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COMPLETE AEW DYNAMITE BLOG

From Jacksonville...almost live, it's Wednesday Night Dynamite and we kicking things off with the first sanctioned singles match in a loooooong time for one Christian Cage.  I can't help but feel good for the guy.  He never formally retired in WWE.  He never had that shining moment that legends get when they're supposed to say good bye.  That's in the past now and Frankie Kazarian is in front of him tonight.

I'm not going to lie, I don't like this matchup.  Not because I think it'll be a bad match.  On the contrary, I think, bell to bell, it's going to the best pure match we have tonight.  This, boys and girls, is not what Christian needs.  He was teased Dixie Carter-esque as a game changer.  Through absolutely no fault of his own, the announcement was a thud.  If he truly is as special as AEW wants us to believe, then he must come out looking like a killer here.  A Lee Johnson, an Alan Angels, a Mike Sydal would have been perfect here.  Christian needs a dominant win and Kazarian is not the guy he's going to get it from.  Kazarian is that guy who no one actually believes will ever win a big match, but he sure as hell isn't going down in 4 minutes to the Unprettier either. I miss Ring of Honor Frankie Kazarian.  That guy was a star.  Hey! We got the mention that he and Christopher Daniels are the number 1 contenders to the tag team title, despite having not won a match on Dynamite in forever.  This stipulation of them never teaming again would have meant a lot in Impact or ROH.

The other thing that really worries me here is that this match will end up being a blueprint for every single Christian match from here on out.  I hope I'm wrong.  Action is pretty good so far, as expected.  You're never not going to get your money's worth out of these 2 in action but here we go with the ridiculous factor.  Kaz hits a beautiful Spanish Fly off the top rope and Christian kicks out. These moves mean absolutely nothing with how badly they get bastardized.  Christian finally hits the Killswitch for the pin.  This accomplished nothing.  Christian deserved better. Kazarian deserves better.

Please don't for a second think I didn't like the match.  It was fine, they checked each and every box.  Now, Christian is supposed to be challenging Omega at some point but it takes him 18 minutes or so to beat a tag team wrestler?  Not liking at all where this is going.

What I do like are these "on location" promos that Darby Allin and Sting are doing.  I wish they had a better target than Matt Hardy but I love the creepy nature in which this was shot and I'll give Sting a lot of love here: he's standing back and letting Allin get the shine here.  The Matt Hardy paper masks they're wearing are a nice touch.

I was NOT wrong about Jade Cargill.  I refuse to admit BUT her promo tonight may have been her best mic work to date.  She looks like a star.  I am VERY fearful of what;s going to happen when she has to go long out there.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Larr...oh wait, sorry. It's QT Marshall vs. Cody Rhodes in the "Exhibition" match. Marshall is in the dreaded "already in the ring" spot as Cody makes his grand entrance.  While not a lumberjack match, the students of the Nightmare Factory are surrounding the ring.  I have to admit I really like this. I think it's great that guys like Lee Johnson, Aaron Solow, and the Gunns have a little storyline.  Cody, unfortunately, is looking the fool here.  EVERYONE and their deceased great great great grandmothers can see that Marshall is turning heel here.  The early goings are exactly how it should go.  Cody is Bruno here.  The star.  QT is Zbyszko, the guy who's spent his entire career as "the friend".  Odd that they're bringing QT's wife into this storyline.  Wasn't he trying to mack on the Bunny like 5 months ago?

QT showing some aggression, just enough that Cody doesn't see the full turn coming.  And POW, QT punches the hell out of referee Arn Anderson. No subtlety there at all.  I thought he'd make the big move on Cody.

Wait a second! This is pretty interesting!  Some students of the Nightmare Factory, Aaron Solow, Nick Comoroto and Anthony Ogogo attack the Gunns and Johnson.  They're turning heel with QT and laying the beat down.  I actually dig this a lot. I love what I've seen from Comoroto and Solow.  Dustin is a bloody mess, of course.  Omoroto with a left hook to the stomach of Cody.  Hey this really good, if you ask me.  Red Velvet, of all people, talks them down from a final destruction of Cody Rhodes.  QT and his guys celebrate.  Granted, you need to be up on Dark to know who all the players are, but this was very well done.

Red Velvet has a few words about what we just saw.  I say the under over on sentences is 1 until she gets attacked by Jade Cargill.  NEVER EVER doubt my prop bets.  First sentence never left her mouth before Jade attacked.  Jade came from the front.  Shouldn't Red Velvet have seen that coming?

Jon Moxley with a parking lot promo talking about Cezar Bonani tonight.  Bonani getting a little shine by being in the ring with Moxley but he's in that dreaded "already in the ring" spot.  Wasn't he with Peter Avalon or was that someone else?  Announcers did a good job talking about all that Moxley has been physically and mentally through this past month.  They kind of explain why Bonani, NOT a star by any stretch of the imagination, is lasting a few more minutes with the former AEW World Champion than we expect.  JD Drake and Ryan Nemeth are with Bonani.

Let's be honest, this is not a bad showing to Cezar.  Back from commercial, he finally gets choked out.  His minions at ringside ran some interference to at least explain away why it took Mox so long to win.

And, backstage, it's Team Taz.  Taz is phenomenal at a great many things.  Trying to pretend nothing is wrong in Team Taz is not one of them.  Brian Cage is (mercifully for his career) leaving them soon and it's obvious he and Starks will be feuding.  That really bothers me.  Cage and Starks, with Hobbs as the young muscle and Taz as a Hall of Fame talker and personality, SHOULD be near the tippy top of this company.  The talent in that group is sick.  For them to be reduced to what they've become should be a serious blemish/embarrassment to whoever came up with their storylines.

And from their new private locker room, the magnanimous leader of the Pinnacle, MJF has a special gift for his teammates, a custom suit maker AND an interior decorator.  OK, at least MJF can deliver this really well.  And, just like that, the Inner Circle is BACK, waiting in the wings, or the bathroom in this case.

I stopped typing to let this sink in and watch the whole segment.

Do you Elites remember the time Andre the Giant challenged Hulk Hogan back in 1987 for WrestleMania III?  And then 2 weeks later, Hogan just eviscerated and emasculated Andre?  You don't remember that?  That because...IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!!!  In case you're not watching and are just reading this, the Inner Circle beat the Pinnacle down like they were Retribution, NO...The Corre.  That's how decisive and thorough this beating was.  MJF got his head shoved in the toilet and crashed through a soda machine.  THIS is how you end a feud, not begin it.  Inner Circle got their revenge, congratulations!  There is absolutely no need to this to continue.  I thought the handling of Team Taz was bad.  I was wrong in thinking faction handling could not get any worse.  It did.  Six guys got ruined here tonight.

Don Callis has a few choice words for the Bucks.

And now we have Omega and the Good Brothers vs. Laredo Kid and the Lucha Bros.  Guys, I'm sorry, but I have a ridiculously bad taste in my mouth over what I just saw and a spot fest with zero phycology is not what the doctor ordered.  Is there anything else you want to talk about tonight?  I had a phenomenal weekend away with my wife in Cape Cod, MA.  We went on a harbor cruise, a romantic walk through a vineyard in Nantucket, even bought some retro KISS vinyl from a used record store in Hyannis.  The Ring of Honor PPV was sooooo good.  I really think Dak Draper and Brian Johnson are going to be big big stars for them.  I love the fact that Homicide is back and Chris Dickinson has arrived.  

Big highspots in this match, as expected.  Callis has joined the booth and, I have to say, he entertains me.  He has the right amount to sleaze in his presentation.  Omega and the good Brothers with the win.  Nothing happened that wasn't expected.  However, I am enjoying the work of the heel translator.  Shout out and thanks to Diego Duron for filling me in about his cadence.

Moxley and the Young Bucks run off Omega and Company.  $1 says we get a six man next week.

Next up, the Bunny and Nyla Rose vs. Hikaru Shida and Tay Conti.  If this were WWE, I'd be griping about the fact that the champion was teaming with the #1 contender.  Because it's AEW, I'll still gripe about the champion teaming with the #1 contender.  For weeks and weeks, I've been wondering what exactly it is about Tay Conti that I like.  Since she debuted, I've been trying to put my finger on what it is about the Bunny that I like.  I think I figured it out about these 2.  If you combine Tay's in-ring with the Bunny's personality, you'd have the perfect wrestler. There's something very off about Conti standing in the corner acting as a cheerleader.  She's excellent in the ring and Bunny is a good personality. What WWE failed to see in Tay Conti, I'll never know.  Bunny scores the pin here.  It would have been a nice showcase if every single opening carder guy wasn't at ringside causing dstraction (yes, I'm talking about Matt Hardy and Company and the once mighty Dark Order.

Next up, the Bunny and Nyla Rose vs. Hikaru Shida and Tay Conti.  If this were WWE, I'd be griping about the fact that the champion was teaming with the #1 contender.  Because it's AEW, I'll still gripe about the champion teaming with the #1 contender.  For weeks and weeks, I've been wondering what exactly it is about Tay Conti that I like.  Since she debuted, I've been trying to put my finger on what it is about the Bunny that I like.  I think I figured it out about these 2.  If you combine Tay's in-ring with the Bunny's personality, you'd have the perfect wrestler. There's something very off about Conti standing in the corner acting as a cheerleader.  She's excellent in the ring and Bunny is a good personality. What WWE failed to see in Tay Conti, I'll never know.  Bunny scores the pin here.  It would have been a nice showcase if every single opening carder guy wasn't at ringside causing dstraction (yes, I'm talking about Matt Hardy and Company and the once mighty Dark Order.

We head into tonight's main event, the Arcade Anarchy match.  Orange Cassidy (remember his push) and Chuck Taylor vs. Miro and Kip Sabian with arcade games surrounding the ring.  Yes, arcade games.  Orange Cassidy is literally hitting Kip Sabian with the Whack a Mole Mallett.  IT'S FOAM RUBBER.  Foam rubber, ladies and gentlemen.

I want to love this company.  I really do.  I want to tell everyone, including my mother, why they need to watch this.  I can't.  I just can't.  Not with this embarrassment. OH wait a second, we got LEGOS in the ring.  Any parent knows how much that hurts.  My parents? They're hardcore, they stepped on jacks.  Dear lord, Trent Baretta and Kris Statlander are back.  I'd be more enthused is Trent's mom didn't actually drive him to the ring.  Remember when Miro left WWE?  We were all excited about what the future held?  Me too.  

Cassidy pins Sabian to end this debacle.  Let's hope tonight was a complete aberration.  I can't muster the commentary after this.  Whack a mole.  We seriously got whack a mole and Miro effortlessly picked up an obviously hollow video game.

Cory and I'll be up later with the post game party.  Thanks for reading. 

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