We are in Laredo, Texas and your announcers are Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler, and the debuting Mauro Ranallo.
John Cena makes his way to the ring and he has something to say.
Cena appears to be in a good mood tonight and so is the crowd in Laredo. John welcomes everyone to the first Smackdown of 2016. He mentions that the Divas Title will be defended as well as the Intercontinental Championship. John says on a Smackdown so big, the one thing we are missing is the USA Champion.
He says you are thinking that you don’t really like that guy. He feels the same way, but it is a new year and a new network. John says for once we try a fresh start. John brings out the man with no control and two tickets to paradise, but he is taking everyone tonight . . . ALBERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEL RIO.
Alberto obliges John Cena and he makes his way to the ring
Alberto tells John Cena you can save your bla bla bla USA speech for later. It is not going to work. Just like any other gringo, you are trying to weasel your way into another title opportunity you do not deserve. Alberto gives Juan credit for making it work once, but it won’t work tonight.
John says that Alberto is the USA Champion and the people are fired up to see Alberto tonight. If you guys are fired up for Alberto Del Rio, you will be fired up for a United States Championship Match right here, right now.
Alberto tells John Cena a perro and a gringo idiota, and since he knows that John does not speak Spanish, he will translate it for him. Alberto tells John to shut up. There is no way he will put the title on the line tonight. Alberto tells Laredo and John Cena, he will give him something. He will fight anyone right here in Laredo . . . right now. Just not John Cena.
John wants to clarify that Alberto is not going to defend the title and he will not be facing John Cena tonight. John points out that Alberto is the champion of the USA and this should be about the US, the land of opportunity. You should give someone an opportunity. John has an idea for an opponent. This man shocked the world in 2015 and he can shock the world right here, right now.
John brings out Kalisto.
Alberto laughs at the idea of Kalisto being his opponent while Kalisto stands inches away from Alberto.
Alberto asks John if he is out of his mind (after first accidentally suggesting Alberto might be out of his mind). John wonders if Alberto is out of his mind because he cannot speak. John points out it is KALISTO.
Alberto says that John is kidding, but John keeps saying KALISTO.
Alberto asks Kalisto if he can beat him.
Kalisto takes the mic and he says he knows he can beat Alberto and he will do it right now.
Alberto pie faces Kalisto and Kalisto kicks Alberto in the leg and he follows with a head scissors that sends Del Rio to the floor.
Match Number One: Alberto Del Rio versus Kalisto in a Non Title Match
Kalisto avoids Del Rio and he kicks him. Del Rio puts Kalisto in the corner and Del Rio with punches and kicks until the referee warns him. Kalisto with a handspring round kick and a rana driver that forces Del Rio to the floor to regroup and we go to commercial.
We are back and Del Rio with a belly-to-back suplex for a near fall. Del Rio kicks Kalisto while Kalisto is in the ropes and Del Rio with a running boot to the head. Kalisto falls to the floor. Del Rio sends Kalisto back into the ring. Del Rio with a clothesline and a boot to the back. Del Rio puts Kalisto on the turnbuckles and in the tree of woe.
Del Rio with a kick and punches. Del Rio with a running shoulder to Kalisto. Del Rio goes for a second shoulder but Kalisto pulls himself up and Del Rio hits the ring post. Kalisto goes up top and he hits a seated splash and a springboard corkscrew press. Kalisto with a kick and he goes for a rana but Del Rio blocks it and Del Rio with a sit out power bomb for a near fall.
Del Rio with punches to Kalisto. Del Rio with a clothesline into the corner and he calls for another and he connects. Del Rio with a third clothesline and then he hits a DDT but Kalisto rolls to the floor. Del Rio tells Cena he cannot see him before he focuses on Kalisto.
Cena throws off his shirt and it looks like he is ready for a fight. Del Rio sends Kalisto into the ringside barrier. Del Rio sends Kalisto back into the ring and Del Rio signals for the cross arm breaker and then he gestures to Cena. Del Rio prepares to float over but Kalisto counters with a rana for the three count.
Winner: Kalisto
Becky Lynch is in the back and JoJo asks Becky if she has heard any explanation why her best friend . . .
Becky corrects JoJo by saying Charlotte is her former best friend. JoJo apologizes and asks why did her former best friend attacked you after your match on Raw.
Becky says she does not need an explanation, she needs vindication. They both had a friend stab them in the back last year. She says she does not need reasons or explanations. Monday night was ‘friendly competition’, but tonight when she takes the Divas Title, it will be anything but friendly.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Miz is in the ring for MizTV and this week’s episode is a Royal Rumble special.
Miz welcomes everyone to this week’s episode of MizTV. Miz reminds us of Vince McMahon’s announcement on Monday night that the Royal Rumble will be for the most prestigious prize in the industry, the WWE Championship. In a city that Miz chooses to ignore . . .
Miz is interrupted by the introduction for the New Day.
Xavier tells Miz sorry, but not sorry about the interruption. They need to talk about the horrible disgusting and despicable things that Chris Jericho said on Monday night. Big E says that despite all of the gifs (pronounced jifs) that you sent to us, and Big E advises of the proper pronunciation of the word. They are not rooty tooty booty.
Xavier says that as far as the Royal Rumble goes, Chris Jericho can take his lite brite jacket . . . which Woods claims was stolen from him if you go back to the old school NXT footage. He can take that jacket and go home. They party like it is 2016, not 1999.
Kofi says 2016 will be the Year of the Unicorn.
Dolph Ziggler’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. Dolphy says that before you waste any more time, Dolph wants to talk to Miz. He tells Miz to go back to doing what he does best and if you cannot thing of anything, go back to hosting this show and leave the Royal Rumble . . .
Goldust’s music interrupts Ziggler and he makes his way to the ring.
Goldust says it seems like MizTV has gotten a little bizarre. Only one Superstar can win the Royal Rumble. He will be glad to give all of you a set of Golden Globes.
MIz says that none of you are scheduled guests . . .
And the music for another unscheduled guest, Neville, plays.
Neville tells Miz he has a promise for him. He can borrow his Slammy, his accent, or anything else if you will cancel this ridiculous show and never ever ever ever ever talks again. The Royal Rumble . . .
Miz raises his hand and tells everyone when the hand goes up, your mouths go shut.
R Truth’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. Truth wants to know what is up. Truth says you all need to step aside. Truth says if anyone is going to answer Alberto’s US Open Challenge, it is going to be him.
Miz tells Truth there is no US Open Challenge.
Truth thinks about it and he says ‘My Bad’. He wants to know what everyone was talking about.
Miz tells him they are talking about the Royal Rumble Match.
Truth wonders how can he get in that match and if there is an entry fee because of the way his account is set up.
Miz asks Truth if he gives him a dollar will he buy a clue.
Woods has some popcorn as he takes a seat in Miz’ chair. The New Day tell Miz to ‘drop the mic’ after his last comment to Truth.
Truth says that he won’t buy a clue but he will do this. Truth punches Miz with the mic and Miz, Kofi, and Big E are sent to the floor while the other four men surround Woods. Woods gives Goldust the popcorn and then Neville kicks Woods in the chest. Woods falls to the floor and we go to commercial.
Match Number Two: R Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Goldust, and Neville versus Big E, Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods, and Miz
Truth with a punch to Miz followed by a wrist lock and Goldust tags in and they hit a double hip toss. Goldust gets a near fall. Miz with a jawbreaker and he makes the tag to Kofi. Goldust with an arm drag and kick followed by a drop down uppercut. Ziggler tags in and he punches Kofi. Ziggler with an Irish whip and drop kick. Ziggler gets a near fall. Ziggler with a wrist lock and he tags in Truth.
Truth returns to the wrist. Truth with a hammer lock using the arm and he applies an arm bar on the other arm. Neville tags in and he kicks Kofi and continues to focus on the arm. Neville with a slam and then he does the Big E gyration before hitting a standing shooting star press and he gets a near fall. Neville with an arm bar.
Kofi with a punch but Neville with a series of kicks. Kofi with an Irish whip and Neville flips out of the corner and hits a back drop on Kofi. Neville climbs the turnbuckles and he punches Kofi but the referee is distracted by Big E and Xavier pulls Neville off the turnbuckles. Kofi gets a near fall and Neville is sent to the floor as we go to commercial.
We are back and Big E kicks Neville in the corner and he tags in Kofi. Kofi with kicks and while that happens, we see footage from the commercial when Big E ran Neville into the ringside barrier. The kicking continues with Woods tagging in. Big E tags back in and continues with the kicking. Kofi tags in and he kicks Neville. Big E tags in and kicks while Woods grabs Francesca. Kofi tags in and he is Irish whipped into a drop kick as Woods plays Francesca.
The New Day dances and Miz joins in, but the New Day is not impressed at first but then they let Miz play along. Kofi with a kick and he gets a near fall. Kofi with a quarter nelson and chin lock. Kofi pulls Neville to the mat by the hair and Woods tags in and hits a fist drop and gets a near fall. Woods with a Cobra Clutch on Neville. Neville with an arm drag but Woods with a kick. Woods is sent over the top rope and on his way to the floor, Woods hits the ring steps.
Miz and Ziggler tag in and Ziggler with two flying clotheslines and a Stinger Splash followed by a neck breaker and a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler misses the Fameasser and Miz gets a near fall with a rollup. Ziggler with a Famesaser for a near fall. Kofi breaks up the cover and Goldust with a power slam to Kofi. Big E runs into a leg lariat from Truth. Neville with a corkscrew plancha onto the New Day.
Miz is surrounded by Truth, Ziggler, and Goldust. Miz tries to escape and Goldust and Truth send Miz into a super kick from Ziggler for the three count.
Winners: R Truth, Neville, Goldust, and Dolph Ziggler
After the match, Ziggler with a super kick to Truth and then he throws Goldust out of the ring. He tells Goldust no offense but it is every man for themselves at the Royal Rumble.
Ric Flair and Charlotte walk in the back and Ric asks Charlotte if she is ready.
JoJo stops Ric and Charlotte about asks Charlotte about facing the person who defeated her on Monday night. Ric asks JoJo if Charlotte looks defeated. She is just like Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan, people want to leech off them. Charlotte says that Becky leeched off her. Becky has never been a champion. Charlotte says that Ric Flair is a champion and she will act like a champion.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Three: Charlotte (with Ric Flair) versus Becky Lynch for the WWE Divas Championship
They lock up and Charlotte backs Becky into the corner and Charlotte with a pie face. Becky pushes Charlotte and Charlotte with a waist lock take down. Charlotte blocks an arm drag and Charlotte with an arm drag into an arm bar. Becky kicks Charlotte away and Becky with arm drags into an arm bar. Charlotte with a rollup for a near fall.
Becky tells Charlotte she got lucky. Charlotte with a waist lock but Becky with a standing switch. Becky with a sunset flip for a near fall. Charlotte goes for the leg and she starts to focus on the knee. Becky with a rollup for a near fall. Charlotte bridges back and gets a near fall. Becky and Charlotte each go for rollups and get near falls.
Becky with a hammer lock and then she floats over and bridges to add more pressure. Becky with a top wrist lock but Charlotte sends Becky to the mat. Becky bridges out of a cover and Becky with a drop kick and arm drag into an arm bar. Charlotte with a forearm but Becky with an Irish whip. Charlotte tries to float over but Becky sends Charlotte to the apron. Becky with a springboard side kick to send Charlotte off the apron and to the floor.
Becky tells Charlotte to get back into the ring while the referee makes his count. Becky goes ot the floor and she has something to say to Flair before rolling Charlotte back in. Charlotte goes back to the floor. Becky goes to the floor but Ric moves to block Becky’s path to Charlotte. Charlotte with a boot to the upper chest.
They go back into the ring and Charlotte with punches and she slams Becky’s head into the mat. Charlotte with an Exploder to Becky and she returns to the punches. Charlotte with another Exploder and she gets a near fall. Charlotte with more punches and she gets a near fall. Charlotte with a knee to the midsection and she follows with another Exploder.
Charlotte mocks Becky’s head bob as we go to commercial.
We are back and Charlotte drives Becky’s head into the mat while she has Becky in a figure four head scissors. Charlotte flips Becky around while maintaining the head scissors. Becky gets Charlotte on her shoulders and hits snake eyes. Becky blocks a forearm and connects with forearms and European uppercuts. Becky with two clotheslines followed by a leg lariat. Becky with a running forearm into the corner and Becky with an Exploder for a near fall.
Charlotte with an Irish whip and Becky gets her feet up but Charlotte puts the legs in the ropes and Charlotte with a hangman’s neck breaker for a near fall. Charlotte with another near fall. Charlotte slaps Becky and then chops her. Becky avoids a chop and Becky goes for a back slide but Charlotte blocks it. Charlotte misses a kick and Becky with a pump handle Exploder for a near fall.
Becky tries to take Charlotte to the mat but Charlotte gets to the ropes and hits a spear. Charlotte wooos and goes for the figure four leg lock but Becky with an inside cradle for a near fall. Becky with a cross arm breaker and she turns it into a triangle choke. Charlotte lifts Becky off the mat but Lynch counters with a rollup. Becky with the DisArmHer and Flair puts Charlotte’s foot on the ropes and the referee sees it on the ropes after seeing Charlotte tap.
Charlotte with a rollup while Becky argues with Ric and Charlotte uses the ropes for leverage and she gets the three count.
Winner: Charlotte
After the match, Becky freaks out over what happened.
We take a look back at what happened on Raw with Kevin Owens and Dean Ambrose after Owens’ match against Neville.
Kevin Owens is walking in the back and Renee Young stops him and wants to get a minute of Kevin’s time.
Kevin agrees to give Renee a minute and he checks her watch to make sure she only gets a minute.
Renee asks Kevin about his chance to regain the Intercontinental Title tonight and she wants to know if Kevin is feeling the effects of being put through a table on Monday night.
Kevin says he is fine because he is a world class athlete and nothing is going to stop him from getting his title back. He has said that Dean Ambrose is a cockroach and cockroaches can survive almost anything. Kevin says that on his way to the top, he has stayed in some terrible places and he has had to kill quite a few cockroaches. Kevin says cockroaches cannot survive him and neither can Dean. Kevin says that he is taking back his title and then he lets Renee know that her minute is up.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a look at what happened at the end of Raw with the declaration about the WWE Title Match and the Royal Rumble Match.
Renee Young talked to Roman Reigns after Raw.
Renee asks Roman about the Royal Rumble match and how it is for the WWE Title. Roman says the McMahon family is trying to burn him down, but they are firing him up. The Royal Rumble is one versus all. When the dust clears, he will be left standing as the Champion.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Renee Young is with Dean Ambrose in the interview area.
Renee asks Dean about his match against Kevin Owens and how the rivalry has gotten out of hand. Dean says that Kevin would drive him to an actual asylum to get his title back. Kevin has put him through tables, slammed steel against his head, and hit him in places he did not know had places. Dean points out that he is still standing. He asks if his face looks well adjusted. Kevin says he is a prize fighter. Dean says he has a prize so let’s fight over it.
Match Number Four: Kevin Owens versus Dean Ambrose for the WWE Intercontinental Title
They lock up and Owens pushes Ambrose on the break and Ambrose pushes back. Ambrose with a side head lock and take down. Owens with a knee to the midsection followed by an Irish whip but Ambrose floats over and he goes for the double underhook DDT but Owens escapes and he goes to the floor.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Owens with a chop. They go to another corner and Owens with more chops. Dean wants more from Owens and Ambrose with kicks in the corner. Ambrose with a flying clothesline for a near fall. Ambrose with a side head lock take down. Ambrose with a wrist lock and he uses Owens arm for a chin lock. Ambrose with a kick to the back of the head. Ambrose with a punch but Owens with a punch of his own. They throw a flurry of punches. Ambrose with a snap mare and sliding D followed by a snap elbow drop and he gets a near fall.
Owens avoids a neck breaker and Ambrose tries to rebound in the ropes but Owens sends Ambrose to the floor. Owens bounces in the ropes to mock Amborse and then he goes to the floor and he kicks and chops Ambrose. Ambrose with an Irish whip into the ringside barrier. Ambrose sends Owens into the ringside barrier a second time.
Ambrose with a side Russian leg sweep into the ringside barrier. Ambrose gets back into the ring to break the count and then Ambrose with a flying clothesline off the apron. Ambrose sends Owens back into the ring and when Ambrose is making his way back into the ring, Owens hits a DDT.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Owens with a rear chin lock. We see footage from the commercial break of Owens hitting a cannonball against the ringside barrier. Ambrose gets to his feet and he punches Owens. Owens with a knee and he sends Ambrose to the mat. Owens misses a back senton when Ambrose rolls out of the way. Ambrose with punches and kicks to Owens.
Ambrose with running forearms and a back elbow. Ambrose with a running clothesline into the corner followed by a bulldog and he gets a near fall. Ambrose goes up top for the elbow but Owens gets up and Ambrose leaps over. Ambrose with a kick and he tries for the double underhook DDT but Owens escapes. Owens avoids a tornado DDT and Owens hits a German suplex. Owens sets for a cannonball but Ambrose gets up and hits a boot to the face and he follows with a tornado DDT for a near fall.
Ambrose goes up top again and Owens hits the ropes and that crotches Ambrose. Owens with a cannonball into the corner and Owens gets a near fall. Owens sets for the pop up power bomb and Ambrose counters with a rana. Owens with a super kick and Ambrose bounces off the ropes for a clothesline and Ambrose gets a near fall.
Owens with a jab and Ambrose with a punch of his own. Owens with another punch and then Ambrose fires back. They go back and forth until Ambrose hits the punch and chop combination. Owens with a clothesline and he sets for the pop up power bomb but Ambrose holds the ropes and he sends Owens to the floor. Ambrose with a suicide dive that sends Owens over the announce table.
The referee starts his count and Ambrose gets on top of the announce table. Ambrose punches Owens and Owens sends Ambrose into the ring steps. Owens charges at Ambrose and Owens tries to back drop hi into the crowd. Owens with punches and Ambrose Irish whips Owens into the crowd. Ambrose with a double sledge to Owens off the ringside barrier and the referee makes it to ten.
Double Count Out
After the match, they continue to fight into the crowd. Ambrose sends Owens into the guardrails. Owens sends Ambrose onto the stage. Owens with a kick to the midsection. Owens tries to send Ambrose into the giant “W†logo but Ambrose sends Owens into it instead. Ambrose with a clothesline off the stage onto Owens. Ambrose sends Owens into a guardrail and then Ambrose punches Owens.
Ambrose pulls the guardrail over to Owens but Owens hits Ambrose with a laptop. Owens grabs a case and hits Ambrose with it. Owens climbs on top of a set of cases but Ambrose with a back body drop onto the cases.
Ambrose with a forearm and punches but Owens with a rake of the eyes. Ambrose and Owens go off the cases and through tables on the floor.
We go to credits.
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