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WWE RAW REPORT: TRIPLE H IS HURT; ZACK RYDER IS ATTACKED; CM PUNK WANTS ALBERTO DEL RIO; AND CENA PICKS HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER FOR SURVIVOR SERIES . . . CAN YOU SMELL IT?

By Richard Trionfo on 2011-10-24 23:05:37
We are live from Austin, Texas and your announcers are Michael ‘The Sounds of Silence’ Cole and Jerry ‘Will Jim Ross be back Sooner or later’ Lawler.

Jerry and Michael talk about what happened at Vengeance. Michael discusses what the fallout might be. Then we see a photo of what happened to the ring after Big Show was superplexed. Jerry reminds us of the return of Kevin Nash and we see him setting up Hunter for a jackknife power bomb in Nash speed.

Hunter says that this is a tough business and he was taught real early by Killer Kowalski that you can either make friends or make money. He says that he has always lived by that credo in this business. Hunter says that he thought he was the lucky one. He made money and had success as well as having his share of friends. Hunter says that he thought he had guys he could count on when the lights went out in the arena. Hunter mentions Shawn Michaels, Sean Waltman, Kevin Nash.

Somewhere along the way, things changed and money became more important. Position and power became more important. As Hunter got in the position of power, some of his friends were there for a reason. Hunter says that he thought that Nash was there for his whole life and then Hunter says that he saw everything change. He saw what was important to him. Hunter throws up the Cliq hand signal.

Then it all changed when Nash came to the ring last night and tried to break his damn neck. Hunter says that he is not worried about his neck or physical wellbeing. Hunter says that Kevin Nash broke his heart. Hunter says that he wants to take that out on Kevin Nash. Hunter mentions that he has known him for twenty years and he knows that Nash is in the building.

Hunter wants Nash to get his ass (did not specify if it was a ‘skinny fat one’) because Hunter wants to kick it.

Hunter wants Nash to ‘be a man’ but he is interrupted by John Laurinaitis Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim Raw General Manager. John tells Hunter that Nash isn’t here and Hunter tells John to shut up.

Hunter tells John that he is not in the mood for this and if he walks through the ropes, it will not end well for him.

John understands that Hunter is upset but he doesn’t want Hunter to embarrass the company. Hunter tells John to shut up. Hunter reminds John that he is the COO so that means that John reports to him. Hunter tells John that he will be the guy who tries to find Kevin Nash to bring him out to Hunter. Hunter tells John that if he doesn’t want him to embarrass the company, he will find Nash and offer him a contract. A contract that he cannot refuse. If John cannot do that, Hunter will go to his house and find him. He doesn’t care if it is a mall or airport, but he will be arrested for what he does. Hunter tells John to find Nash again and offer him the biggest contract he can so Hunter can kick his ass.

John tells Hunter that he is being unreasonable. John wants to work this out.

From out of nowhere, Nash hits Hunter with the Slowhammer. John tells Nash to leave and it almost looks sincere. Nash pushes down some security who do their best to hold their hands up to make sure that nothing else happens.

Referees and medical staff come out to check on Hunter.

Nash walks through the back as wrestlers, bag men, and David Otunga watch him leave.

Hunter is helped through the Gorilla position but when he sees other wrestlers, he wants to walk away. Hunter starts to walk but he collapses. We go to commercial.

We are back and Michael Cole is very somber talking about Triple H’s condition. Jerry talks about how Nash must feel betrayed.

Hunter is being put onto the ambulance and Nash tells them to put his buddy down. Nash stands over Hunter and he picks him up on the back board for the stretcher. Nash is about to hit Hunter with the sledgehammer and Michael Hayes calls for security. Nash hits Hunter in the head with the sledge hammer.

John comes over to apologize to Hunter for all of this. They check for a pulse and then they lift him onto a stretcher.

We go to commercial.

We are back and we see the ambulance drive away. In case you missed the first twenty minutes, here are the Cliff’s Notes in video form.

Match Number One: Randy Orton and Sheamus versus Cody Rhodes and Christian

Christian and Orton start things off as we see what is trending on Twitter now that is WWE related. Christian with punches to Orton followed by an Irish whip but you don’t Irish whip Orton into the corner because he clotheslines Christian. Orton with a back body drop followed by a boot to the midsection. Orton works on the arm and tags in Sheamus. Orton Irish whips Christian towards Sheamus for a slingshot shoulder and a near fall.

Rhodes tags in and gets a back body drop. Sheamus puts Rhodes in the ropes and connects with a series of forearms and then Sheamus punches Christian on the apron. Sheamus with a short arm clothesline and then he goes to the turnbuckles but he sees Christian moving towards him and he hits a shoulder tackle off the apron.

Rhodes with kicks to Sheamus followed by a side Russian leg sweep for a near fall. Rhodes with a reverse chin lock as we go to commercial.

We are back and Christian is choking Sheamus in the ropes and Rhodes with a forearm to the head while the referee deals with Christian. Sheamus punches Christian and Christian tries for the Killswitch but Sheamus with a belly-to-back suplex and both men are down. Orton makes the tag and he clotheslines Christian a few times and then he hits a power slam. Orton with a kick followed by a back drop driver from the shoulders.

Orton sends Christian into the ropes for the IEDDT but Christian stops him. Orton is able to hits the IEDDT and then he pounds the mat for the RKO but Cody comes up from behind and Orton almost RKOs Rhodes but Rhodes gets away. Orton runs into a pendulum kick from Christian and Christian hits a back elbow from the turnbuckles and Rhodes tags back in.

Rhodes with kicks to Orton followed by punches. Rhodes with punches and kicks to Orton and Randy with punches of his own. Cody with a drop kick and he tags Christian back in and Christian kicks Orton in the midsection and then Christian works on the neck. Orton punches Christian but Christian with a knee.

Christian goes to the turnbuckles but he is met with a drop kick from Orton and both men are down. Sheamus and Rhodes tag in and Sheamus with running double sledges followed by a tilt-a-whirl slam, running knee lift, and a uranage back breaker for a near fall.

Sheamus misses the Brogue kick and Rhodes hits Beautiful Disaster. Rhodes goes after Orton and the referee does not see Christian hit a spear. Sheamus with a near fall and all four men are in the ring. Orton with an RKO to Christian and Rhodes sends Orton over the top rope. Sheamus catches Rhodes glancingly with a Brogue Kick when Rhodes tries for the Beautiful Disaster. Sheamus hit the Celtic Cross for the three count.

Winners: Sheamus and Randy Orton

We go to photos of Miz and R Truth attacking John Cena during the main event and tribute to Bloodsport during Vengeance.

John Laurinaitis is on the phone and he is telling someone that he is okay. John wonders if he is being accused of it being his fault. John wants to know if it is because it is her husband. David tells John that Stephanie is just upset.

Cena enters the office and he tells Carlton to hit the bricks and then he makes a number of Fresh Prince references. Cena tells John a few things to do and then he wants a match against Miz and R Truth. John says that Cena will face Miz and Truth in a tag match where Laurinaitis picks his partner. Cena says that as long as that person doesn’t carry a skateboard, he will be alright.

We go to commercial and the Muppets are coming.

Match Number Two: Santino Marella versus Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger

They lock up and Santino with an arm drag and Santino celebrates. Ziggler grabs Santino and Santino teases the cobra and Ziggler goes to the ropes. Ziggler punches and kicks Santino. Ziggler with a drop kick. Santino with a split followed by a hip toss and diving head butt.

Santino unfurls the cobra and he goes for Swagger and that allows Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag for the three count.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

After the match, Swagger attacks Santino and puts him in the ankle lock. Mason Ryan makes his way to the ring and he clotheslines Ziggler and hits a big boot.

The Bellas are in the back and Zack Ryder walks by happy that he is going to be John Cena’s tag team partner.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time for Ricardo Rodriguez, sporting the wounds of being the ring announcer for the WWE Champion as he introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Del Rio says that everyone thought that John Cena would be the winner of the Last Man Standing Match, but Alberto proved them wrong. Cena was lying on the floor like a dying dog. Alberto says that he proved once and for all that he is the better man. Alberto says that he is done with John Cena so he is going to move on to new challengers.

The problem is that there is no one better than Alberto Del Rio in the WWE. He says that you better get used to seeing him as the WWE Champion for a long long long long time.

CM Punk interrupts Del Rio and he makes his way to the ring.

He apologizes for interrupting Alberto but he heard Alberto say that nobody could beat him. Punk calls Alberto a tough hombre because Punk points out that he has beaten Del Rio numerous times. Punk says that he beat him four weeks ago and it was in Gray’s Sports Almanac. Punk reminds Del Rio that he never got his one-on-one title shot after Del Rio cashed in his money in the bank contract.

Punk asks Alberto if he has the cajones to put the title on the line against him.

Del Rio says that he will defend his title against any worthy opponent but Punk is not worthy. Alberto reminds Punk that he did not even win at Vengeance, so that makes Punk a loser. Alberto says that losers do not deserve title shots. Alberto tells Punk to see him when he does something right. He tells him to come and see him when he wins a match.

Del Rio tells Punk that he is at the back of the line.

Punk thinks about it and he says that he had a feeling that Alberto would say that. He wants to subscribe to Del Rio’s newsletter. Punk says that maybe he doesn’t deserve a title shot and maybe he is at the back of the line. Punk says that maybe he is a loser. Punk says that maybe if Del Rio isn’t going to give him a title shot, he will put him to sleep anyway.

Johnny Buzzkill comes out and he says that he is in charge of this.

Punk gives John some advice on holding the mic so he could be heard.

John says that each man has made some good points. Maybe they will wrestle for the WWE Championship at Survivor Series.

Punk says that was what he wanted, but he wants to know what the catch is.

John tells Punk that there is one thing that he has to do to get the title match. Punk asks if he needs to regrip his skateboard.

John says that he is not playing the part of Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, he is really in that position. John tells Punk that he has to say that he respects John.

Punk wonders if John is Aretha Franklin. Punk says that John doesn’t respect him because he doesn’t wear a suit or toe the company line. Punk asks John if he has been watching the product because it is no better with John in charge.

John tells Punk that he is making a mistake. He wants Punk to say that he respects him.

Punk tells John that he respects him ‘Funkman’.

John did not like that so Punk better do it again.

Punk tells John that he respects him. He respects the fact that each week, he comes out in front of the millions of fans in the WWE Universe live on the USA Network with a deer in the headlights look on his face. He respects that John doesn’t know where to hold the microphone. He respects that John used to compete in the ring with his awesome mullet and despite not being very good, he is at the top of the WWE corporate structure showing new levels of brown nosery. He respects the fact that John has achieved so much with so little.

John says that doesn’t suit him and Punk is not suitable for a WWE title shot. John will take another week to think about it.

Punk tells John to think about something else and Punk kicks and punches Del Rio and gets Del Rio up for the Go To Sleep but Ricardo makes the save. Del Rio gets out of the ring and Punk gives Ricardo a Go To Sleep.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Beth Phoenix makes her way to the announce table to join Cole and Lawler.

Match Number Three: Natalya versus Alicia Fox

Natalya removes Alicia’s head band and Alicia tries for a float over but Natalya does not bite and Natalya clips Alicia before throwing her to the mat by the hair. Beth wit ha kick to the leg and then she slams Alicia’s head into the mat. Natalya with a clothesline and then she works on the leg with a step over toe hold.

Natalya slaps Alicia but Alicia slaps back. Alicia with a forearm and she reverses the hold. Natalya gets to the ropes and she kicks Alicia in the ribs. Natalya says that it is tear time but she runs into a boot. Alicia with a sunset flip for the three count.

Winner: Alicia Fox

We see Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly watching in the back.

After the match, Natalya attacks Alicia but Alicia is able to escape.

Match Number Four: John Morrison versus Wade Barrett

They lock up and Barrett with an elbow to Morrison. They lock up and Morrison with a flying forearm and kicks. Barrett misses a running boot and Morrison kips up but Barrett with a punch. Morrison with a drop kick. Barrett goes to the floor and Morrison goes to the apron and back into the ring before hitting a suicide dive onto Barrett.

Barrett with a back heel kick to Morrison and then he sends him into the ringside barrier.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Barrett with a rear chin lock as Morrison tries to get back to his feet. Barrett with a big boot to the head and he gets a near fall. Barrett chokes Morrison in the ropes and then chokes Morrison in the ropes. Barrett keeps Morrison in the ropes and he connects with knees and then he kicks Morrison to the floor with another big boot.

Barrett runs Morrison’s back into the apron and then they return to the ring and Barrett gets a near fall. Barrett with a knee to the back and then he applies a surfboard. Morrison with punches but Barrett with a kick and Irish whip. Barrett blocks a kick but Morrison with a back elbow and a sliding clothesline followed by a leg lariat.

Morrison hits the Shining Wizard and Barrett gets his foot on the ropes to stop the count. Morrison with a sunset flip and he gets a near fall. Barrett with the Black Pool Slam for a near fall. Barrett gets Morrison on his shoulders for Wasteland but Morrison with elbows and a side Russian leg sweep. Morrison goes to the corner for the split legged corkscrew moonsault and Barrett had moved out of the way and he lands on his feet. Morrison with a shoulder to Barrett. Morrison comes off the ropes and Barrett catches him and drops him to the mat. Barrett hits Wasteland for the three count.

Winner: Wade Barrett

It is time to see what happened at the start of the night one more time.

We are told that Triple H has suffered a concussion and a neck injury, maybe a broken neck.

After this somber moment, it is time for Michael Cole to embarrass himself and Jim Ross. Cole mentions that Jim Ross has been on Twitter and in the WWE.com chat room spreading lies about how he beat Michael Cole last week. Cole mentions that Jim Ross has tweeted some photos and they are Cole-tacular.

Cole challenges Jim Ross to a ‘Michael Cole Challenge’ for next week. Cole says that if Jim Ross beats him next week, Ross can have his seat back because if Jim Ross wins, Cole will quit.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Zack Ryder is in the interview area with Josh Mathews. Zack mentions that this is his first Raw main event and he is a broski with Cena.

Miz and Truth attack Ryder and then Truth punches Ryder while Miz holds him. They switch places and then they send Ryder into the scenery and Miz with a running boot.

Looks like Cena needs a new partner.

Miz says that Hunter fired them to stop the revolution that they started. Miz say to look at Triple H now.

Truth says that Triple H got exactly what he deserved.

Miz says that they stood up to the faces of this conspiracy. When they rise up, no one will be safe from the Truth. Zack Ryder and Triple H have found out.

Truth says that everyone thought that they were done when they won their match on Sunday and attacked John Cena. The party is just getting started. Truth says that Cena thought the conspiracy was going to help him with that joke of a tag team partner. Truth says that nothing is going to save him until he gets got.

Miz tells Cena that he can wear all of the dippy catchphrases but he cannot rise above them.

Match Number Five: Miz and R Truth versus John Cena and nobody else because this is a Handicap Match

Miz starts off but he has something to say to Truth before trying to lock up. Cena wih a kick and punches to Miz as he sends him into the corner. Cena with a suplex and Truth tags in. Cena with punches and knees to Truth followed by a snap mare and elbow drop. Miz is tagged back in.

Miz tries for a kick and Cena blocks it and Cena with a punch and hip toss. Truth teases getting involved and Miz with a DDT for a near fall based on the distraction. Miz with kicks and he tags in Truth who kicks Cena and applies a snap mare and chin lock. Miz tags in and he punches Cena. Miz with a kick and he gets a near fall.

Miz sets for the Awesome Clothesline and he hits it and Cena goes to the mat. Miz goes up top with a double sledge and he chokes Cena. Truth tags back in and Truth with an uppercut and he gets a near fall. Truth kicks Cena in the corner and the referee checks on Cena. Cena kicks Truth and then he hits a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Miz tags in and Miz misses the Awesome Clothesline when Cena moves. Cena with two flying shoulder tackles followed by a Blue Thunder Bomb and (sing along if you know the lyrics) it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena gets Miz up but Truth hits Cena with a water bottle and the referee calls for the bell.

Winner: John Cena by disqualification

Miz and Truth punch Cena and then Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale. Truth hits Shut Up. Miz takes a chair and he gives it to Truth. Miz gets a chair of his own.

John Laurinaitis comes out and he tells them to stop because he will not stand for this chaos. John says that Miz and Truth have disrespected him. John tells Miz and Truth to get out. Miz and Truth start up the ramp but John stops them. John says that they are going to be put in a legitimate tag match. John will get to pick his partner for a match at Survivor Series to face Miz and R Truth.

John says that he says that it is another set up. John has an environmentally safe light bulb go off over his head and he realizes that he can choose anyone he wants. Cena says that he is sick of Miz and Truth thinking that they run the show. If they are going to defeat the Miz and R Truth, his partner will have to be someone who brings it. John Cena says that his tag team partner will be The Rock.

We go to credits.

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