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WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT: IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY, BUT SOME WRESTLING WOULD BE NICE; WHAT IS AJ'S MOTIVATION?; ANTONIO CESARO RETURNS TO THE RING

By Richard Trionfo on 2012-06-08 21:56:05
We are live on tape from Columbia, South Carolina and your announcers are Booker ‘Spurier’ T, Josh ‘Ear Plugs’ Mathews, and Michael ‘Slow and Low’ Cole.

Booker asks Cole about what happened to him at the end of Raw against John Cena and Cole is not happy.

Alberto Del Rio makes his way to the ring but he is not introduced by the usual voice of Destiny.

Alberto tells everyone that just because he can, he wants to see what he did to Sheamus on Raw. We see the footage of Del Rio attacking Sheamus after Sheamus’ match.

Alberto has a smile on his face and he tells Sheamus that is a lesson for him. Sheamus said never trust a hooligan and he tells Sheamus not to mess with him because if Sheamus thought that was bad, at No Way Out, he is going to break his arm and then . . .

Sheamus’ music plays and he looks a lot shorter and trollish. It is Ricardus and Alberto has a laugh about it.

Alberto asks ‘Sheamus’ what he wants. Alberto wants to be honest with everyone and he tells the people that it is not Sheamus. Alberto says that anyone can be Sheamus. All you have to do is pound your chest like a caveman. Anyone can spike their hair. Anyone can act like a common hooligan. There is only one Alberto Del Rio. He asks ‘Sheamus’ what is he going to do. Is he going to hit Del Rio with a Brogue kick. He asks Sheamus to show everyone what makes him so dangerous. ‘Sheamus’ falls on his rear end when he tries for a Brogue kick.

Sheamus’ music plays again and this time Alberto found a Sheamus lookalike who could be the real thing. Sheamus attacks Del Rio and Ricardo and he takes care of Ricardo first. Ricardo climbs on top of Sheamus but Sheamus sends Ricardo to the floor again. Del Rio with a kick to the midsection and arm but Sheamus takes care of Del Rio.

Sheamus follows them up the ramp, fella and Del Rio is sent into the giant ‘W’. Sheamus looks at the edge of the stage but Ricardo grabs the legs and he Van Gundys Sheamus to protect Alberto. Alberto attacks Sheamus until referees come out to separate them.

Teddy Long comes out and he does not have his dress on, but he has his name tag. Teddy is going to act on John’s behalf tonight. They will not come out and turn this show into chaos. Teddy says that per John, in the spirit of fairness, excitement, and people power, Kane will face Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio will face this man . . .

The Great Khali comes to the ring.

We go to commercial.

Match Number One: Great Khali versus Alberto Del Rio with Ricardo ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ Rodriguez

Del Rio with a kick to the leg and punches but Khali with a chop to the head and sends Del Rio into the turnbuckles. Khali with kicks and a chop. Khali sends Del Rio into the turnbuckles and then he chops Del Rio again.

Khali with an Irish whip and he misses a boot in the corner. Del Rio kicks the leg and then he works on the knee. Del Rio with a drop kick and he gets a near fall. Del Rio with another kick to Khali and he gets another near fall. Del Rio tries to hyper extend the knee and then he kicks Khali in the shoulder. Khali with a chop to Del Rio as Del Rio comes off the turnbuckles.

Khali with clotheslines and a chop to the top of the head. Khali signals for the choke slam but Ricardo gets on the apron and he distracts Khali. Del Rio with an arm breaker and then he punches Khali and he applies the cross arm breaker and Khali taps out.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

In case you missed any of the times that Big Show tried to explain his actions, we get to see it again.

Teddy Long is on the phone and the Funkettes enter the office and interrupt his phone call. Brodus follows behind and Teddy tells Brodus he has some good news and bad news. Teddy says that he is not allowed on Raw to protect him from Big Show. Brodus is now on the Smackdown roster.

Brodus says that when he sees his opponents, he sees the Big Show and he is going to eat them up.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Two: Brodus Clay with the Funkettes versus Derrick Bateman

They lock up and Brodus backs Derrick into the corner and Brodus with punches and a knee. Clay sends Bateman to the floor and Brodus follows after him. Clay with a running head butt to Bateman and then he sends Bateman over the ringside barrier into the ring bell pit.

Clay with a splash to Bateman followed by the Sheeeeplex and splash for the three count.

Winner: Brodus Clay

We go to commercial.

We are back with a WWE 1000 Memorable Moment. We go to Booker T’s favorite moment when he main evented Raw with Marcus Bagwell in 2001.

Match Number Three: Sin Cara sin trampoline versus Drew McIntyre

Drew with a kick and forearm to the back. Cara avoids a slam and Cara with a kick. Cara with a double jump arm drag and then he bounces off the ropes and hits an arm drag to Drew. Drew sends Cara to the apron but Cara with a running knee.

Cara charges at Drew on the apron and Drew sends Cara into the air and Drew with a kick to the midsection. They return to the ring and Drew gets a near fall. Drew with a seated abdominal stretch. Cara with kicks but Drew with a knee and forearm to the back. Drew gets Cara on his shoulders but Cara counters with a rana and he sends McIntyre into the turnbuckles. Cara with a head scissors and then he hits a handspring back elbow for a near fall.

Drew with a boot to the head when the referee tells something to Cara and Drew gets a near fall. Drew sends Cara into the turnbuckles but Cara with boots to Drew. Cara goes up to the second turnbuckle and he tries for La Mistica but Drew blocks it. Cara is able to hit a tornado DDT for the three count.

Winner: Sin Cara

Match Number Four: Tony Andriodes and Kevin Mahoney versus Ryback

One of them charge at Ryback and he sends him into the turnbuckles. Ryback catches the other and sends him into his tag team partner. Ryback puts them in the corner and hits a running shoulder. Ryback winds up for the lariat and he sends one of them into North Carolina. Ryback with a power bomb and it is time to finish off his opponents for a flawless victory. It is time for the double muscle buster and gets the three count.

Winner: Ryback

We go to commercial.

We are back with the Smack of the Night and it is Christian’s victory over Cody Rhodes at Over the Limit.

The set of the Peep Show is being constructed but Cody Rhodes’ music plays. Cody makes his way to the ring and he enters the ring and destroys the set.

Cody takes the mic and he says that from the looks of it we were going to have a Peep Show where Christian would be asking him leading and self flattering questions. He does not answer to Christian. Christian should be answering to him. Christian stole the title that Cody brought prestige back to. Christian is the one dealing with a midlife crisis.

Christian’s music plays and he makes his way out and he tells Cody that he is the one who beat Cody for the Intercontinental Championship. If Cody wanted to be the host, he tells him to go ahead and ask.

Cody says that all he is interested in asking is who Christian is trying to fool. Before Over the Limit, Christian did not care about the fans. He only cared about himself. He wants to know why Christian went soft and sacrificed the only self respect that he had.

Christian says that he had a moment of clarity. He reminds everyone of his injury. On the night before Wrestlemania, when he inducted Edge into the Hall of Fame, it hit him that all of this and coming out in front of the WWE Universe and his peeps is a privilege that can go away in an instant. If that happened, would he want to be known as the annoying, sniveling, whining guy who begged for one more match or would he want to be someone who came back to win championships and a Hall of Fame career like his best friend.

Cody says that is a load of garbage. Cody says that his father is a Hall of Famer and he is a future Hall of Famer. Christian is a guy who took advantage of a situation and got lucky at Over the Limit. At No Way Out, his title is coming home.

Christian says that he would prefer that Cody shut his mouth. Christian says that he will finish the Peep Show by wiping the ring with him.

Dolph Ziggler makes his way out and he thanks Cody for starting off the Peep Show early, but he is here to wrap it up. He is going to do what he does best and that is show off and beat Christian.

Match Number Five: Dolph Ziggler versus Christian

They lock up and Ziggler with a waist lock take down and he gets a near fall. Ziggler with a kick and side head lock. Christian with a flap jack and then he sends Ziggler out of the ring but Ziggler lands on the apron. Ziggler with a shoulder and he sends Christian to the floor. Christian pulls Ziggler off the apron.

Christian with a hesitation baseball slide to Ziggler and then he goes to the floor but lands on his feet when Ziggler moves. Ziggler with a knee to the midsection and we go to commercial.

We are back and Ziggler with a quarter nelson and chin lock. Christian with punches but Ziggler with a drop kick and he gets a near fall. Ziggler with a knee drop and he gets another near fall. Ziggler chokes Christian in the ropes and applies a snap mare and then puts Christian in an arm bar.

Christian with punches but Ziggler with a kick and punch. Ziggler with an elbow to the back of the neck. Christian tries for a drop kick but Ziggler blocks it and he catapults Christian into the turnbuckles and then hits a running shoulder into the corner. Ziggler goes into the corner but Christian moves and hits a pendulum kick.

Ziggler with a kick to the midsection and Ziggler tries for a Fameasser but Christian counters with a power bomb and gets a near fall. Christian punches Ziggler but Ziggler with kicks. Christian with a drop toe hold and then he slingshots to the floor and connects with a punch to Ziggler. Christian with a kick and he tries for a sunset flip. Ziggler rolls through and gets a near fall after a Fameasser.

Ziggler pie faces Christian but Christian with an inverted DDT. Christian sets for a spear but Ziggler with a drop kick to a charging Christian for a near fall. Ziggler leaps on Christian’s back for a sleeper but Christian with a snap mare. Ziggler sends Christian into the turnbuckles and Ziggler tries for a Zig Zag but Christian avoids it. Christian goes to the turnbuckles and Ziggler climbs onto the turnbuckles but Christian pushes him off and Christian hits the frog splash for the three count.

Winner: Christian

After the match, Cody gets up from his seat at the announce table and Cody applauds Christian’s performance while Booker reads Cody the riot act for his reaction.

We go to commercial.

We are back with the Raw Rebound.

Josh and Booker laugh at the footage of Michael Cole from Monday night.

Cole gets up and he wants everyone’s attention. He says that he has heard the laughter and chuckles, but Monday night was one of the most traumatic nights of his life. Cole says that everyone will be mature enough to move on and let bygones be bygones.

Jim Ross’ music plays and JRSwoggle makes his way to the ring with barbecue sauce in hand.

Before JRSwoggle can leave the ring, Damien Sandow’s music plays and he makes his way to the stage.

Damien begs everyone’s indulgence. He says that he is here to help all of us. For far too long, miscreants such as Hornswoggle have been raised to cult status and that has led the lambs of the WWE Universe to slaughter. He says that he cannot and will not let this ridiculous content to assimilate itself into our society. This diminutive ignoramus will be taught a lesson this evening.

Sandow tells Hornswoggle ‘You’re Welcome’

Tyson Kidd tries to help Hornswoggle and Kidd with a springboard drop kick and Sandow goes to the floor.

Sandow refuses Kidd’s challenge and walks away.

Sandow charges into the ring and he attacks Kidd from behind and then Sandow with knees to the head followed by a cross arm neck breaker and then he covers Kidd and smiles.

Sandow’s music plays and he does his traditional victory cartwheel.

We go to commercial.

We are back with the WWE Rewind: Kane versus CM Punk from Raw and AJ’s attempts to find someone who will love her.

Kane is in the back and he realizes that it is time to start walking.

Matt Striker asks Kane about his match with Sheamus and the chance to defeat the World and WWE Champion in the same week. Kane says that he does not have any feelings. He tells Matt to ask CM Punk how it feels to be choke slammed to hell. Matt can ask Sheamus after their match tonight. Kane says that he only cares about winning the Triple Threat Match at No Way Out.

Matt asks Kane about his shared moment with AJ and Kane looks at Matt and Matt knows to leave.

Kane walks down the hall and we see AJ emerge from behind some cases and AJ is in love . . . or something else.

Match Number Six: Jimmy Uso versus Antonio Cesaro with Aksana

Cesaro with a forearm and head butt to Jimmy followed by an Irish whip but Jimmy slides into the corner and he connects with a punch and diving head butt for a near fall. Jimmy with a splash into the corner and he tries for a slam but Cesaro gets out of the hold. Cesaro with an elevated European uppercut followed by the Gotch Style Neutralizer.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro

After the match, Antonio and Aksana want Teddy to join them in the ring after the match. Antonio wants Teddy to raise his arm in victory while Antonio and Aksana kiss. Teddy storms out of the ring.

It is time for another WWE 1000 Favorite Moment. This one is from Sheamus and the Breakthrough Battle Royal in November 2009.

Match Number Seven: Sheamus versus Kane

They lock up and Sheamus backs Kane into the corner and gives a clean break. Sheamus with a side head lock but Kane with a shoulder tackle and Sheamus backs up into the corner for a moment. Sheamus works on the arm but Kane with punches to Sheamus. Sheamus with punches of his own.

Kane grabs Sheamus by the throat and sends him into the corner. Sheamus with punches but Kane with an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner followed by an uppercut. Kane chokes Sheamus with his boot. Kane wraps the injured arm in the ropes. Kane with an Irish whip but he runs into an elbow from Sheamus. Sheamus with kicks to Kane but Kane sends Sheamus over the top rope to the apron. Sheamus with a shoulder but Kane with a boot that knocks Sheamus off the apron.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Kane gets a near fall. Kane works on the head and neck. We see footage from the commercial break when Sheamus was sent into the ringside barrier by Kane. Sheamus gets back to his feet and he gets out of the hold. Kane with a side slam for a near fall. Kane punches Sheamus in the head. Sheamus with shoulders but Kane with a punch and Irish whip.

Sheamus gets his boots up and then he pulls himself up to the turnbuckles despite a bad arm and he hits a shoulder tackle but he connects with the injured arm. Sheamus with punches to Kane and the referee warns him. Sheamus with a running shoulder into the corner followed by a running knee lift and a running double sledge to the head for a near fall.

Sheamus with a kick and a power slam for a near fall. Sheamus gets Kane on his shoulders but Kane escapes. Kane with a drop kick to the head and he gets a near fall. Kane with a head butt, but Sheamus with a uranage back breaker for a near fall. Sheamus with knees to the head and Kane goes to the apron.

Sheamus with the forearms across the chest to Kane. Sheamus tries to suplex Kane back into the ring but Kane blocks it and he drops Sheamus on the top rope. Kane goes up top for the flying clothesline but he takes too long and Sheamus stops him and punches Kane. Sheamus sets for a superplex but Kane holds on to the top rope. Kane knocks Sheamus off the turnbuckles. Kane misses the clothesline and Sheamus gets Kane up for White Noise and hits it.

Sheamus looks around and he thinks about what to do next. Sheamus turns and signals for the Brogue Kick. Kane blocks the Brogue Kick and gets Sheamus up for a choke slam but Sheamus escapes and both men hit clotheslines and both men are down.

From out of nowhere, Ricardo Rodriguez and Alberto Del Rio run to the ring and Alberto stops short. Ricardo goes after Sheamus and the referee calls for the bell.

Winner: Sheamus by disqualification

After the match, Kane with a clothesline and before he can get Sheamus up for the choke slam, AJ Lee makes her way to ringside. Kane takes too much time and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Kane. Sheamus sees Ricardo Rodriguez in the ring and it is Brogue Kick time.

We go to credits.

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