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WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT: NO WAY OUT REMATCH; MICK FOLEY; VICKIE GUERRERO GETS CRABBY; DO YOU TRUST AJ WITH A HAMMER?; FIRST MAN IN MONEY IN THE BANK ANNOUNCED

By Richard Trionfo on 2012-06-22 21:59:48
We are live on tape from Baltimore, Maryland and your announcers are Josh ‘I hope to get some crabs tonight’ Mathews, Michael ‘The Peter Angelos of Announcers’ Cole, and Booker ‘What about Purple Power’ T.

We begin Teddy Long, who has been freed from his indentured servitude under John Laurinaitis and Teddy is dancing again. Teddy reminds everyone that John Laurinaitis is fired. Teddy mentions that tonight’s General Manager is Mick Foley.

Before Teddy can gloat about the future . . . or lack thereof . . . for John Laurinaitis, Big Show makes his way to the ring.

Show looks around and he says that he could care less that John Laurinaitis got fired. Show says that he didn’t care about John Laurinaitis. Show says that he doesn’t care about any of us. The only person that he cares about is himself.

Show says that he is not talking about him the businessman, the corporate puppet, or the ‘okay, I’ll do whatever you want boss’. He is talking about the real Big Show. Show congratulates John Cena. Show says that it is true that John Cena was able to escape the cage with the help of five of his cronies to win the match.

In a one-on-one fight . . . a fair fight, he would crush John Cena. The fans boo but they know that he is telling them the truth. Show says that he is past that. He doesn’t care about John Cena any more.

Show says that he is going to throw his hat . . . the fans chant for Cena and Show reminds the fans that he said that he does not care about them. Show says that he is throwing his hat into the Money in the Bank Match. There is no amount of men who will stop him. When he cashes in the Money in the Bank contract, there is no man . . . no thing . . . or no champion who can stop him.

Show says that when he becomes a champion, he will one as long as he wants to be. Show says that winning the WWE Championship, he is not doing it for the guys in the locker room, the WWE, or the fans. Show says that he is winning the WWE Championship for one person. That championship is all his.

Show is interrupted by some funk and Brodus Clay makes his way to the ring with the Funkettes.

Brodus sends the Funkettes around the ring and Brodus stares down Big Show. Show attacks Brodus when he enters the ring and Brodus with a shoulder tackle that takes Show down. Brodus punches Show in the corner but David Otunga comes to the ring and he clips Brodus.

Show removes his hat and he looks at Brodus, who is unable to get back to his feet. Show kicks Brodus in his injured leg a few times. Show with a kick to the midsection as he takes his time decimating Brodus.

The fans chant ‘You Can’t Wrestle’ while Show kicks Clay one more time in the leg. Show sets up for the punch and Brodus gets hit in the temple and then he yells at the fans before leaving the ring.

Not one to take advantage of a situation, Otunga goes into the ring to take advantage of the scraps left by Big Show. Otunga tells Brodus that someone better call his mama. Otunga says that he will call her when he gets back to the locker room. Otunga says that he will tell Mama Clay that her son has fallen and can’t get up. Otunga wants Clay to get up so he can show them how.

Otunga asks Cameron and Naomi to get into the ring so he can show them how it is done.

Otunga starts to dance and it looks like Jonathan Coachman’s dance ability has been absorbed by Otunga.

We go to commercial.

We are back and there are two men who we have never seen in the ring. Guess what that means. Frank takes the mic and he says that their opponent is starting swear and then Jared says that they are on the rise. Frank says that this will be the summer to remembers.

Match Number One: Frank Venezia and Jared Wachtler versus Ryback

Frank and Jared surround Ryback and then Frank tries to sneak up on Ryback but the big man turns around and Frank thinks about another option. Ryback with a shoulder tackle to Jared and then he picks up Jared and throws him onto Frank. Ryback picks up Frank and he calls him stupid. Ryback throws Frank into the turnbuckels and then he gives Jared a buckle bomb. Ryback with a boot to Frank’s chest and he calls him stupid again. Ryback with a spinebuster to Jared and then he power bombs him onto Frank.

Ryback says that it is time to finish things so he picks up Frank and Jared and hits the double muscle buster for the three count.

Winner: Ryback

We go to the back where Mick Foley is talking to Yoshi Tatsu. Yoshi says that he is a fan of Mr. Socko. Vickie Guerrero interrupts and she asks Yoshi if he has some sushi to eat. Yoshi tells Vickie that she is an ugly old witch.

Mick tells Vickie that being called an ugly old witch is a positive thing in Japanese culture.

Vickie tells Mick that she will be running both shows next week. Vickie tells Mick that if he doesn’t behave, he will be her assistant.

Mick says that it great news because he will be on Smackdown two weeks in a row.

Vickie tells Mick that he shouldn’t be happy about that development.

Mick has an idea for an assistant and he brings over Great Khali and it is time to dance.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a WWE Raw 1000th Episode Memorable Moment. Daniel Bryan says that one of his most memorable moments was when Marty Jannetty defeated Shawn Michaels to win the Intercontinental Title. Bryan mentions the Superkick heard Round the World. We go to May 17, 1993 when Marty Jannetty came through the crowd to challenge Shawn and win the title.

Match Number Two: Alberto Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez versus Christian

They lock up and Del Rio backs Christian into the corner and Del Rio tries to give a clean break but Christian holds on. Del Rio with a knee and side head lock. Christian with a shoulder tackle and a back heel kick. Christian goes to the turnbuckles for a sunset flip and a near fall. Del Rio with kicks to Christian and it staggers the Intercontinental Champion.

Del Rio charges into the corner and Christian sends Del Rio over the top rope to the floor. Christian goes to the top turnbuckle and hits a cross body from the top onto Del Rio on the floor. We go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio with an arm bar and chin lock. We see footage from the commercial break when Del Rio moved on the floor and Christian collided with the steps. Del Rio holds on to the arm bar but Christian with punches to get out o the hold. Christian tries for a sunset flip but Del Rio stays on his feet and then hits an elbow drop to the arm and gets a near fall.

Del Rio with a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Del Rio wraps Christian’s arm in the ropes and then he continues to work over the shoulder and bicep. Del Rio with a kick to the arm and Del Rio gets a near fall. Del Rio with a kick to the shoulder. Del Rio goes to the turnbuckles but he takes too long and Christian recovers. Christian with punches and he hits a rana from the turnbuckles and gets a near fall.

Christian with a punch and running forearm and then he slingshots to the floor and hits an uppercut. Christian goes up top but he misses a cross body. Del Rio misses the step up enzuigiri in the corner. Christian with a tornado DDT but Del Rio kicks out. Del Rio with a punch to the midsection followed by an arm breaker but Del Rio runs into boots in the corner. Christian with a missile drop kick for a near fall.

Christian continues to try to get feeling back into his arm and he sets for the Killswitch but Del Rio escapes. Del Rio tries for a belly-to-back suplex but Christian lands on his feet. Del Rio tries to hyperextend the arm but he can only get a near fall.

Del Rio with a kick to the head and then he goes to the turnbuckles but he misses a back senton when Christian moves out of the way. Christian tries for the spear but Del rio with a super kick. Del Rio tries for the float over into the cross arm breaker but Christian escapes. Del Rio escapes the Killswitch and then Del Rio sends Christian into the turnbuckles.

Del Rio charges into the corner but Christian meets him with a pendulum kick. Ricardo distracts Christian long enough to allow Del Rio to hit the step up enzuigiri when Christian was on the turnbuckles. Del Rio with the cross arm breaker and Christian taps out.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

After the match Cody Rhodes comes to the ring and he hits a clothesline to the back of the head. Rhodes with kicks to the shoulder and then he applies a Fujiwara arm bar. Christian is able to get to his feet but Cody with a knee to the midsection and then he sends Christian shoulder first into the ring post. Cody yells at Christian and he says that he is Smackdown.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Cody Rhodes’ attack on Christian after Christian’s match with Alberto Del Rio.

Josh brings up the situation surrounding the WWE Title and Michael Cole mentions AJ and he wonders who AJ is behind.

We have a video package about AJ.

Match Number Three: Kane versus Daniel Bryan

Before the match starts, AJ makes her way to ringside where she is the guest time keeper.

Bryan with kicks to the leg but he tries for a cross body and Kane catches him and slams Daniel. Kane with an elbow drop and then he punches Bryan. Kane with an uppercut but Bryan with an elbow and then Kane charges at him and Bryan drops down and Kane goes to the floor.

Bryan tries for a baseball slide but Kane side steps him and Kane with a clothesline. Kane tries to send Bryan into the ring post but Bryan gets free and hits a running drop kick that sends Kane into the post.

They return to the ring and Bryan hits the running drop kick into the corner and Bryan gets a near fall. Bryan chokes Kane in the ropes. Bryan with kicks of Yes to the chest. Bryan with a side head lock and Kane with a knee to the midsection and a drop kick for a near fall.

Kane punches Bryan and then Irish whips Bryan into the corner and hits a clothesline. Kane with another Irish whip but he runs into a boot from Bryan. Kane with a side slam when Bryan tried to get Kane to the mat. Kane with a near fall. Kane goes up top for the clothesline but Bryan with a drop kick to counter.

Bryan with kicks of Yes to the chest but Kane blocks a round kick and Kane pushes Bryan down. Bryan with a drop toe hold that sends Kane into the turnbuckles. Bryan goes up top for the missile drop kick but he misses and Kane sends Bryan into the turnbuckles.

Kane puts Bryan on the turnbuckles but Bryan pushes Kane away and hits the missile drop kick for a near fall. Bryan with more kicks of Yes but Kane sends Bryan into the turnbuckles and he punches Bryan. Bryan flips over Kane but he runs into a big boot. Kane signals for the choke slam but Bryan with a drop kick to the knees.

Bryan with a round kick to the head and then he gets a near fall. Bryan goes up top for the diving head butt and Kane gets his hand up and sets for a choke slam but Bryan fights it and he tries to get Kane to the mat for the Yes Lock. Kane pushes Bryan away and then Kane tries for the choke slam but Bryan counters with a guillotine choke.

Kane runs Bryan into the turnbuckles but Bryan holds on to the choke and Kane looks like he is going to get off his feet but Kane fights through it. Bryan with a sunset flip for a near fall and then he applies the Yes Lock. Kane tries to get to the ropes and the bell rings.

Bryan thinks that he has won but the referee says that Kane never tapped.

The referee explains to Bryan and Bryan misses the running drop kick into the corner and Kane with a choke slam for the three count.

Winner: Kane

After the match, AJ looks at Kane and Kane looks back at AJ. AJ skips to the back while Kane tries to figure out what is going on.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Mick Foley makes his way to the ring to address the fans in Baltimore.

Mick thanks everyone for the nice response. He thanks John Laurinaitis for being so lame as a general manager. Mick says that he is looking forward to having some fun right here . . . in Baltimore.

Heath Slater’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring.

Heath says that he came out here to lead a little protest. On Monday, Cyndi Lauper and Roddy Piper embarrassed him. He wants Mick to do something about it.

Mick stops Heath and tells him that Cyndi is a formidable opponent and it is nothing for Heath to be embarrassed about. Heath will have something to be embarrassed about tonight.

Match Number Four: Zack Ryder versus Heath Slater

They lock up and Ryder with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Ryder with a running forearm followed by a flap jack and Ryder gets a near fall. Slater goes into the ropes and then he punches Ryder and kicks Zack in the back. Slater with an Irish whip and neck breaker for a near fall.

Slater argues with the referee and that allows Ryder to get his knees up and then Ryder hits the Rough Ryder for the three count.

Winner: Zack Ryder

We go to commercial.

We are back and Zack and Mick are walking through the back and they are talking about what just happened in the ring. They are stopped by Damien Sandow.

Sandow says that it was deplorable, contemptible, and abhorrent.

Foley apologizes and blames it on standing under the lights.

Sandow says that he was referring to that poor excuse for entertainment that those two ignoramuses just put on.

Foley figures that they are cool and he wants to shake Damien’s hand.

Ryder stands up for Foley and he tells Damien that Foley is a legend.

Damien says that Ryder is the world’s leading miscreant. For years, Ryder’s drivel has led the WWE Universe into the doldrums of ignorance. It will happen no more.

Damien leaves and then he returns to tell Mick and Zack that they are welcome.

Mick tells Damien to have a nice day.

Match Number Five: The Usos versus Darren Young and Titus O’Neil with Abraham Washington

Before the match, Abraham Washington comes out and he tells everyone who he is and he wants to introduce the future Tag Team Champions.

Jey and Darren start things off and they lock up. Young with a forearm to the back of the head and a shoulder tackle. Jey with a flying forearm and then he chops Darren in the corner. Jimmy tags in and they hit a double back elbow and double elbow drop. Titus thinks about interfering but when it looks like the Usos are going to hit a double super kick, Titus goes to the floor.

Jimmy with a chop and Jey tags back in and hits a running forearm into the corner. Jey with a chop before he tags Jimmy in. Jey Irish whips Darren towards Jimmy and Jimmy with an uppercut. Jimmy gets a near fall. Darren with a jawbreaker and then he runs Jimmy into the corner and Titus tags in.

Jimmy punches Titus and Darren but Titus sends Jimmy to the mat. Titus with a reverse chin lock and then he connects with forearms across the chest. Jimmy gets to his feet but Jimmy is pushed into the corner. Jimmy with a back body drop and then he sets for the running butt splash into the corner and he hits it and gets a near fall.

Jey with a savate kick to Darren and then Jey and Darren go over the top rope to the floor. Jimmy with a forearm and then he hits a Samoan drop. Jimmy goes up top for the Superfly splash but Washington gets on the apron to distract the referee long enough to allow Young to crotch Jimmy. Titus with Clash of the Titus for the three count.

Winners: Darren Young and Titus O’Neil

We go to commercial.

We are back and Darren, Titus, and Abe walk through the back celebrating their victory. They are stopped by Epico, Primo, and Rosa Mendes. Primo punches Washington and then the two teams fight while Rosa yells for no apparent reason.

Santino Marella makes his way to the ring. He says hello to the people of Baltimore. He says that it is his pleasure and honor to celebrate the creativity of the people who took the time to make the signs.

Santino reviews the signs and comments on them. Santino finds the person who has a sign for Santino. Santino wants her to come to the ring and she is excited to be in there. She is wearing a Santino shirt and has a cobra on her arm. Santino wants the cobras to kiss and then the woman kisses Santino and he collapses to the mat.

We go to commercial with Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler walking through the back in split screen.

We are back with another WWE Raw 1000 Memorable Moment and it is Jerry Lawler talking about Steve Austin visiting Vince in the hospital.

Match Number Six: Sheamus versus Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero

Ziggler with a waist lock and Sheamus with a standing switch. Ziggler with a rollup but Sheamus avoids a count. Ziggler does leg raises in the corner and Vickie is impressed. Ziggler with a side head lock and Sheamus powers out of the hold by picking up Ziggler and throwing him off. Sheamus with a hip lock take down.

Sheamus with a shoulder tackle and then he swats a drop kick away. Sheamus with the rolling fireman’s carry slam and gets a near fall. Sheamus works on the arm but Ziggler with a kick to the leg followed by punches. Ziggler with a kick and punches and the referee warns Ziggler. Ziggler with a kic to the chest and then he drops down when Sheamus charges at him and Sheamus goes over the top rope to the floor.

Ziggler with a drop kick to knocks Sheamus off the apron. Ziggler tries for a cross body off the apron but Sheamus catches him and hits a fallaway slam into the ringside barrier and we go to commercial.

We are back and Ziggler with a kick to the head and Ziggler with a chin lock and arm bar. Sheamus back body drops Ziggler over the top rope to the floor. Sheamus follows after Ziggler and Sheamus sends Ziggler’s head into the steps. Sheamus yells at Vickie and that distraction allows Ziggler to hit a Fameasser off the steps.

They return to the ring and Ziggler with a neck breaker and he hits it and gets a near fall. Ziggler kicks and punches Sheamus. Ziggler with a leaping elbow drop and he gets a near fall. Ziggler tries for the sleeper but he cannot lock it in and it is a chin lock instead. Sheamus punches Ziggler in the chest.

Ziggler sends Sheamus into the ropes with a drop toe hold and then Ziggler goes to the apron and hits a drop kick and then he rolls in and gets a near fall but since Ziggler’s foot was under the ropes, it might have cost him the match.

ZIggler tries for another neck breaker and he hits it. Ziggler gets another near fall. Ziggler with a reverse chin lock and body scissors. Ziggler with a front face lock and he pushes Ziggler off. Sheamus with running double sledges. Sheamus pushes Ziggler into the corner and he hits a running knee lift. Ziggler escapes the power slam.

Ziggler also escapes the Air Raid Crash and turns it into a sunset flip for a near fall. Ziggler with a kick and a leaping DDT and both men are down. Ziggler gets a near fall. Sheamus goes to the apron and he punches Ziggler and then Sheamus goes up top for the shoulder tackle but Ziggler recovers and he leaps to the corner but Sheamus with a forearm that knocks Ziggler to the mat. Sheamus with the flying shoulder tackle and he gets a near fall.

Zigler rolls to the apron and Sheamus realizes that it is time for the forearms across the chest. Ziggler with a shot ot the head but Sheamus pulls Ziggler back into the ring and he tries for the uranage back breaker but Ziggler with elbows to the head. Ziggler with a kick to the chest of the charging Sheamus. Ziggler runs into the Brogue Kick for the three count.

Winner: Sheamus

We go to credits.

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