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1/5 AEW DARK REPORT

Taz and Excalibur welcome us to YouTube, paying tribute to Mr. Brodie Lee. But we head to the ring.

Jungle Boy vs Nick Comoroto

Jungle Boy apparently has new music and is giving up about 120 lbs to his opponent, Nick Comoroto. Taz points out that Comoroto could fill a caveman role in Jurassic Express. Jungle Boy wins with the Snare Trap, his STF. Is that the first time I’ve seen Jungle Boy win with a submission? 

Nyla Rose vs Alex Gracia

Appropos to nothing, I find it a little weird that a wrestler and a manager alone have a stable name. I can’t think of another instance in my wrestling history. (Though I’m sure I’m wrong.) Alex Gracia tries to start hot, but that doesn’t go well. A few moments later, a Beast Bomb is enough for Nyla Rose to get the win. Vickie Guerrero has the mic, saying Alex Gracia didn’t learn her lesson the first time they wrestled. Nyla Rose goes under the ring and grabs a table. Vickie calls Gracia bubblicious bubble gum, and Rose puts her through the table. 

Scorpio Sky vs Ariel Levy 

Taz and Excalibur mention that Scorpio Sky has been more focused and aggressive in recent months and has Shawn Spears in his sights. Wait, didn’t Shawn Spears cut a promo, saying he was basically leaving a few weeks back? Ariel Levy runs the ropes weirdly. But it’s all Scorpio Sky and his new aggressive side as Sky gets a TKO for the win. 

Marko Stunt comes out with a mic and gets interrupted by -1. -1 talks a little trash, that he’ll be bigger when he grows up, and Cody, the Bucks, and Bryce Remsburg come out to keep them separated. A fun segment for -1’s memories, but it felt like a BTE segment.  (And Cody shows up on Dark for probably the first or second time.)

Aaron Solow vs Rey Fenix

Rey Fenix gets another warmup match before he challenges for the AEW World Championship on Dynamite. An interesting spot where Fenix slingshot through the ropes, faked a strike, and when Solow covered up, Fenix connected with a cutter instead. Fire Thunder Driver gives Rey Fenix the pinfall. 

A camera lens needs to be cleaned. 

Louie Valle vs Brandon Cutler

Louie Valle’s name is still misspelled on his tron video. Excalibur mentions Valle’s history with Brodie Lee on the indies, since Valle strikes a remarkable resemblance and shares similar tattoos to a former member of the Batiri from Chikara. Valle talks to the camera and says he has hot breath. Cutler makes fun of that. Cutler extends his win streak to eight in a row.

Pretty Peter Avalon vs Angel Fashion 

Avalon starts with a microphone and does Justin Roberts’ job introducing his opponent for Pretty Peter’s Pageant Provocation. Avalon gets the win with Marti-knees and leaves Fashion a signed 8x10. 

Diamante and Ivelisse vs. KiLynn King and Tesha Price

Price and King synchronized their individual entry poses, which is a nice touch for a makeshift tag team. King shows some fire at the start, but Price is isolated by Diamante and Ivelisse. King gets the hot tag, but Diamante catches King with the Cuban Lynx to get the tapout win. Excalibur mentions the recent alliance with Jade Cargill, Nyla Rose, and Vickie Guerrero, so maybe they’re all the Vicious Vixens now?

The Gunn Club vs. Mike Verna and Bear Country

Okay, so on last week’s Dark report, I pointed out what looked to be a weird moment between Billy Gunn and Mike Verna, so let’s see if there is any residual effect to that with this match. Fans of the Beyond Wrestling and other northeast indies have a dream trio with Mike Verna teaming with Bear Country. Oh, look at that. Excalibur mentions that weird moment, and says Bear Country was Verna’s choice of backup. Hey, continuity! Verna and Austin start off, but Verna wants Billy, then tags out to Bear Boulder. Has Austin Gunn always had a giant tattoo of John Wayne on his shoulder? Verna and Bear Country work over the least experienced Colton for a good long time. Colton finally gets the tag to Austin. Austin hits Quick Draw on Verna for the win, and we are given multiple replays to show that Austin’s finisher isn’t just a hip toss, because the original camera angle makes it look like just a hip toss. But apparently, it’s not.

Vipress vs Shanna

Excalibur shouts out Vipress’ training with B-Boy in San Diego, joking that B-Boy’s dropkicks are why he wears the mask. Shanna is playing to the crowd, even though there’s only seven people ringside. Shanna gets the win after a version of Angel’s Wings. 

Baron Black vs Matt Sydal 

Sydal’s facing Cody on Dynamite this week, so clearly he’s gonna win. Taz and Excalibur put over the idea that Sydal no longer relies on the shooting star press and has added more submission to his game. Sydal wins with the Lightning Spiral, which feels like his fifth or sixth different finishing move in the past few months. 

Ashley Vox vs Thunder Rosa

I feel these two wrestled in NWA earlier this year. Vox is mentioned to be primarily a tag wrestlers with her sister in the Sea Stars, who recently competed on Impact in their women’s tag team tournament and are the current Shimmer Tag Team Champions. Thunder Rosa gets the win after a Fire Thunder Driver. 

I looked it up: Vox vs Rosa on NWA Power taped in October 2019. So I was wrong by a few months. 

Lee Johnson and Shawn Dean vs The Acclaimed 

You’d think Lee Johnson’s addition into the Nightmare Family would have been better for his record. Don’t know if Johnson or Dean now hold the Cutler/Avalon Award for winless streak. Max Caster tried to rhyme Captain Phillips with gimmick in his pre-match rap. Dave is right: Rick Knox never even tries to enforce the tag rules. The Acclaimed win. 

Fuego del Sol vs. Danny Limelight

Fuego is 0-7, Limelight is 0-5. Who will get their first win? Danny Limelight does with an exploder suplex off the top rope. Still no tornado DDT from Fuego del Sol. 

Frankie Kazarian vs. Griff Garrison vs. Angelico vs. Darius Martin

A four-way singles match featuring four wrestlers known for their tag team prowess. Their respective partners stay ringside. The bell rings, and Jack Evans starts being annoying on the outside. He eats a dropkick from Darius Martin, because of it. Looks like we’re going to get a Top Flight vs Hybrid 2 match soon. Jack Evans jumps on the apron a fifth time before one of the others on the outside do anything about it. Then, Darius Martin dives onto the four on the floor. Sassafras. Frankie Kazarian pins Griff Garrison for the win.

Sammy Guevara vs. Michael Nakazawa

Nakazawa sprays the stage with his oil. When Aubrey Edwards takes away that bottle, Nakazawa hides another in a turnbuckle. Guevara doesn’t slip on the stage. Guevara takes the early advantage until Nakazawa grabs the hidden oil and makes Guevara slip. The lens of the one ringside camera needs to be cleaned again. And Nakazawa goes for his thong. Guevara avoids it and hits a knee strike and the GTH to get the win. 

Guevara has the microphone and essentially issues an open challenge for next week and guarantees that he’ll be a champion in AEW. 

Alan “V” Angels vs. Serpentico.

Alan Angels comes out with the rest of the Dark Order, including -1, who is taunting Luther before the match. Luther stays ringside while the Dark Order returns to the back. Angels and Serpentico eventually fight to the outside and brawl on Peter Avalon’s ringside bed. Back in the ring, Angels goes for the Wing Snapper, but Serpentico gets out. And Taz’s phone goes off. Serpentico heads to the top, but Angels catches him with a knee strike. Serpentico attempts a Spanish fly, but Angels lands on his feet. Angels connects with the Wing Snapper and gets the pinfall. Dark Order comes back out and -1 has a mic. -1 says Luther looks stupid, and Dark Order will always beat you. 

Taz and Excalibur tell us what’s planned for Dynamite this week and say goodbye. 

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