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Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com!
We start off with a video look back at two weeks ago (guess we're going to pretend that whole Disco Inferno/turkey thing last week never happened), then we go right to the ring for our opening match...
Rich Swann & Willie Mack vs Pentagon Jr & Fenix
Swann and Fenix start us off with a feeling out process, with some lucha equivalent of feeling out (ie doing a bunch of flippy dippy and winding up at a stalemate) thrown in for laughs. Pentagon and Willie tag in and get in each other's face, but Fenix and Swann come in before they make contact, everyone trades hard hits, and everyone is down in under ten seconds. Pentagon fires some shots off at Willie, Willie hits him with a pump kick, and catches Pentagon completely off guard with a flying headscissors. Flapjack/bulldog combo by Swann and Mack, and Fenix tries to get involved, but winds up on the receiving end of a Samoan drop and a standing 450 from Swann. Another standing 450 to Pentagon gets 2. Fenix comes back in and this time, a series of double teams from the Lucha Bros turns the tide. They hit WHAZZZZUPPPPPPPP on Swann, then a pop-up splash on Willie gets 2. Swann drags Fenix out to the floor and drills him with a spinkick to the jaw, but Willie dumps Pentagon to the floor and takes him out with a somersault dive. Swann with a twisting dive to the floor that takes Willie and Pentagon out, and now it's Fenix's turn. We're at commercial.
We're back, and Fenix is in trouble, coming up on the wrong end of a chop exchange with Willie. Fenix drills Willie with a spinkick to the face out of nowhere, but Swann stops him from coming off the top. Fenix dumps Swann to the apron, hits Willie with an inverted Frankensteiner, then the Lucha Bros hit a double stomp/cradle piledriver combo on Swann on the apron. Pentagon off the top with a double stomp to Willie, followed by a rolling wheelbarrow splash for the win.
Winners: Pentagon Jr & Fenix
Great opener! LAX comes out after the match, and Ortiz says that match was fuego. They've gone through everyone thrown in their paths, and who better to take on next but familia? Santana says they've taken the straps around the world and beaten the best teams out there, but one thing they haven't done but want to do is give their brothers, their familia, a shot at the belts. Santana says January 6th at Homecoming, they finally give the people what they want. The fans dig that, and Pentagon says something in Spanish I don't get, but it seems like they said yes. All four men raise their hands together and they hug it out. Something hincky's going to go down here, I can just smell it.
Josh reminds us that Ultimate X will return at Homecoming as well, then he runs down tonight's card before throwing us to a video package hyping Brian Cage's title shot coming up at Homecoming.
We go to the LAX clubhouse, where Konnan is livid over what Ortiz and Santana just did. He says he's been down this road before with Eddy Guerrero, he saw it with Rey Mysterio Jr and Juventud Guerrera, and the same thing when Homicide and Hernandez turned their backs on them. He says once you cross that line, even if you have good intentions, there's no turning back. He says he hopes LAX knows what they just did, because he knows what he has to do now. Konnan brushes past them and storms out.
Katarina vs Jordynne Grace
Katarina tries and fails to outwrestle Jordynne, whose power is overwhelming. Josh and Don try to convince us of how much time they spend watching the GWN app as Jordynne flattens Katarina with a shoulderblock. Jordynne with a NASTY looking spinebuster for a couple of 2 counts. Katarina finally floors Jordynne with a bicycle kick, but Jordynne gets her foot on the bottom rope at 1. Jordynne simply won't budge on a snapmare attempt by Katarina, so Katarina uses the hair and gets Jordynne in a rear chinlock. Katarina gets the bodyscissors and tries to trap Jordynne in the middle of the ring, but that doesn't exactly work, so she tries a whip into the corner, Jordynne reverses, and Katarina hits so hard she nearly goes through the turnbuckles. Katarina with a chinbreaker for 2. Jordynne nearly knocks Katarina into the next ZIP code with a Pounce, then drills Katarina with a charging back elbow in the corner. Jordynne gets Katarina in the bearhug and Katarina taps out.
Winner: Jordynne Grace
I think Katarina was the real winner by living through this. Jordynne is a strong, strong lady I would not want to mess with.
KM and Fallah Bahh are backstage, and KM is upset that they blew their shot against LAX, but they're still in Las Vegas, so they're going to go out on the town tonight. Seven minutes later, they're both crying because they lost every penny they had. The Smoke Show begins, and Scarlett gives them her usual pep talk: they used to be ON TOP, but now they're ON THE BOTTOM. How enlightening.
The GWN flashback takes us back to a previous Ultimate X match from a year or two ago with Andrew Everett, Shane Helms, Low Ki, and Trevor Lee.
One of the referees comes into Tessa Blanchard's dressing room and gives her a lecture for putting her hands on him, which I guess must have happened sometime recently. She doesn't seem impressed, and more or less blows him off.
McKenzie is backstage with Tommy Dreamer, who says that Eli Drake is everything he hates about society. He calls him a skinny-jeaned millenial who doesn't care about the people who paved the way for him, and he got into the business because he wanted to be an actor. He doesn't remember any great Eli Drake movies, he wasn't Tough Enough for Steve Austin, he lost the Impact World Title, and was too complacent to try and climb back up the mountain. He doesn't care if Eli Drake calls him fat (or as millenials call it, fat shaming) because people have been doing that since 1995, and he won't end his career, because his career will end when he says it does.
Ray Lyn vs Taya Valkyrie
Lyn shoves Taya and does a kind of Mexican shimmy dance thing, Taya does it back to her, and quickly finds herself on the receiving end of a series of hard kneestrikes and a second rope dropkick for 2. Taya catches Lyn with a couple of corner clotheslines and a running butt in the corner, followed by a charging double kneestrike in the corner for 2. Lynn takes Taya down and does a sort of twerk shake in her face, but that just makes Taya mad, and she takes Lyn down, curb stomps her, then gets her in an Indian deathlock version of an STF for the quick tapout win.
Winner: Taya Valkyrie
First time I've seen that finish, pretty sweet! Tessa Blanchard comes in and attacks Taya, and the referee from before comes in to order her to stop, so Tessa beats him up and chokes him until three more referees come out to yell at her. She ignores them too, and the referee is turning red, so Sonjay Dutt and Scott D'Amore come out to convince her to stop as well. finally Gail Kim runs in and yanks Tessa off. Tessa is so stunned at Gail in her face that she doesn't see Taya coming in with a spear that drives her out to the floor. Tessa gives Gail her you know what for as she backs off to the locker room.
Video package of Johnny Impact as he talks about his upcoming match with Brian Cage. Killer Kross comes in during his promo and tells the cameraman to take a walk so he could talk to Johnny Impact. He says Brian Cage says he'll do whatever it takes to win, and he wants Impact to know what that really means. Impact tells Kross to just spit out whatever he means, then changes his mind and says nevermind. Impact walks out as Kross yells at him that he's missing the bigger picture here.
The Rascals vs Mike Sydal & Chris Bay
Desmond Xavier and Sydal start us off, and they trade flippy dippy stuff until Xavier drills him with a dropkick. Sydal with a split dropdown, dropkicks Xavier, and does a hands-free bridge to his feet. Wentz tags in and hits Sydal with a corkscrew crossbody. Bay tags in and hits a flying headscissors, but Xavier tags in to hit a flurry of corner double teams on Bay for 2. Rascals with an assisted standing moonsault on Sydal for the win.
Winners: The Rascals
Good debut, I've seen these guys in PWG for a while and I'm looking forward to seeing more of them here.
McKenzie is backstage with Kiera Hogan, who says the darkness hasn't consumed Allie just yet, because when she stood face-to-face with Allie, she didn't hurt her, because she knows her friend would never do that. Kiera appeals to Allie not to let the darkness consume her, to fight it. She says she knows Anakin Skywalker is still in there...oh wait, wrong show. She begs Allie to come home. If Su Yung starts using Sith lightning, I'm outta here.
We go to Shady Acres Mental Hospital in Baltimore, where Alisha says she's sorry, but her only other choice was for him to go up the river for 20 years. Eddie's not answerin, so Alisha asks the doctor what's going on, and he says it'll take time for the meds to take effect, but once they do, the man she loves will be back. The doctor escorts Alisha out, and while they're gone, Moose comes in and brought a book with him: Anything Is Possible: The Eddie Edwards Story. He says there's a lot of things missing from this book, like when Eddie turned his back on him, or when Moose powerbombed him on the ramp. He skips to the end to talk about winning championships, but he doesn't mention being stuck in a nuthouse. Maybe Eddie will get out of here one day...after all, anything is possible, but he'll stop to check on Alisha on the way home because she seemed pretty upset. Moose walks off, and Eddie looks...well, he looks gone.
McKenzie is backstage with Eli Drake, who says he doesn't have an issue with hardcore wrestling, it's with Impact Wrestling. He thinks he maybe should apologize to Tommy Dreamer because it seems like he struck a nerve, but he wasn't even talking about or to him. However, he sees a weak ego who thinks he's gonna stand up to the top man in this business, and just like he sent Abyss to the graveyard, Tommy is going right to the retirement home, and after that, they've got a coffin sitting outside, and they can send him six feet under, YEAH.
Matt Sydal is backstage telling Ethan Page that he knew the path to enlightenment would be fraught with suffering, but Page says he needs to just let it roll off his back. The old Ethan Page would have been so mad that Sydal got pinned at Bound For Glory, but Sydal taught him that the universe has a plan. Sydal knows that, but this isn't working, and he's not sure what Page doesn't understand about this being the wrong path. He wants to show Page the higher perspective, and they'll face each other for a chance to be in Ultimate X. Page says he's ready if Sydal thinks that'll teach him the way, and Sydal says that's what he'll do.
IT'S MAIN EVENT TIME!
Eli Drake vs Tommy Dreamer
Tommy turns this into a brawl right from the start, punching, kicking, and biting Drake. Drake keeps up with him, going to the eyes, but Dreamer hits an Ace Crusher out of nowhere and sends Drake rolling to the floor. Drake backs up the ramp and intentionally gets counted out.
Winner by countout: Tommy Dreamer
Well, Dreamer doesn't seem happy with that. Josh has a mic and stands up from the broadcast table to inform everyone that Impact officials ordered this match restarted under No DQ rules. Well, looks like the match is back on...
No DQ Match: Eli Drake vs Tommy Dreamer
We're back, and Dreamer is beating Drake up at the top of the ramp, then he drags a trash can full of weapons out of the back. He bashes Drake with a trash can lid, then pours the can out at ringside and smashes a pizza box over Drake's head. Dreamer puts the ring bell over Drake and rings his ding ding. Dreamer shoves an old lady's cane up Drake's rear loading dock and goes for a suplex on the floor, but Drake reverses and drops Dreamer flat onto the entry ramp. Drake with a traffic cone to Dreamer's head, then a cookie sheet neckbreaker gets 2. Dreamer tries to fire back, and Drake hits a drop toehold that sends Dreamer crashing face first into the back of an opened folding chair. That looked UGLY. Drake tries to come off the second rope with a Cactus-style chair elbow, but Dreamer gets his boot up. He goes for a DDT on a chair, but Drake counters to an STO onto the chair for 2. Dreamer gets a DDT for 2, but Drake reverses a whip and sends Dreamer into a trash can in the corner, then hits the Gravy Train and makes a cover...for 2! NOBODY KICKS OUT OF THE GRAVY TRAIN! Drake gives Dreamer a chair necklace and bashes the chair with an oar. He makes a cover, and that's finally enough to put the Innovator of Violence down.
Winner: Eli Drake
Great main event. Drake picks up another oar and holds it up in victory as he heads to the back. He comes through the curtain and finds a card with his name on it and some balloons waiting for him. He opens the card, appears surprised and unhappy with whatever it says, and storms off.
Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com, I'll be back Monday to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!
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