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Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com!
We start off with our customary look back at last week's episode, then we go to the ring for our opening match...
Moose vs Trey Miguel
Fast start, as Trey uses his speed to outmaneuver Moose and send him to the outside with a flying headscissors. Moose drills Trey with a forearm on a dive attempt, but Trey baseball slides Moose out to the floor and makes faces at him. Moose appreciates that so much that he thanks Trey by powerbombing him onto the ring apron. Moose rolls Trey into the ring, Trey baseball slides him out, but Moose catches him on a second attempt and giant swings him into the ring steps. Trey catches a sunset flip for 2, then Moose tears his head off with a roaring clothesline. Trey blocks a superplex attempt, slips out underneath, and drop toeholds Moose into the corner. Trey is using his speed now, and comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick that sends Moose out to the floor. Trey takes Moose out with a dive, then quickly rolls him back inside and hits a frogsplash for 1. Moose plants Trey with a pop-up powerbomb for 2, a bicycle kick, a headbutt, Trey matrixes under a lariat, hits an enziguiri and an inverted Frankensteiner, double stomps the back of Moose's head, and covers for 2. Moose blocks a Codebreaker, rams Trey into the post a couple of times, and hits the spear for the win.
Winner: Moose
Good big man/little man match.
We go to the oVe Cam, and Sami tells Rich Swann that he could have had a family who would have been with him through EVERYTHING, but he turned his back on his family. They're going to face off in the ring and he will take everything that matters to him, starting with the X Division Title, and he will walk out the new champion tonight.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we head back to the ring for our next match...
Fallah Bahh & KM vs Eddie Edwards & Eli Drake
The announcers inform us that Eddie buys a plane ticket for Kenny as Bahh and Drake start us off, with Bahh steamrolling over Drake with a shoulderblock. Drake tries a slam, but Bahh is too heavy, falls on top of Drake, and gets him in a front facelock, out of which he Olympic rolls Drake around the ring. KM is in, catches Eddie in their half of the ring, and he and Bahh hit Eddie with a series of double teams until he gets caught in the wrong part of town, being put down with a series of double teams by Eddie and Drake. Drake puts KM on the top rope, Eddie hits a leaping enziguiri, and Drake runs up to hit a superplex a la Kurt Angle. Bahh flattens Drake with a crossbody, Eddie sidesteps Bahh and ditches him to the floor, then takes him out with a high impact dive. Eddie gets Kenny, the referee stops him, so he tosses Kenny to Drake, who parts KM's hair with it. Eddie hits the Boston Knee Party, and that does it.
Winners: Eli Drake & Eddie Edwards
Drake and Eddie actually make a really good team. I think Eddie's actually one of the unsung heroes of tag team wrestling in the modern era, every team he's in seems to turn to gold.
Rolando the Investigative Reporter tries to get Johnny Impact's reasoning behind last week's heel turn, but he and Taya blow him off and tell him to wait and find out with the rest of the marks.
The GWN Flashback takes us back to last year on Impact when Fenix challenged Brian Cage for the X Division Title.
Rolando is backstage pounding on Johnny Impact's dressing room door, and Taya comes out and shoves him into a trash can and tells him to get lost.
Rich Swann is backstage complaining about oVe to Willie Mack, who has had his back, but Swann says he's got this tonight with Sami. Mack says he'll take care of oVe so Swann doesn't have to worry about them. Ethan Page comes in and warns Swann that he's got his eyes on the X Division Title, and he'll see Mack later on tonight.
Ace Austin vs Jay Broni
Okay, that's not the other guy's name, but he didn't get an intro and pretty much immediately finds himself on the receiving end of a blinding flurry of offense from Austin. Austin dumps Broni to the floor, hits a pendulum baseball slide, and hits a SWEET somersault dive to the floor. Back into the ring where Austin connects with a Tidal Krush, springs off the top with a twisting senton, then he hits a running blockbuster for the win.
Winner: Ace Austin
Austin has some really nice stuff in his arsenal, looking forward to seeing what he does when he's not just hitting spots.
Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie are backstage, and they're...WALKING!
We see a video package of...some lady jogging in a park, then a video package of the history between Rich Swann and Sami Callihan.
Josh introduces Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie, and wastes no time asking why he turned on Brian Cage last night. Impact says the news and TMZ and everyone have been looking for answers, and it's because all the people are internet smart marks. From day one, he said he'd be a fighting champion, and he defended it more than any previous champion in Impact history, but the fans don't care about that. The same way people watch NASCAR for the wrecks, that's why they watch him, and as soon as a jacked up meathead showed up, now everyone started jumping on his bandwagon. He had to listen to people saying Cage got screwed in their first match, and Cage is too dumb to know people don't care about him,and he wants to know why the fans expect loyalty when they won't show him any. He cheated on the fans with himself, and he loved it. Josh steps over to Taya and wants her thoughts on her match with Jordynne Grace next week, and she says Jordynne is very talented but comes up short in certain areas, but the more important part is the mark fans who think they dictate what happens around here actually don't. The fans bled her husband dry, and that will not continue, and the next time someone comes looking for her title, she'll decide when and where because they have all the power and make all the rules. Josh reminds Johnny that he will face Cage again at Rebellion and wants to know if he'll get his match, and Impact says he's a man of his word, and he beat him before, and he'll do it again on PPV. He'll shut his big meathead mouth, and a lot can happen between now and then, and he just hopes Cage stays healthy. Impact used to really care about the fans, but now, there's only two things that matter to him: Taya and his title.
Rosemary teleports into Jim Mitchell's dressing room, and he says she doesn't realize that she won the battle and not the war. Rosemary says Mitchell promised her the bunny, but all she got was an empty meat suit, and wants to know where the soul is. Mitchell says he fulfilled his end of the deal, and if she has a problem, she can talk to "him". Rosemary isn't scared to talk to Him, and if she has to return to the undead realm to get the bunny back, that's what she'll do. She teleports away and leave Mitchell looking angered.
We see a video package of Jordynne Grace, then it's back to the ring...
Ethan Page vs Willie Mack
Page gets the jump on Mack and overpowers him with hard hitting offense until Mack pops him into a Samoan drop and htis a standing moonsault. Page rolls to the floor to catch a breather, and drills Mack with a bicycle kick when he comes out after him. Mack comes out of nowhere with a Yakuza kick in the corner, shotgun kicks Page into the corner, and plants him with a DDT for 2. Mack goes to the second rope, Page takes him off with Iconoclasm, and comes off the second rope himself with an elbowdrop for 2. Mack drills Page with a spinkick and hits a stunner for the win.
Winner: Willie Mack
Really good big man match.
Rolando is backstage getting blown off by Johnny and Taya again, but Killer Kross shows up and tells Impact "Bravo." Then he whispers something in Impact's ear, and Impact says today keeps getting better and better. He walks off, and Kross looks consternated.
We see a video package of Scarlett Bordeaux and Glenn Gilbertti, and then Rolando finds Disco doing shots as his training. He says it won't be a challenge because he's going against a woman, and next week, he'll teach Scarlett the fact of life that a woman cannot beat a man. He tips the waiter, who is wearing a referee shirt for some reason.
Melissa Santos catches Gail Kim coming out of Impact management's office, and Gail says Tessa Blanchard's lawyers demand a public apology, and she'll do what she has to do. Their conversation is interrupted by LAX and the Lucha Bros brawling in the hallway. Konnan and a bunch of people finally come and break it up as we go to commercial.
Willie Mack returns to his dressing room, and oVe comes in behind him, shuts the door, and proceeds to beat the crap out of him...oh no they don't, he walks out and locks the door behind him, so apparently the Crists got smacked up in there.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, and then it's main event time!
X Division Title Match: Rich Swann vs Sami Callihan
They go at it right from the start, and quickly go to the outside. Sami tries to piledrive Swann onto the ring steps, but Swann backdrops him off, then springboards off the steps with a double stomp. Sami pops Swann over with an exploder suplex onto the ramp, and we're at commercial.
We're back, and Swann is still in deep trouble. He finally hits a stunner, but it has nowhere near the impact of his much huskier friend Willie, so he unloads with right hands instead. Sami nearly drives Swann through the mat with a powerbomb for 2, but Swann connects with a series of superkicks and comes off the second rope with a 450 splash for 2. Swann goes for a super Frankensteiner, and Sami blocks and nearly breaks Swann in half with a super powerbomb for 2, then goes right into a Crippler crossface. Sami spits the hugest loogie in history in Swann's face, but Swann returns the favor and hits a Lethal Injection for 2. Swann gets a victory roll and that is enough for 3.
Winner: Rich Swann
Sami attacks Swann after the match, gets a chair from under the ring, and menaces Swann with it. Swann hits a spinning enziguiri and comes after Sami with the chair, but somebody Josh identifies as Madman Fulton comes in the ring, yanks the chair out of Swann's hand, chokeslams Swann, and pats Sami on the head while revealing he's wearing an oVe shirt. Willie Mack runs in and attacks Fulton, who just hoists him into the air and hits Baron Corbin's finish. Fulton holds Swann so Sami can bash him in the face with his bat, and that wraps it up for us this week.
Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com, I'll be back on Sunday to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!
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