Joel McHale is on the phone and he asks if he can beat up Mankini for a half hour.
Miz and Eve are walking and they cannot believe they are on this ridiculous show. Eve says that Hollywood is so artificial. Miz wants to know if Ice really loves Coco. Hornswoggle joins them and wonders who watches this crap. Eve warns Miz about an attack by Mankini with a chair. Miz kicks Mankini. Hornswoggle says that he thinks it was Dina Lohan.
Joel picks up the chair and he hits Mankini in the back a few times and then he walks away.
Joel welcomes everyone to the show. They pay respect and protection money to the biggest, most aggressively graceful men and women ever to wear body oil and spandex for measurable profit and international fame.
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler at the ‘announce table’. Jerry and Michael have no idea why they are here. Joel says he will check back with them later and Lawler wonders why.
Joel explains the concept of The Soup. Joel shows a clip of the Jersey Shore when The Situation fights a wall and the wall wins.
We go to a Hulk Hogan promo from Wrestlemania IV. Joel wonders what Hogan is talking about and then he comments on the lack of areolas.
We go to Jerry Lawler Picks One of His Favorite Soup Clips.
Jerry says that there is so much more than WWE. He loves General Hospital. We go to a classic shoot out from the show.
There is a line between brutal violence and brutal lovemaking and WWE straddles that line so well. We see Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Manu breathing heavily in the locker room without saying anything. Randy leaves.
Joel is joined by Daniel Bryan and Eve Torres in a close, heavy breathing environment. Daniel says that something doesn’t seem right so he pushes Eve away and Rey Mysteiro joins in the triangle of breathing. Joel says it doesn’t feel right. Joel pushes Daniel out of the way and Mankini joins in. Joel pushes Rey away so it is a one-on-one breathefest.
It is time to talk about WWE weddings and we go to the nuptials between Lita and Edge that were interrupted by Kane, who peered from the ring.
Brodus Clay says that was when they held a wedding over an old Native American wrestling ring.
Brodus does the voice for the ‘Chicks Man’ segment.
We go to LayCool confronting Mae Young at the Old School Raw when Mae called LayCool a couple of Sluts. Joel wonders if Mae kissed Copernicus with that mouth.
The next segment is ‘Salutable in their Goddess-Like Stature WWE Divas do my job while I Body Slam Mankini Through a Table’.
Eve Torres introduces a segment about Small Town Security. Eve calls this fake.
Meanwhile Joel tries to ‘slam’ Mankini through a table, but the table is Japanese. Mankini wonders why Joel would do that and Jerry asks him if he heard what the segment was called.
We go to commercial.
Miz, Eve, and Hornswoggle are in the Fashion Police studio and they are ready for some Madcap Fashion-Centric Hijinks.
It is time to talk about racks and Miz asks Eve to identify a tattoo covered ‘rack’. Eve correctly identifies it as Tensai.
Joan Rivers arrives on the set and gets Melissa to get rid of them. Melissa throws Miz out while Joan takes care of Eve. Joan wants Hornswoggle to stay and she tells Melissa to say hi to her new dad.
Jerry interrupts and he wants to see one of his favorite Soup clips. He says that he is a fan of the Bad Girls Club. He says that it is like a cage match of people he would never associate with. Michael is trying to maintain his composure while Jerry sets up the clip. We see some bad girls being bad and then they are partying.
The main event contract signing is a long held tradition that started when John Hancock signed his name so large that Samuel Adams pissed his pants.
We see the contract signing between John Cena and Brock Lesnar prior to Extreme Rules. Joel makes fun of Teddy repeating the same title for John Cena.
We see photos of John Cena and Zack Ryder. Joel introduces Eve. John explains the situation between John, Zack, and Eve as well as Kane getting involved. We see John and Eve kissing in front of Zack, who was in a wheelchair.
Joel discusses some of the classic moves in wrestling and we see a series of near falls between Cody Rhodes and Daniel Bryan. Joel comments about the positioning of Daniel and Cody during this sequence. Daniel says that must be why Robert Deniro doesn’t see his movies.
It is time for the next segment and it is ‘A WWE Superstar Will Do My Job while I Put Mankini in a Boston Crab’. Playing the part of Joel McHale is Rey Mysterio. Rey introduces a clip from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Rey says if Honey Boo Boo’s mother was a wrestler, her name would be the Human Thumbdertaker. Rey says that he is the one who has to wear the mask.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Miz and Eve are in the control room. Hornswoggle is getting rid of a Kardashian show and Eve says that Bruce Jenner has the weirdest wrestling mask.
The next segment is ‘A WWE Superstar will do my Job while I hit Mankini with a 2x4’. Playing the part of Joel is Brodus Clay. Brodus shows us a clip of Art Mann Presents. A woman gets close to one of her breasts.
Jerry wonders why Mankini keeps coming out.
It is time for the Champion of the SuperSlam Cage Match Battle Royale, Or Something Clip. Daniel Bryan says that there is nothing funnier than an elderly American hero losing his mind on live television. We go to a clip of Buzz Aldrin when he was the guest host.
Brodus says that he remembers that being longer. Eve says that it was less coherent.
We go to credits.