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By Adam Cardoza on 2017-02-04 17:07:00

Chikara "National Pro Wrestling Day"

The Wrestle Factory - Philadelphia, PA


It's ChIkara's Season 17 opener, their annual free NPWD show! Head announcer Vlad Radinov is out to announce that we're going to be at capacity (over 200 fans are packing the Wrestle Factory) so everyone should get cozy. Today's show is hoping to raise $2000 to benefit The Superkick Foundation (

Young Lion's Cup 4-Way Eliminator #1: Space Monkey vs Delmi Exo vs Merlok vs Ashley Vox

Crowd is hot for both members of the Sea Stars, who start the match against each other. They trade some technical wrestling before Merlok hits the ring and dominates everyone. Delmi Exo is eliminated by Merlok's over shoulder driver. Monkey and Vox take turns fighting the giant newcomer but Vox is eliminated by another Merlok driver. Space Monkey is the crowd's last hope, hitting a hurracanrana, driving Merlok's head into the mat and getting the pin!

Winner: Space Monkey (advances to semi-finals)

Young Lion's Cup 4-Way Eliminator #2: Cajun Crawdad vs Evertt Connors vs Cornelius Crummels vs Razerhawk

To clarify: We have a crawfish, a smell old-timey carny, a futuristic hawk person and a Justin Bieber fanatic in the ring right now. The crowd chants the name of every boy band at Connors, whose Beiber standee meets its demise to Razerhawk's offense. A series of outside dives. Connors hits a hangman's piledriver on Crummels but is eliminated by a Crawdad sunset flip. Razerhawk rolls up Crawdad to eliminate him. Crummels dives off Crawdad's back to hit a MONSTEROUS curb stomp on Razerhawk to get the win! This was a lot of fun!

Winner: Cornelius Crummels (advances to semi-finals)

Young Lion's Cup 4-Way Eliminator #3: Travis "Flip" Gordon vs Fly Warrior vs Travis Huckabee vs Sonny Defarge

Gordon and Fly trade a bunch of Lucia offense. At one point Flip hits a spotlight with an outside dive. Defarge's constant runny nose is a source of wince-inducing offense, prefixing every hold with a nose wipe. Huckabee remains on the apron throughout this contest. Flip misses a 450 splash and falls to Fly Warrior's Falcon Arrow. Defarge survives Fly's onslaught and eliminates him with flu-assisted face slam. Travis Huckabee is finally in this match! Crowd is hot for the full-on 1980's babyface Huckabee. They trade slams and roll up attempts, until Huckabee finally reverses Defarge and gets the pin. 

Winner: Travis Huckabee (advances to semi-finals)

Young Lion's Cup 4-Way Eliminator #4: Sylverhawk vs Steven Mainz vs Hermit Crab vs The Whisper

The Crowd "shhh's" itself every time The Whisper hits the ring. All four combatants find themselves in a "human centipede" of chained submissions, getting rope breaks one at a time. Mainz hits an enziguri on Hermit Crab to get the first elimination, to the crowd's dismay. Sylverhawk hits a top rope skipping splash on Mainz to get the next pin. Whisper and Sylver fight to the outside, Sylver eventually misses another skipping splash and gets pinned with a running blockbuster. 

Winner: The Whisper

Missile Assault Man vs Race Jaxon 

The crowd likes Missile's helmet and encourage Jaxon to get one of his own. Jaxon demands that no one touches his face before slapping the taste out of Missile's mouth. He spends most of the match trying to avoid and squirm away from Missile's offense, taking as many cheap advantages as possible. Jaxon's pants don't QUITE fit and the crowd/Missile do a good job of reminding him of that. Missile almost gets pin off a series of running uppercuts and dropkicks. Jaxon takes his eyes while ref Bryce Remsburg is distracted and gets a three count off a handful of tights. 

Winner: Race Jaxon

The Colony (Fire/Worker/Silver Ant) vs The Legion of Rot (Hallowicked, Frightmare & Kobald)

 The Legion ambushes the Colony before the bell, battling around the arena. After taking out Fire and Silver, they manage to isolate and triple team Worker Ant for several minutes. Fire recovers first, breaks up a near fall and clears house but starts to fall to the numbers game. Silver gets in and holds on long enough for his teammates to recover, hitting several triple teams on Hallowicked. The Legion battles back. Frightmare ends things with a moonsault double knees to Worker's back and chokes him out while the rest of the Colony is held back. Frightmare refuses to break the hold after several bells rings, prompting Icarus, Ophidian and Sea Stars to run out and make the save. 

Winner: The Legion of Rot

Young Lion's Cup Semi-Final #1: Cornelius Crummels vs Space Monkey

Crummels spits in Monkey's face. Space Monkey hits a series of Monkey Flips. Crummels gets Monkey's tail into a submission. Monkey escapes by flicking Crummel's suspenders. Crummels steals Monkey's banana. Ref Bryce eats some that banana. Monkey eats the rest and hulks up to Crummel's offense. Crummels slips on the discarded banana and gets hit with a moonsault. Crummels almost gets a pin off an Unprettier. Monkey dodges a curb stomp and takes Crummels out with a tail whip to the face. This...was super silly but a lot of fun. 

Winner: Space Monkey (advances to the Finals)

Young Lion's Cup Semi-Final #2: Travis Huckabee vs The Whisper

Huckabee is still feeling the effects of Sonny Defarge previous post-match attack as Whisper works him over to the collective "shhh" of the crowd. Travis tries to battle back and get the submission, hitting a bridging suplex but can't get the pin due to pain. Huckabee hits a spinning face buster but ref Larry Peace to taken out in the process. Whisper grabs his yo-yo (wait, why DOES he have a yo-yo?) and hits a low-low blow-blow to get the pin when Peace recovers. 

Winner: The Whisper (advances to the Finals)

Chuck Taylor(tm) comes out to sing to the crowd.

Officers Bruno Meloni & Warren Barksdale vs The Closers (Rick Roland & Sloan Caprice)

First off, the police tag team has a police dog. The crowd chants for the dog. Barksdale and Meloni frisk the Closers, discovering their giant guns when they flex (hahaha). The Closers feign peaceful compliance when the cops are about to cuff them but decide to battle back (for "the boss"). Barksdale get a single cuff on Caprice before Roland lays both officers out, allowing the ref to start the match. Roland maintains control in the ring while Caprice attacks from the outside ("just trying to find the keys!") They maintain control over Barksdale, at one point sending a video message to their boss, The Big Deal. Meloni gets the hot tag, almost getting the pin with a Show Stopper. A buckle bomb/powerslam combo from Caprice. Barksdale manages to get the other cuff onto the rope, trapping Caprice and allowing the cops to take out Roland. They bring out the dog again to a huge pop. 

Winners: Officers Bruno Meloni & Warren Barksdale

Dasher Hatfield vs Juan Francisco de Coronado

We have a battle between the winners of the 2015 & 2016 Cibernetico match. Dasher comes out to a hero's welcome, has a huddle and high fives a baby. Juan waves the Equadorian flag and adjusts his bow tie. They trade strikes and powerbombs in the early going, crowd chanting for both guys. Juan almost wins off a german suplex. Dasher almost wins with a Jackhammer. Juan catches Dasher with a standing figure-four, getting a clean tap after dropping back to lock it in. 

Winner: Juan Francisco de Coronado

Ultramantis Black comes out. He says that with powerful questions come powerful answers. He reveals the Chikara Grand Championship around his waist (stolen from current champ Hallowicked, who'd previously enslaved him with the Eye of Tyr). He says he will be unstoppable. Sounds like UMB is back from retirement? 

Young Lion's Cup Final: Space Monkey vs The Whisper

They trade strikes in the early going, Monkey  missing a tail whip. They trade outside dives. Whisper hits a flipping stunner and almost wins. Whisper starts getting a "Shhhh shhhshhh" chant. Monkey misses another tail whip. Whisper misses a senton. Monkey hits a rolling senton and finally gets the tail whip to get the pin! 

Winner (and new Young Lion's Cup champion): Space Monkey

Vlad Radinov thanks everyone for the SEASON 18 OPENER.

We've missed a season somehow.

He announces Season 17 episode 1 is now streaming on Chikaratopia. 

I....I think Chikara is running two seasons at once.

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