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ICW NHB “Pitfighter X 14”
Wrestival Day 1 - 11pm
11/29/22 - Worcester, MA
Alright, this is my third show of the day. It’s drink o’clock. It’s time for some f***ing violence. Larry Legend is your announcer. Let’s goooooo!
Fight 1: AKIRA vs Alec Price
The Northeast Beast chants ringing loud. Price does his own introduction. Sweeeet. They prove their toughness by head butting the cage. Good graps to start. Akira takes a seat in a chair. Price is furious at the disrespect. Trading rollups. Hard shot from a 5 gallon on a pole. Akira lawn darts him into the steel. Reverse headlock with a swing. Alec is messed up but fighting. Kick to the nethers, hard bottle shot and a basement rana. Hard shots! Running leg lariat! Kick out! Akira slammed on a steel chair. I swear I don’t remember all this s*** in the ring. Am I just missing it get thrown in? Crowd split for these two. Snap suplex to Akira.kick out. Price calls for the finish but he eats a German instead. What WAS THE DEATH SENTENCE? Running knees in the corner! Akira with a slam to the single buckle. Both competitors take issue with a drunk fan and we got our first F*** that guy. Akira’s got a chair and blasts the spine. We got a door table. Price with a stunner escape! Powerbomb! Air raid crash through a chair! Kick out! That was threeeeeeeee! Price scales the chair and Akira nuts him. Northern lights! Kick out! Price on the door! Price intercepts! Hard shot to the head with the bottle pole! Toss through the door! Price with a cross body off the cage! Akira traps
Him in a kimura and starts throwing knees! Price is out! Akira weathering the storm of shots. Akira with a rolling kick. He picks up Price and drills him into a chair a death penalty. Price cannot survive this one.
Winner: Akira
Update: the gentlemen who inspired the F*** that guy chant has been removed. Violence is great, don’t be a f***ing dbag.
Fight 2: Chris Bradley vs Kristian Ross
It’s a slugfest at the bell. Bradley gets a chair but Ross just throws a different chair into his head holy shiiiiiiii-. We got doors. Ross spears Bradley through his own door. It’s real unfortunate how that turned out for him. We got tacks. Bradley got a chair but Ross lays him out again. Life is not going his way. Ross sets up a barbed wire door and Bradley finally slams
Him through something. He ties Ross to the cage and starts swinging chairs. Ross is ANGRY. Bradley wraps a chair round his head and starts whacking it with another chair. The ref HAS TO call this off. Chriiiiiist.
Winner: Chris Bradley
Fight 3: Jimmy Lloyd vs Hoodfoot
This is a SPLIT crowd. Hard slugging at the start and Jimmy slams a gusset into Hoodfoot’s head. Jimmy sabu’s him. Hoodfoot slams Jimmy into a barbed wire door. We got crimson. We also got carpet strips. DVD through a chair, ow. Hard chair shot to the head, Jimmy returns fire. Hoodfoot just throws Jimmy through the barbed wire door and Jimmy can’t kick out. Both guys are staring each other down as Jimmy leaves the cage. This does not feel settled.
Winner: Hoodfoot
Fight 4: Casanova Valentine vs Dr Redacted
My sick heart has been WAITING for this. The good doctor comes out in full Hannibal Lecter garb. Let’s goooooo! This is a partisan Casanova crowd but Redacted is intense. Step up leg lariat into the cage but Casanova catches him into a stampede. Hard pan shot and Casanova throws him out of the cage. This crawls into the crowd oh Jesus. I’ve lost the fight but they are over by the hard cam. Rich Palladino looks to be holding it for dear life like a champ. Over to the bar, there’s a U.S.A. chant??? Redacted jumps off the bar. Now he’s over here taking some doors. Now he’s on the cage… he puts a trash over his head and dives to the floor. Chaos is moving through the room. Casanova is somehow not dead and dragging Redacted back into the ring. I’ve lost the plot a little but Casanova is smashing gussets into Redacted’s head. Toss him into the cage so hard it looks like it might break. We have the dildo covered in nails out. Redacted frees himself of that hell and skewers Casanova. Kick out! This is BLOODY af. Casanova kicks him in the nuts and iron claws him through a door. Powerbomb through another door and Redacted is done. What an awesome clusterf*** that I could not look away from.
Winner: Casanova Valentine
We have an unexpected intermission as this match broke the damn cage!
Fight 5: Danny Demanto vs Masha Slamovich(c) (ETU Key to the East Championship match)
Masha has her sickle and ready to murder the ICW head honcho. Danny can’t handle Masha yelling at him in Russian. He tries to get a U.S.A. chant going but it’s Masha so we’re all Russian now. Danny walks through the crowd but only find one corner willing to side with him. Masha kicks the cage door open as she is sick of waiting. She just pummels Danny around the ring. The fights lost in the crowd again but I can see Masha dragging Danny over to the corner where plunder is waiting for upcoming matches. Danny to escape INTO the cage and Masha grabs some knives and chases hoo around the cage. Danny catches her and hits a brutal backbreaker. He guts her with a screwdriver. We got an exploding tack bat. Holy s*** that was loud. DVD through a door! Masha kicks out. Masha fired back as Danny’s distracted by the crowd…hard kicks and flesh meats cage! Masha sets up some chairs and gussets Danny. He hits a cutter into the chairs outta nowhere!!!! He puts Masha in a Dallas Cowboys jersey and folds her in half with a piledriver. Kick out! Danny’s got a body bag?!? He wraps up Masha in the bay. Zip it up. Danny is confident. Masha trying to fight free as Danny zaps her with a stungun. Foldup piledriver in the body bag! Masha kicks out!!!! She’s out of the bag! She’s furious and unloading shot after shot! Shining wizard! Kick out! Package piledriver! Kick out! She grabs the sickle and prepares to cut His throat and red Gina stops the match. Holy hell.
Winner: Masha Slamovich
John Wayne Murdoch is out here and refusing to fight SLADE because this is the worst venue and crowd he’s even worked at. I seriously doubt that sir. Lol. It’s time for SLADE to come out and JWM refuses to let him in the cage. That doesn’t stop him.
Fight 6: John Wayne Murdoch vs SLADE
JWM has gone full coward it seems. We got a LOT of gussets in the ring and SLADE fires him through a door and hits a huge slam onto the metal hell plates. It’s not enough but Murdoch is clearly not happy. He runs SLADE into the cAge and blasts him with scrap wood. He cuts up SLADE’s head with a knife. Blood only fuels him further. JWM is a bloody mess and SLADE is raging. JWM kicks low and slams SLADE down with a brain buster into the gussets for the win. This was fast.
Winner: John Wayne Murdoch
We’re setting up the main event. Mittens is sweeping and Atticus Cogar runs in a to dropkick him into the buckles. He calls out Danny Demanto. He says this attack was Danny’s fault. He vows to wreck everyone that is close Danny. He proceeds to skewer Mittens!!!! No!!! Danny runs in too little too late as Atticus jumps the cage and runs off. Mittens is a mess as he’s helped out of the ring.
Main Event: Brandon Kirk(c) vs Matt Tremont (for the American Deathmatch Championship)
We got the last of the f***ery in the cage now. Tremont is calm and patient. Suddenly a flurry of quick pin attempts and chain wrestling?!? Kirk grabs a bottle pole and blasts the bulldozer. Tremont has a tack bat and smashes it into Kirk. He gives himself a few shots to get the motivation flowing. Kirk getting blasted with bats and chairs and bottles. Tremont is methodical as he takes Kirk apart. Kirk back in a flurry and smashes a tack bat into his head. And now a gusset! And a chair buried all that into his skull. Matt won’t stay down so Brandon runs to grab more wood. We got a door table. Tremont is a mess. Kirk up on the cage….Tremont bats him but Kirk fights it off…he comes off the cage! Tremont catches him and goes through the door! Kirk bounced off a back to back chair but he doesn’t stay down. Kirk climbs the cage again but Tremont throws a chair. He tries to fork him. Kirk grabs it and plants the cutlery into Tremont’s head. Off the cage! Tremont’s out at one?!? Kirk sabu’s him and pulls back hard on a camel clutch. Tremont is a bloody mess and can’t fight back as the ref calls for the bell.
Winner: Brandon Kirk
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