Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com!
Bobby Lashley shows up with American Top Team, who start roughing people up backstage because they can. We see a video package hyping tonight's main event, and then we're off to the arena where we go right into our opening match...
Braxton Sutter vs Garza Jr
They do flippy dippy to start, but then Garza goes to the second rope and Sutter grounds ihm with a springboard neckbreaker for 2. Garza comes back with some clotheslines and blows a kis to Allie, and Josh says she's asking for it with the outfit she has on. Such a f'ing PC company. Garza maintains control until Sutter uses Allie as a human shield to block a dive, then hits a sitout powerbomb for a series of 2 counts. Garza hits a superkick and a Lionsault for the win.
Winner: Garza Jr
It was typical X Division. Garza helps Allie into the ring to check on Sutter, who flips out on her before coming back to apologize. He tries dragging her to the back but she won't go, so this time he tells her to go to the back and she grudgingly does.
Let's not waste any time, our next match is up right now!
Grand Championship Match: Ethan Carter III vs El Hijo Del Phantasmo
EC3 stalls for the first minute, but Hijo gets some armdrags and hiptosses to take EC3 to the mat. EC3 gets free, snaps Hijo's neck on the mat, and drops a couple of elbows for a 2 count. EC3 hitsa TK3 over the top rope to the floor, and he goes out to the floor and bashes Hijo's face into the mat a few times for good measure as the round ends.
EC3 wins the first round on a unanimous decision to no surprise, and Hijo tries to start the second round hot, but EC3 takes him right back to the mat with a double sledge, then a snap suplex for 2. EC3 locks Hijo in a three quarter nelson, but Hijo gets free and snaps EC3 over with a flying headscissors, then a top rope Frankensteiner. Hijo goes to the top and hits a Superfly splash for 2. Less than a minute left in the round as Hijo blocks the 1% and locks EC3 in the Mexican surfboard just as the clock runs down to end the second round. Judges give Hijo the second round by unanimous decision as we go to commercial.
We're back for the third round, and EC3 gets a quick rollup for 2, then lifts Hijo up for a couple of powerbombs for another 2. Hijo comes back and goes for an armbar, but EC3 powers out and hits the TK3 for 2. EC3 goes for a third TK3, but Hijo dropkicks him to the floor and connects with a dive that knocks the barricade back a few feet. 30 seconds left as Hijo rolls EC3 into the ring, but EC3 connects with a kneestrike coming in and hits a hanging 1%, but bonks his knee coming down and doesn't make it to the cover in time.
The bell rings and the referee goes to the judges, who determine that our winner is...
Winner: Ethan Carter III
The match came to a split decision and hinged on Hector Guerrero (the AAA judge) and his vote, which went to EC3. Hijo flips out on him for not making a biased decision, but Hector shoves Hijo back and Hijo goes into the ring to confront EC3, and distract him so Pagano can run in and jump EC3 from behind. Eddie Edwards runs in to fight the Mexicans off, but EC3 doesn't quite seem to appreciate the help, and walks off on Eddie.
We go down to Tijuana, where LAX...GOES TO A STRIP CLUB! They adjourn to the mobile LAX clubhouse (the lap dance room) and Konnan tells his ho that their business will have to wait, because he needs to confer with LAX and tells them they paid the ref off.
Back to Tijuana, where we see oVe arrive at the arena and discover that the match will also include two other teams I've never heard of. This isn't the actual match in its entirety, it's highlights along the lines of the EXPEDEESHUN OF GOLD by the Broken Hardys. They have a match, oVe nearly wins by pinning one of the other teams, and they distract the ref while Homicide comes in and hits the Cop Killa to set up the Street Sweeper for the win. After the show, oVe comes up to LAX as they hang out by the ring, and find themselves surrounded by about two dozen Mexican guys. Konnan says they're a long way from the trailer park, and suggests they disappear before Konnan makes them disappear. oVe decides that, since they know where LAX's clubhouse is at, they're going to go have some fun.
Grado vs William Weeks
This is Grado's farewell match before he gets deported, and Weeks backjumps Grado, but Grado fires back and hits a flip flop n' fly followed by a big boot for the quick win.
Winner: Grado
Grado gets the mic and says that he leaves tomorrow morning at 10 AM for Glasgow, on British Airways, in coach, a middle seat, and he only has two words because each of the fans are the greatest in the entire world, and from the bottom of his heart for letting him live his dream, he wants to say thank you. Joseph Park suddenly comes out to tell Grado to hang on one second, and he's got big news: as of noon this afternoon, the law offices of Park, Park & Park have opened a sports entertainment management division, and Grado is going to be his first signe, and that means Grado works for him, he sponsors his visa, and Grado gets to stay in the United States! Grado is overjoyed and hugs Park, and they jump up and down in joy. Park gives Grado the paperwork and contract and pen, and the crowd thanks "THANK YOU JOSEPH!" Grado signs it on Park's back, and PArk says it's time to get to work getting Grado bookings, appearances, in-ring polaroid shoots, and all 600 podcasts the boys rave about. They're gonna make a ton of money, and it's time to put some hustle behind that muscle! Grado goes to ringside and hugs all the fans in the front row.
Trevor Lee is backstage, and he's...GETTING FIRED UP BY CALEB KONLEY! And Sonjay Dutt is backstage, and he's...WARMING UP! They'll face off after this break!
McKenzie Mitchell is backstage with Johnny Impact, who says his match with Low Ki is one of the last dream matches there are, and it happens tonight.
Bobby Lashley and American Top Team come into Jim Cornette's office to tell him he wants a full release so he can go with American Top Team to dedicate himself to MMA. Cornette tries to convince Lashley he'll make more money here than he will in MMA, then says he wants the rest of American Top Team out of here. He'll give Lashley his release, but first he has to face Moose tonight. American Top Team says they'll see Lashley back at the hotel because it'll be easyt money tonight, then he thanks Cornette and leaves.
X Division Falls Count Anywhere Match: Sonjay Dutt vs Trevor Lee
Trevor Lee sends Caleb Konley to the back before the match. Lee immediately jumps Sonjay as he gets in the ring and goes for a pinfall on the floor, but only gets 2. Lee chokes Sonjay with his own shirt and rams him into the ringpost. Sonjay responds by sitting Trevor in a chair and hitting a crossbody on the floor for 2. Back into the ring where Trevor whips Sonjay hard into the corner and covers for 2. Lee with a bicycle kick, Sonjay responds with one of his own, followed by stereo big boots that floor both men. Sonjay suddenly catches Lee with a tornado DDT, but gets caught going to the top and Lee hits a superplex. Sonjay rolls to the floor, but Lee goes after him and covers for 2. Sonjay floors Lee and hits a standing moonsault on the floor for 2 as we go to commercial.
We're back, and they fought out to the garage where Sonjay is working both Trevor Lee and Caleb Konley over with a trash can lid. Sonjay goes for a tornado DDT off the wall, but Lee drops him crotch first on a barricade, Konley hits a spinning backfist, and Trevor rolls Sonjay up, holds the tights, and braces against a nearby pole to score the win.
Winner and NEW X Division Champion: Trevor Lee
American Top Team runs into Richard Justice backstage, and Justice is a big fan of them and asks to join, so they beat the crap out of him.
We see a video package of Global Forged, with guys trying to promo their way into GFW at Scott D'Amore's school.
Taya Valkyrie vs Amber Nova
Amber tries to jump Valkyrie to start, but ends up getting dumped on the mat for her troubles. Nova tries a flying headscissors, but Taya catches her and hits a sitout powerbomb, but pulls her up at 2. Taya hits a double armbar facebuster for the easy win.
Winner: Taya Valkyrie
Solid debut.
We go backstage to Eli Drake and Chris Adonis, and Drake says everyone is trying to reach unreachable heights because he's on another level. From day one since he became champion, Cornette didn't want Drake with that title, and he's dfoing everything he can to throw the toughest opponents he can in front of him, but he smells marks and he isn't losing this thing.
And now, it's...MAIN EVENT TIME!
#1 Contender's Match: Low Ki vs Johnny Impact
Feeling out process to start, and Low Ki takes Impact to the mat and gets him in a bodyscissors. Low Ki with a flying mule kick and works Impact over with shots in the corner. Low Ki gets a Dragon clutch in the ropes, and breaks just as we go to commercial.
We're back, and Johnny Impact is making his big babyface comeback with a series of kicks and a weird sliding German suplex I've never seen before. Low Ki blocks Starship Pain and gets a hanging Dragon clutch, then covers for 2. Impact blocks the Ki Krusher, but eats a Tidal Krush for 2. Impact comes back with a Tidal Krush of his own for 2, but Low Ki avoids the Spiral Tap and hits a shotgun dropkick for 2. Low Ki hangs Impact on the top rope and goes for a double stomp, but Impact moves nad Low Ki hangs himself on the top rope. Impact hits Starship Pain and that does it.
Winner: Johnny Impact
And Eli Drake's next challenger has been determined! Eli Drake comes out to distract Impact so Chris Adonis can come out of the crowd and jump him from behind. Drake gets in the ring and stands over Impact, then picks him up and hits the Gravy Train.
Back to Cornette's office, where he is desperately trying to convince Lashley to reconsider, but Lashley says he came here to say his goodbyes and go back to his boys who appreciate him since Cornette never did. Lashley goes to shake Cornette's hand, but pulls it away at the last second and walks off as Cornette says Lashley's going to learn the hard way.
Taya Valykrie literally grabs Karen Jarrett backstage and asks if she saw what she just did out there, and says she better remember it.
Bobby Lashley is in the ring and says he's been forced to make a decision between MMA and wrestling, and that decision is that he's going home, going back to fighting, and going back to his real friends and teammates. This is his last night in the Impact Zone, and since it's his last night, he's going to show his dominance as the only true, two-sport athlete. He has a little business to take care of, so he wants Moose to get his ass out here so he can leave the way he came in: at the top of his business. Moose comes out to the ring and lays Lashley out with a big shot. Lashley fires back with a series of right hands, and clotheslines Moose to the floor. Lashley continues the attack on the outside, and powerbombs Moose on the floor. Lashley goes for a spear, but Moose big boots him coming in and they fight into the crowd and onto the balcony. Back over the barricade and up the side of the rampway where Moose takes back over, smashing a trash can over Lashley's back. They brawl onto the stage where Lashley hits a neckbreaker, but Moose hits a ripcord rolling elbow that sends Lashley tumbling backward down the rampway. Moose spears Lashley on the floor, then dumps him into the ring, but American Top Team runs in and attacks Moose before he can do any more damage. Security runs in, but American Top Team and Lashley beat them up and toss them out of the ring, then pose over Moose's prone form as the show comes to a close.
That does it for this week's Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com! I'll be back on Sunday to discuss Impact and more with Dave scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!
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