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WWE RAW XXX REPORT: TWO TITLE MATCHES, A TRIAL, A CAGE MATCH?, AND MORE

By Richard Trionfo on 2023-01-23 23:00:00

Your announcers are Corey Graves and Kevin Patrick.

Hulk Hogan makes his way to the stage with Jimmy Hart. 

Hogan wants to know what’s up in Philadelphia.  He says a long time ago when Hulkamania was running wild, a little show called Raw started.  Week after week it got bigger and it got stronger.  Hogan’s mic goes out but he says we are here to celebrate 30 years of Raw.  We are celebrating together and he asks ‘Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania and the Eagles run wild on you’.

Roman Reigns, Solo Sikoa, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, and Paul Heyman make their way to the ring.

Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, and Solo Sikoa make their way to the ring.

Sami Zayn is in the ring with the official talking segment table and talking segment microphones.

Paul hands Roman a microphone and he tells Philadelphia to acknowledge him.

Roman says they should get down to business.

Roman hands Paul the mic and everyone but Solo and Paul sit down at the table and Sami sits against the ropes.

Paul introduces himself and he says he heard a cheer of three letters near and dear to him.  The crowd chants ECW again.  Paul says ECW is dead and he says he wishes the same for Sami Zayn.  He says that Sami is a Judas and the betrayer of the Island of Relevancy.  He has been in a conspiracy with Kevin Owens since day number one.  Sami has been making them feel good about how much he belongs in the bloodline.  He makes them feel like the fans of the Philadelphia Eagles.  Paul says they will feel like the Eagles fans after BROCK Purdy defeats them.

Paul says this is an open and shut case.  He has exhibits but he only needs to show four pieces of footage that Sami Zayn is guilty as charged.

Paul shows exhibit A.  A video from August 12th when Drew McIntyre attacked the Usos but Sami runs away.  Paul asks where was Sami.  He was running away like the gutless coward he is.
We go to Exhibit B:  Raw on August 29th when he refused to hit Kevin Owens with the chair and Jey lost his match.

We go to Exhibit C.  After War Games, Sami Zayn is on the top of the cage celebrating the victory for individual glory.  He gives a ‘4 Life’ symbol.

We go to Exhibit D:  Smackdown on December 23rd when he bumped into Roman Reigns during a promo.  Paul says that is assault on the Tribal Chief.  Do you want to commit Euthanasia on his father or castrate his son so you could be the Head of the Table.

If you are guilty of nothing else, you are guilty of assault.

Paul wants this rat bastard guilty as charged.

Paul says the Prosecution rests.

Sami gets up and he says he had a whole defense all lined up and laid out in his head.  What he did not expect was how he felt when he came out here.  Listening to Paul say that to his face after every time he hugged him, that hurts.  Sami says watching you play that video and craft that video to make him look bad.  Do you think he is trying to work with Kevin Owens or take over?  The fact that you would think that hurts.

After everything that has gone one.  These people see it.  They have seen it all over the last nine months.  To make him sit here and be on trial to defend himself, that hurts.

Sami says his defense is that he has no defense.

Roman looks around and he takes a mic.

Roman wants to get this straight.  You don’t have a defense?  You got so much ego you won’t fight for this?  You have so much ego that you can’t argue for this?  I give you opportunity after opportunity and this is the respect you give me?

Roman calls for Solo.

Solo gets behind Sami and he sets for a Samoan Spike but Jey stops him.

Jey says he means no disrespect but he put together some footage.

We see Exhibit A.  From June 3rd, Sami playing Roman’s music to distract Matt Riddle to retain the tag titles.

Exhibit B from August 19th when Sami took a Claymore for Roman.

Exhibit C is from September 9th when Sami took a chair shot for Solo.
Exhibit D from December 9th when Sami stopped Sheamus from breaking up a cover.

Exhibit E from War Games when Sami stopped the referee from making the three count and then hit Kevin low.

Jey says it is right there on tape and on film for the whole world to see.  This man has took so many bullets for him, Roman, and the entire Bloodline.  He says Sami is bulletproof.  Jey says we know that he despised him and didn’t trust him.  You say the good in him the entire time.  That is what family do.  That tape demonstrates loyalty and love to this family.  Jey says he loves Sami like a brother.

Jey tells everyone to show their support for Sami to stay in the Bloodlline.  Jimmy joins in with the crowd but Paul, Solo, and Roman do not.

Roman stands up and he says as your Tribal Chief and Head of the Table, he finds Sami Not Guilty.

Roman says . . . for now.  Roman tells Sami to thank Jey because he bought Sami more time.  This is how it is going to go.  Finish out tonight and make the Bloodline proud, but he does not want to see or hear from Sami until Saturday.  He will see him at the Royal Rumble.  That is where you are going to deliver your final test.  We will see if Sami Zayn really is The Bloodline . . . or not.

Jey puts his lei around Sami's neck and then Sami hugs Jey and Jimmy.

Match Number One:  Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso (with Sami Zayn) versus Dominik Mysterio and Damian Priest (with Finn Balor and Rhea Ripley) for the Raw Tag Team Championship

Priest and Jimmy start things off and Priest with punches.  Jimmy sends Priest to the floor and Priest blocks a kick but Jimmy with a dragon whip.  Priest moves out of the way on a dive to the floor and then Dominik grabs Jimmy on the floor and Jimmy punches Domiinik.  Priest with a shoulder tackle that sends Jimmy into the announce table.  Dom tags in and he this a slingshot senton.  Dom chokes Jimmy in the ropes and Finn punches Jimmy.  Dom with punches and he tags in Priest.  Priest with a kick to the chest.  Priest with a jumping back elbow for a near fall.  Priest stretches Jimmy. 

We see Paul, Solo, and Roman in the back.

Priest with a forearm to the lower back.  Priest tries to connect with another forearm but Jimmy with a clothesline.  Jey and Dom tag in and Jey with a jumping clothesline followed by another clothesline.  Jey with an uppercut and kick followed by a Samoan drop.  Jey with a running hip into the corner for a near fall.  Dom with a punch and he blocks a kick but Jey with a dragon whip.  Priest tags in and he punches Jey.  Jey with an elbow and Jimmy tags in.  Jimmy stops South of Heaven and Jimmy and Jey with a double choke slam for a near fall.  Jimmy goes to the apron and Dom tries to stop him but Jimmy with a punch.  Priest with a punch to Jimmy and then to Jey.  Priest with splashes into the corner followed by a Broken Arrow on Jey.  Priest sets for a dive to the floor but Jimmy with a super kick.  Priest with a super kick to Jimmy and then he hits a springboard flip dive onto the Usos.

Priest with a running clothesline on Jimmy for a near fall.  Priest with an elbow into the corner and Dom tags in.  Priest with a spinning heel kick to knock Jey off the apron.  Priest gets Jimmy on his shoulders and Dom hits a Doomsday Device for a near fall.  Priest tags back in and he goes for a power bomb but Jimmy escapes.  Jey tags in and Jimmy with a super kick.  They give Dominik a double super kick and then they hit two double super kicks on Priest for a near fall.  Balor goes up top and he crotches Jey.  The referee sees Finn on the apron and sends him to the back.  Finn takes off his jacket but he cannot convince the referee to change his mind.  Other referees show up to escort Finn to the back. 

Priest gets his knees up on a frog splash and Priest gets a near fall.  Jey with a super kick and Jimmy goes up top and hits a frog splash for a near fall.  Jimmy with a plancha onto Priest.  Jimmy tries to send Priest back into the ring but Jimmy holds his knee. 

The medical staff comes out to check on Jimmy.

Adam Pearce comes out and the medical staff says that Jimmy cannot continue.  Adam says if he cannot continue, then they must forfeit the match and the titles.

Sami tells Pearce they can work things out.  Sami says we have an Uso down but Sami Uso is good to go.  He wants to defend the titles with Jey.

We cut to the Bloodline Room for their lack of reaction.

Adam says he did it for THE Judgment Day so he will do it tonight.

Sami and Dom exchange punches while Jey punches Priest.  Sami sends Dom to the floor with a clothesline and then Priest charges at Sami but Sami ducks down.  Sami with a flip dive onto Priest and Dom.  Sami sends Dom back into the ring and Priest grabs Sami.  Dom with a rollup and his feet on the ropes for a near fall.  Dom with punches but Sami with an exploder into the turnbuckles.  Rhea gets on the apron while Sami sets for a Helluva Kick.  Priest hits South of Heaven and Dom rolls over to Sami to get a near fall. 

Dom sends Sami into the ropes and sets for the 619 but Jey with super kicks to Dom and Priest but he stops short of Rhea.  Rhea tells Jey to hit her.  Dom drop kicks Jey into the ropes and hits a 619.  Dom with a frog splash but Sami breaks up the cover.  Priest with a forearm to Sami but Priest goes shoulder first into the ring post.  Dom sends Sami over the top rope to the floor (you know about Royal Rumble.  Sami tags in and Jey with a super kick.  They hit 1D for the three count.

Winners:  Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso (played by Sami Zayn) [retain championship]

Roman tells Paul he doesn’t want to see Sami until Saturday.

JBL and Baron Corbin walk in the back and they see The Godfather.  Godfather asks JBL who is with him and John says he is trying to get Corbin into the poker game.

Godfather tells Baron he is not on the list. 

John asks if they can talk to the owner to fix this problem.

Ron Simmons comes out and he wants to know who the stooge is.  John says he is his protege.  John asks them to check on the list and Baron gives them two stacks of money and Ron says they can find a spot for him.

They enter the door frame and John is impressed with the imprvements.

We see photos from the history of Raw.

LA Knight is in the ring and he wants to talk to you.

He says Bray brought back the Firefly Funhouse last week.  Knight asks if he was supposed to be afraid of that?  Bray is living on past glory and it got him thinking.  Raw is turning 30 and there are a bunch of legends running on past glory.  If any of those legends have enough tingle in their loins, why don’t you come out and he can give everyone a preview of the match at the Royal Rumble.

There is a gong and the building turns blue.  Then we get the BikerTaker music.

The Undertaker rides to the ring.

Knight tells them to cut Taker’s music. 

He says before we take this anywhere, he heard what Taker said on Joe Rogan.  He agrees that the locker room is soft and at the top of the list is Bray Wyatt.  He says he does not fall under that category.  Knight suggests the irony of the headline of LA Knight sends the Undertaker to the undertaker.  Knight says he will give Taker a pass and he will let him live to see another day and enjoy retirement and his family.

Knight says after his match on Saturday they will call him the Lord of Darkness.

The lights go out and then a spotlight appears on Knight.

The piano plays and Bray appears behind Knight and Knight backs up to the ring, but Undertaker is still in the ring.

Wyatt walks to the ring and Knight gets in the ring but Taker grabs Knight by the throat for a chokeslam but Taker looks at Bray.  Taker passes Knight to Bray for the assist on Sister Abigail.

Taker says something into Bray’s ear and walks to his bike to ride to the back.

We return to the poker game and Corbin asks why does Gable always fold and he says it is the genius move.  DDP shows a straight flush to win the hand and to say BANG.

The cage comes down for our next match.

 

 

 


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