of these teams kick it off, Kylon and Thai fight to a stalemate. Dustin and Skye speed things up. This is an early high velocity chess match. The champs start to work over Thai early as they keep Gabe at bay. Skye pulls Thai to safety but Miracle fakes them into a suicide dive from King. Crockett and Willow are blown away at how much Miracle is dominating early. And then Kylon lands on his knee wrong….and the tide changes immediately. ATR starts targeting King and his injured limb. Thai with a stretch muffler while Gabe unlocks kicks. This is a rough beatdown to watch. King tries the double northern lights but Skye kicks out the knee. Thai with a reverse rikishi driver, that knee is getting jacked up. King escapes a double stomp and Thai eats it…..push off, tag to flash! Poikonrana! Thai gets dvd’d into it! Kylon back in by Thai stunts him with a Kick. Kick flurry on Dustin….flash is fighting back but eats a dragon suplex for his trouble. Double PK to Flash….Kylon leaps off the top to make the save! These teams are killing each other for the gold! Kylon. Back in, he throws a hard knee and wipes himself out…FLASH hits the cutter! Kylon can’t lift Skye and this knee is a liability. They try the monkey flip knee but Flash is out of there and ATR collides again…..Thai is wiped out. Kylon struggles to the top and MG hits the powerplex for the win!

Winners: Miracle Generation

Main Event: Bobby Orlando vs Joey Janela

The Bad Boy returns to Worcester as Orlando is getting his first chance to shine in his first Beyond main event! Joey does a handstand during his intro and even Mom has to admit that was a sick trick. Early graps and reversals until Joey says “I’m your Mom”…to MOM! Bobby says “I’m a Bad Bish!” Both are trying to get in the other’s head as they can’t get a physical advantage early. Joey with a cheap shot to the jaw. He is a bad boy. He gets Bobby Jr! He’s going for a punt but Bobby charges In to save his goatson. Big slam off the top! Joe hits snap German! Janela sends Bobby to the floor and lawn darts himself right after. Orlando is tossed back in and he quickly dives back out to Janela. This is really even. Dab dropkick?!? Bobby hitting corner punches but Joey hits a power bomb out of nowhere….It’s Doors! There’s some doors in this house! We got chairs too. These rules are getting nice and relaxed today. Bobby gets caught trying the sick trick cutter…Joey with a dvd through a door! Kick out! Joey lands a brutal chair shot to the lower back, we are firmly in the bad boy’s territory now. Bobby has door fragments and we have a duel on! Joey is having a grand ol’ time until Orlando shotguns him through a door! Joey back up and duplexes Bobby into a chair owwwwwww. Bobby cracked with wood and he’s dabbing in defiance. Slugging it out in the center! They pick up the pace as the crowd fires up. Double clothesline, double down! Battle to the apron and chops a plenty….Joey sent to the floor but he intercepts Bobby trying that sick trick cutter……Janela hits an air raid crash to the apron jeeeeeeez. Joey is gathering up whatever debris he can and hits a razor’s edge into a a bent up chair. Kick out! Crowd is chanting for Bobby! Jane sets up a chair quad. He wants to pile driver Bobby off the second….Bobby sends him back…SICK TRICK CUTTER THROUGH THE CHAIRS!!!! Joey kicks out at the last possible second. Bobby making a garbage pile and slams Joey right into it. He wants the Moonsault…..whiff! Joey hits a package pile driver and that’s al—Bobby kicks out! Go Bobby Go Bobby Go Bobby! Joey with a rolling elbow and brain buster! He winds up the lariat….Bobby’ fighting back! Running forearms…..superkick! Bobby slips to a backstabber! Bobby grabs another door! We got the table setup with chairs….Joey laid out…but rolls away from the dab elbow and sabu’s Orlando. Superplex through the door! Slow roll over from Janela….kick out! Joey is fired up. Double stomp into a chair! Bobby kicks out again! Jane has those insane wild eyes going on. We have another door! Joey sets it up…what’s coming? He’s throwing knees into Bobby….Superkick..Orlando is basically limp….Sudden spark of life! DVD through a chair! Joey on the door! Dab elbow through the door! Joey stays down for the there!!! This was a classic Joey Janela chaos match and it has been a while since we’ve seen it done at this level of sheer madness before. Hell of performance by Bobby who walks away with what feels like one of his biggest singles wins ever.

Winner: Bobby Orlando

Joey is frustrated at the loss….but offers Mom his hand. Crockett calls this a passing of the torch as Joey shakes Bobby Jr. hoof as well. Te crowd wants Joey to come back obviously…and I’m sure the Bad Boy doesn’t want to leave Worcester with an L on the books. 

 

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