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COMPLETE AEW DYNAMITE REPORT

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It's Wednesday Night! And you know the routine, it's another LIVE edition of AEW Dynamite.  On the heels of St. Patrick's Day Slam, Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone and Excalibur have all of action for us in Austin, TX

CM Punk vs. Dax Harwood

Dax is accompanied by....no one.  Cash stays behind.  He wants to do this one by himself.  Lockup, they tussle in the ropes, neither man gets the edge.  Arm twist by Punk into a takedown, Cash escapes with a headscissors.  Lockup, headlock by Dax.  Dax with a shoulderblock.  Punk with a pair of armdrags into a hammerlock.  The Gunn Club is in the front row.  Dax with chops and an uppercut.  Punk with a body slam, Dax kicks out, another armdrag by Punk into a hammerlock.  Punk with a hammerlock, Dax bounds off the ropes and connects with a knee to the midsection, 1 count.

Dax rakes the face of Punk and follows up with a backbreaker. Dax applies a rear chinlock.  Belly to back by Dax.  Punk is favoring his back. Dax slams Punk into the buckle and connects with a chop and argues with the Gunn Club.  Punk with chops. Back elbow by Harwood.  Dax misses a diving headbutt.  Austin is on FIRE tonight.  Big forearm exchange. Leg Lariat by Punk for 2.  Punk goes to the top. Dax with a punch and 3 chops and he tries a superplex.  Punk shoves him off.  Punk teases the elbow but Dax shoves him off.  Dax connects with the superplex this time.  Dax to the top and he connects with the Harley Race headbutt.  They tumble to the floor and both men are down.  

Cash Wheeler has come out to check on Dax. Diving cross body by Punk for 2 and he slaps in the Anaconda Vice. Dax rolls out. They trade small packages for 2.  Dax catches the knee and hits a slingshot powerbomb for 2.  

Austin, TX thinks this is awesome.  They're correct.  

Running knee by Punk. Dax blocks the GTS and applies the sharpshooter.  Punk escapes and transitions into the Anaconda Vice for the top.

WINNER CM PUNK

That's it folks!  Show's over.  This can't be followed.  FTR and the Gunn Club have word.

The Jericho Appreciation Society is in the back, talking about the upcoming Jericho/Garcia vs. Silver/Reynolds match tonight.

8 man tornado tag team match: Sting, Darby Allin, Matt & Jeff Hardy vs. Private Party, The Butcher & The Blade

This is bullet point city as it's a tornado match, anything goes.
Darby vaults himself onto Blade
Sting jumps off the top to the floor on the other 3 opponents.
Butcher with forearms to Darby
Matt Hardy pounds away at Isiah Kassidy
Sting with a Stinger splash on the barricade ro Kassidy. The man is not human.
Jeff Hardy, Darby, Butcher and Blade are in the crowd brawling
Matt pounds away in the corner on Kassidy
Butcher throws Darby down a flight of stairs as we go to commercial.
We're back and this is just NUTS, but you likely didn't need me to tell you that.
The brawl has found its way to the concession stand because, well, of course it has
Kassidy is beating down Matt on the stage but it's Matt with a bodyslam
Dave Scherer isn't paying me enough
Private Party sends Matt through a table
In the concession stand, Jeff Hardy has a ladder. Butcher and Blade are laid out on tables
Hardy connects with a swanton through a table
Sting makes his way back to the ring to assist Matt Hardy.  I distinctly recall my grandfather and father at 62.  They didn't do dives
Sting dominates Private Party with Stinger Splashes.  
Private Party tries Gin and Juice on Sting but Sting is able to apply a dragon
Matt hits Quen with a Twist of Fate for the pin.
WINNERS: STING, JEFF HARDY, MATT HARDY & DARBY ALLIN

Schiavone is with FTR about the Gunn Club issue.  Looks like we have a match for next week.

Jon Moxley & Bryan Danielsonw/William Regal vs. The Varsity Blondes

Regal has joined the booth. The Blondes are in the dreaded "already in the ring" position.  Julia Hart is sitting in the corner with her back to the ring.  Moxley slams Pillman and chops him.  Pillman with a dropkick and tags in Garrison. Garrison eats a belly to back and Danielson tags in as we go to commercial.

We're back and Danielson kicks Pillman.  Moxley hits a lariat and a piledriver for 2.  Garrison tags in and slug s it out with Moxley.  Moxley turns him away.  Moxley chokes out Garrsion and the ref calls it off.

WINNERS: BRYAN DANIESLON & JON MOXLEY

Regal joins the victors as Moxley takes the mic and tells us he only listens to Lord Regal. He and Danielson were forged in combat.  If anyone in the back thinks they can stand beside them, they better be prepared to suffer, as a heavy price needs to be paid.

MJF comes out and Excalibur apologizes for it. He's with Shawn Spears.  Security detail is here to ward off Wardlow.  He laments that Wardlow wouldn't get the job done last week.  He addresses CM Punk.  He says Punk knows he cheated to win at Revolution and that they are not done.  He calls Austin inbred.  He says Wardlow is a greedy pig.  Thanks to MJF, Wardlow has a roof over his head. Wardlow had the audacity to ask for a release from his contract.  He reminds Wardlow that he signed a deal with the devil.  MJF is about to make his life a living hell.  MJF says he'll strap Wardlow to a cross like JEsus and throw his mother out on the street.

Here comes Wardlow, who takes out security until they're able to restrain him.  MJF says he doesn't want him here, so, therefore, he's trespassing.  He'll keep paying Wardlow to stay home until he's completely forgotten about. MJF says the Pinnacle is not disbanded.

Schiavone is with Best Friends and Wheeler Yuta.  Trent doesn't like Yuta. Yuta says he doesn't like Trebt either and walks off.

Adam Cole vs. Jay Lethal

Lockup, armtwist by Cole, he forces Lethal back to the corner. Cole with kicks in the corner.  Jabs by Lethal and follow up chops.  Elbow drop by Lethal, Cole cuts him off with a knee to the gut.  Dropkick by Lethal for 1.  The announcers are pushing their ROH history hard.  Lethal with a backbreaker/Facedrop combo. Lethal misses a springboard dropkick.  Cole poses too long and Lethal dropkicks him to the floor.  Lethal hits a pair of tope suicidas.  Cole walks away and Lethal nails him with a dive.  reDRagon comes out as we go to commercial.

While we're in commercial, I want to congratulate RJ Krasinski and Impact's Brian Hebner on the debut of their new podcast, Reffin It Up, which dropped it's debut episode today.

We're back and they are trading forearms.  Lethal tries a toe hold but Cole kicks him off.  Rollup by Lethal for 2.  Cole with a small package for 2.  Lethal gets a figure 4 applied, Cole makes the ropes.  Lethal gets distraxcted by reDRagon and gets rolled up for 2.  Superkick by Cole.  He goes for a kneestrike. Lethal with a cutter but gets superkicks off a Lethal Injection attempt.  Panama Sunrise for 2 by Cole.  Cole misses the boom, Lethal rolls him up but reDRagon had the ref distracted. Cole with a low blow and a Boom knee strike for the pin.

WINNER ADAM COLE

Cole has a mic.  He says there nobody who deserves the AEW Championship more than him.  He claims he say fear in Adam Page's eyes last week. He calls Page a coward and the AEW Champion comes out.  Page goes on the attack but Cole & company quickly get the edge on him. Jungle Boy, Christian Cage and Luchasaurus run them off. 

Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti are with Tony Schiavone in the ring and Sammy grabs the mic and tells the world that although he lost the TNT Title, he's still Sammy guevara and the best thing going today.  Tay takes the mic.  She wants Paige Van Zant.  They want a mixed tag RIGHT NOW.

This brings out Dan Lambert and The Men of the Hour.  He puts down Austin, TX.  He reminds us to subscribe to PVZ's OnlyFans page.  LAmbert kisses the TNT belt, at which point Sammy tells him that he and Conti had sex on the belt and that now Lambert has kisses their....essence.  

We get some comments from Swerve, ahead of his FTW title match on Rampage against Ricky Starks.

I'll never look at the TNT title the same way

Leyla Hirsch vs. Red Velvet

Hirsch kicks Velvet off the apron and pounds her on the floor.  Velvet sends her into the rails, Hirsch responds in kind.  Velvet with a hurancanrana on the floor and they make their way into the ring.  Body kicks by Velvet. Standing moonsault for 1 by Velvet. Gut wrench suplex by Hirsch for 1.  We go to commercial.

We're back and it's Velvet with an armdrag and a double knee strike.  Spin kick by Velvet. Hirsch with a German suplex for 2. Velvet with a slam for 2.  Velvet with a corkscrew kick.  Hirsch rolls to the apron. She grabs the spare turn buckle but the ref pulls it away.  As he puts it away, Hirsch pulls another spare turn buckle out and smashes Velvet for the pin.

WINNER LEYLA HIRSCH

As Hirsch attacks Velvet, Kris Statlander makes the save.

Tony is with Jade Cargill and Mark Sterling, who wants a huge party for her 30th upcoming win.

We hear from new AEW champion Thunder Rosa on the ramp with Tony Schiavone. Vickie Guerrero immediately interrupts and tells her to take her fake Green Card and tells her to go back to Mexico.  Nyla Rose attacks the champion ans poses on the ramp

My 12 year old nephew just texted me asking me what Tay and Sammy did to the TNT belt....I told him to ask his dad.

Chris Jericho & Daniel Garcia vs. John Silver & Alex Reynolds

Danny Magic thinks there should be no music as the AEW fans don't deserve it.  Jericho and Silver square off.  Johnny Hungy with punches and a shoulder tackle.  Armdrag by Silver, Reynold stags in, Dark ORder with a double drop kick, Jericho bails.  Silver follows and nails him with a big time kick and Dark Order hits a tope suicida/brainbuster combo.  2.0 want the rest of Dark Order ejected.  Referee Aubey Edwards obliges, believing them to have thrown Jericho into the steps as we go to commercial.

We're back and it's the Jericho Appreciation Society pounding Reynolds in their corner.  Double thrust by Jericho, he misses a lionsault. Silver tags in and clotheslines Le Champion.  He tosses Garcia from the ring. Silver takes out the entire Jericho AP and nails a cross body for 2 on Le Champion.  Codebreaker by Jericho for 2.  Garcia tags in and the Jericho AP work him over.  Alex gets the blind tag and Dark Order almost puts it away. Jake Hager gets elbowed off the apron but powerslams Silver.  Jericho nails Alex with Floyd the Bat.  Garcia cinches in the Scorpion Death Lock for the immediate tap out.

WINNERS: CHRIS JERICHO AND DANIEL GARCIA

We go to credits.

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