CATCHING UP WITH CHIKARA: LOOKING AT THEIR BIG EVENTS FROM THE LAST MONTH
By Joshua Higham on 2012-03-17 09:04:31
Since Smart Mark Video began
offering mp4 downloads of
various events, recapping
the latest Chikara events
will be easier. So here we
are with the events in
February 2012. Starting
with:
A Death Worse than Fate
February 25, 2012
Goodwill Beneficial Hall
Reading, PA
We start with a promo from
Green Ant, speaking about
becoming the first person to
make Mike Quackenbush tap
out in Chikara competition.
He mentions that Ophidian
won’t have the advantage of
attacking him from behind,
and that he is coming into
the match with tons of
confidence.
Ophidian defeated Green Ant
with a Cobra Clutch Death
Grip after dropping Green
Ant throat first on the
exposed turnbuckle. Ophidian
had been targeting Green
Ant’s throat and neck
throughout the match with
various chops. Ophidian is
still carrying the masks of
Amasis and Hieracon, along
with his own old mask, and
talking (and listening) to
them.
In her official Chikara
debut, Saturyne defeated El
Hijo del Ice Cream with a
springboard huracanrana. No
Ice Cream, Jr. accompanying
his brother.
The Throwbacks (Dasher
Hatfield and Mr. Touchdown)
defeated Fire Ant and
Soldier Ant by
disqualification. Mr.
Touchdown does in fact take
off the shoulder pads to
wrestle. There were
several Rudy chants,
directed at Mr. Touchdown,
who uses football drills as
part of his offense,
throughout the match. Mr.
Touchdown had Fire Ant in a
Fireman’s Carry position
with Hatfield climbing to
the top turnbuckle when
Green Ant came from the back
to push Dasher off the top.
Referee Jon Barber called
for the bell as Green Ant
left. Green Ant said on his
twitter (@greenantchikara)
later that weekend that it
certainly was not him who
pushed Dasher, as he was
attended to by the doctor in
the locker room.
In a rescheduled match from
last year’s 12 Large Summit,
Brodie Lee defeated Jigsaw
after a truck stop, big
boot, and Liger bomb. Lee
requested the mic and said
that in Canada, he’s coming
for the Grand Championship
no matter who is holding it.
Brodie
Lee will get his title shot
on March 25 in Ottawa.
In the back, Kobald reminds
us that Reading is where the
Batiri revealed itself and
that Kobald will defeat the
mortal champion Colt Cabana,
since he is no mere mortal.
Colt Cabana defeated Kobald
with Billy Goat’s Curse.
Kobald went for the quick
attack before the bell, but
Kobald scurried when that
proved ineffective. Kobald
retreated to the audience
after a Kiwi roll and
airplane spin, hiding behind
“fake Seth Rogen.â€
Colt Cabana back bump count:
2
The quartet of the BDK and
The Batiri (Tim Donst, Jakob
Hammermeier, Obariyon, and
Kodama) defeated 3.0, Eddie
Kingston, and Greg Iron
where Tim Donst caught Iron
with a shoelace-assisted
rear naked choke.
Hammermeier has adopted
Donst’s black gear now that
Donst is his new mentor.
Shane Matthews was given
several Red Bulls from
members of the audience and
Red Bulled up before he
hooked up with Hammermeier.
Sara Del Rey defeated
Archibald Peck with the
Royal Butterfly submission.
Del Rey hit a delayed
Northern Lights Suplex.
Veronica entered the ring to
throw Archie her baton. When
Bryce saw Archie with the
baton, Sara hit Veronica
with a Koppou kick before
hitting one on Archie, which
led to the Royal Butterfly.
Archie blocked the suplex,
but Del Rey sunk in to get
the submission.
In the back, Ultramantis
Black reminds us that he has
yet to win any Chikara
title, but he will get the
accolades tonight.
Wink Vavasseur is in the
ring for the prematch photo.
And Icarus, who has dyed his
hair and goatee darker, is
substituting for the injured
Johnny Gargano.
FIST retained the
Campeonatos de Parejas,
defeating The Spectral Envoy
two falls to one. Icarus
schoolboyed Hallowicked
after throwing powder in his
eyes to get the first fall.
Hallowicked connected with a
yakuza kick on Icarus to get
the second fall. Delirious
seemed to have the third
fall, but Delirious came
out, wearing his black and
green gear, and hit
Ultramantis Black with the
praying mantis bomb to allow
Icarus to get the third
fall.
Other notes: Bryce Remsburg
and Gavin Loudspeaker
handled commentary for the
first half of the show. Mike
Quackenbush and Leonard F.
Chikarason handled most of
the second half. Tim Donst
replaced Quack for the main
event. Jon Barber was the
referee for the first half,
and Bryce was in charge of
the second half matches. On
commentary, Chikarason noted
that it was the biggest
crowd in Reading history.
And now that it’s done
downloading we can watch:
Caught in a Spider’s Den
February 26, 2012
NYWC Sportatorium
Deer Park, NY
We are in the back with
Francis Kipland Stevens
introducing himself to the
Chikara fans as the original
hip hop nerd.
Francis Stevens, from the
NYWC roster, takes off his
glasses and replaces them
with sports goggles after
dropping the pocket
protector. Kobald, during
the match, stole the goggles
and wore them for most of
the rest of the match.
Kobald gets the win after a
Demon’s Toilet, which is a
whoopie cushion from the
top.
In the back, 3.0 again
complain about the heat from
the production lights and
promise to win today and
cash in their three points
with home ice advantage when
Chikara heads to Canada in
March.
3.0 defeated The Throwbacks
after Matthews hits a spear
on Mr. Touchdown. During the
match, Hatfield and Matthews
trade insults a la The
Sandlot, despite 3.0
claiming their respect for
Hatfield pre-match. The win
gives 3.0 their third point,
and they will challenge for
the Campeonatos de Parejas
in Vaughan, Ontario on March
24. 3.0 shakes hands with
Hatfield, but Mr. Touchdown
refuses.
Ophidian defeated Archibald
Peck with a small package.
Veronica was clutching at
her jaw since she got kicked
by Sara Del Rey the night
before in Reading. Before
the match, Veronica made
eyes with Mr. Touchdown as
he returned to the locker
room. As he was hooking in
his finishing maneuver, Peck
decided to thank everyone
for coming and plug his new
t-shirt, which allowed
Ophidian to cradle Peck for
the win. Veronica left as
quickly as possible after
the match, abandoning Peck.
Delirious is in the ring
with the microphone. He
talks about the two years
that he lost under the spell
of the Eye of Tyr, but that
he remembers everything. He
says that Ultramantis
Black’s sense of vanity and
arrogance has become his
mistake, and in due time, he
will be exposed as the false
prophet and that he will
suffer for two years, slowly
and chained to the wheel of
karma. 2014 will be
Ultramantis Black’s end.
Gran Akuma is in the back,
promising Chuck Taylor will
get his first look at the
brand new Gran Akuma.
Icarus comes out as the
self-appointed guest ring
announcer for the trial
series match between Chuck
Taylor and Gran Akuma. After
the match got started,
Icarus stayed ringside and
tried to interfere or
distract Akuma any chance he
got. In the end, Akuma
countered out of the Awful
Waffle and rolled up Taylor
with a tornado clutch for
the win. After the match,
Icarus and Taylor attacked
Akuma multiple times before
finally heading to the back.
Sara Del Rey defeated
Saturyne with a royal
butterfly. LFC and Gavin
reminded viewers that this
was only Saturyne’s fourth
professional match. Saturyne
was able to wiggle out of
the royal butterfly once,
but got caught with a second
one and got suplexed for the
pinfall.
Colt Cabana is in the back
and said he planned to
challenge Sugar Dunkerton
tonight, but since Dunkerton
is temporarily off the
roster, he’s going to the
“next best blackâ€
competitor: Ultramantis
Black. He knows Mantis is
power-hungry, but as a
“Jewish wrestler,†Cabana
will show just how
power-hungry he can be.
In the ring, Colt Cabana
redubs himself Colt Cabana
White for the match against
Ultramantis Black. Plenty of
fun Colt Cabana silliness
including the look up there
game, Bryce slapping both
participants, and all three
passing out from dizziness
from a rolling small
package. Ultramantis Black
counters the Flying [Apple]
with an O’Connor Roll for
the win. This was a first
time meeting of two men who
were on the first Chikara
event.
The next match was atomicos
action pitting Tim Donst,
Jakob Hammermeier, Obariyon,
and Kodama against Mike
Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Fire
Ant, and Soldier Ant. At the
end of the match, a Green
Ant dressed in black jumped
the guardrail and got on the
apron. The real Green Ant
came out of the locker room,
just before the fake Green
Ant clotheslined Mike
Quackenbush. Four other
masked men in black jumped
the guardrails and joined
the attack. The fake Green
Ant took off his mask to
reveal another mask.
Ultramantis Black, The
Throwbacks, and Steve “The
Turtle†Weiner ran out to
make the save when the men
tried to take off the masks
of the Colony and Jigsaw.
The match was ruled a
disqualification victory for
the tecnicos.
Eddie Kingston defeated Vin
Gerard with two backfists to
the future. Prior to the
match, Kingston and Gerard
brawled all around the
building with Gerard
continuing to work on
Kingston’s knee. Senior
Referee Bryce Remsburg was
very adamant about the rules
with Gerard, repeatedly
threatening with the
5-count. Kingston yelled at
Gerard, “get out of my
promotion,†before hitting
the second backfist. With
the loss, Vin Gerard has to
retire from wrestling.
Other notes: Colt Cabana,
Bryce Remsburg, Gavin
Loudspeaker, Ultramantis
Black, and Leonard
Chikarason did shifts on
commentary. Derek
Morningstar and Jon Barber
shared refereeing duties for
the first half before Bryce
Remsburg took over for the
final three matches.
The aftermath: After the
shows, the five men who
attacked were revealed as
the Gekido: 17, The Shard,
CombatAnt, AssailAnt, and
DeviAnt. They will be
officially debuting on the
Canadian events, which I
will preview in the coming
week.
The events are both
available via
smartmarkvideo.com in
mp4 and DVD formats.
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