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Being a huge Ozzy Osbourne fan, I was dreading his appearance on Raw this week. See, I was an Ozzy fan back when Ozzy was about amazing records and incredible live shows. The Ozzy of today? Well, that joke got old for me after the first season of The Osbournes finished. Thankfully, I don't really watch a lot of television, so I've managed to avoid a lot of the buffoon antics of the Osbourne clan and instead concentrate on the great music he made with Black Sabbath and as a solo artist. As it turned out, other than one painfully long segment in the middle of the show, things weren't that bad, although I still prefer to remember an Ozzy that was a lot less "Muppet-like" than today. Between the Osbourne segments and the DX-Cena material, it seems "goofiness" was the order of the day on the show. A lot of goofiness.
On the bright side, WWE continued to build up Kofi Kingston, and by inserting MVP & Mark Henry in the mix, has given us a new program for all three members of Legacy. They also redeemed Sheamus after a rather lackluster Raw debut last week, set up a new contender for Melina's Divas Title, and ... believe it or not, actually let some heels get over on John Cena AND DX. At the same time! I know, shocking. A decent show once you eliminate the goofy crap, and hopefully WWE will follow up on it next week by officially adding some matches to the Survivor Series card.
Here's my thoughts on the show, as it happened:
I thought it was nice that they acknowledged Ozzy's past WWF/E appearances, and just as I thought "I wonder if Ozzy remembers any of that", they beat me to the joke. Kudos to them. The exchange with The Miz and Sharon was just annoying. "Really" annoying. Legacy then comes out to complain about the Randy Orton car getting trashed last week, and three guys who should be positioned as tough heels are instead looking like pandering children. Big Show comes out, setting up Ozzy delivering the "Sharon" catchphrase, which is followed by DX coming out for book plugs and to pull Ozzy's strings in setting up matches. Oh, Cody Rhodes, the guy who DX sent out on a stretcher last month? He just watches them. So, we get our matches. The Miz vs. Evan "Brawn" for the U.S. Title, Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton, and John Cena vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho. At least that was accomplished in this segment, which probably should have been a lot shorter.
Evan Bourne vs. The Miz was a good, short match. Bourne looked really crisp here, and I liked his knee strike as a counter to the suplex attempt. The story of the match was that Bourne got in a ton of offense, so he would look strong in defeat, as he missed the shooting star, setting up for Miz to hiptoss him into the corner and then hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the win. A series of matches with them would be fun (and keep them from getting squashed by others).
Sheamus, following his rather dull squash win over Jamie Noble last week, vows to end his career this week. Sheamus then proceeds to beat the crap out of Noble in very violent fashion. I like it. The powerbomb on the floor, and Noble's selling of it, was fantastic. Sheamus came off looking like a killer here. I wonder if this is Noble's in-ring farewell as he moves full-time into being an agent. Sheamus, simply by being more brutal, can set himself apart from the other heels on the brand really fast, if WWE allows him.
After last week's fantastic angle, Kofi Kingston followed it up with a really good interview about not being intimidated by Orton. Him dropping the Jamaican stereotype gimmick was a smart move by WWE, as it is much easier to take him seriously. He probably needs new music and logos too, although I did notice his color scheme is changing.
Thankfully, the match between Kofi and Randy Orton barely got going when Legacy came out and Kofi dove on all of them. Why do I say thankfully? Because, from a business perspective, it makes absolutely no sense to give away Kofi vs. Orton in a singles match on Raw one week after that angle. This is a PPV worthy match, or at the minimum, a Raw main event. Ozzy & Sharon add MVP & Mark Henry to the mix ... hey, haven't we seen this "guest host makes a singles match into a tag match" but before? Anyway, we got a six man tag match now.
A six-man tag that the crowd was really into, which is a good sign. Maybe there is still hope for MVP and Mark Henry after all. A good match, with the babyfaces getting some offense at the start, then the heels beating down MVP to set up the hot tag to Mark Henry (after Orton had knocked Kofi off the apron). The finish, with Kofi dropkicking Orton from the ring and Henry powerslamming Cody was well done, and the pop from the crowd says a lot. A Legacy vs. Kofi/Henry/MVP feud could be a lot of fun, and certainly would be a welcome change of pace for Orton.
Raw's Got Talent? I had vaguely heard of "America's Got Talent" but had no clue Sharon Osbourne was on it. I knew the legendary David Hasselhoff was on it, but never actually sat down to watch it. Like I said, I don't watch a lot of television. I watch the NFL Network and VH-1 Classics mostly. I like old movies, like Universal Horror flicks from the 30's and 40's, and Bruce Lee films. I like Disney films, and old 80's shows like The A-Team. I love music documentaries. I'm a big Simpsons fan, that would be the only "current" show I watch. Why am I typing all this? So, I can avoid writing about this dumb ass segment.
Okay, I'll make it quick, something the segment itself was not. Great Khali returns to judge a talent show on Raw, instead of on Smackdown to get revenge on Kane? That makes no sense. Santino bites the head off a Batman action figure. Yawn. Chris Masters flexes his pectorals to the bass line from "Crazy Train". Way to be a heel! Jillian Hall & Chavo Guerrero come out, so Sharon can slap Jillian and Hornswoggle, dressed as Jack Osbourne, can splash him. Hey, whatever happened to that storyline where Chavo was looking out for Hornswoggle? Anyway, maybe some of you enjoyed this goofiness, but the only thing I got a chuckle out of was Jillian saying Sharon was jealous of Lita Ford (Sharon managed Lita during the peak of her career, and apparently their split was less than pleasant).
A six-Diva battle royal to determine the next challenger to Melina's Divas Title. I'm always a fan of people "earning" a title shot, so I like this concept. Of course, since Jillian had just been slapped by Sharon, she wasn't in the match, meaning we had one heel and five babyfaces in the bout. And what do you know, the heel won! So, it will be Alicia Fox vs. Melina at some point in the future. We also had a bit of tension between Kelly Kelly and Gail Kim over the latter's elimination, so perhaps a Kim turn is coming to even things out on this brand. We also had Jack Swagger checking out Eve. You'd think he would have been coming out Miz vs. Bourne earlier, but then again, it appears Swagger's storyline changes every other week now.
Chris Jericho had to be popping inside over getting to do a segment with Ozzy Osbourne. In one year, he has shared screen time with Ricky Steamboat and Ozzy. That's pretty cool. I wonder how many fans got the "Ultimate Sin" comment from Jericho. Of course, Ozzy doesn't know who anyone is, which is probably the truth, but doesn't make the top stars look very good.
How do you promote a PPV main event with your three most popular babyface stars? Naturally, you start with a Leprechaun on a hook.... Yep, forget about tension, professional pride, desire to be champion. It's all about acting goofy and making masturbation jokes. They grossed out the Bellas, and just made most viewers sigh. Apparently, we are not to take the WWE Title seriously. I guess we should all "lighten up" about it. I'm sure soon someone will tell us "the belt is just a prop" after all.
What better way to promote Triple Threat matches ... than with another Triple Threat match! Big Show and Chris Jericho work over John Cena, while DX cracks goofy jokes the whole match. Some of the jokes were funny, and at some points, it might have been nice to take the match seriously. I know, I ask too much. Eventually, and this will shock you, Chris Jericho and Big Show get upset with each other, allowing John Cena to have brief moments of control over both Show and Jericho. The finish, with Show punching out Cena and Jericho getting the pin, was smart. It showed what might happen in the Jericho-Show-Undertaker match at the PPV, and it also, for once, saw John Cena not "overcome the odds" and actually lose to the heels. The post-match was even better, as Jericho and Show take out DX as well. For a change, the heels got to look REALLY strong at the end of the night, a refreshing change from the norm.
What To Make Sure And Watch If You DVR'd The Show: The Kofi-Orton stuff, Bourne-Miz, and the main event are worth watching.
