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It's cold outside, I'm getting old so, instead of driving through the nightmare that is Boston and being out until 2AM, I am here with tonight's AEW Dynamite from Agganis Arena on the Boston University campus. Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone and Excalibur have the call of the action.
CM Punk vs Bobby Fish
Boston loves them some CM Punk as Fish poses. Side headlock takedown by Punk, Fish back to his feet and Punk with a shoulder block. Fish with a pair of leg kicks and a snap mare into a rear chinlock. Kneelifts by Punk. Elbow drop bu Punk as the crowd gives Fish some love. Punk with a shouldertackle and a bodyslam. Another bodyslam by Punk. He hits the trifecta for a 1 count. Running knee in the corner and he goes for the GTS but Fish elbows out. Snap mare an a vaulting senton for 2 by Fish. Kneelify by Fish into a snap suplex. Rear chinlock by Fish, he's trying for a rear naked choke. Punk flips Fish to the outside and nails a tope suicida. Big shout out to my friend at Ringside, Frank Bruno (NOT the former boxing champion).
Legsweep on the apron by Fish, he covers Punk for 2. Belly to back by Fish and hits an inverted dragon screw. Kick to the back of the head by Fish and applies a leglock. Fish sends him to the outside and follows. Fish with leg kicks and forearms. Back in the ring, Fish with a running knee and Fish goes to town on the knee. Fish sets him up in the corner. Fish with a sharp forearm. Punk fights back on the turnbuckle, Fish goes down. Punk with the elbow off the top, he's still clutching his knee. Forearm by Punk, Fish fores back and we've got the two trading. Big leg kick by Fish, Punk is down. Crescent kick by Fish but a leg lariat, followed by a neckbreaker by Punk. Clothesline for 2 by Punk.
Fish blocks the GTS and hits a dragon screw. Sliding clothesline by Fish. Double leg rollup by Punk. He catches Fish on a clothesline attempt and nails the GTS for the pin. Fish kicked out just after the 3 count.
WINNER: CM Punk
We see highlights of the Malakai Black vs. Cody Rhodes feud. This wasn't about pinfalls, according to Black. It's about something much deeper.
MJF w/Wardlow and his Accountabilitybuddy Shawn Spears vs. Bryce Donovan
MJF, salt of the earth he is, offers a handshake but instead kicks him in the gut and nails the Pendulum Piledriver for the pin.
WINNER: MJF
MJF wants his music cut and and rips into Boston. He'd rather shove his junk in a blender than nail ugly Boston women. Then he turns his attention to Darby Allin. He brags about breaking Allin mentally and physically. He brags about having beaten Hangman Page for the Dynamite Ring. He puts Page and Omega on notice.
The lights go out. We're waiting for Sting but MJF and company start laughing at Boston as they set that little stunt up.
The lights go out again. On the big screen, some guy has an MJF mask on and he gets dropkicked by Darby Allin. The lights come back on and Sting is in the ring. He nails Spears and Wardlow with his bat. MJF runs into the crowd, where a fan dresses as the Invisible man (trenchcoat and ace bandages covering the face) sheds his outfit. It's Darby Allin, who gets a few shots in on MJF before he runs off. Allin nails Spears with his thumbtacked laced skateboard. Darby takes the mic and makes his intention clear. He wants MJF at Full Gear.
Tony Schiavone is with Dr. Britt Baker, and he announces a Baker vs. Abadon No DQ match for Rampage, based on an incident on the Jericho Cruise last weekend.
TNT Championship: Sammy Guevara (TNT Champion) All Ego Ethan Page
As a reminder, everyone is barred from ringside from American Top Team and the Inner Circle. Sammy attacks right away with a double leg and a knee strike. Tope con hilo corkscrew by Guevara. Over the timekeepers table goes Page, Sammy then throws him into the rail. Sammy throws him back in the bell rings to officially begin. Forearm exchange, Page gets the edge here. Guevara with a big dropkick and gets a 1. Chop by Sammy, he hits a snap suplex for 1.
Tony Nese is again at ringside.
Chop by Guevara and we have another forearm exchange. Page with a chop, they are going back and forth. Big Forearm by Page but a kick to the back by the champion. Sammy to the top and Page knocks him off. Page with a backbreaker across the turnbuckle as we go to commercial.
We're back as Page slaps Guevara around. Sammy struggles to his feet and Page knocks him right down with a forearm. Sammy with three forearms and a running clothesline. Guevara gets whipped into the corner but evades the charge. Sammy with a cutter of off the top. Spanish Fly for 2 by Guevara. With Page on the outside, Guevara nails a shooting star press off the top. Back elbow by Sammy, Page catches him and hits a running powerslam. Page to the top. Sammy leaps up to meet him but gets bodyslammed off the top. Shoulder block by Page for 2. Page sets up an avalanche Ego's Edge but Guevara counters with a hurancanrana. Guevara with a double leg rollup for the pin.
WINNER AND STILL TNT CHAMPION: Sammy Guevara
Scorpio Sky hits the ring and attacks Guevara. The rest of the Inner Circle immediately makes the save, "Judas" song and all. Jericho has a mic in hand. He respects Sky but Page? Not so much. A chant supporting masturbation breaks out. Jericho reminds us that the Inner Circle will take on The Men of the Year and American Top Team in a Minneapolis Street Fight. Next week, the Inner Circle will pick the members of ATT that will be in the match.
Tony Schiavone is with Eddie Kingston and Bryan Danielson, ahead of their semi final match in the Eliminator Tournament on Friday. Eddie's a little fired up and so is Danielson. Danielson is out to prove he's the best.
The Lucha Bros have a challenge for FTR. They agree to put the AEW Tag team title on the line at Full Gear
TBS Championship 1st Round: Hikaru Shida vs. Serena Deeb
We get aggresive mat wrestling early. Go behing takedown by Shida, she nails some ground and pound. Deeb sweeps the leg and goes to work on the knee against the post. Shida is able to get some momentum and Deeb goes into the post. Shida breaks the count and suplexes her back into the ring for 2. She slams Deeb's head into the buckles as we go to commercial.
We're back and Shida is firing away with hard forearms, about a dozen in all. Deeb goes into the buckle and eats a running knee. Shida with a spinning uppercut and a dropkick and delayed suplex for 2. Deeb blocks the straight jacket but Shida gets it. Running knee strike for 2 by Shida. Deeb blocks a knee and wrenches the knee. Shida kicks Deeb to the ouside. Shida sets up the chair. Deeb kicks the chair away but Shida manages to hit a dropkick. Deeb trips her and goes back to work on the knee, hitting a figure 4 on the post. Shida with a rollup for 2. Kick and a knee strike by Shida. She goes for another but Deep rolls through it and hits a half crab into an inverted figure 4, Shida makes the ropes. Deep introduces the 50th win plaque, Shida gets it away and gives it to Referee Aubrey Edwards. They trade rollups and Shida holds hers for the pin.
WINNER: Hikaru Shida
Deeb, VERY angry, grabs a chair and goes to town on Shida's knee. She slaps on the Serenity Lock until referees and Jerry Lynn rush the ring to get her to stop.
Tony Schiavone is with Lio Rush and Dante Martin. We're told that Mike Sydal is injured so Friday's tag team match is changed to Dante Martin vs. Matt Sydal
AEW Title Eliminator Tournament First Round: 10 vs Jon Moxley
German suplex by Moxley, he stomps 10 in the corner. Back elbow by 10, he gets forearmed to the floor. Moxley sends him into the steps and rips the mask in half and bites 10's head. 10 is gashed open. 10 with a punch, 3 chops and and a kick in the corner. Moxley with a tackle and a paradigm shift for the pin.
WINNER: Jon Moxley
FTR is with Tony Schiavone. They waited too long for their shot. Tully Blanchard says it'll be a re-set for FTR.
Boston is kind of not happy to see Cody Rhodes. Arn Anderson accompanies him to the ring and he's got something to say. Cody says he hears the fans. He hears them on line, he hears old wrestling managers yelling at clouds. He talks becoming a heel about abusing his power to grant himself a title shot despite his vow. That's too easy, though. He acknowledges that his wife is better looking than him, his brother is a better wrestler and he can't measure up to his father. He says it plain: he will not turn. He apologizes to the nightmare family and Arn Anderson directly.
Enter Andrade El Idolo. He reminds Cody that the people don't like either of them. The difference is that Andrade doesn't care. Andrade mocks the neck tattoo. The lights go out. As they come on, Malakai Black blows the mist into Cody. They attack Arn. Pac makes the save and beats down Andrade. Black and Idolo hightail it out.
Cody vs. Andrade next week.
Dark Order: Colt Cabana, Evil Uno, Stu Grayson and John Silver vs. The Young Bucks, Adam Cole and AEW World Champion Kenny Omega w/Michael Nakazawa and Brandon Cutler
Do you honestly think I can do this without bullet points
Dark Order are in Costume, as are the Elite, who come out as Ghostbusters, complete with Ghostbuster inspired Elite theme music
Silver is wrestling in his Bambi costume
Egon (I mean Cole) with stomps in the corner
Evil Uno, as Woody from Toy Story(?) tags in as does Omega, who is wearing a Proton Pack
Uno gets sent to the floor and gets Splashed by Nakazawa, who's wearing one of those sumo blow up suits
Anthony Pires is thankful his grandfather isn't alive to see this
Uno (still a cowboy, mind you) rides Omega like he's a horse
And we go to commercial.....yes folks, this needs to be seen to be believed
Quick commentary: it's Halloween Week. Is this ridiculous? Can I get too worked up over the Top Guys goofing off with a lower tier act on a show that's been pretty darn good so far? Nah. Let's enjoy ourselves. This isn't the main event of Full Gear. Life's too short.
We're back and Grayson is laying knees and kicks into the Super Elite.
Grayson evades a double superkick and nails a double Pele
Cory Strode smiles over a Dick Grayson reference
Cabana somehow makes Matt Jackson DDT his brother
Silver eats a double superkick
The Super Elite hit a triple superkick.
Matt Jackson accidentally superkicks Rick Knox
All members of Dark Order supper low blows
The Ghostbusters reintroduce Proton Packs.
Please don't cross the stream
4 way Proton Pack assisted hip attacks by th eElite
A horse runs down to ringside, chased by Dark ORder
The Elite beat up the horse, turns out it's Brandon Cutler with duct tape on his mouth
THE STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN IS ADAM PAGEPage beats down the Elite and Silver scores the pin on Matt Jackson
WINNERS: The Dark Order
I have no idea what I just saw.
We go to credits. Thank God
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