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WWE “Crown Jewel 2022”
11/5/22 Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Streaming on Peacock
You’ve got me today giving the play by play of WWE latest controversial trip to Saudi Arabia. It’s been a hot second since I’ve watched a PREMIUM LIVE EVENT live. What a term. The kickoff crew says it with such emphasis. Stop trying to make it a thing. Lol. Logan Paul is in the main event fighting Roman Reigns for the undisputed wwe universal championship. I knew this was the case but my brain is still saying “What” about this. I expect this show to be a spectacle. The opening video has Titus O’Neil hyping the main event talking about how a single moment in time can change your career. He’s referring to the “lucky punch” Logan needs to hit to win…but WHAT a tongue in cheek nod to THAT moment in the Greatest Royal Rumble. BIG BOOM OF PYRO. Michael Cole and Wade Barrett are on commentary. It’s a very full stadium as we kick this off.
Match 1: Brock Lesnar vs Bobby Lashley
They are going heavy on the pyro tonight. Lashley entrance includes pyro firing off the top of the stadium itself. This is setting the tone of expectation for the whole night. Lashley’s mad that Lesnar cost him the US title so they have to fight about it. Of course Lesnar is still mad that Lashley got a W over him at the Royal Rumble. Lesnar’s got this Viking look to him these days. Lashley attacks Lesnar outside the ring before the bell! Spear on the outside. Spear on the inside. Spear through the barricade. A 4th spear but Lesnar kicks out. Brock can barely stand, his knee is trashed. Lesnar fights out of the hurt lock, he’s fired up and time to go to suplex city. He wants the f5, he fights through the knee pain and hits it! Lashley kicks out! Lashley slips another and clotheslines Lesnar to the floor. Lesnar posted. Lashley comes running…Lesnar picks him up, Lashley slips it, uranage! Hurt lock applied! Lesnar is struggling but it’s not like Lashley has been working the uppers at all this match. Brock fading. He tells the ref to shut up when he asks about giving up. Brock keeps the arm up on the third try, he makes it to the ropes, kicks off and falls back on Lashley. Bobby has the hold in but his shoulders are down and the ref counts the three. Lol. This was on track to be good like Lesnar/Goldberg at Mania and then this last minute just…lol. That said, Brock got whipped through this entire affair and barely survived against Lashley, much like the second Undertaker/HHH mania match. Bobby knows it too as he attacks Lesnar after the bell and leaves him in a pile of meat after another hurt lock.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
Match 2: Damage Ctrl (Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky) vs Asuka & Alexa Bliss(c) for the (WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships)
I know that the ladies have to wear full bodies suits because of SAUDIA ARABIA REASONS but they did a really good job of making legit outfits that work for each of their characters, unlike previous outings. Backstage interview with Alexa and Asuka as they talk about defending the belts after only 5 days of champs, flash of the Bray Wyatt logo on the screen behind Alexa and SHE NOTICES. Oh my. We know he’s here tonight. Kai and Bliss kick it off, Bliss trying to chain wrestle her way to a quick victory but the champ just decks her. Bliss laughs in her face and surfs Kai and stomps her face out. Iyo and Asuka squaring off and they know each other VERY WELL. Really good back and forth hard swinging sequence here, Asuka hits a shoulder block, bulldog into Bliss’ knees! Kick out! Double baseball slides to the challengers as they try to recover. Asuka on top, Iyo dropkicks her into a reverse tree of woe and Kai dropkicks her to the floor. That knee is a target now. Two for two on hating knees this show. Damage Ctrl working that limb. Asuka trying to fight out but that knee is just a hinderance. Finally we get the hot tag. Meteora from Bliss! Double dropkick lays out the challengers. Double knee drop to Kai. We get an audible This is Awesome. Iyo cuts it off with a big backbreaker. Alexa hits a code red outta nowhere! Fight to the top, tower of doom spot and everyone’s down. Asuka missile dropkicks Kai! Flurry of back elbows and hard kicks! Big German, kickout! Kai blasts a hard boot to Asuka. Bliss tries twisted bliss but Iyo distracts and Bliss eats knees! Asuka catches Iyo on the floor and starches her with a knee. Bliss tries Twisted Bliss again but the ref is distracted by Asuka and Iyo brawling back into the ring…so she misses Nikki Cross running it to ddt Bliss off the top! Kai makes the crawl and the ref turns to make the three count. Damage Ctrl regain their gold! Good match. Really enjoyed this one. Nikki runs back into the crowd and apart from Bliss, no one seems the wiser on what just happened.
Winners (and New Champs): Damage Ctrl
Ah, we have our first ad for hyping up the glory of Arstotzka…I mean, Riyadh. No more of this, please. Backstage we see a SUV pulling up. It’s Logan Paul and his crew. How’s he feeling? He says he’s gonna shock the word with one. lucky. punch.
Match 3: Drew McIntyre vs Karrion Kross w/ Scarlet (Steel Cage Match)
I like that Kross and Drew seem like they have had enough fighting and escalation that the steel cage stipulation feels earned. It’s great to see a proper Kross entrance on the main roster. Scarlet has a full body latex suit on. I’d say it fights the requirement of the show. McIntyre gets a sword made out of fireworks. I’m also making note that Ive seen several lady refs tonight. Nice little subtle jab to have them in positions of authority over men. The cage comes down and we get to brawling. Drew winning the early exchange but Kross takes a shot at the throat. They start the climb to escape, McIntyre slips and falls on his little Drews. Kross could escape but he wants to beat up Drew. McIntyre eats the steel and comes back swinging. Kross driving him into the cage and grinding him out. Drew will not die, hard shot and a kip up. First up the corner and Drew just gets dropped on his nards again. He grits it and tosses Kross off the top from the tree of woe! Kross just his a claymore! Drew kicks out. He tries the Kross jacket. Drew reverses it to a sleeper. Back suplex from Kross. He misses the Kross Hammer….future shock ddt! Drew does the countdown but Scarlet distracts him! Kross jacket applied but Drew fights it off. Kross Hammer puts the lights out but Kross likes taunting more than pinning and winning. He goes to make the climb, nice and slow…Drew back up and gives chase. Kross is over the top….Drew drags him back for a superplex! Drew tries to leave by the door…Scarlet maces him! She maces the ref. Kross is crawling to the door, Drew grabs the ankle and drags Kross back in! Hard shots back and forth…a short Claymore connects! Scarlet locks the door on Drew, she has the key. Drew decides to make the climb. Scarlet panic opens the door to try and pull Kross out to the floor but he’s too slow. Drew over the top and to the floor for the win! Hard hitting fight, Drew soaks in the crowd after the cage is lifted. Kross is furious, “THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN”.
Winner: Drew McIntyre
We have another backstage SUV. Is it Roman? Yes, it Roman and the Bloodline (minus Sami Zayn, because he doesn’t go to Saudi Arabia. I like that he sticks to that gun). Paul Heyman mocks the “one lucky punch” tag line. As he should. He puts over Roman’s skill and experience and Logan will never hit that punch. At this point, I’m sure he will. Michael Cole saying something feels different about tonight. Is tonight the night?
Match 4: The Judgement Day (Finn Balor, Dominic Mysterio & Damien Priest w/ Rhea Ripley) vs The OC (AJ Styles, Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows)
Michael Cole mentions that Rhea Ripley’s hair is a tribute to “the late Beth Pheonix”. Wowwwwww. Michael Cole’s talks about Styles and Balor’s shared history with leading Bullet Club. OC starting hot, dominating every member of Judgement Day. Dom wants in this fight and The OC isolates him and beats him stupid. Cole and Wade arguing over Dom’s status of Greatest Luchador Ever. Karl led into a Priest ambush on the outside and Judgement Day has their opportunity. Karl Anderson taking the heat as Finn grinds him into the mat. Karl trying to reach the long arms of Gallows but no dice. OC cleared off the apron and Karl has no one to tag. He hits a spine buster to Priest out of nowhere! Tag to Gallows! Big hands and kicks wiping out everyone. Side slam to Dom! Time for the magic killer….Priest save it. Dom almost steals a rollup! Tag to the captains. Balor and Styles going right at it. Escape the 1816. Escape the Styles Clash. Everyone getting involved, big waterfall but a slow almost lands the sling blade for the win. Styles cuts off the coup de Grace. Six man tower of doom…welll more of a super plex with a stereo electric chair drop. Rhea Ripley pulls AJ off the ropes as he sets up for the phenomenal forearm. Shotgun to the corner, coup de grace, Balor pins Styles!
Winners: The Judgement Day
Match 5: Braun Strowman vs Omos
“Monsters and Giants are supposed to exist in fairy tales” - it IS wild that Braun is the small guy in this fight. Face to Face as Omos challenges a test of strength. Omos is talking all sorts of smack as he whips Strowman post to post. “YOURE GONNA GET THIS WORK” as he boots Braun over. Strowman gets a stun off the top rope but Omos just slams him. The one foot pin doesn’t work out. Braun throwing hands and tries to slam the giant. Omos just overpowers and slams him. Crowd booing Omos hard as he confidently beats down the monster. Omos just did the toss out of the corner normally reserved for tiny humans. Wild to see Strowman take that bump. Strowman breaks a choke and throwing hands. Omos staggered! Clothesline over the top almost doesn’t work but Strowman powers him out. He tries the Strowman express but just bounces off Omos. WHOOPS. Omos running into the corner, Braun dodges…he gets Onosnup and hits the powerslam and gets the pin off of this one big move. Great showing for Omos, I very much enjoyed him handling the Monster for most of this but I guess Braun had to win.
Winner: Braun Strowman
Match 6: The Usos (Jimmy & Jey USO) vs The Brawling Brutes (Butch & Ridge Holland) (for the WWE Undisputed Tag Team Championships)
Jey Uso might have a broken wrist. His arm is fully taped and wrapped. If he’s hurting, it’s hard to tell because he’s throwing hard shots to Butch from that hand. As an aside, please give him his name back. The crowd chanting “we want Sami” but Jimmy yelling they aren’t getting him. Jimmy’s not ucey I guess? Ridge and Jey in and Hilland is just unloading corner tackles on both Usos. Big power back drop on both of them and a kick out! Ridge bowls Jey over on the outside and decks Jimmy out of a suicide dive. The brutes get payback for Sheamus and stops out Jimmy’s arm on the ring steps. Swinging side slam to Jey for the…kick out! Butch with a moonsault! Kick out! Uso’s with a pile of superkicks. Jimmy tries a splash but flies into a head and arm triangle. Finger breaker! Jey tagged, superkick out of the hold. Double splash to Butch, Ridge breaks up the pin! Butch does the finger breaker on Jey’s bad hand! Ridge hits white noise on Jey! Kick out of near poetic Justice. Brutes with a headkick slam combo but Jimmy makes the save with a European uppercut! Blind tag by Jimmy…he gets into position…Jey takes Butch off the top into a super 1D. Bam and done. The Usos retain. They move onto this Friday, where the New Day look to stop them from breaking their record setting tag team reign of 483 days!
Winners: The Usos
Peacock is running out of commercials so we have a bit of “we’ll be right back” moments between matches. Time for Last Woman Standing!
Match 7: Bayley vs Bianca Belair(c) (for the Raw Women’s Championship) (Last Woman Standing Match)
I like that Bayley’s outfit matches her Damage Ctrl counterparts. They make a point to note that Bayley was involved in the first Saudi women’s championship match and now the first women’s stipulation match. Wade Barrett calls the stadium Glorious. I imagine that word is in bold letters on his script. Early shoulder block and Belair kips up at one. Belair with a pile of slams and throws Bayley to the floor. Bayley goes right for the hardware, in this case a kendo stick. Belair avoiding the swings and sends Bayley back to the floor. Bayley gets a chair. Bianca avoids it with ease and dropkicks the steel into Bayley’s face. Belair waiting out Bayley and letting her tire herself out. Bayley grabs a ladder but Bianca is outta there. Bayley grabs the ponytail and finally stuns the champ on the steps. Suplex to the floor! Belair up at six. Basket sets a chair and hits a running clothesline off the barricade! We got a table. Bayley suplexed to the ramp but up at seven. Bianca dragging Bayley back but she trips. Bayley might have just twisted her ankle in the barricade? Nope, a ruse. Bianca looks concerns and Bayley runs her over. Hard shot with a chair. She goes up but Bianca sabu’s her. Neck breaker on the second rope by Bayley. Bianca getting bounced off the steps and kicked into the ring. Bayley has her trapped behind the stairs. She puts a ladder on top. It’s not an effective prison but Bayley is waiting to blast her with a kendo stick. She tries it again…Belair is ready. Bianca hits a spine buster into the steps after failing to throw the top segment into her head. Bayley running away as Bianca breaks a kendo stick over her back. Bayley to Belly on the stage! Double down but they both barely make the count. Bayley traps Belair in a storage case. Belair explodes out of the case as Bayley tries to hold her in. Belair misses throwing the case into Bayley and wipes out a part of the projection wall. Belair misses a KoD and Bayley reverses it into a crossface. Belair is trying to roll back to life…back up at seven. Bayley’s got a golf cart? Bianca easily dodges it by moving to the left, proving how silly the end of Prometheus was. Fight to the top of the golf cart…Bianca lays her out on top and drives the cart down to the ring. Bayley tries to holds the ponytail but Jan a tosses her off the cart to that waiting table. It doesn’t break! Nooooooo! Bianca pulls her up and powerbombs her…the table gives up this time. Bayley up at nine barely. Belair loading the ring with chairs. Slam into the chair. Bayley chairwich…Bianca with a 450! She eats s*** into the chairs! Bianca to her feet at nine. Bayley setting up the ladder…hard chair shots to the back. Bianca avoids a headlock ddt into a chair and KOD’s Bayley knee first into the chair OWWWW. She sandwiches Bayley into the ladder and shoves it under the bottom buckle. Genius move and Bayley frantically tries to escape but her knee won’t move from between the ladder. The ref counts her down and out. Really enjoyed this one.
Winner: Bianca Belair
Michael Cole gives his verbal tithe to the kingdom as we go to our main event….no…we have a DOOR. It’s Wyatt time. Single piano notes…door opens and Bray emerges from the light, lantern in hand. The death’s head moth lights up the night sky. Is that real or more WWE entrance CGI stuff. This is a long segment opening. Wyatt has the mic. He talks about his family lineage of wrestling. He wanted to be great…he had to be the greatest of all of them. (Yes you are, says the crowd). He says he gave in so much that he made a monster of himself and he wore the mask with pride. He no longer felt pain or fear. He admits it felt good and was hard to quit. But he felt alone in a kingdom of nothingness. He says no one loves him…just the things he is capable of. That isn’t the man he wants to be remembered as. “my name is Bray Wyatt” he repeats. He wants to rewrite the ending to his story. Uncle Howdy on the screen. WHY WEAR A MASK? HURT THEM. THEY’LL FIND OUT ABOUT HIM EVENTUALLY. SO WHY WAIT. REMEMBER HOW GOOD IT FEELS. IF HE WORRIES ABOUT THE AFTERMATH…DON’T TAKE THE MASK OFF. Wyatt takes it in as we end the segment and head to the main event.
Main Event: Roman Reigns(c) w/ Paul Heyman vs Logan Paul (for the WWE Undisputed Universal Championship)
Logan Paul up on a giant podium to take a selfie with the entire stadium. Michael Cole calling this a Buster Douglas scenario. He calls it potentially the biggest upset in wrestling history. Wade Barret is just mad that Logan Paul stole his podium. Man, I don’t love the entrance CGI in general but Roman’s is just overly bad looking. Just show me the stadium and fireworks. Practical effects ftw. Cole saying that Roman may be looking past Logan Paul…they really wanna pump up this underdog story and paint cracks on their tribal chief. Absurd levels of pyro coming off the roof for the champ. Ring the bell. The crowd is behind Logan but Roman just powers him into the corner from the lockup. They get to jawing. They to shoving. Logan takes down Roman but the tribal chief gives him one back. Fireman carry takeover by Logan but Roman just punches him in the face. Logan swings hard but ducked. Roman takes a powder as Heyman tells him to NOT get hit by that punch. “Stop running” yells Logan. Roman with a hard shot to the body, he’s taking his time with this kid. Paul kicks out but Roman is just smiling. Logan rallying back but it’s short lived. He get tossed over the barricade but comes flying back with a crossbody to the floor! Slingshot flip clothesline into the ring for a near fall! Logan Paul trying to keep it going but Roman punches him out of the air as he slingshots in again. “Rise up my tribal chief” yells Heyman. Roman walking him down with stomps. Roman trying to choke him down, we get a sweeping panorama of the stadium while they sit in the hold. Logan’s jaw is hanging wide as he gets pummeled with short clotheslines in the corner. Roman talking trash into the camera as he holds Paul down. Logan throwing hands to the mid section…he dodges out of the corner…gutwrench slam! Logan hits some back elbows…blockbuster off the second for two. Roman Reigns is looking tired. Off the ropes…Logan hits a Superman punch! Kip up! He’s up top! Crossbody connects! Standing moonsault! Roman kicks out again! Heyman looking worried. He’s tuning up the band?!? Reigns catches that…I guess it was supposed to be a superkick and plants him with a uranage. Logan dodges a Superman punch, he lands that hard right! Superman punch! Reigns kicks out again but this was a definitely false finish. Roman collapses to the floor. Logan clears the announcer table and puts Roman on it. He grabs his phone so he can selfie his splash down to the table. Thank god he landed that. The USO’s here to check on Roman. They get into it with Logan’s crew. Double superkick and the USO’s rule the ring until Jake Paul is out here to confront them. Jake Paul KO’s both of them with one punch each. He tells Logan to finish it. Logan is on top! Huge frog splash! Roman kicks out again! Solo Sikoa out here now. Jake Paul squares up but a pile of people spill from the back to break them up. Logan dives out at the USO’s? Logan back in the ring…Superman punch! Roman spears Logan Paul in half and gets the three. Roman looks shocked at how much of a fight he got tonight but he is keeping his belts tonight. The Bloodline celebrates in the ramp but they definitely look worse for wear. Cue BIG FIREWORKS. Roman has to take a knee and holds his head…he’s shook and says he never wants to see Logan Paul again.
Winner: Roman Reigns
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