The first thing of note on the pre-game show, and I used that term loosely, was Torito coming out wearing a shirt that said "2/3". You see, Michael Jordan was 23. Torito's tail is growing back. I can't make that up. They said it, blame them. Long haired Hornswoggle came out to have his hair vs. mask match. ... God, this was horrible, from the commentary to the attempt at comedy. Attempt is the key word. ... JBL just namechecked Game Of Thrones. Wow. The crowd is chanting Ole, at least they are good sports. ... Heath Slater tried to get shears but again, "the bull" took them from him. ... That gave Horny control. He went for the Tadpole, but never made it to the first rope. The Matadores took out 3MB. I feel bad for all of these guys. ... Back in the ring, JBL made a reference to a dead bowler. I am serious. Anyway, they did big spots to wipe guys out on the floor. The fans chanted this is awesome. Maybe it's just me. Or maybe they are drunk. Who knows. ... Torito got a near fall but Horny kicked out and pulled off a mask. The bull had a second one. Horny thought he won, even though he didn't get a pin. Ugh. Anyway, Torito won and Horny is about to get shaved bald.
They then sat Horny in a chair and Torito shaved his head. Wow, if they want you to buy the show because of that, they have lost their minds. Or I have.
They set up the Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. Rybaxel match. Cody was so happy it screamed he was turning on his brother. We will see.
Then we went back up to the booth where Booker T said HOLD ON, just as the crowd was chanting for CM Punk. Ouch. He was actually telling Kofi Kingston that he would be working Bo Dallas tonight. That was awkward.
So anyway, we have two bonus matches.
Thank God, the show is opening with Cesaro vs. Sheamus. They owe me after that pre-show. which was brutal.
Paul Heyman came out to say that he was here to advocate for a Paul Heyman guy. The fans chanted for CM Punk. Heyman said that Punk is watching the Blackhawks, which made the fans cheer. Then Heyman turned it into how Brock Lesnar beat The Undertaker at WrestleMania. So at least Punk is out of the way.
FYI, I am a little behind due to a food scenario. I will catch up. Sorry about that.
They started fast and furious. And stiff. ... Good stuff early, and because of the stiff JBL mentioned "Scotty Steiner". I guess he can be mentioned in WWE, but not in that other place. ... This is a hell of a lot of fun early on. For me at least, I am not getting beaten up. ... Cesaro got a two with a mid air uppercut. Cool spot. Then he went into slap the face mode, but Sheamus came back. The fans thought it was awesome. They are right. ... Sheamus went for the Brogue but Cesaro hit a German for the two. Cesaro went for the Neutralizer but got White Noised for a two. The fans are loving it. ... Sheamus locked on the Texas Cloverlead but Cesaro used his power to get to the ropes, and the announcers sold it. ... Cesaro then got a two with a Torture Rack slam. Cool spot. Heyman told Cesaro he has this, and he went swinging. A lot of them. A LOT. He felt cocky went for the Neutralizer but Sheamus rolled him up in a small package to retain the US Title. ... It was a great match to start the show. These two aren't done, and they shouldn't be.
My feed on ROKU crapped out, but I was able to reload it right away. I am about a half hour behind. I can live with this for the price, for sure.
The Rhodes Boys came out for their match with Rybaxel. The fans are chanting "Let's Go Hawks", as we predicted yesterday. Goldie is opening up with Axel. He and Ryback worked Goldie over early. ... Goldie finally tagged his brother in and was a house afire. He worked over both guys. He went to the top and butchered a moonsault when he lost his footing. It was not pretty how he hit Ryback. Ryback caught Cody coming off the top and threw him into Dust. Cody hit Crossroads for a two (when Axel made the save). Cody went for the Disaster Kick but Ryback caught him and hit Shellshock. ... Rybaxel laughter at Cody as they left. ... After the match, Goldust came back in the ring to console his brother. Cody didn't want to hear it. Cody called for a mic and told his brother that he needs a better tag team partner than him. And Cody left the ring. Goldie didn't like what he said and looked concerned. ... Fine for what it was.
Lana brought out Rusev, who she said was from Bulgaria but now resides in Russia. He has a Bulgarian flag. Perhaps he is confused. ... Big E was out next, and he had an American flag. No confusion there. They did a flag wave off. ... They started fast and furious. But, the fans chanted "We want Ziggler". Ugh. ... Big E put Rusev down and he got to the apron. Big E hit an awesome spear through the ropes, with both men hitting the floor. Guess who isn't chanting for Ziggler anymore? ... Big E came off of the ropes and ran into a stiff kick to the face by Rusev. Rusev locked on the Accolade (Camel Clutch) and Big E tapped out. Rusev held the hold until Lana told him to break it. They sold he was in a fight. ... This was a really good and fun big man match. I enjoyed it and would like to see them do it again.
Please click to page two for more coverage of tonight's show.
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