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WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT: PARTY CRASHERS AT A FUNERAL; THE DASHING ONES ARE DONE?; DIVAS IN COSTUMES; BRYAN/ZIGGLER III

By Richard Trionfo on 2010-10-29 21:58:11
On Sunday night, the Undertaker was buried alive. Will we ever see the Dead Man again? A door opens . . .

We are live on tape from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and your announcers are Matt ‘Shotz Brewery’ Striker, Todd ‘Schlemiel’ Grisham, and Michael ‘The Bud Selig of announcers’ Cole.

Kane and Paul Bearer are at the gravesite for the Undertaker and Kane says that the saga is over. He has proven his dominance over the Undertaker for the final time. He says that his brother is never coming back. It is because he buried Taker. Kane starts to walk to the ring and he says that there is going to be talk in the coming days and months about plots and conspiracy theories. The Undertaker is gone because of one person and one person only. That person is him.

Now that his brother is truly one with the dark side. Now that he is condemned to an eternity of agony, he wants everyone to thank him. He wants everyone to thank him for removing the false hope that he provided to each and everyone’s meaningless lives. He says that he knows that everyone is clinging to a futile shred of hope that the Undertaker will return. He says that will never happen. The Dead Man is six feet underground. While he is rotting and decomposing, like his legacy, Kane says that he is the champion.

Kane says that he is the pulse of everyone. He is the heartbeat of every insect in the audience desperate for a patriarch. He says that he is the devil’s favorite demon. Kane says that the time for mourning is now so he demands that everyone stand up and bow your heads to observe a moment of silence for the man you will never see again. His fallen and so to be forever forgotten brother, the Undertaker.

The moment of silence is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio, who drives into the arena. Kane cannot believe what Alberto did and he talks to Paul about it.

Alberto says that this is a tragedy and he is not talking about the Undertaker. The only tragedy is that he never had a chance at the World Title. He tells Kane that he is handsome, rich, and powerful. He says that the only funeral we are going to have is for the World Title.

Kane wants to know if Alberto is out of his mind for interrupting this ceremony. He says that the last thin that Alberto should be worried about is the title.

Alberto knocks the urn out of Paul Bearer’s hands and then Kane tries to punch Del Rio but Alberto ducks him and then Alberto hits a step up enzuigiri that sends Kane into the already dead flowers.

Rey Mysterio comes out and he trips Del Rio, sending Alberto into the ropes. Before Rey can hit the 619, Alberto goes to the floor. Paul Bearer is in the ropes doing something and Rey sees this as an opportunity to give Paul a 619. Kane kicks Rey off the apron to the floor.

Edge comes to the ring and he gives Kane a spear.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Alberto Del Rio is in the back with Teddy Long and Teddy wants Alberto to speak in English. Alberto demands a World Title match tonight. Teddy refuses to give him the match. Alberto then demands to be named the number one contender because there is no one better than him. Teddy says that there are two men who would disagree with Alberto.

Teddy tells Alberto that tonight there is going to be a match to determine the number one contender for the World Title at Survivor Series. Alberto will be in the match, but he will be facing Edge and Rey Mysterio. Teddy tells Alberto to prove that he is the top commodity on Smackdown. Alberto says that he will prove it.

While Vickie Guerrero walks to the ring with Dolph Ziggler, Michael Cole tells Striker not to talk about Vickie. We see highlights from Monday’s match and Striker points out that since Dolph’s foot was placed under the ropes, the tap out should not have counted.

Match Number One: Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero versus Daniel Bryan

Dolph goes after Bryan and hits a fireman’s carry into a near fall. Bryan tries for the LeBell Lock but Ziggler stays on his feet and he kicks Bryan and gets a near fall. Ziggler with a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler with a kick to the back and he chokes Bryan in the ropes and then kicks him in the head. Dolph with an elbow to the top of the head and neck. Ziggler stands on the back of Bryan’s neck. Bryan punches Ziggler but Ziggler with a drop kick for a near fall. Ziggler with a reverse chin lock and then he sends Bryan to the mat. Ziggler with a snap mare and leap frog snap mare for a near fall.

Ziggler continues to work on the neck with another reverse chin lock. Bryan gets to his feet and they exchange punches. Bryan with forearms to Ziggler that stagger the Intercontinental Champion. Bryan with kicks and then he flips over Ziggler out of the corner and then he hits a flying clothesline. Ziggler sends Bryan to the apron and Bryan with a forearm before he goes up top and connects with a knee to the chest. Ziggler goes to the floor and we go to commercial.

We are back and Ziggler with a kick to Bryan but Bryan responds with a round kick to the upper chest. Bryan misses a springboard move and Ziggler hits a Fameasser for a near fall. Ziggler with an elbow to the neck and he tries for a neck breaker but Bryan with a backslide for a near fall. Ziggler tries for a sleeper but Bryan escapes and then he hits a running drop kick that sends Ziggler into the turnbuckles. They both get back to their feet and Bryan tries for a suplex but Ziggler blocks it. Ziggler tries for a suplex and Bryan blocks it. After a number of counters and blocks, Bryan suplexes Ziggler over the top rope and both men go to the floor.

Both men struggle to get back into the ring and Ziggler gets in first followed by Bryan at nine. Ziggler with a forearm to the head and Bryan with a head butt. Ziggler with another forearm and Bryan returns with a forearm of his own. They continues to exchange punches and forearms followed by a kick to the head by Bryan that backs Ziggler into the corner. Ziggler with a boot to Bryan’s head. Bryan tries to put Bryan in the LeBell Lock but Ziggler avoids it and he catapults Bryan into the turnbuckles and Ziggler applies the sleeper but Bryan backs Ziggler into the turnbuckles and the referee gets in the way. Ziggler with the Zig Zag and the referee is out and Vickie makes the count. Vickie argues that Dolph won but the referee does not count it. Bryan with a round kick and he gets the three count.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

After the match, Vickie yells at the referee and then Dolph joins in the discussion with the referee over what they thought was a Dolph Ziggler victory.

We go to commercial.

Josh Mathews is walking in the back and Paul Bearer wants to know why he is here. Then he says that Josh is here to ask him about what they did to him earlier tonight to his face and his son’s ceremony. He says that Alberto, Rey, and Edge will pay.

Kane breathes heavily and says nothing.

This week, Todd Grisham gets to read the standard Michael Cole comments about the attacks on WWE as we go to a Stand Up for WWE video.

Kelly Kelly is admiring her costume in the mirror and Cody Rhodes pushes her out of the way. He says that he needs to look in the mirror more than her. Kelly agrees. Cody says that part of being Dashing Cody Rhodes is to make sure that his eyes are as blue as an Amarillo sky, his teeth are white enough to blind, his skin is as smooth as it can get. He tells Kelly to stay around to see how Dashing can be achieved.

Big Show enters and he says that Cody should face him tonight in a one-on-one match to see how Dashing he can look dangling from a choke slam. Cody says that won’t work out. He says that he is not scared, but he is part of a tag team and they are the once and future Tag Team Champions. He says that him and Drew would love to face Big Show if he had a partner tonight. Show says that he can get a partner because people like him.

Cody says that people like him and . . . he agrees to the match.

Show talks in a Scottish accent and he tells Cody to get his partner Drew so they can put their kilts on so Big Show can choke slam them. He also tells Cody to go tell Drew what he has gotten him into. He also threatens to straighten one of Cody’s eyebrows so Cody leaves.

Show asks Kelly what her costume is and guesses a blueberry muffin. Kelly says that Show will have to wait, but Show counters with the ‘you don’t keep secrets from BFFs’ card. Kelly whispers into Show’s ear and Show likes it. We go to commercial.

Match Number Two: Jack Swagger with Swagger Soaring Eagle versus Kaval

They lock up and Swagger backs Kaval into the corner. Kaval gets on the turnbuckles and he chops Swagger and kicks him in the chest. Kaval tries for a handspring round kick but Swagger catches Kaval and hits a standing power slam for a near fall. Swagger with shoulders in the corner followed by a hard Irish whop. Swagger with the double jump Swagger Bomb and gets a near fall.

Swagger with a bear hug on Kaval, but Kaval with a head butt to get out of the hold. Swagger tries for a slam but Kaval with elbows followed by a rana. Swagger misses a charge into the corner and then Kaval with a running kick into the corner. Kaval with a knee to the back from the turnbuckles and he gets a near fall. Kaval with a kick to the chest followed by a Liger kick. Swagger with a German suplex but Kaval lands on his feet and while Swagger is on the mat, Kaval connects with a double stomp and gets a near fall. Kaval goes to the turnbuckles but Swagger gets to his feet. Swagger charges at Kaval but Kaval leaps and Swagger goes to the floor. Swagger sends Kaval’s ankle into the ring post and then Swagger with a clothesline to the back of the head. Swagger stomps on the ankle and then he applies the ankle lock. Kaval fights to get to the ropes but the pain is too much and Kaval taps out.

Winner: Jack Swagger

We are back with a look back at the funeral for the Undertaker that saw appearances from Alberto Del Rio, Rey Mysterio, and Edge; but none of them were out to pay their last respects to Undertaker.

Teddy Long is in the ring with Hornswoggle and he is wearing the same costume he wore on NXT. Teddy says that it is the time for tricks and treats, as well as the Diva Halloween Costume Contest.

The Bellas are dressed as Batman and Robin. Alicia Fox is dressed as Cleopatra. Kelly Kelly is dressed as Little Bo Peep. Rosa Mendes is dressed as a Leprechaun. Melina is dressed as Spider Woman. Layla is dressed as Beyonce. Michelle McCool is dressed as Lady Gaga.

Todd comments that Layla looks a little like Snooki and then they ask Todd what he is going to dress up as for Halloween.

Teddy says that the WWE Universe will determine the winner. Michelle interrupts and says that she can save a lot of time by declaring Michelle and Layla as the winners. Michelle wonders why Melina is dressed up since she is already scary enough. Hornswoggle comes to Melina’s defense with his six shooters ready.

Teddy tells everyone instead of a costume contest, he is going to have an eight Diva Tag Match.

Match Number Three: Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Kelly Kelly, and Melina versus Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Michelle McCool, and Layla

Brie and Layla start things off. Layla dances but Brie with a flying clothesline and Layla backs into the corner. Nikki tags in and they give Michelle a double clothesline. Alicia tags in and she connects with a knee but Nikki with a flying mare. Melina tags in and they hit a double back elbow. Melina with a kick to the head and then she works on Alicia’s arm. Alicia reverses but Melina with a split and she counters with an arm drag into an arm bar and she gets a near fall.

We got to commercial.

We are back and Brie with a drop toe hold to Rosa into a front face lock. Kelly tags in and Kelly hits a Thesz Press and then sends Rosa to the mat. Kelly with a knee and a near fall. Kelly with a neck breaker and it is costume pandemonium. Kelly with a kick to Rosa followed by a K2 for the three count.

Winners: Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Kelly Kelly, and Melina

Rey Mysterio is in the back and Edge stops by. Edge points out that they won for Team Smackdown at Bragging Rights. He says that tonight is not about unity or team spirit. Edge says that he will become the number one contender.

Rey says that they might not be the best of friends, but he won’t discriminate against either man to get the chance to face Kane at Survivor Series so he can get his title back.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Drew says that it is time to open your ears because the future has something important to say. They have a message for the new WWE Tag Team Champions. They saw how they captured the titles by laying down for each other. He says that Nexus is pathetic and they are going to take the titles back.

Cody says that he has a dashing tip for the Nexus. He says that they should watch what they do to Big Show and his tag team partner because the Chosen One and the Dashing One will be known as the Dashing Ones.

While Kofi Kingston comes to the ring, Cole, Striker, and Grisham mention that Kofi will be on Ghost Hunters’ live special on Halloween night on SyFy.

Match Number Four: Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre versus Big Show and Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Drew start things off and they lock up. Kofi with a waist lock but Drew works on the arm. Kofi with a reversal but Drew with a side head lock. Kofi with forearms but Drew with a shoulder tackle. Drew blocks a hip toss but Kofi counters a hip toss with a monkey flip and gets a near fall. Show tags in and he punches Drew in the midsection. Show with a head butt and shhh chop as Drew falls to his knees. Show suggests that Cody come into the match. Show with another shhh chop. Show taunts Drew with his Scottish accent. Show with a slam and then he tags in Kofi. Kofi with a slingshot elbow drop for a near fall. Drew with a kick and forearm to the back before he tags in Cody.

Kofi with a forearm and Cody responds with a kick and drop down uppercut. Cody with forearms in the corner but Kofi with a head butt and a rollup for a near fall. Cody with an Irish whip and Drew is tagged back in. Drew pulls Cody to the mat and then he slams his leg into the ring post and drops his leg on the announce table. Drew gets a near fall when they return to the ring. Cody tags in and they make a wish with Kofi’s legs. Cody with an elbow drop to the leg and then he hyperextends the knee with a single leg DDT. Cody with a gourdbuster followed by a Ric Flair knee drop and he gets a near fall.

Drew tags in and he kicks Kofi. Drew with a kick to the knee as he returns to the leg with elbow drops. Kofi with kicks to get away from Drew. Cody tags in and he keeps Kofi from making the tag. Cody with kicks to Kofi followed by a single leg crab. Kofi tries to get to his corner but Cody adjusts it to a knee bar and he tags in Drew. Drew points at Show and he mocks Show with a chop to the chest. Kofi with a standing single leg drop kick and Drew goes to the floor. Cody rolls Drew in and Cody makes the tag but Show is able to tag in and he hits a few clotheslines followed by a big back body drop. Show runs into a boot from Cody but Show with a spinebuster to Cody. Show grabs Drew by the throat but Cody stops him. Show knocks Drew down and then Show with a choke slam to Cody for the three count.

Winners: Big Show and Kofi Kingston

After the match, Drew walks away from the ring in disgust while Show and Kofi celebrate their victory. Striker wonders if Drew and Cody are still on the same page after what happened at the end of the match.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Cody Rhodes tries to catch up to Drew McIntyre in the back. Cody wants to know what happened. Cody says that he had Drew’s back but wonders if Drew had his. Drew says that he had Cody’s back but there was a giant out there in his way. Cody says that Drew is in his way. The only way that he wins any singles gold is without him. Drew says that is the smartest thing he heard from Cody and he reminds Cody that he is the Chosen One. Cody says that Drew better choose to walk away before he does something that Drew will regret.

We have an In Your Corner video package for the Wrestlemania Reading Challenge.

Match Number Five: Alberto Del Rio versus Rey Mysterio versus Edge in a Number One Contender Match

The bell rings and Rey goes after Del Rio while Edge watches. Del Rio with an Irish whip but Rey with boots. Alberto with a clothesline to Rey but Edge with a running heel kick to Del Rio. Edge with kicks to Del Rio and Edge throws Rey under the bottom rope. Edge goes to the floor while Rey returns to the ring and Rey with a baseball slide to Edge. Rey with a kick to Del Rio’s leg but Del Rio with a knee and punches. Del Rio with an Irish whip and Rey floats over as Del Rio charges into the corner, but Del Rio recovers and he sends Rey into the ring post. Edge with a rollup on Del Rio for a near fall.

Del Rio with a kick and elbow to Edge. Edge with a running forearm and then he clotheslines Del Rio over the top rope and Edge goes to the floor as well. Rey goes up top and hits a cross body onto both men as we go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio is kicking Rey in the corner and then he chokes him with his boot. Rey rolls to the apron and he is against the ring post and Albert with a version of a bow and arrow using the ring post. We see footage from the commercial break when Del Rio Irish whipped Rey into the ringside barrier. Del Rio gets a near fall on Mysterio as we wonder where Edge went. Alberto with an Irish whip but Rey with a drop toe hold that sends Alberto into the turnbuckles. Rey kicks Del Rio and then he hits a baseball slide into Del Rio in the corner.

Edge gets on the apron and Alberto Irish whips Rey into Edge. Del Rio with a waist lock on Rey as they fight by the ropes. Edge with a sunset flip on Alberto and Del Rio with a German suplex on Rey as Edge gets a near fall on Del Rio. Edge kicks Rey to the floor and he turns his focus to Del Rio. Edge with kicks to Del Rio followed by a forearm. Edge tries to suplex Del Rio back into the ring but Del Rio blocks it and drops Edge on the top rope. Edge goes to the floor as Rey slides between Alberto’s legs and he drops Alberto on the apron. Rey with a rana to Edge that sends him into the ring steps and all three men are down.

Rey rolls Edge into the ring and he goes up top for a frog splash but Edge kicks out at two. Rey with a drop kick that knocks Alberto off the apron. Edge with a kick but Rey escapes a power bomb attempt. Rey sends Edge into the ropes and Rey sets for the 619 but Alberto trips Rey and pulls him out of the ring. Alberto stands over Rey and that allows Edge to recover in the ring and Edge with a flapjack for a near fall.

Alberto with a kick and slam attempt but Del Rio is able to hit a German suplex and gets a near fall. Edge with a big boot to Del Rio and then he punches Rey on the apron. Edge goes up top but Rey crotches Edge. Rey goes up top as well for a super Hurricanrana, but Edge pushes Rey off and Rey lands on his feet. Alberto puts Rey in the cross arm breaker but Edge with an elbow drop to break up the hold and Edge gets a near fall on Alberto.

The crowd chants for a spear but Rey with a kick and then everyone goes down from clotheslines. Edge and Rey pepper Del Rio with punches and kicks while Del Rio tries to fight back. Del Rio pushes Rey into the corner and then he connects with an elbow to Edge. Edge sends Del Rio into Rey in the corner but Rey with boots to Del Rio. Rey charges at Del Rio but Alberto tosses Rey over his head and Rey with a seated senton on Edge.

Del Rio with a kick to Rey and then he tries for a power bomb but Rey counters with a rana and Alberto is sent to the ropes. Rey hits a 619 but Edge spears Rey off the apron. Edge covers Alberto but can only get a two count. Alberto wit a knee to Edge and then he gets Edge on his shoulders but Edge escapes and hits the Impaler DDT. Edge pulls his hair to signal the spear, but Ricardo Rodriguez grabs Edge by the leg. That distraction allows Del Rio to hit the step up enzuigiri and Edge goes down. Rey goes up top for a leg drop on Del Rio to break up the cover. Rey gets a near fall on Alberto. Del Rio punches Rey and then connects with a head butt. Rey with a drop toe hold and Alberto falls into the ropes. Rey with a drop kick to Edge’s back and Edge falls into the ropes. Del Rio recovers and he tries for a spinebuster on Rey but Rey gets to Del Rio’s shoulders. Edge with a spear on Del Rio and then he pins Del Rio to win the match.

Winner: Edge

After the match, Kane comes out and he signals the hellfire from the ring posts as we go to credits.

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