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LOOKING AT A "THIS IS THE BEST YOU COULD DO FOR NEW YORK CITY" EDITION OF RAW
by Dave Scherer
Madison Square Garden is the Mecca of professional wrestling. At least, that is what WWE has said for years now. If they really felt that way however, they would have surely put forth a better effort than they did last night at Raw. With the exception of a few sparkling moments, it was a really dull, uninspired, boringly booked show. I won't go into my usual rant about how the creative team needs fresh blood and an overhaul because, frankly, there is no point in doing so. WWE is what it will remain as long as Vince McMahon and his daughter are at the helm of the creative end of the company and refuse to bring in, and listen to, people that actually understand the business, and as long as they continue to write storylines that are aimed at people with an IQ of 80 or lower. There will be some hits. There will be some misses. But more than anything, there will be inconsistency.
The best way I can sum up last night's show is this. When you consider that the three best moments of the evening came from "blast from the past" characters and a woman who got hers outside of the storylines, that says all that needs to be said about this otherwise "eh" broadcast.
Plusses: I absolutely loved the fans heeling the hell out of Lita. I am not saying that Matt Hardy did the right thing by going public with his issues with Lita and Edge (I am not saying I blame him for doing so either), but damn, it was amazing hearing those fans show WWE that the internet has a little more power over the business than they like to say it does. Also, I think it was a case of karma that Lita got hers. Now, hopefully, Edge will get his as well, and the forces of nature will be a little more in line than they were yesterday. ... Shawn Michaels and Muhammad Hassan was fine while it lasted, but the match was all about one thing, and that was the return of Hulk Hogan. The fans wanted to see it, and when they did, it blew the roof off of the place. Hogan was over as over could be, and no matter how you feel about his work, it was great to see him get the props that he deserved for what he has done for the business. I thoroughly enjoyed his appearance. ... The Vince McMahon-Christian segment was very good and a lot of fun to watch. Vince always has such great command of the crowd when he's out there, and he did again last night. ... One more thing, I sure don't want to see him wrestle, but Viscera actually showed a little personality last night. I didn't know that he had it in him.
Minuses: The biggest minus last night, as has been the case for a while now, is the booking. They continue to do the same things (much of the time the same stupid things), over and over again. Either they feel that writing storylines that are even remotely intellectually challenging is taboo or they are just incapable of doing so. Whatever the case, the fifth grade mentality that they use in "crafting" their angles, coupled with the fact that they have become ridiculously repetitive instead of trying to break new ground, has stunted the product. It's a major problem for them and yet, sadly, it's something that isn't that hard to fix. They just have to approach the creative end as if they are writing for people who don't drool when they talk and who look outside of their nuclear family to marry. It's not that difficult to do, yet they continue to languish at levels far below mediocrity. It's just very disheartening for people who love the business to see and yet be powerless to do anything about. ... Once again, Jerry Lawler said something callously insulting when he mocked Hassan's headwear to Coach. Jeez, it seems like there is nothing off limits to Lawler if it's racially and/or culturally insensitive. There's a difference between being an obviously heel announcer and a tool who comes off as a racist and bigot. ... I hope that Chris Masters' fifteen minutes are almost up. Hell, I actually hope they are up already. Jeez, that guy is BORING. ... Boy, I never thought I would see Chris Jericho in an awful segment, but that bit he did with Shelton was horrible. He did nothing for Fozzy either with that horrible "song". ... Triple H is the most heavily pushed guy on Raw, yet rather than do a promo package on the new champion, we instead get a "riveting" vignette about the freakin' Pedigree. Yeah, it's a deadly move, bla bla. We know, because you have drilled it into our heads for years now. How about, instead, you tell us about how tough the new champ is? He's the guy that hasn't been pushed down our throats, so it would be kind of nice to hear some more about him. They will probably try and justify it by saying the stronger they make H, the more it means when (if) Batista beats him, but please, anyone can see through that line of BS. It's all about keeping H as the only top star on the brand, just as it has been for a while now. And people wonder why Triple H catches so much flak for putting himself over at the expense of new talent. ... I didn't get the point of the HHH vs. JR match when they announced it last week, and by the time it ended last night, I still didn't. HHH can beat up an old, out of shape, announcer. Wonderful. It proved nothing and was boring to watch for the six hours it went before Batista finally showed up. Then we have the tired, tired, FREAKIN' TIRED ALREADY storyline of the brilliant Triple H finding a way to outsmart the stupid babyface only to have said babyface show up at the end. And yeah, it's great to book a supposed top guy as being too stupid to be able to get to the building on time. That really puts him over in a big way to the fans and will sell some tickets. I can see the sales pitch from WWE now. "Hey, come root for our champ. Sure, he's stupid, but, uh, well ..... come and root for our champ, just because we say you should!" ARGH! ... Aside from that, it was a No DQ match and what, no one at all was there to help JR? Holy that defies logic, Batman. ... Coach may be the nicest guy in the world but man, he is no JR on the mic. He's no Michael Cole either. He's just a guy that is best delivered in small doses, not for a whole show.
A Mixture Of Both: I liked the Edge and Chris Benoit match while it lasted, but I have to question the sanity of the bookers for doing a non-finish in front of the smart New York City audience, especially after the fans had already sat through a Smackdown taping. ... I liked that they debuted some new talent in the Heart Throbs. They gave them a decent push against the tag champs. But, those guys are still really green and it doesn't make sense to push them if they can't back it up in the ring.
Rhetorical and Unanswered Questions:
When Bischoff said that JR would not be at the announce booth, did anyone else have "Coach" nightmares, while they were awake?
And, did WWE pull JR from the announce booth in an effort to get New Yorkers to buy tickets and go see the show live so that they wouldn't have to listen to Coach for two hours?
Wasn't it weird to hear Bischoff, in one breath, say that he wanted to see JR fight HHH, then in the next put Batista in his corner?
Does King check "the balance in his bank account every day" because he still can't believe he gets paid what he does to do what he does?
Did you see the guy at ringside who was on the phone during the Benoit vs. Edge match?
Is there a worse way to open a live Raw in New York than to give them a non-finish in the opener?
God, who dressed Lita anyway?
I mean, didn't someone tell her how bad she looked in that get up before she went to the ring, or is her backstage heat so much that people want her to look awful?
If there is such a thing as "anti-hot", was the perfect illustration of it her in that outfit?
Does it make me a bad person that I enjoyed what the crowd did to Lita?
What does it say about Kane's foot speed that he had a problem catching Trish, who was wearing high-heeled boots?
Wasn't there something wrong with hearing Coach say "Viscera, thank God!"?
I mean, has ANYONE else ever said that?
When Viscera scooped up Trish, did it look like he was, er, going for a handful or what?
Wasn't it great of King to question Coach as to whether it was Viscera he wanted to get with for all those years?
When you hear the announcers refer to new competitors as "not being light in the loafers", am I the only one who wonders why GM not stepping up to advertise on WWE programming still comes as a surprise to Vinnie Mac?
Why is it that Batista never seems to make it to TV on time?
And, isn't it sickening to always hear Ric Flair saying how smart Triple H is?
So what, we are supposed to believe that if Batista really wasn't there, no other babyface would help JR against "the hated" HHH?
How did Hassan get cut in his back anyway?
Wow, was Hogan's kick on Daivari pretty low or what?
Couldn't you tell that Hogan hasn't been, er, working out as strictly as he has in the past when he had to cut a new notch in his weight belt?
Who was the sadist that booked that wretched Chris Masters segment to follow Hulk Hogan?
When Masters said that the grand was more money that most people make in a month, shouldn't he have added, "And not that much less than what I make in a month!"?
When Jericho said that Benjamin may have heard Fozzy's new single, who the hell was he trying to kid?
Was that Jericho/Fozzy segment supposed to make us want to buy a Fozzy album?
How, exactly, did Simon Dean get a match with the IC champ?
Did Vince properly warm up before doing his "stunt" of walking to the ring?
If Vince hates people that talk and don't say a thing, why does he book so much of it on his TV shows?
And, are you shocked I didn't take a shot at Triple H there?
How great was it that the fans heckled the return of the Raw Diva Search?
Did you notice that while we saw Vince power walk to and from the ring, we weren't shown him climbing up the steps?
Shouldn't someone have told JR that you don't tuck a football jersey in your pants?
Damn, did JR gig a gusher or what?
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