Barrett is interrupted by Sheamus. He says that before he opens his mouth again, he says that Wade is not the star of Dead Man Down, Collin Farrell is. Sheamus tells Barrett if he has any objections, to respond. Sheamus says that we are out of time.
Wade wants to know what this is all about since they have ruined his big moment.
Match Number Four: Rosa Mendes, Epico and Primo versus Brodus Clay, Tensai, and Naomi (with Cameron)
The women start things off and they lock up. Rosa with a knee and slaps to Naomi. Naomi with a leaping butt block. Rosa with an Irish whip but Naomi goes to the apron and she hits a springboard cross body for a near fall. Naomi with a head scissors to Epico and Primo tags in.
Tensai punches Primo and hits a clothesline and follows with an elbow drop for a near fall. Naomi slides through Tensai’s legs for a baseball slide on Epico and Rosa. Clay tags in and they hit a double splash for the three count.
Winners: Tensai, Brodus Clay, and Naomi
Michael Cole mentions the press conference and we see footage of the announcement that Wrestlemania XXX will be in New Orleans on April 6, 2014.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Zeb and Jack are in the ring. Jack tells his fellow Americans last night is what happens when you live with dignity, respect, and patriotism. Last night, not only did he conquer the Elimination Chamber, he put the weight of our nation on his shoulders. Tonight is not about him, it is about something much bigger. Tonight is about our country. Tonight is about the state of the union and there is only one man brave enough, wise, and honest enough to give it. That man is a greater American . . . Zeb Coulter.
Zeb says that he wants to thank our Founding Fathers for creating a great democratic instrument like the Bill of Rights. It gives him the ability to exercise his first amendment rights.
Blame falls upon the people who live in this country illegally. Those people don’t have any qualms about taking our medical care, jobs, education, and our freedom. It is high time that we do something about this. There is a big problem in this country. Real Americans need to stand up and say no more. That is what Jack Swagger is prepared to do.
Last night, Jack Swagger won the right to challenge for the title at Wrestlemania. That match is more than a World Title Match. It is a battle for the heart and soul of this country. You have a Real American and patriot by the name of Jack Swagger. On the other side, you have the World Champion named Alberto Del Rio. This man came into this country to reap the benefits of this country.
Jack Swagger will capture the World Title and he will reclaim America. That is a country that Zeb says that he can be proud of again.
Match Number Five: Daniel Bryan versus Jack Swagger (with Zeb Coulter)
The match is joined in progress and Swagger with a waist lock. Bryan with kicks to Swagger’s leg. Bryan with a sunset flip for a near fall. Bryan sets for a surfboard but Swagger is able to avoid the hold. Bryan with a drop toe hold and Swagger goes into the turnbuckles. Bryan kicks the ropes and it goes into Swagger’s face. Bryan gets a near fall.
Bryan works on the shoulder to get ready for the No Lock. Bryan with a kick to the chest but Swagger clotheslines Bryan over the top rope to the floor. Bryan with a drop kick on the floor and then he goes to the apron and misses the knee. Swagger runs Bryan into the ringside barrier and he gets a near fall.
Swagger with a boot to the chest and he works on the injured ribs. Swagger with knees to the chest followed by a biel. Swagger with a running knee into the corner. Swagger traps the arms to add more pressure to the ribs. Bryan with elbows to Swagger but Swagger with a knee to the midsection. Swagger with a double jump Swagger Bomb for a near fall.
Swagger runs into an elbow from Bryan and then he kicks Swagger. Bryan with punches to Swagger. Swagger with a knee and Bryan flips over Swagger and then he hits the flying clothesline. Swagger charges at Bryan and Swagger goes over the top rope to the floor. Bryan with a suicide dive onto Swagger.
Bryan goes up top for a missile drop kick and he connects and Bryan gets a near fall. Bryan with kicks of No to the chest. Bryan misses the round kick and Swagger picks up Bryan and sends him to the mat with a slam. Bryan tries for the No Lock and he applies it but Swagger gets to the ropes and Bryan has to release the hold.
Bryan misses the running drop kick into the corner and he holds his ankle. Swagger puts Bryan’s foot in the rope and then he drops down onto the ankle. Swagger clips the leg and Bryan goes down hard. Swagger with the ankle lock on Bryan and Daniel taps out.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Paul Heyman is walking in the back and we go to commercial.
We are back and Vickie Guerrero is excuse meing in the ring with Paul Heyman. She introduces herself and she says that she does not want to waste any more time (even though it was mentioned almost an hour ago) about Paul’s future. Vickie says that she is going to be naming a new assistant for herself. Her assistant is Brad Maddox.
Brad says that it is a reward for his loyalty and his services to this company for exposing the relationship between Paul Heyman and The Shield. Vince McMahon is so happy with him that Vince gave him the opportunity of a lifetime.
Vickie reminds him that he is the Assistant to the Managing Supervisor.
Paul wants to know if this is the big surprise because he does not care about what either of them have to say.
Vince McMahon appears on the TitanTron and he says that it is time for Paul’s surprise. Vince is ‘Live via Satellite’.
Paul says that he looks fantastic.
Vince says that when Paul’s mouth is open, he is lying. Vince reminds Paul about the condition for the stipulation at the WWE Title Match at the Elimination Chamber.
Vince corrects Paul and he says that everyone knows that he doesn’t have a heart. If he did, it would be black and cold.
We go to the video tape of Paul saying he would do anything. Vince says that ‘anything’ was put in writing.
Vince tells Paul that anything means anything. He could fire Paul right now. That might be a good idea. Vince says firing is too good for him. Since he is two weeks removed from hip surgery due to Brock Lesnar and him. Vince tells Paul to shut up when Paul tries to say that it wasn’t him.
Next week, Vince will walk to the ring on his crutches and Paul and him are going to have a fight.
Paul looks almost as pale as Sheamus after Vince’s announcement.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Six: Sheamus, Ryback, and Chris Jericho versus Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins
Ryback starts things off and he goes after Rollins and sends him into the corner. Ryback with shoulders and Jericho makes sure that he does not get disqualified. Rollins is able to get to his corner and tag in Ambrose. Jericho with forearms to Ambrose followed by a back elbow. Jericho with a suplex followed by a chop and forearms. Jericho with kicks but Ambrose with an Irish whip. He runs into a boot and Jericho with a missile drop kick for a near fall.
Ambrose with a waist lock but Jericho with an elbow. Ambrose with a knee to the midsection but Jericho with a cross body for a near fall. Sheamus tags in and Ambrose makes the tag to Reigns. Reigns yells at Sheamus and Sheamus with a kick and forearms. They exchange punches and Reigns backs Sheamus into the corner.
Reigns with a kick to the chest but Sheamus with two running double sledges followed by a shoulder into the corner. Sheamus with a knee lift and White Noise to Reigns. Sheamus looks around for the Orton point and he pounds his chest to set up the Brogue Kick. Rollins pulls Reigns out of the ring and Sheamus gives Ambrose a Brogue Kick and Ambrose falls off the apron and into the ringside barrier as we go to commercial.
We are back and Reigns with a reverse chin lock on Sheamus. Sheamus with punches to Reigns followed by knees and he tags in Ambrose. Ambrose with a drop kick to Sheamus followed by a drop kick from Rollins for a near fall. Rollins gets another near fall. Rollins with a front face lock. Rollins with a kick and he tags in Reigns. Sheamus with kicks to Reigns followed by a clothesline.
Both men are down and Ryback tags in and he goes after everyone. Ryback with a back body drop to Rollins followed by a spinebuster. Ryback sets for the lariat and he hits it. Ryback says that it is over and he gets Rollins up for the marching muscle buster and Reigns with another spear while the referee is distracted by Ambrose.
Rollins gets a near fall. Ambrose tags in and he kicks Ryback and stomps on his abdomen. Ambrose with punches. Ryback with a few shots to Ambrose but Ambrose stays in control. Ambrose runs his forearm across Ryback’s face. Ambrose punches Ryback and Reigns tags in. Reigns chokes Ryback in the ropes and then Ambrose chokes him while the referee was not watching.
Rollins tags in and he kicks Ryback. Rollins with kicks to the head and he keeps Ryback on the mat but Ryback kicks out easily. Ambrose tags in and he punches Ryback. Ambrose with a front face lock into a neck breaker and Ambrose gets a near fall.
Reigns tags back in and he punches Ryback. Reigns misses a splash into the corner when Ryback moves. Reigns gets caught in the ropes for a moment and Ambrose and Jericho tag in. Jericho with a few shoulder tackles followed by a springboard drop kick to Rollins on the apron followed by a bulldog to Ambrose. Jericho with a Lionsault to Ambrose but Ambrose kicks out.
Ambrose counters a Walls of Jericho set up into an inside cradle. Reigns sends Ryback into the ring post while Jericho puts Ambrose in the Walls of Jericho. Sheamus takes Reigns down and the referee takes care of the big men. That allows Rollins to hit a knee to the head on Jericho from the turnbuckles and Ambrose gets the three count.
Winners: Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins
We go to commercial.
We are back and Kofi Kingston is in the ring but his opponent has something to say.
Damien tells the uninformed halfwits that today is President’s Day. It is a day that he holds near and dear to his heart. It is common knowledge that several members of the Sandow family have served as advisors to Presidents. His family came up with the idea for the New Deal. Tonight, he proposes a New Deal. He tells all of the nitwits to remain silent. It will allow him to save everyone from the doldrums of their own ignorance.
Sandow attacks Kingston before the bell. Sandow with a front face lock and kicks to Kofi. Sandow sends Kofi shoulder first into the ring post. Sandow with knees to the chest and R Truth’s music plays.
Truth with a double leg take down and he sends Sandow into the ringside barrier. Truth with a leg lariat and then he does a split before kicking Sandow. Truth with a scissors kick and then he clotheslines Sandow over the top rope to the floor.
Truth checks on Kofi.
Josh Mathews is with some of Rock’s co-stars in G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Seven: Kane versus Randy Orton
They lock up and Orton with a side head lock and Kane with a shoulder tackle. Kane favors one arm after the shoulder tackle. Orton with a kick and punches to the injured arm. Orton works on the arm. Kane with an Irish whip but he runs into a boot from Orton. Orton sits on the turnbuckles and he punches Kane. Kane with an uppercut that sends Orton from the turnbuckles to the floor and we go to commercial.
We are back and Kane with a reverse chin lock. Orton with punches to Kane and a kick to the chest. Orton avoids a clothesline but he cannot avoid a boot and Kane gets a near fall. Kane chokes Orton with his knee and he sends Orton into the turnbuckles. Orton with punches and Kane with a DDT and he gets a near fall. Kane with a reverse chin lock. Kane punches Orton and then he Irish whips Orton and connects with an Irish whip. Kane misses the second one. Orton with a clothesline in the corner and punches from the turnbuckles. Orton with a drop kick.
Orton with the Garvin Stomp. Kane with a clothesline to Orton and he gets a near fall. Kane with a drop kick to Orton for a near fall. Kane returns to the reverse chin lock. Orton with punches and then Kane misses a clothesline and Orton with a power slam.
Kane with a side slam to Orton for a near fall. Kane goes up top for the clothesline but Orton moves. Orton sends Kane to the apron for the IEDDT but Kane gets into the ring and he crotches Orton on the top rope.
Daniel Bryan comes to the ring, against the wishes of his tag team partner and Orton hits an RKO and gets the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
We go to commercial.
We are back and the University of Louisiana Lafayette band is going to perform before the Rock makes his way to the ring.
FINALLY, the Rock makes his way to the ring after doing the Brahma Bounce on the stage.
There is a table in the ring with something covered up.
Rock takes the mic and he says that CM Punk did everything last night to try to win and he showed that he was a piece of human garbage by spitting in his face. Rock says that Punk failed for the second time in a row to beat him and Rock pinned him twice. That allowed the Rock to wake up in New Orleans and then he drove to this arena and walk down that aisle.
Rock is proudly holding his WWE Title belt. He tells us FINALLY the Rock has come back to La fay ette.
Forty-eight days until Wrestlemania and he will be going to Wrestlemania as the WWE Champion, but he will not be going there with this belt. He has been around this business for a long time and he has deep respect for the WWE Championship. When the current belt was unveiled eight years ago, it worked. There were some people who thought this title was cool. There were also some people who believed in Bigfoot.
The WWE Title should never look like a toy. It should never . . . ever . . . ever spin. Rock gives the title belt to someone to take it to the back.
The WWE Title, whether you are a WWE Superstar, a member of the WWE Universe, or watching for the first time, it should inspire you. From Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, to Steve Austin.
Rock unveils the new title belt.
Rock says that he assumes that the people of Lafayette love the title. He says that he wanted something timeless and prestigious as well as badass.
Rock wants to know who he is going to face at Wrestlemania. Will it be CM Punk . . . or John Cena?
There is one man the Rock wants to face at Wrestlemania. The man who brings out the very best in The Rock. For professional and personal reasons, that man is . . .
John Cena’s music plays before we can find out who Rock was talking about.
CM Punk hits John Cena with the old WWE Title belt. Punk drops the title belt and he says that he wants ‘that one’ as he points to the ring.
Rock bounces in the ring but Punk does not make his way to the ring. Punk walks to the back and we go to credits.
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