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PUNK VS. PENTA, JOE VS. SUZUKI, LETHAL'S BIG SURPRISE & MORE: COMPLETE AEW DYNAMITE REPORT

By Anthony Pires on 2022-04-13 20:30:00

It's Wednesday Night! And that means I'm comfortably in my sweats and relaxing and NOT at AEW Dynamite Live!!!   Jim Ross, Excalibur and Tony Schiavone have the call of tonight's action, and there's some big ones ahead of us.  

CM Punk vs. Penta Oscuro w/Alex Abrahantes

Punk does not appreciate the presence of Penta's shovel.  We've got dueling chants at the onset here.  They go nose to nose.  Shove by Penta.  Kick by Punk into a chop.  They're trading chops and now they're swinging right hands.  Superkick by Penta, Punk with a crescent kick into a hip toss.  Leg drop by Punk for 2.  Punk with chops and gets up the GTS, Penta rolls out and gets an anklelock on, Punk kicks him off.  Running knee by Punk. Double Sling Blades by Penta for 2.  Dueling chants again as Penta kicks Punk out of the ring.  Punk slides back as Penta tries a dropkick.  Punk with a tope suicida as we go to commercial.

We're back and Punk eats a spin kick while climbing the buckles.  Headbutt by Penta.  Punk slips off the ropes trying a hurancanrana, as the knee that was being worked over gave out.   Punk falls as he gets thrown into the buckles.  He kicks Penta and this time connects with the top rope rana.  Punk goes for the GTS but Penta elbows out.  Punk with an Anaconda Vice.  Penta makes the ropes.  They're trading shots on the apron.  Penta tries fear factor, Punk stops it. Then Punk tries a piledriver and Penta blocks it.  Running knee by Punk. Penta blocks the GTS and nails an enziguiri and tries to snap Punks arm. They trade rollups Springboard by Penta, Punk catchesn him in mid flight and nails the GTS for the pin.

WINNER CM PUNK

At a private airport, the Jericho Appreciation Society arrive.  2.0 got taken out by Santana, Ortiz and Eddie Kingston and are laying on the runway.

AEW World Tag Team Championship: Jungle Boy Jack Perry & Luchasaurus (Champions) w/Christian Cage) vs. reDRagon (Kyle O'Reilly & Bobby Fish)

Perry and Fish kick us off. Lockup, arm twist by Fish, Perry rolls out and applies a headloick into a shoulder block.  Hurancanara by Perry.  Arm twist, it's Fish with a kick to the gut and KOR tags in.  Blind tag by Luchasaurus, he applies a hip toss and pounds KOR in the corner. Blind tag by Fish, he pulls Luchasaurus out and nails a Dragon Screw.  Kick by Fish, KOR tags in and nails a leg kick.  Fish tags in and hits a senton for 2.  KOR tags in but eats a knee off of a charge in the corner. Perry tags in and slams both members of reDRagon.  Lariat by Perry to KOR and sends Fish to the floor. He nails a tope suicida.  He goes for a second but reDRagon side step him.  It's Luchasaurus with a moonsault on the floor.  As Perry come back in, he eats a dragon screw.  We go to commercial.

WINNERS AND STILL AEW CHAMPIONS: LUCHASAURUS AND JUNGLE BOYWe're back and Perry tries to punch out but KOR with armbreaker take down for 2.  Perry with an armdrag and tags in Luchasaurus.  The big man neutralizes reDRagon by splashing them in the corner.  They eat a Luchasaurus double clothesline into a double choke slam for 2. Chop block by KOR.  Perry with a blind tag and they hit the Demolition Decapitation for 2.  KOR nails a butterfly suplex into a German.  Cross armbreaker by KOR, Perry makes the ropes.  Perry and KOR fight on the top rope. Luchasaurus sets up the doomsday.  KOR apples a choke to Luchasaurus and Fish nails PErry with a Falcon Arrow off the top for 2 as Luchasaurus was able to make the save. Luchasaurus and KOR trade blows.  The champs have isolated Fish and they nail the Express on Fish for the pin.

reDRagon lay out the champs during the celebration.  FTR comes out and shows off their double championship gold

The Blackpool Combat Cub (WITH Wheeler Yuta) are in the back, talking about their 6 man tag against the Gunn Club on Rampage.

Tony Schiavone is with Toni Storm and Jamie Hayter, who will meet in the first round of the Owen Hart Tournament. Storm walks off after Hayter lays the verbal smack on her.

MJF w/Shawn Spears vs. Capt. Shawn Dean

MJF is unable to get his jacket off. He uses the deception to attack Dean from behind.  He sends Dean hard into the buckle and we see backstage Security is laid out. One of them is missing their T Shirt.  A very large security guard jumps the railing. MJF runs away as Wardlow chases him.  Spears with a chair to the back and Wardlow then proceeds to destroy the entire Security detail.  Meanwhile, while MJF is on the ramp, the referee finishes the 10 count.

WINNER BY COUNT OUT CAPT SHAWN DEAN

Wardlow vows to destroy MJF if he won't let him out of his contract.

We see video of Darby Allin, he wants a coffin match with Andrade

Malakai Black talks about hopes and dreams and ripping open his throat.  He wants us to be afraid of the dark

Eddie Kingston, Santana & Ortiz vs. Daniel Garcia, Jake Hager & Chris Jericho

Kingston is wearing a THUMP t shirt in honor of the Junk Yard Dog. Ortiz has 2.0's sneakers with him.  Jericho and Santana kick us off, Santana punches him in the face and delivers a 10 count in the corner.  Pump kick by Santana into a knee strike. They exchange chops. Double leg by Santana into ground and pound.  Things have broken out into chaos among the partners on the floor.  Running elbow by Santana, he punches away at Jericho's face. Ortiz tags in and Proud & Powerful with a series of running elbows.  Hager is able to get the tag and a flapjack by Hager.  Big forearm smash by Hager. Ortiz with chops and a dropkick. Running clothesline by Hager, Garcia tags in and punches away at Ortiz.  Jericho tags in and nails a German for 2 as we go to commercial.

We're back live and Jericho with a drop kick to Ortiz.  Jericho misses a lionsault.  Ortiz with a clothesline and he gets cut off from a tag by Garcia.  It's a momentary setback as Kingston gets tagged in.  He hits a butterfly on Hager and tags in Santana.  Santana with the 3 Amigos on Garcia. Frog splash by Garcia for 2.  Kingston tags in and hits machine gun chops.  Ortiz tags in. He and Santana go for the street sweeper.  They get knocked off.  2.0 try to interfere but Ortiz takes them out.  Eddie goes for the backfist but gets nailed by Jericho's bat and Garcia scores the pin on Kingston

WINNERS: THE JERICHO APPRECIATION SOCIETY

The JAS with a beat down, leaving their opposition laying.

Alex Marvez is with MJF, Spears and Mark Sterling. Sterling reads a legal document that MJF can book Wardlow any way he wants.  Wardlow will wrestle The Butcher soon.

Marina Shafir vs. Skye Blue

Jade Cargill and MArk Sterling are watching in the back.  Shafir fights off a guillotine.  Red Velvet is with the Baddie Section, so is Kiera Hogan.  Forearm by Shafir.  Pump Handle throw by Shafir. Shafir mouths off to the baddie section. Palm strike by Shafir and she applies the arm triangle for the tap out.

WINNER: MARINA SHAFIR

Next week it's Hook's debut.  Tony Nese and Mark Sterling interrupt.  Danhausen curses Hook and Hook walks away.

Dan Lambert and the Men of the Hour are going after Sammy Guevara at Battle of the Belts 2 this weekend.

Powerhouse Hobbs & Ricky Starks vs. Swerve Strickland & Keith Lee

Swerve and Hobbs lock up, shove by Hobbs.  Arm twist by Swerve, shoulder block by Hobbs.  Fallaway slam by Hobbs, Lee mocking applauds.  Starks tags in and palm strikes Swerve and nails Old School.  Running shoulder block by Starks.  Swerve goes to work and tags in Lee.  Starks tries to chop him but to no avail.  Big chop by Lee, Swerve tags back in but then immediately Lee comes in.  He does that so he can tag Swerve back in to launch off of Lee's chest to moonsault Hobbs and Starks on the floor.  We go to commercial.

Back to live action, Swerve gets the tag off to Lee.  Starks eats a pair of tackles but rebounds with a knee.  Hobbs accidentaly tackles Starks after Lee leapfrogs him.  Swerve tags in and they nails Starks with double strikes for 2.  Swerve goes for a leap but Starks with a spear and a Destroyer for 2.  New Orleans is going nuts for Starks as he's a hometown boy.  Lee makes a blind tag and pounces Starks as Swerve throws Starks into him.  Enziguiri by Starks, he tries th eRochambeau but can't lift Lee.  Taz comes to ringside. Starks tries a tornado DDT.  Lee blocks it but Starks able to do it on try 2.  Swerve breaks up the pin.  Hobbs tags in and nails a Lee with a spinebuster for the pin on Lee after Taz tripped up Lee.

WINNERS: RICKY STARKS & POWERHOUSE HOBBS.

Tony is backstage with Thunder Rosa, who immediately gets interrupted by Nyla Rose and Vickie Guerrero. Rose gets a cake shoved in her face.  She and Rosa fight in the back.  Nyla gets the advantage.

We get comments from Adam Page and Adam Cole ahead of their Texas Death Match Friday

ROH World TV Championship: Minoru Suzuki (Champion) vs. Samoa Joe

Bobby Cruise is your ring announcer. Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt are in the crowd.  No Ian Riccaboni, though.  Chop exchange off the bat and they aint slowing down. Now it's an elbow strike exchange.  I'm guessing each has thrown 30 chops minimum.  A lot of Neosporin will be used tonight.  We're back to elbow strikes.  Suzuki off the ropes, he goes down from a shoulder block.  We go to commercial.

Back to live action and it's Joe with an STF. Joe hooks the arm but Suzuki makes the rope.  Joe gets sent into the buckle. Snap mare and a running knee by Suzuki for 2.  Suzuki thinks better of piledriver and it's chop city again.  Suzuki with a choke but Joe with a side slam to escape.  Dropkick by Suzuki and he applies a choke.  He tries the Gotch piledriver.  Joe rams him into the corner and sets up a muscle buster.  He nails it and scores the pin.

WINNER AND NEW ROH WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION SAMOA JOE

Dutt and Lethal have a present for the new champion.  It's a middle finger and the lights go out.  Satnim Singh attacks Joe.  He's from Punjab. Joe fights back as best he can but he can't evade the triple team.  Lethal with the Lethal Injection as we go to credits.

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