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We are in Little Rock, Arkansas and your announcers are Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T.
Seth Rollins makes his way to the ring because he has something to say.
Seth says on Sunday at Night of Champions, yours truly is going to make history. He will make history when he defends both his United States Championship and his WWE World Championship against John Cena and Sting . . . two future first ballot Hall of Famers, on the same night. Seth says he will defeat them both.
Seth says Night Of Champions is going to look like SummerSlam for John Cena. He is going to beat John Cena again, he is going to break John Cena again, and he will break John Cena’s spirts again.
As for Sting, that face painted freak who has bitten off more than he can chew . . . at Night of Champions, he will show everyone and Sting why he is the past and why Seth is ‘the now’. Rest assured, at Night of Champions, he is going to make history. Tonight, he is going to make some history when he teams with Mr. Money in the Bank, Sheamus to take on his former brothers in the Shield, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns.
Some of you may ask why would you team with the man who can cash in his briefcase at any time for a title match against you? Seth says not any man would be okay with that, but THE MAN is very very okay with teaming with Sheamus tonight. Seth says he lives by the adage, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
Sheamus’ music interrupts Seth and Sheamus walks to the ring with his briefcase.
Sheamus says that is an interesting concept to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Sheamus asks Seth what does he consider him. Is he Seth’s friend or his enemy? Sheamus says that you don’t want him to be your enemy. Sheamus tells Seth to keep him as far or as close as he wants. When he cashes this in, you won’t see it coming . . . friend.
Seth tells Sheamus he is going to see ‘all of this’ and ‘all of this’ (as he points at Sheamus’ hair) coming. Seth says he does not agree with the WWE Universe much but they have a point when they say that Sheamus looks stupid.
Sheamus says that he does not look stupid.
Seth asks Sheamus what ‘RTH’ means and Sheamus says it means ‘Respect the Hawk’. If you continue with the insults, they won’t make the main event. Sheamus tells Seth this is not what he wants. He wants them to be friends. Sheamus says he loves to fight and tonight they have a match against Seth’s former comrades. Sheamus says he can stand right over there and watch you for your strengths and your weaknesses. Sheamus says it won’t matter if you see him or not, he will walk away the new WWE World Champion. It will be because of the briefcase.
Sheamus tells Seth he will see him in the main event . . . friend.
Sasha Banks, Paige, and Charlotte walk in the back because we are going to have a tag team match.
We go to commercial.
Match Number One: Becky Lynch and Paige (with Charlotte) versus Naomi and Sasha Banks (with Tamina Snuka)
Becky and Naomi start things off and Naomi pie faces Becky but Becky fires back with European uppercuts and Becky with a hip toss and punches. Becky pulls Naomi from the ropes and follows with a drop kick. Sasha tags in and Becky with arm drags into an arm bar. Sasha blocks an O’Connor roll and Becky with a sunset flip for a near fall.
Becky with a La Magistral for a near fall. Becky with a wrist lock but Sasha with an Irish whip. Becky tries to float over but Sasha does not run into the corner and Sasha with a kick to the midsection.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Naomi kicks Becky in the Tree of Woe. Sasha tags in and kicks Becky more. Naomi tags in and punches Becky and connects with a series of shoulders. Naomi with a forearm and then she tags in Sasha who hits a slingshot seated splash on Becky and she gets a near fall.
Sasha with a snap mare and seated abdominal stretch. Sasha with a knee to the back. Sasha chokes Becky in the ropes and she tags in Naomi. Naomi with a leap frog seated splash to the midsection and Naomi gets a near fall. Naomi with a seated abdominal stretch on Becky.
Becky with a jawbreaker but Naomi keeps Becky from making the tag. Becky with a sunset flip but Naomi with a boot to the midsection. Sasha tags in and they kick Becky and Sasha gets a near fall. Sasha with an abdominal stretch but Becky with a hip toss to escape.
Sasha with a kick but Becky with a kick to Sasha and a forearm to Naomi. Sasha keeps Becky from making the tag. Naomi tags in and they stop her again. Becky kicks them away and Paige tags in.
Paige with a kick to Sasha and a knee to Naomi. Paige with more knees in the corner and she sends Naomi into the center of the ring for a thrust kick. Paige with a clothesline and we find out who owns this house. Sasha gets on the apron and distracts Paige. Becky pulls Sasha off the apron and Naomi gets the three count with an inside cradle.
Winners: Naomi and Sasha Banks
We go to Stardust for comments about the Kickoff Show match. He tells Neville and the Lucha Dragons your minds are trapped in a celestial detention, but forego your apprehension. There is no chance at redemption. Straight out of the fifth dimension, arise. . . the Ascension.
Konnor and Viktor show up on camera.
At Night of Champions, the purple hero and his trained dragons will bow down to this astral alliance.
Konnor welcomes everyone to the Cosmic Wasteland.
We go to commercial.
We are back and the New Day make their way to the ring and they have signs, but no trombone. Kofi has a sign that reads ‘#SaveTheTables’. Xavier’s sign reads ‘Broken Wood is No Good’. Big E has a sign with writing on both sides. On one side it reads ‘Wait 4 It . . .’ and on the other side it reads ‘#BOOTY’. Big E has something else in his hands.
Xavier says that he wants to make sure everyone knows that a table is a terrible thing to waste. We’ve seen the blatant disrespect for furniture by the Dudley Boyz. They have not only disrespected man . . . they have disrespected wo-man. They have disrespected a wo-man near and dear to the three of them. They have disrespected a wo-man near and dear to all of you. They have disrespected Mother Nature.
Big E says that is one BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD Mother . . .
Xavier tells Big E to shut his mouth.
Big E says he is just talking about Mother Nature.
Xavier says he can dig it, but they have the thing they are doing.
Kofi says that Mother Nature has spent centuries . . . millennia, growing these magnificient redwood and cypress trees. Kofi says the Douglas firs are beautiful. In seconds, the Dudleys haphazardly destroy a lifetime of work.
Xavier tells you not to disrespect MOTHER NATURE.
Kofi says you have to respect your mama.
Big E says that they are attempting to help the Dudley Boyz by allowing them to sign this petition. It is on a mini table. It is a Petition to SAVE THE TABLES. If you do this, you will have karma that will grow exponentially.
Kofi says only you can prevent table poaching. Help them help the Dudleys. They start a Save the Tables chant.
Match Number Two: Devon Dudley (with Bubba Ray Dudley) versus Kofi Kingston (with Xavier Woods and Big E)
Kofi gets the petition and he gives it to Devon and Bubba to sign. Devon looks at it and Bubba tells him Oh Hell No and Devon breaks the clipboard.
Devon punches Kofi and he continues the attack in the corner. The referee warns Devon and Devon with a biel across the ring. Devon with a Thesz Press and he punches Kofi. Big E looks under the ring and he takes the table. Bubba attacks Big E from behind.
Devon with a flapjack and then he hip tosses Woods into the ring. Devon grabs Woods by the hair and Kofi with a rollup for the three count.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
After the match, Big E, Kofi, and Xavier take the table to freedom and head to the back.
We take a look at what happened with Summer after she was given a present by Dolph Ziggler.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a look at what happened during the Divas Title Match when Nikki earned the opportunity to become the longest reigning Divas Champion in history all by herself. However, she will have to defend the title against Charlotte again on Sunday at Night of Champions.
We are in the back and Nikki is ready for her Bella-Bration with Alicia Fox and Brie Bella. Nikki says she is so excited and wants to know about the celebration.
Brie says the DJ is set. Security and red velvet rope are ready. The custom cake is ready. She asks Alicia about the champagne and Alicia says it was all flown in from France.
Nikki asks how many bottles did they get and Alicia tells her they got 298 bottles. One for every day she has been champion.
Nikki says this is going to be so crazy and epic.
Brie says with all of that champagne, they are going to get Brie Mode. Brie also says that the balloons, ‘Fearless’ banner, and photos of her sister are ready. Brie mentions that the invitations were sent to VIPs and Superstars, as well as the Divas.
Nikki makes sure that Brie did not invite anyone from PCB. Nikki wants to know that Kim and Kanye were on the top of the list. She asks Alicia if she got the sparking grape juice since Kim is majorly preggers.
Brie wants to warn Nikki about something, but Nikki tells Brie they can take care of it.
Nikki says that since she is the longest reigning Divas champion she deserves the biggest Bella-Bration.
Big Show is walking in the back and Miz stops him to show him a notebook with ‘Confidential’ on the cover. Show looks at it and he throws it aside and walks into commercial.
Match Number Three: Cesaro versus Big Show
Cesaro with a pair of drop kicks that back Show into the corner. Cesaro with punches and European uppercuts but Show with a chop across the chest. Show with more chops to Cesaro. Show with a punch to the midsection. Show goes for the Shhhh chop but Cesaro blocks it an applies a cross arm breaker in the ropes.
Cesaro goes up top and hits a springboard knee to the shoulder. Cesaro works on the shoulder and Show with a head butt and biel. Show uses his rear end on Cesaro in the corner three times. Show with a single leg take down and he drops an elbow on the leg. Show stands on the ankle and then he sits down onto the leg.
Show sits down onto the leg one more time. Show wraps the leg in the ropes and continues to work on the ankle. Show with a kick to the knee. Show stands on the knee and the referee warns Show. Show with an ankle lock and he has Cesaro elevated off the mat. Cesaro gets to the ropes and he pulls Show into the ropes.
Cesaro with a European uppercut and he continues by alternating left and right. Cesaro gets Very European before hitting a running knee into the corner. Cesaro with a cross body for a near fall. Cesaro with a running European uppercut for a near fall. Show grabs Cesaro but Cesaro with a forearm to the injured arm and he applies a standing crossface.
Cesaro with more European uppercuts. Show tries for the choke slam but Cesaro counters and he tries for the Gotch Style Neutralizer. Show with a back body drop to counter and Cesaro lands on his feet and his knee gives. Show sends Cesaro face first into the mat and then the straps come down and he gives Cesaro the knock out punch.
Winner: Big Show
Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are in the back and they are stopped by Renee Young. Renee asks them about their match at Night of Champions and want to know who the third man is.
Roman says everyone wants to know. He says he would love to tell Renee, but he is not. After everything that Bray has done. Taking out Randy Orton and his cousin Jimmy Uso, he has to keep it close to the vest. He says that Dean made a phone call and it was the right decision.
Renee asks for a hint.
Dean tells Renee that she will find out when everyone else finds out at Night of Champions. Since Bray unveiled the Black Sheep, they have been outnumbered, but on Sunday, the odds will be evened.
Roman says that there is no way that Sheamus and Seth can work together so they can fine tune everything tonight and get ready for war on Sunday in Houston.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Rusev and Summer Rae are in the Goldman Box. Rusev calls Ziggler a sissy American. Now that you have tainted Lana’s heart, you try to steal Hot Summer from him. Your skinny abs and gift bags will not impress her. What will impress Summer is him breaking Ziggler in half at Night of Champions.
Match Number Four: Kevin Owens versus Dolph Ziggler
The bell rings and Ziggler with punches and he charges Owens in the corner. Ziggler with more punches and Owens pushes Ziggler away. Owens with a clothesline and forearm to the back of the head. Owens with a kick and he tries for a slam but Ziggler lands on his feet and Ziggler with a drop kick. Owens catches Ziggler on a cross body attempt but Ziggler lands on his feet and gets a near fall with a rollup.
Ziggler misses a drop kick and Owens with a back senton onto Ziggler’s back. Owens gets a near fall. Owens kicks Ziggler in the back. Owens sends Ziggler into the turnbuckles and he kicks Ziggler in the ribs. Owens punches Ziggler and then he gives Ziggler a hard Irish whip.
Owens stomps on Ziggler’s wrist and Owens feigns concern. Owens gets a near fall. Owens asks Dolph where is Lana and he tells him to do it for Lana. Ziggler with punches to Owens and he tries for the hesitation DDT but Owens pushes Ziggler off and Owens with a DDT of his own.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Owens with a reverse chin lock. Ziggler with a jaw breaker and elbow. Owens charges into the corner but Ziggler moves and Owens hits the ring post shoulder first. Ziggler with a flying clothesline or two. Ziggler with a Stinger Splash and he goes for a neck breaker but Owens counters and goes for a belly-to-back suplex but Ziggler lands on his feet and he gets a near fall with a rollup.
Ziggler with a Fameasser for a near fall. Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag but Owens holds on to the ropes. Owens has a super kick blocked. Ziggler with a hesitation DDT for a near fall. Owens rolls to the floor. Ziggler follows and Owens hits a Fallaway Slam that sends Ziggler into the ringside barrier.
Owens returns to the ring and Ziggler gets back in before the ten count. Owens brings Ziggler to the floor and he sends Ziggler into the ring post and then over the ringside barrier into Yeatonville. Owens returns to the ring and the referee starts his count.
Ziggler struggles but he gets back into the ring at nine and a half and Owens is pissed. Owens wants Ziggler to get up and Owens with a super kick to Ziggler that sends Ziggler to the floor. Owens goes to the floor and he is about to hit a power bomb onto the apron, but . . .
Ryback’s music plays and Owens forgets about Ziggler and goes into the ring. Ryback runs to the ring and he goes after Owens. Ryback punches Owens and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: Kevin Owens (by disqualification)
After the match, Ryback with a spinebuster and then he goes for the marching musclebuster but Owens escapes and he goes up the ramp to the back.
Brie Bella and Alicia Fox are checking with security to see if anyone on the list showed up. Alicia tells Brie that no one has called them. Brie suggests that maybe there is traffic.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Nikki is ready to enter the room for her Bella-Bration but Alicia and Brie stop her.
Nikki does not listen to them and she enters the room and she opens a bottle of champagne and realizes that no one is there.
Brie says that she has been trying to tell her all night.
Nikki thinks it is a surprise party.
Brie says nobody showed up.
Nikki demands that the music is turned off. She wants to know why no one showed up.
Alicia says they will fix it and Nikki tells her to fix it now.
Nikki drinks some champagne and some guests arrive and it is Paige, Charlotte, and Becky Lynch.
Charlotte says it looks really lonely in here and she should get used to it because it will get a lot lonelier on Sunday when you cannot pull that crap you did on Monday. Whether she makes Nikki submit, she gets disqualified, or counted out, you lose the title. Look on the bright side, there will be more leftovers to drown your sorrows with.
Nikki freaks out and she wants to know why is this happening and then she turns around and wants to know what they want.
We see Adam Rose and he says that her party . . . SUCKS.
Nikki freaks out and throws the cake.
We see that the cake got all over Alicia and Brie and Nikki is okay with that.
We go to the back where Summer walks up to Dolph Ziggler. Summer asks Dolph how is he doing and Dolph says he has been through worse. She tells him that the earrings he gave her on Monday night were pretty unexpected. Dolph says enough of the soap opera. Let bygones be bygones. Summer says that was an expensive peace offering. Dolph says sometimes a rose is just a rose, but sometimes it means more.
Match Number Five: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns versus Seth Rollins and Sheamus
Ambrose and Rollins start things off and they lock up. Ambrose with a side head lock into a wrist lock. Rollins gets to the ropes and Ambrose with a clean break. Sheamus tags himself in and he says something to Seth. Sheamus goes to the floor to get a mic and he asks how many weeks does he have to say that he does not look stupid. Sheamus tells everyone that they look stupid. He tells everyone to ‘Respect the Hawk’.
Sheamus goes into the ring and Ambrose with a rollup for a near fall. Ambrose with a side head lock and running forearm. Ambrose with punches to Sheamus and he tags in Roman and Dean with a running drop kick followed by a flying clothesline to Sheamus. Rollins tries to interfere but Ambrose sends him over the top rope to the floor. Dean sets for a suicide dive onto Rollins but Rollins covers up and Dean stays in the ring.
Reigns with a clothesline to Rollins and Dean with a slingshot plancha onto Sheamus when Sheamus misses Reigns.
We go to commercial.
We are back Rollins with a cobra clutch on Ambrose. We see Sheamus and Rollins arguing during the commercial break and then Rollins sent Ambrose into the ringside barrier. Sheamus does the same.
We return to the action in the ring and Ambrose gets to his feet and he punches Rollins and arm drags Rollins. Rollins with a flatline into the turnbuckles and then he hits a cradle back breaker for a near fall. Sheamus tags in and he gets Ambrose up for a suplex throw. Sheamus gets Ambrose up for a second suplex throw. Sheamus yells at Rollins and then he punches Ambrose.
Sheamus goes for another suplex throw but Ambrose counters with an inside cradle and a near fall. Sheamus with a clothesline and he tags Rollins back in. Rollins with boots to Ambrose’s midsection and then he kicks Ambrose in the corner. Rollins with a running forearm.
Rollins sends Ambrose into the turnbuckles and Sheamus tags in. Sheamus kicks and snap mares Ambrose. Sheamus with a reverse chin lock. Ambrose with elbows but Sheamus with punches and he tries for a power bomb but Ambrose counters with a rana that sends Sheamus over the top rope to the floor.
Sheamus gets back into the ring to stop Dean from making the tag and he knocks Roman off the apron. Dean with a neck breaker and both men are down. Rollins and Reigns tag in and Reigns with a clothesline and he runs Rollins into the turnbuckles and he hits a running Samoan Drop. Reigns with Neverending Story in the corner. Reigns with an Irish whip but Rollins with a rollup for a near fall.
Reigns blocks a super kick and Reigns with a rollup for a near fall into a power bomb. Reigns prepares for the Superman punch but Rollins goes to the apron. Rollins drops Reigns on the top rope and he clips Reigns and hits a super kick but he cannot capitalize. Sheamus wants the tag but he pulls away before Seth can make the tag. Sheamus yells at Rollins but Rollins takes the briefcase.
Rollins gives Sheamus the case back and makes the tag. Ambrose with a suicide dive onto Sheamus on the floor and then Ambrose sends Sheamus back into the ring and Reigns with a Superman punch followed by a double underhook DDT from Ambrose for the three count.
Winners: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns
We see a clip on the TitanTron talking about how Apocalypse walks among you as a black sheep. Strowman says he is destruction and it is good to be afraid.
Bray asks who would be foolish enough to join you at Night of Champions. It does not matter because in the end, they all fall down.
Braun takes off his mask and he tells everyone to RUN.
We go to credits.
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